by Dale Mayer
“No, I’m good.” Sandra said. “Go.”
Jenna waved her away.
She grabbed her sweater and headed to the dining hall. She stood there for a long moment, studying everyone, but there was no sign of Elliot. She headed back to his room, but the door was closed, and she didn’t know what to do. She pulled out her phone and sent a text. I was late this morning. Are we still doing coffee?
She walked the hallway for a few minutes, then returned to the dining room, waiting for a response. When she didn’t get one and saw no sign of Elliot anywhere, she headed to the pool to see if he happened to be there. Again, nothing. Feeling out of sorts, she realized there could be any number of reasons why he hadn’t shown up. She hoped it was because he slept.
She headed to her own room, feeling disappointed. She hadn’t had breakfast, and she’d missed out on the coffee. It felt like she’d missed something special. Her apartment felt cramped and closed in. She wasn’t tired enough to go to bed, so she slumped on the couch and groaned. “Now what the hell will I do?”
She had some running around to do in town, then realized sitting here wouldn’t give her any answers. She couldn’t get in contact with Elliot, so the best thing she could do was get something else done. With that, she changed out of her uniform into a T-shirt and jeans, grabbed her keys and wallet and headed out.
In town, she realized she hadn’t asked Dani about the hot tub. She finished up her shopping, stopping to get a coffee shop muffin and coffee, and headed back to Hathaway. She checked the time. It was almost eleven. If she went to bed, she might miss Dani.
She walked to Dani’s office. Thankfully she was in, so Sicily waited in the doorway for Dani to notice her. When she lifted her head, Sicily stepped in.
“There you are,” Dani said. “That was an interesting email you left me.”
Sicily nodded. “I don’t know if there is any room in the budget for something like that, but since we were talking about it, I wanted to do the research and see if it was even a possibility.”
“It’s a heck of a good idea,” Dani said with a pleasant smile. “I’ll give her a call this afternoon. Of course no decisions on budget until we know more.”
“Right. That makes sense.” Sicily shifted her weight on her feet. “Did you get an email from Elliot?”
Dani nodded. “Something about wanting to use the hot tub at night.” She frowned. “He’s still having problems sleeping, isn’t he?”
Sicily nodded. “Yes, he is. He’s awake most of the night. I stop in and talk to him on a regular basis to see how he’s doing. He’s tried some sleep aids, but they did more harm than good, so he’s gotten off of them. We’re looking into other avenues to help him sleep. Massages and the hot tub were some things he suggested.”
Dani frowned and nodded. “Massages need work to reschedule. The hot tub …”
“If I took him down and let him have, say, forty minutes, I could stay there and do my paperwork and then bring him back up. That way, he wouldn’t be alone or unsupervised.”
“No, of course not.” Dani studied Sicily with a curious gaze. “Would you go in the hot tub with him?”
Sicily chuckled. “Elliot suggested it.” She shook her head. “But I would consider that very unprofessional. I’m on shift, and I have a lot of other patients. I don’t see how he can go in the hot tub without supervision. It’s not open at that hour of the night, but if he is up, he’s often in a lot of pain with muscle spasms.”
“It’s the staffing issue that I’m worried about. If you’re at the hot tub with him, then you won’t be looking in on the other patients. So you’ll coordinate with the other nurse, and they must know where you are at all times in case something arose.”
“Agreed. But I also get a half-hour break. So in theory, I could take that break to bring him to the hot tub.”
Dani tapped her pen on the table for a long moment. “Let me think about this. Lots of side issues could arise with something like this.”
“Not the least of which is other patients’ knowing.” Sicily nodded. “I do understand the problem.”
“Two orderlies are on night shift as well. Maybe one of them could work it into their schedule.”
“That would be great.” Sicily smiled. “Elliot might want me to be there, but I think it’s more important that he get the water relaxation.”
“Is there something developing between the two of you?”
Sicily started at the question. “I don’t know,” she said slowly. “Maybe?”
Dani gave a burst of laughter. “Well, that’s nice and decisive.”
Sicily chuckled. “It’s not an easy thing to answer. I spend a lot of time with him because he is awake at night. And definitely something is there. But as to what it is, I have no idea.”
“Let me think about it and get back to you later this afternoon.” Dani glanced at her watch. “You shouldn’t even be in here. You’re off shift.”
“Right. I went to town and did some errands, and then I normally go to bed, but I realized I’d miss you, and I wanted to discuss this first.”
Dani nodded. “You know you can contact me anytime in the evenings, right?”
Sicily was already in the doorway and nodded. “Understood. Like the rest of us, you try to keep your private life and work routine separate. I hate to cross that line. There will be times that I must, and I know I can. But if it’s something I can take care of during my work hours, then I will do so.”
“Much appreciated.”
“By the way, is Aaron coming back anytime soon?”
“He is at the vet school right now finishing his first term.” Then she grinned. “He should be back in a few days for a short break.”
“Well, good luck to him. That’s an awesome career.”
“I think so too. He’s excited. Stan is also, as he’s hoping to have Aaron come on board here.”
“The best of both worlds for you. The rest of us are figuring out how to make relationships work when some are at a serious crossroad in our lives.”
“I am a firm believer in Mother Nature and faith taking a hand. See how it plays out. Be true to yourself and true to him, and everything will work out.”
So why wasn’t she there? Elliot ran a hand through his hair, feeling at least one hundred years old. Since these nightmares had started, he’d struggled to get a handle on who and what he was. Now it looked like he couldn’t even manage a coffee date. Instantly a voice inside said anything could have happened and to not judge until he knew more. He’d been tossing her absence over and over in his mind for hours.
But in truth, why would she want to spend time with him?
“Good morning,” Shane said from the doorway. “How is our night owl?”
“Wishing he was sleeping,” Elliot retorted. He tried to keep the pain and that sense of defeat out of his voice but knew he’d failed when Shane’s gaze sharpened.
Shane lifted his tablet and tapped on the surface a couple times.
“Great. Telling the rest of the team that I’m still suffering?”
“The team already knows. What we don’t know is how to make you sleep. I was hoping a workout and a massage would give you a few hours.”
Elliot brightened. “That would be great. I did send an email to Dani asking if it was possible to get more massages and to use the hot tub when I wake up in the night.”
“I’ll speak to the doctor about that,” Shane replied. “I want you on muscle relaxants too. The last thing we want is for you to finally fall completely asleep only to be woken up by muscle cramps. But also, you cannot be swimming or in the hot tub while taking the relaxants. Not without somebody with you at all times.”
As Elliot watched, Shane clicked away on his tablet. He looked around his room as he waited for Shane to finish. “I’m not even dressed for a workout.”
“Do it now then,” Shane said, lifting his head to look at Elliot. “Meet me in the big room in about ten minutes, okay?”
Ellio
t nodded. But that was the last thing he wanted. All he wanted to do was lie here until his body went back to sleep again. It was like he’d been awake for weeks. His eyes burned like sandpaper. He dragged himself off the bed to get changed. When he was done, he collapsed into the wheelchair and said out loud, “Sorry, but I’m wheeling down to the therapy room. I’m too damn tired for anything else. My back is throbbing.”
He wheeled himself to the appropriate room, parked his chair and waited for Shane to arrive. When there was no sign of him after a couple minutes, Elliot leaned his head back and drifted in and out of sleep, yet never quite got to where he’d like. He was no longer in danger here at Hathaway House—he wasn’t watching anybody else or worrying about being captured or fired on. He was safe, and he didn’t understand why his body wasn’t getting the message. He didn’t know how much longer he could go on like this.
He suspected that if he could resolve this situation, he’d fall asleep and stay under for a couple days. He needed to cross whatever fine line was stopping him. He’d had high hopes it would happen today, but instead his nights were still restless, and even when he started to doze, he became uneasy. Before sleep claimed him, he’d jolt awake as if knowing that as soon as he slept, the nightmares would come.
Maybe what he needed was an answer for the nightmares, not for the lack of sleep. That would take him back to his therapist again. He picked up his tablet and jotted down a few notes to bring up with her.
Shane walked in at that moment, his gaze critical as he studied Elliot. “I’d hoped we would get a full workout from you today, but it looks like that’s not happening.”
For some reason, that brought Elliot’s competitive spirit to the surface. He shook his head at Shane. “I’m not that bad. You’ve got plans? Bring it on. As long as you promise a massage afterward, I’m willing to go the distance.”
Shane chuckled and rubbed his hands together. “In that case, let’s go. Remember your words because you’ll regret saying them.”
And the physical therapy session started.
Chapter 8
Several days later Sicily worked quietly, writing up notes from the long shift she was about to complete. She looked up to see Dani walking toward her with two mugs of coffee.
“Not sure if you wanted coffee or if you’re ready to hit the sack,” Dani said with a smile. “I understand it was a tough night.”
Sicily nodded and leaned back in her chair. She motioned to the coffee. “That won’t stop me from sleeping. Plus I need to unwind for a bit. It’s pretty hard coming off a shift and going straight to sleep.”
Dani settled down in the chair across from her. “I wanted to tell you that we are bringing in the horse therapist next week for one afternoon. I’d like a list of how many patients you think would benefit from this. Therapy sessions will run for approximately one hour each, and in some cases, perhaps less. A lot of different muscles will be used. The therapist wants an idea of which patients we’re looking at having her work with, and she needs to know about some of their injuries, so she can make adaptations to her program.”
Sicily brightened. “Oh, that’s great news. We can certainly put Elliot on the list, but I have several others who would like the opportunity.”
“Good, get five who you think are ready and talk with them to see if they’re interested. If they are, we will make that happen next week. If it’s a good session, we can try again the next week. I’m certainly not promising to do this on a weekly basis, but maybe every couple months we can bring her in for a program of a few consecutive weeks.” She got back to her feet. “Sandra should be here any moment. After that, you can crash. You’re looking a little peaked.”
Sicily looked at her empty coffee cup. A little peaked? She was exhausted. She’d had to call two separate doctors for patients during the night. She could go weeks without having to call anyone, but last night hadn’t been an easy night. But that was what she was here for.
Sandra walked in with a bright, cheerful smile on her face, which made Sicily feel like she was seventy years old and ready for retirement.
“Hey, how you are doing?”
Sicily shook her head. “Now that I’m off shift, I’m much better.” She glanced at her clock to double-check the time. She still needed to go over the night’s events, but she sure wasn’t looking to do much more than that.
Sandra sat down beside her. “Sorry, I’m running a bit late myself this morning. Let’s go over what we need to, and you can go to bed.”
Sicily went through her notes, spending extra time going over the two patients who had required extra care during the night. “When the doctors come in for rounds, can you make sure you get clear direction as to what they want to do moving forward.”
Sandra nodded. She wrote out several notes for herself on a scratch pad. They updated the files on the patients, and then Sicily stood.
“I’m so done.”
Sandra waved her off. “Go have something to eat. It will you make you feel a ton better.”
With her empty coffee cup in hand, Sicily walked toward the dining hall and out onto the sunny deck. Sandra’s idea wasn’t half bad. The next time Sicily saw Elliot, she’d apologize for missing their coffee date. Whenever she’d seen him recently, he had seemed normal, but they never spoke about the missed connection. But neither had they tried to make another coffee date. Maybe they both had their feelings hurt. Past time to discuss it then, to try again. Today was not a good day for either though. She was too damned tired and wanted to go to bed.
As she walked toward the stairs, she heard his voice. She turned to see Elliot sitting at a table on the far side of the deck. Instantly her spirits brightened. She changed direction and walked toward him. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I’m often here in the mornings,” he responded quietly. “Most of the time hoping to see you before you go home.”
That startled a laugh from her. She pulled out a chair and sat down, a little more heavily than she intended. “Sometimes I’m perfectly fine to have coffee. Then other times, like right now, I feel like I’ll barely make it to my apartment and crash.” She could feel the intensity of his gaze, but there was no criticism.
Then he asked, “Is that why you didn’t meet me here the other morning?”
She shook her head. “I was caught up with work. I couldn’t leave when I needed to, and when I came here, there was no sign of you. I sent you a text. I figured you’d either gotten tired of waiting or had fallen asleep.”
“That figures. But you’re here now, so maybe you’re not too tired to have a cup of coffee with me?”
He asked the question so hopefully she propped her chin up on her hands and placed her elbows on the table. “As long as you don’t require scintillating conversation because I warn you, I might fall asleep.”
He chuckled. “I know the value of sleep, so I wouldn’t wake you.”
“When I checked on you last night, you were sleeping,” she said. “Not sure what brought on the change, but it sounds like it’s working.”
“Meditation and yoga and muscle relaxants.” He winced. “I’m still not entirely convinced, but it seems to be working out okay. I certainly can’t do three-quarters of the yoga moves they show on the videos, but something about the breathing exercises and stretches seem to ease up the muscle cramps.”
“And the nightmares?” she prompted.
She watched as his gaze dropped to the table then he smiled. “I can say they’re better as they don’t appear to be as intense.”
“Oh, that’s a good thing then.”
He nodded. “That’s what I was thinking.”
“By the way, I spoke with Dani, and we have a horse therapist coming next week for one afternoon session. It would be a good idea for you. It would help you sit longer, and of course, work on the damaged back muscles.”
“I don’t remember any such discussion.” He stared at her with a look akin to dread. Then he gave a hard shake of his head. “Nic
e idea, wrong patient.”
Her jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
He nodded.
“I set it up for you.” Then she bit her lip and hastily corrected her words as he’d been falling asleep at the time she spoke to him, so maybe he didn’t remember. “I set it up with you in mind.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Then I guess you should’ve asked first,” he said, his voice hard.
She settled back, stunned. After all the work she’d put into it and finally getting Dani’s approval, here was the one patient she had done it for. But not only was he disinterested but he appeared to be completely against the entire concept. “Why?”
He stared moodily out at the pasture. “Because horses belong behind fences,” he said finally.
She sat and stared. She hadn’t considered he might be afraid of horses. Certainly a lot of people were. But it never occurred to her that a big bad best-of-the-best military guy would be one of those. It made her pause. As much as she might know he was afraid, she didn’t want to force him to admit it. His self-confidence was very important to the healing process. She leaned forward. “Do me one favor and don’t be completely against it. Keep an open mind.”
Elliot half snorted. “My mind is open. It’s not for me.”
She stood and put down her coffee cup. “Okay, I’m heading to bed. But of all the things I would like for you to do, the topmost is to consider the prospect. It would be hugely helpful for your back.” She gave him a smile and turned and walked away. She couldn’t deal with it now. She was too tired and her mind too foggy to wrap itself around the fact he was completely against horse therapy. It was so disappointing. She thought he’d love the idea, but instead …
Elliot watched her walk away. How could she have done something like that for him without discussing it with him first? He’d been very good at hiding how he felt about horses. He was okay with dogs and cats or any small animals. Horses were a different case altogether. He’d gone riding as a young boy and had a bad accident. His first time on a horse and his last. As a SEAL in the military, he was supposed be good at everything, strong and brave and able to face all kinds of trauma. Yet here he was, terrified to get back on a horse. He had been here weeks, and it had never been an issue. They hadn’t had horse therapy before—not until Sicily got it into her mind he needed it in order to get better.