Beginnings

by L. T. Smith

  Before I knew it, my fingers were tangling in her hair pulling her closer and into me. Her thigh pushed its way between my legs and rubbed against the want gathering there. A gasp mingled with the spit and tongues and teeth … mine or hers I don’t know … but it felt wonderful.

  Her hand left my arm, swung behind her to hit the door closed, and then she turned me and walked me backwards … never breaking the contact, her thigh tantalisingly chaffing my groin.

  Against the wall. She pinned me against the wall. Her lips left my mouth stranded and began to devour my neck. Hands searched out the hem of my top and cool fingers slipped inside … strong and sure of purpose … they cupped the underside of my breasts and caressed them juxtaposing the primitive suckling on my neck. Her fingers were gentle, almost reverent.

  God. I wanted her. Wanted her touch. Wanted her mouth. Wanted her to take me and take me and take me forever. My upper body pushed into her; pushed my breasts more firmly into her hands. A thumb broke from the pack and rubbed across my pert nipple. Fuck … it felt good.

  I lifted my leg and wrapped it around her to enable a more definite contact between my legs. My hips began to grind into her; rhythmically in tune with hers … and her mouth and her fingers and …God … I needed more. Needed her.

  Inside my head the thoughts of revenge flitted to the surface only to be replaced by this growing desire coursing through me. I slipped my hands down her back and pushed them beyond the waistband of her trousers, craving the feel of her skin, pushing her into me. I could feel the building of release begging … cleaving … gnawing.

  In unison, our hands were round the front and fighting with the buttons of our trousers. Pop. Pop. Then the zip. Then the hands inside. Then the first touch of fingers on desire. The wetness more than a gathering … more than reason … more than I had ever hoped it would be.

  She was wet for me. So fucking wet … for me.

  And I was wet for her.

  Slick fingers slipped and tugged and pushed and held. God … it felt like I’d died and was living out my fantasy. Oblivion was threatening me … I wanted to remember this moment; the first moment I touched her.

  ‘No.’ Her voice hit my skin and I froze on the spot … my hand down her pants. A surge of anger lifted from my gut and stuck in my throat. I had fallen for her charms again. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have allowed myself to get into this pos …

  ‘Not here … upstairs … properly.’ Staggered words broke out and trickled over me … and I was surprised how the anger dissipated to bliss in just a short space of time.

  Lifting me away from the wall was effortless. Turning me in the direction of the stairs was performed in a dance like way. Her hands and fingers were still embedded in my underwear as were mine in hers. Lips were capturing and clashing as I waltzed, staggeringly, towards the stairs with my partner fully attached to me.

  At the base we began again. Kissing fervently and trying to continue the coupling started minutes before. I could feel her pulling back, but this time I knew it was because she wanted this to be more than a quickie in the hallway … I didn’t know what she wanted it to be, but by that stage I didn’t care.

  My room was dark … and only the light from the streetlights enabled me to see her. But I didn’t have to use my eyes to know her. I had all my other senses wrapping themselves around what was ultimately her … I could smell her scent, you know … her scent. It was compulsive.

  Her arms were around my waist and were rubbing slow circles at the base of my back … her lips taking and possessing my mouth, like they were taking and possessing me. Trousers slipped effortlessly from skin, down ready thighs to expose dampness on underwear. Fingers slipped inside, whilst another hand battled with buttons on tops. Shoes were discarded.

  The air on my skin promised me something it never thought it would get.

  Ash.

  Flesh tingled … expectant. Breasts were discovered with searching fingers. Nipples erect under thumbs.

  Her mouth was pure pleasure, as it traced paths up and down my face, throat and shoulders. Her tongue was inquisitive, as was mine, and wanted to taste it all … wanted to taste all of her.

  I pulled her backwards and towards the bed, needing her to take me … needing those fingers in places that ached for her. The constant throbbing drumming between my legs was becoming unbearable … I just needed a touch … a stroke … a caress.

  Movements were swift and sure, and before I knew it, I was on my back, sprawled on the bed with my legs parted in invitation. Ash crawled up my body making excitement quiver and demand attention. The feel of her skin against mine was pure bliss … no other word could describe it. It felt as if we began to morph into each other on contact … melt into each other.

  Lips met lips in a quest for fulfilment. Hands sought places to worship, tender strokes, which were growing more insistent. The rhythm was steadily increasing and the wetness from me was smearing itself over her leg, making it glide effortlessly over her. Each and every meeting of flesh was exquisite. It felt I couldn’t get close enough to her.

  She was moving downwards … lips leaving a fiery trail as they danced along my throat and neck, suckling my breasts, flicking my nipples; her hands were slipping along my sides.

  Hair tangled in my fingers, soft silky strands I had only ever dreamed of touching. I could feel the heat of her scalp … feel the movement of her head as it moved along around and up and down.

  Leaving the confines of her hair, my fingernails etched a path down her spine, either side, until they reached her arse. Firm and round … and grinding. It was perfect, just how I had always dreamed it would be.

  I could hear my name on her lips … feel my name on her lips … the same lips that were now on my skin and moving towards destiny … towards hope and expectation.

  Hot breath tantalised and agonised over my need and I pushed my hips upwards and closer to her face. Her hands were holding onto my hips and I could feel her push me back onto the bed.

  The first touch of her tongue as it parted my folds made me gasp aloud. I have never felt anything more exquisite in all my life. It was slow and searching … moving upwards to my clit in one stroke, her breath lathing it more fully and blending it into a cocoon of primal need.

  Hips jerked of their own volition; I was vulnerable to this need … vulnerable to her touch. I just wanted more. Blood thundered in my ears making it near impossible to concentrate on anything but her mouth … her fingers on my hips … her tongue.

  God … her tongue. It was moving with agonising precision … up … and down … up … and down. Groans were coming from between my legs, groans of desire. My fingers were back in her hair trying to guide her to my ache … trying to make her slip her tongue inside … taste me from the inside out, just as I wanted to taste her … just as I wanted to love her.

  ‘Take me. Just … take me.’ The words came out stunted and breathless, but the intent was clear. I wanted this woman to take me and own me and possess me and love me in any way she wanted. Any way. I was hers, always had been. And whatever happened after this at least I would have experienced being loved by someone I had spent my whole life craving … spent half my life trying to forget.

  A solitary finger circled my entrance … swirling and teasing. I pushed my hips down trying to capture it inside me, but she just moved it away. I was becoming frustrated. I needed her inside … I needed her inside …

  In. Deep. Full. Captured. An involuntary jerk of my hips pulled it in more fully and I groaned out her name. The finger stayed put, throbbing inside me - or was I throbbing around it? Whatever … it felt like I’d come home again.

  It slipped out and then in and then out and then in … slow and sure … brushing along my walls as it curved and pushed. Another one joined the first and waited inside me. I pushed again and tried to raise myself to look at her. Blue eyes stared intently at me from between my legs, and I felt a spurt of juice shoot from deep inside.

  ‘
Kiss me … please … kiss me.’ I had to have those lips on mine … had to know this wasn’t an illusion, a recreation of the fantasy I had harboured in my chest for years.

  Without taking away her fingers, she crawled up me and laid her frame over my own. Her hand was between my legs and an errant thumb began to brush against my clit. I spread my legs wider wanting to suck her inside, and wrapped my leg around her waist, opening myself up even more for her.

  Her mouth covered mine and her breathing was ragged. I was so consumed by her … so enthralled by her … I wanted this to last forever, but knew I wouldn’t take long to climax. Kisses landed on my throat and neck and I could feel her nipping the flesh.

  ‘God … Lou .. God … I want you want you want you …’ The words tumbled from her mouth and tattooed themselves onto my skin. With every word she pushed inside me, like she was possessing me.

  It was becoming more frantic, more animal. She was fucking me … fucking me … fucking me and it was deliriously brazen. My breast was nearly inside her mouth and she suckled it like she was starving. I pulled her head closer and she groaned into me. One of my hands glided around her arse and pulled in sync with her thrusting, jamming her fingers home.

  I could feel it coming. I could feel myself cumming. I wanted to cum with her … for us to cum together. I needed us to cum together … needed it.

  My hand stopped gripping her arse and slipped between us to halt the pounding of her fingers inside me. ‘Ash … let me touch you … let me … touch you.’ She pulled her fingers free and I slipped my leg between her legs and rubbed my thigh along a soaking want.

  ‘Oh God … Lou … fuck.’ She half bent over me as the sensation ripped through her, my other leg slipping down her calf and stroking the back of hers. Her arm supported her as she leaned back and pounded against my thigh, smearing it with her essence. I sneaked my hand between the gap and through soft pubic hair. Her clit was swollen, and she stopped in mid thrust to allow my fingers access.

  Two fingers parted her folds, and a gasp left her mouth. I watched her eyes flicker closed only to reopen with desire raging from them. A soft snort left her mouth and nostrils, indicating there was no turning back for her … she was close … as close as I was.

  She kneeled and leaned back slightly allowing me to circle her core. Her hand was back and tantalising my opening in rhythm with my ministrations on her. I raised my leg and supported her whilst I slipped two fingers inside, just as she slipped two inside me.

  We both growled with hunger. Hips began a dance … thrusting and pushing and needing to capture and take and own. The need to cum was synonymous to agony and the movements became more forceful, more intense. Both of us were beyond the realm of reality and I could feel her walls clasping around my pulsating fingers, as surely as I could feel my walls spasming.

  ‘Cum for me … cum for me …’ Her voice was deep, growling and primitive, the words weren’t a request they were imperative to her survival.

  White and bright and clear and so fucking intense. I was over. Fighting… clawing … gasping out my cumming into the air to mingle and merge with her sob of release. Uncoordinated coupling, jerky and euphoric, we thrashed and plunged out the last vestiges of delirium before she collapsed on top of me, my fingers sliding effortlessly from within her. Her mouth was wet and soft as she kissed me. It was deep yet gentle, and I felt so much pour from that one kiss than I had from everything that had preceded it. Her body moved against me trying to elicit the aftershocks, trying to appease the need to begin all over again.

  Trying to satiate the raging inside us both.

  But I had waited too long for her… too long for this. I needed to take her again. Fuck her again. Own her again … Love her until I couldn’t move and couldn’t think of her anymore.

  I knew I would never have enough of her … never love her enough …

  But I would die trying.

  And as I rolled her onto her back I thought, ‘This is going to be a long night.’

  And an enjoyable one at that.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  BY THE MORNING light we were nearly dazed with exhaustion. The whole night had been spent discovering each other over and over again. It was only through dehydration that we finally stopped and I lay my head on her chest and nuzzled my face underneath her chin. Soft kisses lingered in my hair and I wished I had the strength to lift my head and claim her mouth again.

  ‘I need water. Want some?’ The vibrations of her voice rippled through her chest and I snuggled deeper into her. I didn’t want to move … didn’t want to break this connection, but I knew I needed liquid.

  I nodded slowly, the movement of my face bringing me closer to her chest and I couldn’t resist a sly flick of my tongue against a sleeping nipple … a nipple that shot to attention immediately, giving the impression it was searching for the perpetrator.

  Ash slithered from underneath me and slipped her shirt on. ‘Won’t be a tick.’ And she was gone, leaving the room decidedly empty.

  I lay back onto the pillows, closed my eyes and sighed. I felt so contented inside … so at peace at last. This is what should have happened twenty years ago.

  My eyelids shot open. ‘Fuck!’ I sat up. ‘Fuck! What have I done?’ Both my hands covered my face and I tried to scramble to a sort of rationalisation if what had taken place. I had just had unbridled sex with Ashley Richards. Ashley Richards.

  The Ashley Richards who had dropped me like a stone twenty years ago.

  The Ashley Richards who had used me to get closer to Danny Spencer.

  The Ashley Richards who now knew I knew about Danny Spencer. And still needed me on her side to get him.

  A fleeting emotion of self-pity shot through me, only to be replaced by anger at what I had allowed to happen. I had been such a fool. Again. I had fallen for her charms. Again. It’s amazing how many ‘agains’ there seemed to be when I was with her.

  I swung my legs over the side of the bed, slipped on my sleeping shirt and readied myself for her to come back in the room.

  Two minutes later, the door opened and she came trotting in, barefoot and naked from the waist down. She grinned at me as she leaned back on the door to push it closed, two glasses of water in her hands.

  I sat. Stoic. Glaring at her. The smile froze momentarily, before slipping completely from her face. ‘Lou?’

  She had the decency to look concerned, but at that time I didn’t think of what she would be feeling at this stage. She had gotten what she wanted … or thought she had gotten it.

  ‘What’s up?’ Silent footsteps led her closer to the bed.

  ‘You think you’re so clever don’t you?’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘You heard.’

  ‘Lou … I don’t know … What’s up?’ She moved closer, but the expression on my face warned her to stop. I had the sheet clutched in my hands, the same sheet we had shared minutes before … the same sheet that reeked of our lovemaking.

  ‘Don’t play games, Ash. I know.’

  ‘I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.’ She set off towards me again. ‘ Can we just …’

  ‘Don’t come any closer.’ I didn’t recognise my voice, just buried my head in my hands again trying to stave off the onslaught of emotion welling up inside me. I didn’t want the fire to dissipate … I needed the anger to get me through this.

  Silence surrounded the bubbling pit of lava churning in my gut. The same lava that was threatening an appearance, vowing to shatter the silence and take no prisoners … kill on sight.

  My nails dug into my scalp and I grimaced with the pain of it, although it wasn’t a patch on what I was feeling inside.

  A sob broke the stillness of the room, and that sob didn’t come from me. ‘Lou?’ Her voice was pleading me, saying so much in just that one word. I could feel the ropes around my heart tug and pull, trying to dislodge the bitterness, which was trying to embed itself there.

  Hands left my face, and I looked in her directi
on, not at her face … I couldn’t handle looking at her face. I looked at her hands … two hands holding water … water in glasses that was moving and jittering around inside the vessel as if it was on board a ship.

  Splosh.

  It hit the stripped wood floor like a brick.

  Splosh.

  Another thudding in such a quiet room. The tears that had began to seep out of my eyes and down my face halted … took stock … waited.

  Splosh.

  I looked at her hands. They were trembling, and so were her arms. I could see her stomach quivering too, retching and rolling. But I couldn’t hear anything now.

  Eyes. I had to see her eyes. I knew her eyes … knew them …

  Her head was bent and I could only see the top and the bottom half of her face. I waited. Waited for her to look at me.

  If I had blinked I would have missed it. That solitary tear that fell from her chin and against her shirt with a muted plop. I just watched the dark patch spread into the size of a penny piece, and then another … plop. Her shoulders began to move, very slightly. Then her tongue came out and smeared itself over her lips.

  ‘What have I done?’ The tone sounded like how I felt. Rejected.

  The answer I wanted to spew out seemed lodged somewhere between my throat and the roof of my mouth. I opened my lips to speak but couldn’t, just chewed around the words, mouth pursing and relaxing in the style of chewing an elastic band.

  ‘Tell me. What have I done?’ A little bolder now, but still full of the same something that was cleaving inside me.

  ‘You used me, Ash.’ Short, simple and to the point.

  ‘Used you? How?’ Her eyes met mine and I felt my chest tighten. Inside my head two words clambered around, ‘Be strong. Be strong…’ But I felt anything but strong at this moment, there … sitting on my bed with my heart in tatters on the floor. I should have been feeling elation – but I was far from that.

  ‘You fucked me to get what you wanted.’ The confession hit the air and hovered over her stunned face.

  ‘Yes I did.’