Divulgence (Song of Sophangence Book 2)

by E. I. McAllistair

  “Oh, well I suppose that makes sense.”

  “Yeah, it just kinda came to me as a reasonable compromise. I wanted to come to you to give you an update, and to tell you that you were right.”

  Tucking her hair behind her ear, “I think I’m liking what I am hearing. Go on.”

  “Well, there was no doubt Phavian was out of control. I tried to make excuses for him, but there were none that really made sense. Considering he tried to kill me twice, I agree with your judgment that I needed to step up and intervene. He clearly wasn’t talking to Codi, and though she is a complete badass, with the way he was, I don’t think she would have lasted long.”

  “Was?”

  “Yeah, I went to his place to talk to him, whereas I mentioned before, he proceeded to try to kill me. Not making excuses, for him or myself, but it was probably 95% my fault he was acting that way. It was definitely my responsibility to fix it. He agrees his actions were unacceptable, so he is working right now as we speak to make amends to all the people he hurt.”

  “That is amazing! I knew you could do it! You act like you don’t care, but you always take care of your friends. That is what makes you so special. Well one of the things at least. I’m proud of you.”

  Taking a deep breath, “I would save your praises for now. I have more to say.”

  Finding this would have been much easier if Phavian had not told him Maggie had deeper feelings for him than just friendship, he was finding it suddenly hard to accomplish what he had come to say. With the knowledge though, he knew that he owed it to her to hear it from him, and to look her in the eye when he said it, accepting any consequences that came along with it.

  “Phavian and I are a couple now. That is a large portion of what set him on his rampage in the first place.”

  “Do you love him? Like really love him?” Surprised that the words had come out her mouth in such a matter of fact fashion she refused to look away from Anaar’s eyes until she received her answer.

  “More than you could possibly know.” He sighs, giving his neck a rub. “I get it, this is college, we are young, and it could be something that is fleeting. Honestly, I’m pretty sure you don’t even need to have much more than lust to be together at this age. People get together and break up all the time, part of it is probably inexperience. How in the hell are we supposed to know what we want at this point in our lives? Another part of it is just the culture. College is a time for exploration they say. I honestly have the emotional awareness of a rock, but even a lump of coal becomes a diamond under the right pressure. Things have happened that made me realize my feelings, and last night we were finally able to resolve our issues. The night I left, he told me he loved me, and I ran away. From there everything went to shit, causing lots of messes. That is on me, but I too have my own mistakes to fix, and many things to atone for.

  With her heart in pieces, she found though she could not take the repeated abuse, she would hold firm until her questions were answered, he owed her that much. “Did you two have sex?”

  “Yes. If you want to know if I enjoyed it, the answer to that is yes as well.” Grabbing her hands, he finds there are tears welling up in his eyes that he cannot control. “I want you to know, I swear upon my life and everything I love, I had no idea that you have feelings for me in that manner Maggie. It wasn’t until Phavian told me that I came to accept and understand that. I can’t say I can predict the future, so I don’t know how things would have turned out if I had known this information from the start, or at least sooner, but for some reason I can’t help but feel deep inside, the result would have been the same. Know though, even if I may not be in love with you romantically, Maggie, you do hold keys to my heart and soul. You were, are, my very first friend. You took a chance on me, pushed past all my bullshit, and refused to let me remain the scared boy I had always been. I truly do love you with all my heart, and it may sound like pretty words, but it shatters me to know due to my ignorance I may have caused you pain. That is the last thing I could want, but I am very rapidly learning what it means to have people in my life I care about and are worth protecting. I apologize if I fuck it up from time to time. Despite what people seem to believe, to the contrary, I’m far from perfect. Know that even if you reject me, not matter what, I will still come to your aid, if you need it, every single time. If Phavian has taught me anything recently, love doesn’t just go away because someone rejects you.”

  As her heart ripped into a million pieces, she wanted to hit him over and over until he was no longer the beautiful man that captivated her heart from the moment she laid eyes on him. She wanted nothing more than to be a poor sport, doing the same to Phavian, both who were aware of their stakes in this race. She was too proud to do such a thing though, despite the pain it caused. She knew there was never a time she made her feelings clear. She had simply taken Anaar’s affection and devotion as confirmation of their mutual understanding. Though her lip quivered, she did not cry. Pulling her hands from his, she speaks softly, calmly, her words not betraying her feelings inside.

  “I need some time please.”

  With a solemn nod, he stands, not sure if he understood specifically her pain, but remembering how he felt when he almost lost Phavian, marveling at the strength of this grand woman before him. Where he had broken, then set about a rampage, she remained in control. Perhaps she did not have any darkness in her that would latch on to any opportunity to be free. Perhaps his own darkness was just a fabrication of his mind to justify the terrible things he had done, shifting the blame elsewhere. Either way, he had done what he came to do, and now he had to respect her wishes moving forward.

  Moving toward the door, he opens it to leave, turning back for a moment to give her a final look. Not wanting to say anything that would potentially burden her with any guilt, or feeling of obligation, he simply decided to leave her with something that at the very least would prevent another situation of worry.

  “By the way, I have been greenlit to do missions. I think they may be starting soon. If I disappear for a few days, this time I don’t think you need to be alarmed.” Leaving, closing the door behind him, he strides away quickly, not understanding how something he had only just become aware of could be so painful.

  Once the door had finally closed and a few minutes had passed, the veneer Maggie had worn while Anaar was there crumbled to dust. Falling to the floor in a slump, she wondered where she should go from there. Why had it been so important she showed no sign of weakness in front of him? Why had she asked the things she did? Did she really want to know? Was it really so important?

  She was not sure which was worse, going forward, wondering when she would finally get what her heart desired, or knowing that the outcome was decided before it even began. Throughout the months they had grown closer and closer, come through many trials together relatively unscathed, yet the ending was incorrect. In fairy tales, the pain was always worth it. The prince always chose the princess, and they always had a happy ending, riding off into the sunset.

  It had become quite clear that life was definitely no fairy tale. Perhaps there was no prince for her because she was already a queen. Queens make the demands, set the rules, and control the kingdom. Ironic how much of a misnomer that word truly was. In the end, she had Anaar’s love. Despite her own strength, was it reasonable for her to expect anything more than that from a man who could by her estimation, raze cities on his own? Was it selfish for her to be anything but happy for someone who had genuinely thought he was doing everything in his power to protect her and make her happy? How many times had it been only by his influence or intervention she had made it to the next round?

  Now, in a time where she had taken so much, yet given so little in return, all he wanted, though he had not requested it, was her continued love and support, however meager it might be in comparison. She could not help but think how much she envied Codi in this instance. In a world where love was love, and there was rarely a strong preference over where it came from, she
had been gifted a relationship that had no questions, no ambiguity. There was never a chance for her and Phavian to go through the same song and dance, their relationship had always been set. There was no need to suddenly clarify or redefine it. Curled into a ball on the floor, her tears soaking it as a rainstorm soaks the earth, she began to understand the power of secrets, and how sometimes it was better to be left without certain pieces of information.

  13

  Leaving Maggie alone was not ideal for him at all, but Anaar could tell she needed to work through some things before they could move forward. Given how brave a face she had put on, he wondered if he was potentially projecting his own feelings on her, making it seem as if she should have been in more emotional distress. Though not dismissing it, he decided it would be best to focus on other things, so he did not make the situation worse by dwelling on it. Thinking about what he should do next, he figured it might be best to let Ixnes know that the situation with Phavian had been handled. Finding a secluded place, as he had forgotten his earbuds, and did not want anyone to know he was having a casual conversation with the Headmistress, he calls her up.

  “Seeing how you never call when you are in trouble or need help, I can only presume you have something positive to report?”

  Stunned by the abruptness of the inquiry, “Oh, yeah. Phavian has been handled. He agrees it would be a bad idea to let my secret get out. Also, he is apologizing to the people he hurt during the Melee, or at least trying to.”

  “Excellent. As I expected of you darling. You two may come by my office to get the preliminary details of your mission. You will be fully briefed when you depart.”

  “Wait, just like that? When are we leaving?”

  “Tomorrow. I would rather not explain this multiple times, so please do make sure the boy is on his way in as well.”

  “Right now?”

  “Of course not child! Whenever you like of course. Time is surely not of the essence.”

  Geez! Snippy. Now I know where Hobb gets it from. “We are on our way.”

  Contacting Phavian, he lets him know they have been requested immediately at the Headmistress’ office. Agreeing to meet there, Anaar double times it to the office, as he is currently the further of the two away. To his amazement he arrives not very long after Phavian, though he is standing outside waiting as if he is afraid to go in.

  “You didn’t go ahead inside?”

  “Hell no!”

  “Haven’t you done missions before? Like lots of them? How is this any different?”

  “Because of all the missions I have done, none have come at the express request from the Headmistress. She has also never once deigned to attend a briefing, nevertheless lead one herself.”

  “Huh. So this isn’t the norm?”

  Phavian looks at him for a moment, then shakes his head. “I love you, but really, you take your crazy connections and situations way too lightly. This is a huge deal to have the Headmistress herself involved.”

  Giving him a shrug, he simply heads into the Administration Building, bound for Ixnes’ office, Phavian trailing like a scared puppy behind them. When they reach Ixnes’ office, they let the secretary know who they are, and she immediately allows them entry. Sitting in a dress that shone like the sun, the two boys could see her expensive heels, only a slightly different shade of yellow than the dress, from beneath the hem of her crossed legs.

  “Well it certainly took you two long enough to arrive. I do hope you do not make this punctuality issue a habit.”

  “We didn’t have an actual appointment though. We just came because you told us to. How could we-”

  A small blade of water immediately comes rushing from near Ixnes, stopping just in front of Anaar. With a surprised look, Phavian sees Anaar appear as if he was physically exerting himself, but he could not understand why. Finally, a small blue patch of energy appears before Anaar, allowing the blade of water to crash harmlessly against it as Anaar heaves slightly as if he were someone who had just lifted something extremely heavy.

  “Your control is impressive, but still not enough. It seems you can command larger volumes of water at a much closer level to me, as you seemed to have hardly this much of an issue in our last bout. How lucky you are to be a True Quintessence, never needing to worry about running out of resources or spending time gathering what is available. It took me decades of hard work to be capable of aggregating enough moisture from the atmosphere to make something of even that size, with such speed.”

  Looking from Ixnes to Anaar, Phavian is utterly baffled. “Why does everyone try to kill you?! And what was that whole exchange?”

  “You tried killing me too, twice, if you had forgotten. I thought I would be able to force the knife back, but she is still too strong for me. The fact that I could even hold it is technically saying something, given who I was up against. I finally just gave up the fight.”

  “This is going to take some getting used to…”

  “That is exactly why you two are here. As it stands, Anaar could likely be far more powerful at this stage if he had the type of opportunity to utilize more of his abilities, rather than constantly hiding them. Given his attraction for trouble, it would perhaps be better to place him in controlled environments where he can dispel some of that energy. Though it is not common, I am allowing him to partake in missions starting immediately, as not only would it help with the boredom someone of his ability finds themselves dealing with, but also generate income for his mother. I will be hand picking these missions, based on their chance of exposure to him, and how well they resonate with his skills. For his first missions, you shall accompany him, as your experience and leadership will be invaluable in helping him through these situations. Also, as you are one of the few people alive that know of his abilities, there is no risk of new exposure with you. This mission is well suited to you both working as a team, since you will be headed to Iraq on a reconnaissance and possible retrieval mission. As you speak Arabic, and Anaar is more than proficient in Farsi at this point already, this should address most of the concerns with communication. The client is the CIA, so you will be rewarded quite handsomely, with $50K paid to each of you for the mission. Further details will need to be obtained directly from your handler. You leave tomorrow, so I would advise you get your affairs in order tonight. It should be a simple mission, only lasting a day, or at most two, so there will be no need for enacting any extended absence protocols.”

  Anaar and Phavian sit quietly looking at Ixnes, as she gives them a look of annoyance. “What are you still sitting there for? That is all. You may go.”

  As Anaar rises to leave, he turns back to Ixnes. “The suit is awesome by the way, thank you again for it.”

  “That is splendid to hear, I shall tell Miles that my, confidential tester has already expressed their pleasure with it. It is absolutely burning him up to not know who it is, and obtain data for himself. I find it quite satisfying.”

  Leaving the office, the two check their Vizers, agreeing they should go get something to eat.

  “How did your trip to the hospital go?”

  “Really good actually. Everyone has been whispering about it, but they are all afraid I would come after them or something. For those that were there in the hospital had I hurt, they accepted my apology, and admitted it did not seem like my normal behavior. Because of that, they seemed much quicker to forgive.”

  “I guess it pays to be a good guy usually. Have you talked to Codi yet?”

  “No, why would I need to talk to her?”

  “I would think that would have been obvious. Of the people most affected, don’t you think she has been having a hard time not having her best friend? It would be a nice boost to her success in the Melee to know she had her friend back too.”

  Stopping short, Phavian simply stares at Anaar as he continues to walk. Realizing Phavian was no longer by his side, Anaar turns to look at him with a question written on his face. “What are you standing around for?”

 
; “So you can pick up on all these things between Codi and me, but you expect me to believe you had no idea about Maggie and Dan?”

  Giving him a shrug, “I guess I’m shit at seeing what is right in front of me. So, are you going to invite her, or should I? I need you to take her back ASAP because she is poisoning Maggie. Soon there will be two of them running around, and we both know that just the one is a handful enough.”

  Giving him a nod, Phavian brings up his Vizer to call Codi. When she answers, she is simply silent, far different from any typical Codi interactions.

  “Hey, let’s do lunch.”

  “Are you sure? I’m in a really good mood and I don’t want you fucking it up.”

  “Yeah I’m sure. When do you want to meet?”

  “I was on my way there now.”

  “Good, see you soon.”

  Resuming their trek, considering Anaar had just brought up the topic of his best friend, he figured one good turn deserved another. “Have you thought about what you are going to say to Maggie?”

  “Said, done, destroyed something yet again. My usual for right now it seems.”

  Wrapping his arm around his waist, pulling him close, “You want to talk about it?”

  “Maybe later. For right now, I’d rather get a win or two under my belt, so maybe we should focus on resolving things with Codi. She hasn’t exactly been warm and friendly with me lately.”

  “She is nothing if not loyal. Even if we are arguing, she would still kick you in the ass if you did something to me she thought was shitty. That is probably where it is coming from.”

  Nodding with understanding, the two make their way to the Cafeteria, hiking up to the third floor to get their food. Once they had been seated for a few minutes, Codi arrives, a strange look on her face as she saw the two of them together. Surprisingly enough, rather than sitting down next to Phavian, she chooses to sit down next to Anaar.