Lily Steps Up

by Judi Curtin

  I’m living in a boarding house with my sisters. We have a nice, clean, big room, and the landlady isn’t too strict. My brothers are living nearby, but Seamus is sweet on a girl from Chicago and I think they might get engaged soon. Mam and Dad will go mad when they hear because they still hope he’s going to go home and marry Mary Carty. I have a job in a factory where we make mens’ shirts. It’s not a very good job, but I’m hoping to get some­thing better soon. We have a half day on Saturday and all of Sunday off. On Sundays me and my sisters usually put on our best dresses and go for a walk in Central Park. In January it was so cold I thought I would die.

  Oh, Lily, I like it here, but sometimes I cry for Mam and Dad and my old life in Sligo.

  I miss the happy days at school with you and Rose and the Master – that all seems very distant now.

  Please write back to me at the address on the envelope. I want to hear all about Lissadell and Nellie and Maeve.

  Your dear friend

  Hanora.

  I folded the envelope, and wiped away a tear.

  ‘Is Hanora keeping well?’ asked Mam.

  ‘Yes, it sounds as if she is, but …’ I couldn’t say any more for fear of crying my eyes out. Mam put her arms around me. ‘I understand, pet,’ she said. ‘I understand.’

  Chapter Five

  I’m sure the Gore-Booths were having a lovely relaxing holiday, but by the third week I was fit to die. My arms ached from scrubbing and when I walked I was bent over like an old woman of fifty.

  Nellie and I were in the china room, and we had taken down every single piece of china, and cleaned the shelves and lined them with fresh white paper. Nellie hummed as she worked, while I distracted myself by thinking of the beach on a sunny day. Just as we were putting the last of the huge gravy jugs back in place, Mrs Bailey came in. As usual she was carrying a long piece of paper with a list of jobs for Nellie and me to do.

  ‘Tomorrow is Thursday,’ she said to Nellie, as if that might be news to her. Thursday was Nellie’s day off, and I wished it was mine too. I didn’t know if I’d last until Saturday.

  ‘Yes, Mrs Bailey,’ said Nellie politely.

  ‘I was thinking that this week it would be best if you took your day off on Saturday, the same as Lily. That way the two of you can work together on the last of the big jobs tomorrow and on Friday – far more efficient all around.’

  ‘Yes, Mrs Bailey,’ said Nellie.

  ‘Very well,’ said Mrs Bailey. ‘Now off you go. Time for you to get started on Mr Kilgallon’s office.’

  As Mrs Bailey hurried along the corridor, I stared at Nellie.

  ‘That’s not right,’ I said. ‘Thursday is always your day off. She can’t change it like that, can she?’

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Nellie. ‘I didn’t have any big arrangements for tomorrow. I was only going to practise my reading and go for a walk and mend my grey dress. I can do all of that just as easily on Satur­day. Now come along, or we’ll be in trouble with Mrs Bailey.’

  Just then Mrs Bailey turned around and walked back towards us.

  ‘Oh no,’ I whispered. ‘I’ll fall down and die if she’s thought of another job for us to do.’

  But Mrs Bailey wasn’t even looking at her list.

  ‘I nearly forgot,’ she said with a big smile on her face. ‘I should have mentioned that you two girls have done very good work these past few weeks – very good work indeed. The family return on Monday night, and at this rate it’s looking as if all of your work will be finished by Friday evening.’

  Now I smiled too. I had been wondering if our jobs would ever be done.

  ‘So,’ continued Mrs Bailey. ‘I don’t see any reason why you can’t both have a day off on Sunday too – as a reward for all your hard work. What do you think of that?’

  What did I think of that?

  With two days off, I could spend the night at home with my family, sleeping in my own bed, just like I’d done for most of my life!

  I wanted to kiss and hug Mrs Bailey until she begged for mercy.

  But I knew that would not have been a good idea, so I hugged Nellie instead.

  ‘Thank you, Mrs Bailey,’ we said together.

  Mrs Bailey laughed. ‘You’re good girls, both of you,’ she said. ‘Now hurry along with your work, before I change my mind.’

  * * *

  On Saturday morning I was so excited I thought I would burst. Nellie lay in bed and watched as I ran around our little room, selecting the things I’d need – my nightgown and my lovely doll Julianne, who I often brought home so Winnie and Anne could play with her.

  ‘It will be such a surprise for Mam when she hears I can stay for the night,’ I said. ‘It’s months since I’ve done that.’

  ‘I’m happy for you, Lily,’ said Nellie. ‘You’ve been working so hard, you deserve a treat.’

  ‘But you’ve been working hard too,’ I said, feeling guilty. ‘Just as hard as me. What treat will you get?’

  She smiled. ‘Not working is a big treat for me. I can stay in bed as long as I want, and relax and read and …’

  And then I had a wonderful idea. ‘Come with me.’

  ‘Pardon?’ She looked at me as if she didn’t under­stand my words.

  ‘Come with me,’ I said again.

  ‘Oh! You mean, walk a bit of the road with you, and keep you company – is that it? Yes, I’ll do that if you like,’ she said, jumping out of bed. ‘Give me a minute to get dressed.’

  ‘Oh, Nellie. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I want you to come with me, and finally meet Mam and the little ones, and have dinner and tea with us, and stay for the night – and everything.’

  Nellie’s whole face lit up as if the sun were shining on it – though there was no sun coming through our little basement window.

  ‘That would be so …’ she began, and then she con­tinued. ‘But no. I couldn’t do that. It’s not fair. You want your time with your family, and what would your mam say, and Mrs Bailey? It’s very nice of you to offer Lily, but I think it’s best if I stay here.’

  I wanted to shake her. Why did this lovely girl always feel as if she didn’t deserve to be happy?

  Suddenly I knew the answer to this. It was because she’d had so few nice things in her life. Every day I understood more about why she had been so sullen and cross when I first met her.

  ‘I’ll talk to Mrs Bailey,’ I said. ‘She was so happy when we finished all the cleaning yesterday, I know she won’t mind. And Mam is always saying that she’d love to meet you, and we’ve got lots of room – well not exactly lots – but there’s always room for one more. Please say you’ll come. Please?’

  And now her face lit up again. ‘If you’re sure?’

  ‘I’m very sure. Now hurry up. Let’s not waste a single moment of this special day.’

  * * *

  The walk back home always seemed to take ages, but with Nellie by my side the time flew by.

  ‘Not much further,’ I said. ‘Just around this bend and we’re there.’

  Nellie stopped walking. ‘If you’ve changed your mind, I can go back to Lissadell,’ she said. ‘I know the way now.’

  ‘You’re coming with me,’ I said. ‘We agreed, and it’s going to be lovely.’

  She started walking and then stopped again. ‘I should have brought a present for your mam.’

  Poor Nellie had so little, I didn’t know what kind of a present she could have brought.

  ‘I’ve got a huge basket of food from Cook,’ I said. ‘We don’t need to bring anything else.’

  Without another word Nellie turned and ran back the way we had come. I wanted to cry. She was always so kind to me – why wouldn’t she let me share some­thing nice with her?

  But then she stopped and called over her shoulder. ‘Just wait one minute,’ she said. ‘I saw some beautiful wild flowers here – I’ll pick them for your mam.’

  I smiled. ‘Mam loves flowers – and I know she’s going to love you too.’
>
  * * *

  We stopped when we got to the door of my mam’s little house. Nellie looked as if she were about ready to fall into a faint, so I took her hand and squeezed it, trying to make her feel better

  Inside I could hear the boys practising their spell­ing, and Winnie and Anne chatting over one of their made-up games. This was always a strange moment for me – the moment I realised that when I was at Lissadell, life at home went on perfectly well without me.

  I was just about to go in when I remembered some­thing important.

  ‘Don’t say anything about Maeve,’ I whispered. ‘Mam doesn’t know I’m friends with her. She wouldn’t understand, and she’d worry about me.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Nellie. ‘I won’t say a word. You can trust …’

  Just then the door flew open and Mam was there, giving us her lovely warm smile. ‘My darling girl,’ she said when she’d finished hugging me. ‘I thought I heard footsteps. And who is this lovely young lady with you?’

  Poor Nellie’s face turned bright red, but she looked very pleased. I wondered if anyone had ever called her a young lady before.

  ‘This is my friend Nellie,’ I said.

  ‘Nellie!’ said Mam. ‘Lily has told us all about you, and I’m so happy to finally meet you.’

  ‘Hello,’ said Nellie, shyly, holding out the bunch of flowers and leaves that she’d arranged to look very pretty.

  ‘Thank you so much,’ said Mam. ‘They are only perfect. Now come in the two of you and have a glass of water. You must be tired after your walk.’

  I smiled at Nellie as we followed Mam inside, and I knew everything was going to be just right.

  Chapter Six

  The rest of the day was simply lovely. After ten minutes of pretend-shyness, Winnie and Anne were hanging on to Nellie’s dress and asking her to sing for them, and Mam chatted away easily as if she had known her all her life. Denis and Jimmy showed her their collection of dried conkers.

  ‘Conkers are pretty,’ said Nellie. ‘I like seeing them on the ground in autumn – but why have you saved them? What are they for?’

  ‘Everyone knows what you do with conkers,’ said Jimmy.

  ‘Didn’t you play conkers at school?’ asked Denis.

  ‘No,’ said Nellie.

  I suppose her school in the workhouse was a bit different to the one in the village where I used to go. I worried that Denis and Jimmy were going to ask stupid questions and make things awkward, but I should have trusted my little brothers.

  ‘It’s easy,’ said Denis. ‘First you make a hole in the conker – but you have to be careful. I got a fierce bad cut doing it last year.’

  ‘And you put it on a string,’ said Jimmy.

  And then the two of them spent about half an hour explaining all the rules and regulations of a game of conkers, before Mam rescued Nellie by asking for help with peeling the potatoes for dinner.

  At dinner and tea-time, though Mam’s food was plainer than anything at Lissadell House, Nellie praised it as if it were fit for the finest ladies and gentlemen.

  When it began to get dark, Mam lit the candles and we all chatted, with Winnie in my arms, and Anne cuddled up on Nellie’s lap. After a while I noticed that Winnie had stopped twiddling my hair.

  ‘Is she asleep,’ I whispered to Jimmy who was on the stool beside us.

  ‘Sound asleep,’ he said.

  I loved holding her, but soon my arms began to go numb from the weight of my little sister.

  ‘I think it might be time for bed,’ said Mam when she saw how uncomfortable I was.

  She was right, but now I felt embarrassed. I knew Nellie had once lived in a workhouse, but that was ages ago. Nowadays she was used to the luxury of the servants’ quarters at Lissadell. She was used to a bed­room with a fireplace and a gas light. She was used to a bed all to herself.

  What was she going to say when she saw how my family slept?

  Would she laugh when she saw that I had to share a bed with all of my brothers and sisters?

  And where on earth was she going to sleep?

  Why hadn’t I thought about all of this before I invited her to stay?

  But I should have known that I could trust Mam to make everything work. As soon as Nellie and I had carried Winnie and Anne into bed, and kissed them good night, Mam chased the boys to bed too and tucked them in. Then she gave a big yawn. ‘You know, I’m so tired I think I’ll sleep in here with the children,’ she said. ‘Move over there and make room for your mam.’

  They did as they were told, and Mam climbed in beside them, pulling the blankets over her.

  ‘Lily, why don’t you and Nellie sleep in my bed?’ she asked.

  ‘Are you sure?’ said Nellie to Mam. ‘I don’t want to put you out. I can easily sleep on the floor with my coat over me. I don’t mind at––’

  Instead of answering, Mam gave a big loud snore. I giggled. I know Mam so well, and understood that she was pretending, but Nellie didn’t notice.

  ‘Your poor mam must be very tired,’ she whispered. ‘Let’s go to bed so we don’t disturb her any more.’

  So I led the way to Mam’s bed in the kitchen, and my friend and I settled down for the night.

  * * *

  In the morning, as it was Sunday, we had milk in our porridge. After breakfast, Mam tidied up, while Nellie and I played with the little girls.

  ‘You should go and see Rose,’ said Mam as she dried her hands. ‘She’ll be home with her family for the day.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘I don’t know. Maybe she …’

  I wasn’t sure what to do. Rose was one of my best friends from school. Now she worked in her uncle’s shop in Sligo, and only came home on Sundays, while I was usually only at home on Saturdays – so I hadn’t seen her for many months. Our lives were so different these days.

  What would we say to each other?

  Would we still be friends?

  What would she think of Nellie?

  What would Nellie think of her?

  ‘Rose!’ said Nellie then. ‘Your friend Rose is at home? You’ve told me so much about her, Lily, I’d love to meet her.’

  Mam laughed. ‘I think that’s decided then,’ she said. ‘Off you go, and I’ll see you soon.’

  The short walk to Rose’s house took a long time as everyone stopped to say hello, and to be introduced to my friend from Lissadell. Ours was a quiet vil­lage and a new person always stood out. Mrs Carty wanted to touch Nellie’s ‘glorious red hair’, and Old William said we could go and see his goats later if we wanted.

  ‘Everyone here is so nice and friendly,’ said Nellie.

  ‘I suppose they are,’ I said. She was right, except I’d never noticed before. Home is home, and I’d never thought about it very much.

  I felt nervous when I got to Rose’s house. Should I knock on the door, or just let myself in, the way I used to when we were school-friends? In the end I didn’t have to make a decision, as Rose looked out the window and saw us.

  A second later she was holding my hand, and talk­ing at a hundred miles an hour.

  ‘Slow down,’ I said laughing. ‘I know we’ve got months to catch up on, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.’

  Then Rose saw Nellie.

  ‘I’m Rose,’ she said, holding out her hand.

  ‘Nellie,’ said Nellie a little shyly.

  They smiled at each other and I knew I shouldn’t have worried.

  The three of us walked through the fields until dinnertime. Rose talked about her job in Sligo, and Nellie and I talked about Lissadell, and we laughed a lot, and everything was lovely.

  * * *

  Much too soon it was time for Nellie and me to start our walk back to Lissadell. Nellie thanked Mam a hundred times, making her laugh.

  ‘It was lovely to meet you,’ Nellie,’ she said. ‘And I know you don’t usually get Saturdays off, but when you do, please come and see us again.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ said Nellie shyl
y.

  Winnie and Anne clung on to both of us, begging for kisses and hugs. Mam gave me a warm goodbye hug, and then gave Nellie one too. I didn’t mind – I’m used to sharing my mam, and I know she’s got enough love for all of us – and Nellie too.

  * * *

  As we walked, Nellie was very quiet – even quieter than usual. Maybe she hadn’t liked my home, or my mam or my brothers and sisters? Maybe she was sorry she hadn’t stayed at Lissadell reading and doing her jobs?

  ‘Is everything all right, Nellie?’ I asked.

  She nodded, but didn’t answer.

  ‘Are you cross because Denis and Jimmy laughed at you over the conkers? Or did Winnie and Anne annoy you with all their questions and chatter? Did Mam say something that offended you?’

  Now she shook her head and began to walk a little faster.

  ‘Oh, Nellie,’ I said. ‘Why won’t you talk to me? What’s wrong? Please tell me what’s wrong.’

  At last she stopped walking. ‘Everything is fine,’ she said. ‘Everyone in your family is lovely, and they were very kind to me. I’m a bit tired is all that’s wrong. You kicked me a lot in the night, so I didn’t sleep very well.’

  ‘I’m so glad that’s the only thing – and I’m sorry about the kicking. I’m not used to sharing a bed any­more.’

  ‘That’s all right,’ she said. ‘Now let’s get going. The Gore-Booths are back tomorrow and we will have an early start getting ready for them.

  * * *

  A cramp in my leg woke me in the middle of the night. As I stretched it out, the way my Granny once showed me, I heard a small noise from Nellie’s bed.

  ‘Nellie?’ I whispered. ‘Are you awake?’

  She didn’t answer, so I told myself I’d imagined it as I rubbed my sore leg, and tried to get back to sleep.

  Then the sound came again, and this time I under­stood what it was. It was the sound of someone trying to cry without being heard.