Low Sided

by A. J. Downey

  Things were pretty much handled around here, so I went over to the main house and let myself in to the kitchen to see if Vyking would let me borrow his truck.

  “Hey, whoa, how’s it going?” he asked when we nearly crashed into each other.

  “Good, good, man.”

  “You need something?” he asked.

  “Uh, yeah. I was gonna ask to borrow your truck,” I said, blowing into my chilled hands.

  “Aw, yeah? What for?”

  “Was gonna run up into the Phinney Ridge and Fremont areas. That girl I’m trying to see had to clear out of her place in a hurry and she left some stuff. Was going to see if her old roomies had any of it and if so, reclaim it.”

  “Ah-huh.” He looked at me over his glasses and asked, “She know about this master plan of yours?”

  I chewed my bottom lip and shook my head, sniffed and said, “No, man, there are some serious complications surrounding everything. I don’t think she left her roomies on bad terms but she did leave suddenly and with only what she could carry.”

  He scowled. “What’s she into?”

  “Nothing that can get your truck fucked up,” I said. “Scout’s honor.”

  He grunted and nodded, fishing the keys out of his hip pocket.

  “Good luck, son.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  I caught the keys he tossed at me out of midair and ducked back out into the damp winter cold.

  The drive to Raven’s old neighborhood was sort of stressful through the tunnel. Fuckin’ yuppie tech sector scum around here didn’t know how to fuckin’ drive! Made me glad I was in Vyking’s truck and that I wasn’t on my bike. I would have ended up back in fuckin’ prison for the same damn thing I’d gone up for in the first place.

  The streets in this part of the outer edge of the city were tight, and parking was a fucking joke, but I found something a few doors down that would be serviceable if I hurried my ass the fuck up.

  I got out the truck, shrugged into my cut and went down the cracked sidewalk and stopped in front of the place. It was a two story and clean on the outside, the small yard more of a vegetable garden than anything else. Boy was I out of place in this type of hood. I let myself in the low front gate of the white picket fence and went up onto the big wrap-around porch. The front door opened before I got halfway up the steps painted a brick red.

  “Can I help you?” The man was skinny, probably vegan, and the woman that peered around him was tiny and just as granola.

  “I’m a friend of Raven’s,” I said. “I was hoping to talk to you.”

  “Oh, my God! Is she okay?” The woman darted around the man in front who tried to keep her back.

  “She’s okay,” I said, nodding.

  “Where is she?” the little girl demanded.

  I shook my head. “I’m not about all that,” I said. The man frowned.

  “She doesn’t know you’re here.”

  I shook my head. “No. She did me a solid close to a month back and I’m trying to get a handle on her situation. Can we sit out here and talk?”

  The pair exchanged a worried look and finally, the guy raked his hands back through his long hair and settled his hands on top of his head, letting out an explosive breath.

  “Sure,” he relented, and the girl gestured at me to have a seat. We migrated away from the front door and they both took a seat on the porch swing while I settled on the low wall railing thing.

  “Where is she?” the girl asked and her face was pinched.

  I said, “First thing’s first. I’m Mace.”

  “Angelica,” she said.

  “Robert,” the guy said, and I shook the man’s hand.

  “I can’t answer your question, exactly. She’s hiding.”

  “Son of a bitch,” the dude muttered.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “She went on a date with some guy,” Angelica said. “She came back way late. Her clothes were ripped, and she wouldn’t talk about it.”

  “Then a couple weeks later, we were at the park,” Robert said.

  “Fire practice,” Angelica said.

  “Some cops came, arrested her.”

  “We couldn’t find her. We called everywhere. It was late.” Her voice was laden with something like guilt.

  “When the rest of the Burners left, they found her out by the street.”

  “She was beaten really bad. They brought her here. She wouldn’t let us take her to the hospital. Some of the Burner medics helped us do what we could.”

  “As soon as she was able, she left. We found her phone smashed on her bedroom floor, some of her clothes gone, but that was it,” Robert said.

  “She never came back…” Angelica looked hurt.

  I shook my head.

  “She couldn’t,” I told them.

  “She’s safe?” Robert asked.

  “Yeah, she’s about to get safer if I can help it,” I said.

  “She’s a really good person, private though. Please tell me we didn’t make a huge mistake telling you any of this.” Angelica looked up at me and I pulled my proof out of my pocket, an envelope with my name on it in Raven’s writing. The letter I held in reserve and would only use it if I had to.

  She told me things, a lot of things, private things that I didn’t want to share. Some of it skirted the big bad that haunted her. I was still trying to fill in the gaps.

  “That’s your name, and that’s her writing,” Robert confirmed, looking over Angelica’s shoulder.

  Angelica sniffed and tossed her dyed black dreads over her shoulder. She looked up at me, face pale, blue eyes glittering with tears as she handed me back the envelope. I cued up the video Sauley had taken of Raven reading one of my letters on my phone and handed that to Angelica. She covered her mouth with her hand and bit back a sound, starting to cry, studying every nuanced expression of Raven’s face as I had probably a thousand times before.

  “You uh, happen to keep any of her stuff?” I asked, taking my phone back while Robert hugged what I presumed was his girlfriend.

  “Yeah, we uh kept all of it. Boxed it all up in totes and put it in the basement.”

  “I brought my truck; you trust me to take it to her?”

  They exchanged a look. “Can we go with you?” Angelica asked.

  I shook my head. “You want to write her a letter or something, I’ll make sure she gets it.”

  “What happened to her?” Robert demanded and the fury in his dark eyes was one I harbored myself.

  “That date didn’t go well,” I said. “I think you already know that. As far as the rest of it, Raven was right to get the fuck out of here. The less you know, the better off you are, but hey; I’m going to get it taken care of,” I vowed.

  “How are you—” Robert gripped Angelica’s shoulder, and she looked up at him. He looked down at her and shook his head. Smart man.

  “Your man’s right. Best not to ask any more questions,” I said. “I can’t say more.”

  “I’ll give you a couple of totes of her favorite things,” Robert said. “If she wants the rest, she can come get them.”

  “Robert!” Angelica protested. “She left money to keep us going until we could find a new roommate. She doesn’t owe us anything,” Angelica argued.

  Robert gripped Angelica’s arm and towed her in the direction of the front door, and I shook my head. “See now, Bobby, that’s no way to treat your lady,” I said.

  “Robert,” he said affronted, and I raised my eyebrows.

  “Don’t give a fuck, let her go.”

  He dropped her arm immediately.

  “I’ll bring you Raven’s things,” Angelica said. “The stuff I can carry.”

  “Alright, thanks. I hear any problems, I’ll come and help,” I said, giving her a pointed look.

  Bobby, excuse me, Robert, slammed his way into the house like a petulant child.

  “Sorry, he’s usually not like this,” Angelica said. “He’s upset.”

  “A
man knows when and how to control himself,” I replied and yeah, I know, I needed to learn to take my own lessons to heart.

  In the end, I took two big totes – the things Angelica knew she had loved best and had left behind. The sentimental things. I could hear her and Bobby argue it out and I couldn’t fault him too much. He was worried. I gathered that clear enough.

  I was worried too, only difference was, I was fixing to do something about it. Of course, I couldn’t fault him on that either. Most citizens didn’t have the know-how to fix something like this, and if they did, they damn sure didn’t have the balls. I had both – in spades – and I would use them.

  I slid the first tote into the back of Vyking’s truck and turned. Bobby handed me the second one, and he’d earned points. For as upset as he was, he wouldn’t hear of making little Angelica carry the heavy thing up the block.

  He handed it to me, and I said, “Hey, I know you’re upset and pissed off, believe me, I get it… but stop and think a minute. If you showed up in front of Raven like this right now, would it be the best thing for her?”

  He stopped and thought about it as I slid the second tote into the truck. When I turned back, Angelica held out a note to me. I took it and tucked it into the inside pocket of my jacket.

  “We miss her,” she said and sighed, stuffing her hands back into her pockets.

  “Yeah.” Bobby nodded.

  “She did what she thought was best, bro, you gotta believe her on that.”

  “Yeah, well, a little low on trust.”

  “Aren’t we all, brother?” I asked him. He looked me over and nodded.

  “She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?” Angelica asked. I shook my head and they both sort of reeled.

  “How did you even know she lived here?” Robert asked, brow rumpling in confusion.

  “I got my ways,” I said, and he nodded.

  “Just tell her we send our love,” Angelica said, and I nodded.

  “That I will do,” I answered and put up the tailgate on the truck.

  Tonight, I would be picking her up from work.

  It was time for the big talk.

  12

  Raven…

  Sauley was standing outside again, his back to the door, waiting. I went to it, unlocked it, and said, “How many times do I have to tell you just—”

  Mace turned around and I couldn’t help myself; I yipped out a shout of glee and threw my arms around him. He caught me and grunted, and I immediately tried to pull away saying, “Sorry! Are you oka—” but I didn’t get to finish because his lips met mine.

  I froze, speechless, and just as quickly as he’d kissed me, it was over and he was leaning back to search my face.

  I blinked up at him stupidly for a second then brought my mouth to his, pressing my lips against his once more, timid yet intrepid. He kissed me back, slowly, an almost chaste kiss, his cold fingers brushing against my cheek as he cradled me with his other arm and I sighed out, pulling away slightly.

  He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine as the blood raced through my veins.

  I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold.

  “Come on, let’s get you inside,” he murmured and pulled back to smile at me.

  I nodded mutely, and he walked me backwards through the front door of the bar and into its warmth.

  “You good?” he asked, and God, I’d missed his voice.

  I closed my eyes and nodded. “I’m better than good,” I whispered and just soaked up his being here.

  “Finish up, babe. I’ll walk you home.”

  I smiled and comfortable, asked, “You spending the night?”

  “Absolutely,” he responded and let me go.

  I was tickled pink and almost felt normal again for the moment as I went to finish closing.

  He waited for me, and we kept trading looks and laughing at each other. Finally, the chores around the bar done, I called out to Manuk that I was leaving.

  “Aloha!” he called back, and he waved at Mace. Mace raised a hand back and pushed out the front door. I locked up behind us.

  Mace took my hand, and I smiled up at him. He grinned back and dipped his head, hesitating, making sure it was alright, and my smile only grew. I closed the gap and kissed him softly and he kissed me back. Still chaste, still no tongue, although I wouldn’t be opposed, I was still shy.

  “Come on,” he said, voice husky and breath pluming the early morning air. “Let’s get you home.”

  We walked briskly and when we arrived, there was his motorcycle parked at the curb. I blinked and said, “You rode here, in this?” He went to it and got a backpack out of one of the hard-sided cases on the side near the back tire.

  “I ride year-round,” he said as I unlocked the downstairs door.

  “That’s crazy,” I said. “It’s so cold and wet.”

  “That’s why they make cold weather gear and Gore-Tex,” he said. His eyes and smile were laughing at me even if there was no sound.

  I shook my head and held the door open, but he indicated I should go first. I slipped through and he made sure it was secure behind us, trailing me up the stairs to my apartment door. I let us in, and he stilled my hand on the last lock.

  “Pro tip, only lock one or two of these when you’re not home. It’s taking you too long to unlock them all to get inside. Once you’re in, definitely secure them all.”

  I stared at him for several heartbeats as what he’d told me sank in and then I felt stupid for a moment.

  “Of course,” I murmured. “Thank you.”

  He nodded and I let us in. No need to worry with him standing there, sheltering me.

  Mace was quite a bit more imposing sober and healed than he had been drunk or injured, only my comfort level with him hadn’t diminished in the slightest.

  He shut the door behind us and meticulously threw all the locks like I liked, turning and smiling at me as I stood in the middle of my tiny living room and watched him.

  “Why don’t you put some of your music on?” he asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, I like it.”

  I frowned and asked, “How do you even know what I like? I don’t remember ever telling you.”

  His grin grew, and he said, “You’re using my music account. It syncs across all the devices I have it logged into.”

  “Oh.” I scrunched my face in embarrassment. “Right.”

  “Go make us some of that tea?” he asked.

  “Only if you’ll make yourself comfortable,” I countered.

  “I’d planned on it.” He winked at me.

  I disappeared into my kitchen and set to making a pot of tea. Music filtered in from the television a few moments later and then I heard him go into my room.

  When I came back out, the water ticking in its kettle on the stove as it slowly heated, he had come out of my room, jacket and vest gone, his boots left behind too.

  “Hey,” I said lamely, softly, and he reached out, taking my hand in his to lead me to the couch. He sat down and practically drew me into his lap. I sat beside him and toed off my own boots which I hadn’t laced properly earlier for the aesthetic.

  I stiffened, and things got a bit awkward as he tried to move me, and I couldn’t quite anticipate what he wanted. Finally, I laughed somewhat nervously and just asked, “What do you want me to do?”

  “Turn around, put your back to me, and just lie back,” he said.

  “What, like with my head in your lap?”

  “Exactly. Only if you want. No pressure.” He held up his hands and the look in his eyes, says he meant it. It eased my nervousness and made it an easy choice. I lay back and put my head in his lap. He put a hand to the top of my head, smoothing some of my hair back from my forehead. I had it in a messy half-loop bun.

  “You ditched the wig,” he said.

  “It was getting sad,” I replied. “I was thinking about dying my hair.”

  His gaze drifted up from my eyes to my hair and he
grunted, an almost sound of disapproval, and said, “Please don’t.”

  I smiled and asked, “Why not?”

  “Because it’s beautiful – you’re beautiful, just the way you are.”

  I think my mouth went a little dry.

  “No one’s ever said that about me,” I whispered.

  “Fuckin’ idiots. All of them,” he said back, his eyebrows raised as though to dare me to argue.

  I loved the smoldering look in his liquid brown eyes and how it set my heart to racing. I smiled, reaching up to cup his lightly stubbled cheek, and he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch like there was no place he would rather be in the whole world right now.

  “I come with a lot of baggage,” I warned him softly, swallowing hard around the sudden lump in my throat.

  “Don’t we all?” he asked, opening his eyes. He stared down at me and slicked his fingertips along my hair and sent a tingling rush over my scalp. “You accepted me and my sordid past, baby. Not a lot of people would have helped me, let alone would have seen it through to the end the moment they found out I was an ex-con.”

  “There are a lot of people in prison for things they didn’t do,” I said.

  Before he let me finish, he shook his head and said, “But I did do—”

  “No, I know that,” I said. “What I was going to say, was there are even more in there that don’t deserve to be based on the circumstances… I know that you did it,” I said. “I also know that I would have done the same thing.”

  He smirked then and chuckled, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t have,” he said. “You’re too good for that.”

  I looked away. “I’m not,” I declared, knowing that if I could hurt or kill my rapist, I wouldn’t hesitate. I would hurt him, murder him, in a heartbeat. Not just for me, but for anyone else he had done this to. For anyone else that he was going to do this to in the future.

  I closed my eyes as the emotions welled up from the deepest, darkest parts of me and filled the space behind my eyelids.

  I trembled finely and covered my face with my hands, the trembling turning to quivering, and then to shaking.

  “Shhh, let it go,” Mace soothed and brushed a hand over my hair, and I did, because for the first time in a long time, I felt safe when not alone.