Teenage Mermaid

by Ellen Schreiber

  But today I sported blue spikes for a different reason, this time in celebration‌—in honor of the sea where we met. Because this morning was different. I awoke with a swelling of my being, that went beyond my usual swellings! It was a swelling of emotion, a connection to life I’d never felt before. I noticed the magnificence of the clouds as they rolled in from the ocean, the chirping of seagulls, the smell of the sea air. I felt a joy that went way beyond a hundred-thousand score on a Surf Slam 3000 video game, a DVD copy of Star Wars, or a year’s subscription to Wipeout.

  But most of all, I felt a connection to her, even though I didn’t know her name, and had never heard her voice. Was I obsessed or possessed? If Chainsaw caught wind of my innermost thoughts and feelings, he’d punch me out for sure. I wanted to give her flowers, buy her candy, serenade her underneath a balcony, write her poetry, carve her initials in a tree. It isn’t every day that someone breathes life into you. And her breath seemed purer than any I’d ever known.

  Eight-fifteen. I mashed my sweaty palms against my jeans. Eight thirty-two. I unraveled a stick of Wrigley’s. Eight forty-five. I kicked an empty Coke can. Nine o’clock. I leaned pessimistically against the goalpost.

  The bell rang, beckoning me to arrive on time for U.S. history. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and looked at the desolate field. Maybe my personal lifeguard was a late sleeper. Maybe my ad should have read 3:30 P.M. Maybe I was just a complete idiot.

  I waited until nine-fifteen, then I waited until nine-thirty. Gym class began running its way around the track. I sauntered up to the fifty-yard line and, dejected, made my way inside the building, late for first bell.

  I woke up on the shore, lying on my back facing the burning sun. I had to squint, the sun was so bright. I could tell by its position it was just after nine-thirty. Why wasn’t I in the water? Why wasn’t I in bed? Where was Bubbles? I felt parched to the bone, extremely thirsty. My palms were wet with water that seemed to come from my own hands. My hair was sticky with sand. I could smell the fishy sea air, and hear the sound of seagulls. I panicked. I couldn’t breathe. I must get back to the ocean! I felt like I was moving in slow motion, as if I were in a dream‌—this must just be a dream.

  And then I remembered Madame Pearl. I sat up and got the shock of my life, for dangling from the bottom of my hips were legs! My fin was gone. Gone! What had I done?

  “Madame Pearl!” I screamed in an Earthee voice. “Madame!”

  I wigged out‌—wildly wiggling two skinny legs and ten tiny toes! I’d sold my crystal sea horse collection for these legs, but the reality was terrifying. I was cold, naked, and alone. Why hadn’t Madame Pearl told me I’d need Earthee clothes? Suddenly the sun seemed to pulsate, the sky started to spin back and forth and day turned to night.

  “This isn’t a nude beach!” a woman’s voice called.

  “Madame Pearl?” I whispered, opening my eyes and gasping in crisp air.

  “Put your clothes on!” yelled a wrinkled Earthlady wearing a bright purple hat.

  Flustered and confused, I spied a yellow beach towel lying a few inches from me. I grabbed it, and wrapped it around my body. Not satisfied, Earthlady pointed to a pile of clothes lying next to a backpack.

  “Get dressed, young lady!”

  “But this isn’t‌—” I began.

  “You’re lucky I found you and not the police!”

  The police? I had no choice. I couldn’t spend my first day on Earth in jail. I picked up a pink top and a pair of matching shorts. I had seen Earthees before, of course, and I knew how they dressed, but Earthlady’s critical stare made me so nervous I couldn’t think straight. The next thing I knew I was putting my arms through the shorts. Flustered, I untangled myself and tried to put them on where they belonged. But in my panic, I shoved both legs into one leg hole. I stumbled, fumbled, and tumbled around on the sand.

  Finally I stuck my new two legs into different holes and struggled to pull the shorts up. I tried to fasten the button but the shorts were too tight. So I let it go and reached for the shirt.

  I tried inserting my head. Choking, I realized I had an arm hole. I rearranged the top and managed to pull it down, but it was much too big and hung off my shoulders like seaweed clinging to the edge of a rock. The shirt came down to my knees, so I tied it around my waist.

  I knew I must have been completely dressed when Earthlady grinned with relief.

  “You kids are always breaking the rules!” she chided, like a grandma.

  An Earthee! Speaking to me, as if I were one of her own kind. Fascinated, I forgot my fear. In any case, she seemed as harmless as a starfish. I stared at her crinkly beige skin and her purple straw hat, her fiery attitude hunching her over more than her aging years.

  “You’re too pale to lay out without clothes,” she scolded, but in a softer voice. “And you should wear a hat like mine. The sun’ll ruin that color job!”

  I nodded respectfully, and shoved white open-toed shoes on my two new feet. My two new feet! I was a real Earthee!

  Earthlady continued to observe me. I tried to stand up, but I immediately fell over.

  “I just bought these legs,” I joked, choking the words out.

  “You must have gotten up too quickly,” she said, extending her hand.

  “Blood rushed to my head.”

  She guided me straight up and held me steady as we began to walk‌—I for the first time in my life!

  “You forgot your backpack,” Earthlady said.

  “But that’s not‌—” I began, but she had already left me to kindly retrieve the bag.

  I teetered on one leg, then the other. I clung to the lifeguard stand. I didn’t have water for support, and the air was so thin. Okay, Lills, I said to myself. Either walk to Seaside High or swim all the way to the freezing Atlantic!

  “You’re dehydrated!” the woman said, pulling a bottle of water from her huge canvas purse.

  I pressed my lips around the opening and sucked the contents down in one gulp.

  “Oh, my. You are thirsty!”

  She helped steady me. I coughed on the smoke from her cigarette. It was hard enough breathing pure air without having to breathe smoke.

  “Which way to Seaside High?” I asked, choking, as she helped me put on the backpack.

  She pointed past the beach to the hill, where a large school overlooked the Pacific Ocean.

  “Well, in that case, you’re late, kid,” she said sternly. “You’d better get moving!”

  “I’m walking as fast as I can,” I said, starting to balance on my own.

  I stepped on shells, cigarette butts, and empty soda cans. But I quickly recovered and marched up to the top of the beach, where I walked on deep, green grass. It bent easily and felt cushiony, even tickling my toes. A paved hilly road lined with palm trees led to Seaside High School. I was exhausted when I arrived at the entrance. An actual Earthee school! It was much bigger than Pacific Reefs High.

  I was breathing and walking pretty well by now. I once read it takes a whole year for an Earth child to stand, much less walk, and I’d done it in less than an hour! Maybe mermaids are a higher life form after all.

  Earthdudes and dudettes were leaning against palm trees, walking briskly up stairs, and sitting on the lawn. Tall ones, short ones, skinny and fat, redhaired and yellow-haired. Girls, boys, and some kids whose gender I couldn’t tell.

  Would they know I was a mermaid? Would they pounce on me? Harpoon me? I sucked in a deep breath of air and slowly walked up the front stairs, with the help of the railing, but a girl making out with her boyfriend blocked the way. I carefully stepped around them and opened a huge wooden door. I entered a corridor filled with tall cabinets, smooth to my touch, not rusted like the metal at home. One minute it smelled like water lilies, then the next it smelled like an old finball. I read the signs hanging on the walls: MATH CLUB MEETING CANCELED. CONGRATULATIONS, SHARKS, ON A WINNING YEAR! FESTIVAL OF FIREWORKS‌—FRIDAY NIGHT.

  I was mesmerized by all th
e Earthly activity‌—laughing, shouting, running, kissing. Some Earthteens dressed as if they’d come straight from the Underworld‌—tattoos, pierced ears, noses, eyebrows, and tongues. Others dressed as if they’d come from a finball game. Many looked at me as I walked by. Could they tell I was a mermaid? I felt dizzy and leaned against a cabinet to catch my breath.

  A guy in a Go SHARKS! shirt approached me, leaned in, and reached his hand to my side. I jumped away.

  “That’s my locker, chick.”

  Shocked, I raced away and was thrust into the middle of a crowd of briskly walking teens. I scanned their faces but none was my Earthdude.

  I noticed a wall clock. Nine fifty-five. I was way late for our stadium meeting. And where was the stadium, anyway? Where was he? I peered into a laboratory classroom. Then I looked into an office where a flustered woman was sorting papers at a cluttered wooden desk. Apparently I looked lost.

  “May I help you?” the round Earthwoman asked. She seemed to be helpful and trusting.

  “I’m looking for‌—”

  “You must be Candy Hartman!” she exclaimed. “I’m Mrs. Linwood, the school secretary. We’ve been expecting you! I have all your paperwork here.” She reached among the papers scattered on her desk. “Welcome to Seaside!”

  “But I’m not‌—”

  “Prepared? I know. It’s hard joining school at the end of the year. But with your father being with the government, I’m sure you’re used to it! Quite exciting, really. But mum’s the word!” she said, strangely motioning her hand over her lips.

  “We’ve assigned you to Mr. Costello’s class. I’ll show you the way,” she said, taking me by the arm. “You’ll fit right in!”

  Fit right in? But I just learned to walk an hour ago!

  I was supposed to be in predators and prey class right now. My out-of-water tardiness was turning into a full-day’s absence.

  My cherub-faced escort stopped at a crowded classroom. Is this where Earthdude studied? A thousand wide-eyed sharks were staring at me! All I wanted to do was get my locket and leave. But suddenly I not only had legs, but new clothes, and now a new name.

  “Good morning, Ms. Hartman, take a seat, please,” the teacher said to me. He looked like Mr. Dorsal in cheap pants.

  The room was fascinating. Everyone sat on wooden seats with small tables attached, in neat rows. Lights hung from the ceiling, and the walls were plastered with pictures and maps.

  I folded my new legs together under my chair and quickly became stuck. Students stared at me as my legs banged against the desk. I noticed their legs dangled, their feet touching the floor.

  “This isn’t yoga class!” said the leering girl who sat next to me.

  The clock read ten-thirty! I was stuck here, trapped from moving forward on my mission. But suddenly my new surroundings engaged me, tantalized me with the reality of all I’d ever dreamed of. I, Waterlilly, was suddenly an Earthdudette myself! I immediately became engrossed with my Earth-school environment.

  I finally untangled my legs and peered around the room, making mental notes. A map of Earth, pictures of a pasty man with fluffy white-coral hair, and a thin man with a huge black hat and beard. Another darker man with a mustache and the words, “I have a dream.” If Mrs. Current could see me now!

  I had learned a lot in Earth history, but a lifetime of study couldn’t have prepared me for a real Earthee class. And the Earthees themselves were interesting‌—blonde girls with blue makeup on their eyelids, shorts, short skirts, dresses, chunky canvas shoes with string ties, or open-toed shoes. And each girl had different colored toenails‌—pink, purple, green. I wondered if it was cosmetic paint or if they were born that way.

  I glanced out the window, which gave a thrilling view of the sea in the distance. I watched the waves crashing against the shore. It was an incredible perspective, breathtakingly beautiful. I’d never seen the ocean from such a height.

  “Candy . . . Candy?” Mr. Costello shouted, just as Mrs. Current always shouted at me. At least some things on Earth were the same. “Can you name the four men sculpted in rock on Mount Rushmore?”

  Rock group? I thought. “Of course!” I answered confidently. “John, Paul, George, and Ringo!”

  The class burst into laughter. A cute guy sitting next to me‌—who looked like Beach, only instead of white hair, he had sandy blond hair‌—nudged me in the legs. Everyone stared and giggled. I slunk back, feeling stupid.

  “Miss Hartman, this is social studies, not MTV one-oh-one.”

  The class laughed even more.

  “Do you even know where Mount Rushmore is?”

  The cute guy leaned toward me. “Tennessee,” he whispered.

  “Tennessee!” I shouted.

  The class laughed even louder.

  I stared at him with contempt. “I thought it was,” he whispered, shrugging his shoulders.

  “Settle down, class,” Mr. Costello said. “Now let’s review the presidential elections.”

  I was fascinated with the rest of his lecture and forgot about the necklace and the time. Presidents, the electoral college, voting. I had never been interested in school in my whole life! But I seemed to be the only one listening. One boy had his head resting on his desk. The girl in front of me was scribbling hearts in a pink journal. Another boy was watching moving pictures on a small screen in his lap. In the sea all students were attentive, like merpuppets.

  Suddenly the bell rang.

  Mr. Tennessee picked up my social studies text while the other students left the classroom.

  “My name’s Calvin.”

  “My name’s . . .”

  “I know your name. It’s cool to meet you, Candy.”

  “Yeah . . . totally glacial,” I said, distracted. “Hey Calvin,” I said inching close. “I need help. Can you help me find‌—”

  “Your next class?” he interrupted.

  What if Earthdude was sitting in my next class? I held out the slip of paper with my class schedule.

  “Cool, you have geography. Same as me! This is your lucky day. I’ll show you the way.”

  “Just hurry,” I said.

  The moon was ticking.

  “Somebody die?” Robin teased, as she and Chainsaw found me spacing out at my open locker‌—a dumping ground for CDs, video games, candy wrappers, and books I’d never opened.

  Robin was a mother’s laundry dream. All dark colors. Never an accidental red bleeding into white. No need for bleach, no need for separate washes. I think the only reason Robin had a crush on me was because I changed my hair color with my changing mood. And my colors were all dark as well: black, purple, blue. She thought I was her soulmate. One day, I’ll show up with white hair to see how much she really cares.

  “Yeah, Droopy, one minute you’re skipping like a schoolgirl in love and the next you look as if your mommy took away your Nintendo,” Chainsaw razzed.

  “Go away,” I said, grabbing my Gameboy from my locker shelf.

  “It’s that fantasy girl,” Robin teased, with more than a hint of jealousy. “I’m sick for one day and some babe steps in and wins your heart. Or should I say swims in?”

  “Yeah, ever since yesterday morning he’s been on a major mood swing,” Chainsaw quipped.

  “Was she really pretty?” Robin asked hesitantly, like she was waiting for a bomb to drop.

  “She was beautiful!” Chainsaw answered. “And never to be seen again!”

  “Too bad.” Robin smiled, cozying up to me. “But I’m here, if you need someone to resuscitate you again.”

  “Maybe she was a swimming instructor,” Chainsaw suggested.

  “She was alone,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Maybe she was a lifeguard,” Chain said.

  “Seaside’s lifeguards wear red. She was wearing green,” I said, glaring.

  “Then maybe she was a mermaid!” he declared loudly.

  “What makes you say that?” I exclaimed, dropping my books on the floor. I hadn’t said anything
to Chainsaw about my crazy hallucination.

  “Makes sense. She’s beautiful, swims in the ocean better than you do, saves your life, and disappears in the water.”

  “Sure, a mermaid,” Robin teased dramatically. “And you know what mermaids are like‌—they demand pearls and lobster, live in underwater castles, have kings for fathers and stare at themselves in their mirrors. You’d better stick with humans, Spence. We’re not so vain.”

  “Enough!” I said.

  Chainsaw opened his locker and he and Robin giggled to themselves.

  “Maybe I should start wearing green,” Robin said.

  I slammed more texts into my backpack, wondering if I’d ever see her again, wondering if I’d ever really seen her in the first place.

  I chewed on my backpack strap, anxiously waiting for Calvin while he gathered notebooks from his locker.

  “You’ve got to help me! I’m looking for this guy,” I shouted urgently. “He has my necklace, and I desperately need to get it back!”

  “Did he steal it?” he asked angrily.

  “Not exactly, but I have to get it back, now!”

  “Is he your boyfriend? You didn’t tell me‌—”

  “I don’t even know his name.”

  “Then how did he get your necklace?”

  Enough with the questions! I didn’t have time for this. But instead I was cordial. “I saved him when he was swimming and he accidentally yanked it off.”

  “So you’re a heroine,” he said flirtatiously.

  “And you can be a hero by finding him,” I said, with a wink.

  “All right. What does he look like?”

  I stared across the hallway and noticed an Earthdude with dark-blue hair picking up textbooks up from the floor and cramming them into his locker. I couldn’t see his face, but his build was similar to Earthdude’s.

  “Kind of like him,” I said pointing. “But with dark red hair.”

  “We’ll find him at lunch,” Calvin promised, slamming his locker shut.

  Nothing is as boring as the predictable Mr. Parker’s quarterly lecture as he laments the horrors of our class’s GPA. We’re close to our final exams‌—two weeks until summer break. But instead of making plans for my freedom, I was daydreaming about my enslavement to a fair maiden’s kiss. I wrote her name in my notebook: Cassandra, Margaux, Juliet. And then I gazed out the window and there she was!