Sister Switch

by Beth Garrod

  I gave Dad, then Erin, a massive smile. ‘That would be excellent. Thanks, Dad. I thought after all the stress with Frankie, as well as all the really, really hard work Lily’s been putting in to her brilliant blog, I’d go all out this year.’ I pinched my sister’s cheek. ‘Expect something really special, sis.’

  Like some new wheels for my skateboard. Ooooh, yeah. Or maybe some new nail varnish for prom? Or even just seeing how much pick ’n’ mix twenty pounds could buy. Or crisps. A room full of BBQ beef crisps.

  ‘Awesomeio,’ Erin replied through gritted teeth. But what were savings if not to have your sister spend them on her own birthday present? ‘And in return expect me to do another enthralling post about it.’ She shrugged. ‘Maybe even a celebratory dance video with Micha.’ She waved her arms around as if that was as good as we got.

  ‘That’s the spirit, Lil!’ Dad did a little shimmy. ‘And if you want to sprinkle in some circus skills for your next video, I’m sure I can rustle something up.’ He opened up Street View on his phone to show me the building where he was going. There were actual trapezes outside it. ‘Doesn’t it look great? I could be the new sensation!’ Yes, Dad in Lycra hula-hooping on the internet might actually break it, but not in a good way. ‘What d’ya say?’

  The sheer horror on my sister’s (well, my) face made Dad stop talking and slowly walk backwards out of the room. She then chewed her toast in a particularly annoyed way, as I dealt with a quick-fire interrogation from Mum about whether I’d filled in the forms to apply for Chinyere Okafor’s Drama Academy programme and if I’d researched the scholarships. I said yes to everything, as I knew Erin would be on it. But all the talk about acting put me off my cereal (well, the second bowl anyway). The opening night of the play was a week on Saturday, and it was being filmed for Erin’s audition tape. We had to find Agatha. But Mum hadn’t clocked that I’d sunk into a pit of despair and made us pose for a photo to show Grandma what a ‘corner Lily had turned’. (I noticed Mum positioned us cleverly so Grandmoan couldn’t see her eldest granddaughter had turned in the opposite direction.)

  Once that was done Erin and I finally escaped off to school. My sister might have been even more rattled by the audition talk than me, as the whole walk she made me practise my lines. She said it was for ‘constructive feedback’ which really meant ‘telling me I’m making a mess of them but in a way where I can’t say anything and, worse, have to appear genuinely grateful’. But when I managed to reel them all off, Erin was impressed – as was I. I’d showered so quickly that ninety-nine per cent of my scribble had stayed on my wrist! Result! (For the play. Less good for my armpits.)

  As soon as we got to school I headed straight to the computer room – and because I was in Erin’s body not one person gave me a funny look for being such a keeno. I jumped on a computer but Google didn’t have much in the way of ‘how to swap bodies with my sister’ and I’d already searched a thousand times for ‘Agatha Hairy Godmother’. Still, I couldn’t help but type it in again. Nothing. Although Dad had given me an idea – there was one thing I hadn’t checked…

  I went to Street View to see how Agatha’s shop used to look. Maybe I could get clues about when or why she’d popped up there? But in the image that came up neither The Hairy Godmother nor the dog yoga place had opened and the photo looked old… four years old to be exact, as there was a poster outside the café advertising Chase Cheney’s first album. I moved the camera round, but there was nothing out of the ordinary – just the exact same thing we saw on Tuesday evening: an empty, dusty shop, boxes scattered round the room. The old lady was right, it must have been abandoned for years. Which made no sense.

  Although… my heart jumped.

  Was I seeing this right?

  I leant forward and zoomed in on Agatha’s shop. Hanging on the walls, just like on Tuesday, were the old pictures in frames. But in the middle of all the black frames was a gold one.

  And in that frame was…

  I gulped so loudly the student teacher on duty shushed me.

  It was the picture of me and Erin that Mum had taken! The photo from this morning!

  Woooooah.

  I rubbed my eyes and looked down at the keyboard in case I was having a hallucination. But when I looked back up, the picture was still there!

  This wasn’t just fishy, this was a whole ocean of marine life!

  And it meant that whatever was going on, Agatha did want us to find her! That picture was a message to us!

  ‘Yessssss!’ I accidentally said out loud, causing the student teacher to do an extra-long shush.

  But who cared! I knew it! Despite what Erin thought, I was right! The Hairy Godmother did want us to track her down.

  And even better, I had a lead.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I couldn’t wait to tell Erin the news, but decided to hold off till I could do it in person at lunch and fully enjoy her reaction to me being right.

  It wasn’t even nine a.m. and I was smashing today!

  My heart raced.

  Maybe this was the moment where everything started going right for me?

  Maybe my latest post would do so well it really would impress Nic?

  Maybe today really would be the day Erin and I swapped back!

  Taking a deep breath, I refreshed my blog and scanned down.

  OMG… a hundred comments!!

  Unreal!

  Oh… no. The counter actually said 000, but there was a bit of crisp on the screen at exactly the wrong place.

  Guess you couldn’t win them all. I’d just have to be content with today cementing me as a magical hairdresser detective. Triumphantly I headed to registration. Being first in the classroom almost felt weirder than seeing a photo of myself time-travel and appear on the internet in the past.

  Micha: Can’t wait for tomorrow night!!!!! Bowling is right up my alley

  Ha ha ha, I loved her.

  Micha: I’m going to request all the Chase tuuuuuunesss

  Me: Got to hope the speakers don’t go on strike

  ‘Hey, Erin.’ Lou from the play sat next to me. She saw my A Midsummer Night’s Dream book in my hand and smiled – she must have thought I was learning my lines, not hiding my phone. Erin and I had decided to sneak them into our lessons so I could message her whenever I felt a teacher was going to say ‘Erin what’s your take?’. In return I could remind my sister to stop answering every single question in mine.

  Lou leant over her desk. ‘Freaking out about this evening?’

  I wrinkled my nose. ‘I wouldn’t say freaking out… but if I happened to fall into a manhole, I’d be very okay with that.’

  She laughed. ‘Same, but we’ll get through it together. Honestly, I’m only doing this after seeing you in Sweeney Todd last year. You were awesome.’

  ‘Er, thanks.’ My main memory of it was the small child sitting next to me breathing like Darth Vader. And that they’d said snacks were available in the interval, but then only had cheese.

  ‘Yup, and that advice you gave me about “less expression sometimes being more” totally got me the part in this one. So…’ Lou was almost blushing. ‘I’ve been meaning to say a massive thanks.’

  I couldn’t help but smile, even though I wasn’t sure real Erin would express such a level of emotion. ‘No problem. Glad it helped—’

  I broke off as something hit me on the arm. Someone’s bag as they walked past to put an assignment on the front desk.

  ‘Sorry…’ they started to say, but as they did, we both did a double take. It was Nic. She stopped. ‘Ohhh… Erin. I was hoping to see you.’ She took off her jacket. ‘Well, your sister actually.’ Oh riilllllly. I crossed my fingers under the desk. ‘I asked Frankie to keep an eye out for her but she said Lily hadn’t been around much.’ As if Frankie would do anything to help me out.

  ‘Ah yes,’ I tried to look as serious and believable as I could. ‘I think Lily’s just got some very important things on. That’s Lily all over, you know. Always very busy wi
th… er… very important things.’ I shook my head and muttered, ‘So impressive.’ Lou was definitely giving me a strange look.

  ‘Wow, that’s cool of you to say. I figured you guys were like me and my sister.’ Nic laughed. ‘She can be an absolute nightmare.’

  I tried to pretend this wasn’t the most unsurprising thing I’d ever heard.

  ‘No… Who would have thought?’ Answer: me, me, me. ‘Anyway, is the Lily thing anything I can help with?’

  ‘Maybe.’ Nic shrugged. ‘I’ve really been liking her posts this week –’ Whaaaat?! – ‘so was going to see if she would still be up for trying out for the TheNicReport.’ Yes, she would! ‘We’re getting the three writers we like most to share ideas at the next editorial meeting.’

  Thank goodness I was sitting down. I’d gone dizzy.

  TheNicReport’s editorial meetings were legendary. All Nic’s team got together and went through pitches and their own ideas – and she wanted me to send some of mine in?! To maybe get a place on her team?!

  Even Erin’s abnormally large brain that I was brain-sitting couldn’t cope with news this good!

  I’d saved my chance with Nic! And Erin couldn’t mess it up again, as I could send in my ideas from the safety of my laptop at home.

  Woohoo!

  Fingers clicked in front of my eyes, snapping me back to reality.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Lou looked concerned. ‘It was like your screen had frozen. Although by screen I mean… your face.’

  The Nic news was so big it must have caused a temporary facial malfunction.

  ‘Fine, thanks, Lou.’ I tried to smile. See, the Mavers sisters could be normal! Sometimes. ‘And, Nic, I think that’s a great idea. Lil will definitely say yes. I’ll pass it on immediately.’ Nic smiled. She smiled! ‘So if you see her you won’t even need to mention it. Or even talk to her at all!’

  But Nic had stopped listening, already opening up her phone calendar. ‘Great. The meeting is the tenth.’ Next Wednesday. Less than a week to come up with my best ever ideas. ‘Can you ask your sister to confirm she’s coming? She can DM me.’ Nic picked up her bag. ‘Oh, and tell her it’s at mine.’

  Wait.

  WHAT?!

  AT NIC’S?! So this wasn’t happening via the medium of email?! I could not let my sister loose in the actual home of Frankie and Nic. School was bad enough! But their inner sanctum?! With their dad-mum who might recognize me?!

  But… I also could not not let her go!

  By the time I’d gathered myself to reply, Nic had gone. And Mrs Richardson had walked in. We all stood up.

  ‘Bonjour tout le monde! Asseyez-vous!’ I’d have had a much better idea what was she was saying if I studied French, not German. But seeing as everyone sat down, I did too, and tried to mouth along with whatever noises they were making.

  As Mrs Richardson conjugated verbs as if it wasn’t the most boring thing imaginable (she even conjugated ‘to be bored’), I tuned out and tried to work out what Agatha was trying to tell us. I needed the swap to happen tonight so I could enjoy my birthday tomorrow, watch Micha on Sunday, get to the editorial meeting next week, and return Erin to her beloved play.

  ‘Erin.’ Uh-oh. Mrs Richardson was staring at me as if she wanted a reply. Which was particularly difficult as I didn’t know the question. Or speak the language. I mustered the only French I could remember.

  ‘Mais oui petit pois?’ A longshot answer considering it meant, ‘But yes, peas?’

  Mrs Richardson didn’t react. Lou however hissed, ‘She asked why are you being so quiet today.’

  ‘But yes, peas?’ might have been a slightly odd response, but for some reason it made Mrs Richardson want to converse even more, and she projected at least twenty seconds of pure sound at me. In desperation I dug out the last two French words I knew. ‘Jambon-beurre…’

  The room cracked up. Lou later told me she’d asked what career I wanted. Oh well, who didn’t want to be a ham sandwich when they grew up?

  Being Erin sucked, but the thought of seeing Micha at lunch kept me going. I practically ran to the meeting place and when I got there Micha was already waiting! Yes! Although where was my sister? She was never late and I couldn’t wait to tell her my big discovery.

  Micha gave me a big smiley wave. She always was much nicer to my sister than I was.

  ‘Micha.’ I pulled myself up on the wall next to her. ‘I can’t tell you how good it is to see you!’

  Mich grinned. ‘You too.’ (Proof my best friend was an excellent exaggerator.) She opened her lunch bag up. Instinctively I popped open my lunchbox too. We always opened them at the same time, showed each other what we had and scored them out of ten.

  ‘Obvs your jollof rice is a straight ten.’ I was always so jealous when she brought in her leftovers. ‘But my pasta salad is a solid seven, and the Penguin and Skips combo surely elevate it to a nine, right?’

  Mich stared at me. I realized too late this was not normal behaviour for my sister.

  ‘Er, yes. Nice choices, Erin,’ Micha said politely. Ouch. I hadn’t thought how hard not being my normal self around her would be. ‘So er… how are rehearsals going? Lily said it was really full on.’ I’d been messaging Micha about it last night.

  ‘Uhhmmmwwaffnne,’ I said, strategically chewing to avoid putting my foot, or rather Erin’s foot, in it further.

  ‘Have your er… feet got any better?’ Ah yes. I’d forgotten I’d entertained myself by telling Micha my big sister was freaking out about discovering she had incredibly hairy toes. But surely in among all the disasters I was allowed to have some fun? What Erin didn’t know could never hurt her.

  ‘Why thank you, yes, I think I have them… well brushed.’ But Erin’s toes could wait. I wanted to make the most of my time with Micha. ‘And what about you? What news?’ I nudged Micha in the ribs as if that would somehow unlock the chat she’d normally have with me.

  ‘Missing Lily.’ Her words hit me like a punch. I missed her too. ‘All the chores from your parents plus Mrs Saddler breathing down her neck have really wiped her out.’ She sipped her Capri-Sun. ‘Still, bowling tomorrow will be awesome. And then Saturday too.’

  Saturday?! I stopped mid-chew. How had I forgotten?! The two of us were meant to be meeting after her football practice to spend the afternoon in town getting fifty-pence chips, picking up some new football socks for Micha’s tournament on Sunday and shopping for a prom outfit. And then… oh no. My stomach flipped a full 360. We were meant to be having a birthday sleepover at Micha’s too! We’d been planning it for weeks. But if we weren’t back in the right bodies, there was no way my sister could spend the day, and night, with Micha. It would be a disaster! By Sunday Micha might have decided to trade me in for a new best friend!

  How could I fix this?

  ‘You know, not to be a Debbie Downer, or an Erin… er… Erin Erm-This-Isn’t-Good-Newser but I’m –’ I searched around for an excuse – ‘er… not sure if there might be some extra rehearsals on Saturday.’ I nodded seriously. ‘A big one for backstage crew. That could go on into the evening.’ I took a dramatic forkful of pasta, although a piece of cucumber undermined me by falling on to my knee. ‘Maybe even… the night? All night.’

  But Micha didn’t look fazed.

  ‘Well, Lil can’t be involved – she said just now she was really looking forward to it.’ Did she?! Micha looked off into the distance, her voice dropping. ‘Although… when we were discussing prom, she did say going would mean missing the final of Celebrity Mastermind, which was… weird.’

  I was going to have to have serious words with my sister about what sentences should come out, and which shouldn’t pass mouth security control. I knew she thought prom was lame, but couldn’t she at least try? She could freak out our parents, make things even worse with Frankie, show off in front of the whole class, but whatever happened, she could not mess things up with Micha. Micha was as much a part of me as my thumb.

  ‘To be honest, Mich –’ I caught
myself – ‘a, between us, I think Lily is going through a weird patch. Y’know, with all the Frankie stuff and home things. So, er, stick with her.’ Well, this was awkward. ‘I know she thinks you’re her, y’know…’ I hoped this wouldn’t backfire. ‘Porcupine wife for life…’ Nope, I instantly regretted it. ‘Or something.’

  I stuffed some more pasta into my mouth. Micha smiled… but also looked as if she might be sitting on a drawing pin. My phone vibrated.

  Micha: Hurry up. NO offence but your sister is being weird

  I pretended to be fascinated by a passing pigeon, and with my hand down by my side, out of Micha’s view, I typed back with one thumb.

  Me: She’s always weird. Just go with it. Sending you VIBESSSS

  Although when I sneaked another look at my screen, my solo thumb work wasn’t as good as I’d hoped. I’d actually sent:

  Me: She’s always weird Josh GO WITHOUT. Sending you vibe sausage

  I instantly regretted comparing Micha to my thumb. Micha would never do to this me. No wonder she was staring at her phone in confusion.

  ‘Soooo…’ Time for a subject change. I could normally speak to Micha about anything, but now ninety-nine per cent of things were off limits. ‘Did you see Lily’s latest blog?’

  Micha munched a large crisp and smiled (well, she actually jumped a bit at the extra loud crunch and then smiled). ‘Straight ten out of ten. I wish she’d believe me when I tell her how good she is.’

  The urge to hug her was so strong I had to sit on my hands.

  ‘Totally agree. I know most people here talk about my grades, and my quiz team, and being put up a year, and my acting, but I truly think she’s the talented sibling.’

  My phone buzzed again.

  Micha: you better be running

  Urgent subject change needed. Again. But what? I wanted to know how things really were with Micha. If her chemistry grades had picked up, or if her parents had got a whiff she might be moved down a set. How she was feeling about the scouts on Sunday. About keeping her football dreams alive. But there was no way Erin should know any of that.