By Friday afternoon, Claudia could have wept. She’d moved to Cornwall to be true to herself, but with trying to smooth things over about Hester’s, more or less lying about what she thought, justifying herself and her own store while trying not to malign theirs, she was drifting a long way from that.
A visit from Alice felt like the last straw.
‘I heard the radio interview,’ Alice said. ‘You told me you didn’t hate Hester’s last time I was here.’
Accusatory and glum. Great.
‘And that was the truth,’ Claudia reassured her, following up with her usual spiel, so well-practised that she could have done it in her sleep.
‘Well, George agreed with you, for a change,’ Alice grunted. ‘Said you were quite right. Purveyors of rubbish.’
That was all Claudia needed – Alice’s George on her side. When will this week ever end?
‘That isn’t what I said at all,’ she said, reining in her temper. ‘As I just explained.’ Give me strength.
But Alice was staring into the distance. ‘I wish I could go in there,’ she said, almost to herself. ‘I’d love to see what all the fuss is about.’
‘Then why don’t you?’ Claudia asked, already knowing the answer but past caring, her nerves frayed to breaking point.
‘I told you before. George wouldn’t like it.’ Alice glared at Claudia. ‘And now you’ve done a hatchet job on those women, he’d like it even less, wouldn’t he?’
Hatchet job? Claudia could have lost her temper at that. But what concerned her more was that a woman she knew, a woman who regularly frequented her shop and came to meditation every week, daren’t enter a shop without her husband’s permission.
She reached for patience. ‘Alice, you can tell me to mind my own business, but is everything okay between you and George?’
A panicked look came into Alice’s eyes. ‘Everything’s fine. Why would you think it wasn’t?’ When Claudia said nothing, she hurried on. ‘George has his ways, that’s all. Has his views. Best to keep my own views to myself. Easier that way.’ Her smile was brittle. ‘You know what men are like.’
‘Yes. All the same, aren’t they?’ Claudia swiftly changed the subject. ‘How are your notes coming along?’
‘Notes?’ Alice looked puzzled, then shifty. ‘Oh! Er. Good, thanks. Once I got started, I couldn’t stop.’
‘That’s good.’ And odd.
‘Well. Must go. Bye.’
Claudia had never seen Alice move so fast as she scuttled out the door.
Oh, Claudia, why did you have to stick your nose in where it wasn’t wanted?
Because I’m worried about her.
Have you seen anything concrete to make you worry, really? Bruises?
No. Nothing like that. But…
You don’t know what goes on between two people.
But she’s so unhappy!
Yes. But it’s not your business.
How could the unhappiness of someone I know not be my business? I can at least keep my eye on her, can’t I?
Chapter Fifteen
Sunday evening saw Jason well-prepared for their dinner with Claudia. He’d found a vegetarian recipe he thought he could pull off, bought the ingredients, chilled the wine, ironed a shirt. All was well. Until…
‘Dad? Jessica’s asking me to go to the cinema tonight with her and a couple of others. Her dad’ll drive us. I told her we had someone coming for dinner, but…’
Jason’s mind raced. He could see that Millie didn’t want to let him down and land him in the proverbial soup, but she’d spent the day before with Claudia at her Saturday job, and she needed to cement these new friendships from school. He couldn’t let her turn this down.
‘We’ll be fine. Tell them you can go.’
‘Sure?’
‘Sure.’
‘Thanks. And Jessica says I can stay the night if I take my school stuff with me.’
Jason was less keen on that, but Millie hadn’t been inundated with invitations, and this was the first for a sleepover.
‘On a school night?’
‘Don’t worry. Jessica says her mum’ll put her foot down.’
Good old Jessica’s mum. ‘Okay.’
‘Thanks!’ Millie shot off to make arrangements, leaving Jason to damp down panic.
As he began cooking, he noticed his hand was lightly shaking – not ideal, with a sharp knife in his grip – and recognised that he was nervous. Millie deserting him had suddenly turned a family threesome into a cosy twosome.
It’s a simple dinner, Jason. How complicated can it be?
Who was he kidding? Everything about Claudia was complicated, including this attraction he was trying so hard to ignore.
It wasn’t only the way she looked – although, heaven knew, she could knock him for six if he allowed her to. He found her tenacity attractive, too. Her quietly assertive manner, her empathy, her vivacity.
Jason had felt hemmed in for so long by his downward-spiralling marriage, the responsibility for bringing up a child, dealing with Gemma’s death… Sometimes it felt like he could barely breathe. The sea air was helping. The challenge of his new job was (mostly) helping. But it was still there, that weight.
Claudia had been like a breath of fresh air in his confined existence.
As he stirred chilli powder into the pot, questioning how spicy she’d like it – Stop right there, Jason. Don’t allow that thought to wander – he wondered if she’d always been that way, or whether she’d cultivated it.
If the latter, he sure as hell wished she’d tell him how.
When Claudia knocked on the door of the Craig house, she was less nervous than on the last occasion. At least she’d been invited this time. And she bore no unwanted gifts – merely wine and elderflower cordial.
Jason opened the door in his trademark off-duty jeans, faded and fitting familiarly to his thighs. A smart, grey shirt was a nod to expecting company.
‘Claudia. Come on in. Thanks.’ Jason took her offerings and glanced at the labels, presumably with relief that she hadn’t brought any home-brewed concoctions, then led her through to the open-plan kitchen and lounge.
‘Wow!’ Claudia looked around in awe. It was a fabulous space, with vaulted ceilings and wood floors and swathes of glass letting in light.
‘You like it?’
‘Ha! You’ve seen my flat, Jason.’
‘I like your flat. It’s very you.’
‘Thank you.’ Claudia wandered the room, taking in the Scandinavian-style furniture; pieces of pottery and glass dotted here and there; muted rugs. No clutter, but she supposed that was the idea with a new start.
From the patio doors, she could see the incredible view she’d imagined this place would have.
‘Would you like to take a look outside?’ Jason asked.
‘What kind of stupid question is that?’ Claudia stepped out onto the decking. ‘Oh.’ Her breath left her with a whoosh as she looked out over the sea, calm and turquoise, navy in places where seaweed darkened it, the white froth of the waves, a sail in the distance, gulls wheeling overhead. ‘This is perfect.’
‘I know. I couldn’t believe my luck, finding this place.’
Claudia walked across the decking to the railing and peered over to where trees and shrubs stretched down in a gentle slope. The house was well away from the cliff edge – a good thing, she reckoned, after seeing a recent documentary about coastal erosion. Some of the houses she spotted on her walks looked like they might tumble into the sea at any moment.
‘It’s safe enough,’ Jason said at her shoulder.
As though he can read my mind. ‘I’m sure it is.’ She turned to him. ‘I shouldn’t think an architect would take any risks.’
He smiled. ‘Not that kind, anyway.’
Anxious not to concentrate on how Jason looked when he actually smiled, Claudia took in the rest of the outside space. On either side of the decking, large pots nestled in shimmering white gravel that stretched to border beds of
shrubs, ferns and grasses.
‘No lawn, I’m afraid. This was a holiday home – easy maintenance. Suits me for now.’
‘This was only a holiday home?’
‘You’ve lived down here for a while. You know how it works.’
She did, but Claudia could never get her head around people having enough money to own somewhere this size, in this position, done out in the excellent way it was, as a second home. It must have cost a fortune.
That thought brought her up short. How much did architects make nowadays? Not that it was any of her business.
But it seemed Jason was still reading her mind. ‘It’s not something I could have afforded,’ he admitted. ‘But Gemma’s life insurance was left to me. You know how quickly properties get snapped up around here – I was struggling to find anywhere. Then my new boss told me a property they’d renovated was going up for sale and was I interested in taking a look?’
‘Serendipity,’ Claudia murmured.
‘If you believe in that kind of thing. Anyway, I couldn’t resist.’
‘I can see why. It’s glorious.’
‘It’s bigger than I’d’ve chosen, but Millie and I need space from each other. I fancied living right by the coast – I was done with city living. Millie loves it. Plus, it’ll be easy to sell if things don’t work out.’
Claudia saw the doubt and worry in his eyes. Jason had taken a huge leap of faith.
She touched his arm. ‘I hope it does.’
‘Thanks.’ Jason cleared his throat. ‘Millie told me she enjoyed working with you yesterday.’
‘I enjoy having her with me.’
‘Good. I hope she thanked you properly for those oracle cards. I still can’t get over how much effort you made.’
‘She told me yesterday that she uses them every morning before school and every night before bed. That’s the only thanks I need.’
Jason nodded, a sad smile at his lips. ‘That’s more than she’s told me, then. But I’m glad.’ Another hesitation. ‘She said Healing Waves was quiet yesterday.’
‘Yes.’ So quiet for a Saturday, Claudia had had Millie slicing the soap she’d spent her evenings making since the Hester’s radio interview, too unsettled to relax.
‘Do you think it’s to do with the radio thing?’ he asked.
‘I’d love to say no, but the locals are staying away. Those that do come only want to interrogate me.’
‘I told Millie about the interview,’ Jason said. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but with her working there…’
‘That’s fine.’ Claudia let out a long sigh. ‘Jason, can I ask a favour? I know you were concerned about me the other night, and I’m grateful you were there, but can we ban all talk of Hester’s Cauldron tonight? I need to think about something else.’
He smiled. ‘No problem.’
Talk of Millie had made Claudia conscious of her absence. ‘Where is Millie?’
‘Ah.’ Jason gave her a sheepish look. ‘She got a last-minute invite to the cinema and a sleepover. I didn’t want her to turn it down.’
‘No. Of course not. She should go out with her friends.’
‘I hope you don’t mind.’ Jason seemed suddenly nervous. ‘Now that it’s just the two of us, I mean.’
Still processing the idea that they’d gone from a trio to a couple, Claudia said, ‘I’m sure we’ll manage.’
Jason gave her a knowing look. ‘Shall I get you a glass of wine before you bolt for the door?’
‘Do I look like I might?’
He grinned. ‘Yes, you do.’
Jason survived dinner alone with Claudia.
They had wine outside first, the breeze balmy, the decking sheltered, enjoying the colours of the sea, muted in the evening light. Suspecting that Claudia would need more than her one glass allowance now she knew that Millie was no longer acting as chaperone, Jason suggested that he walk her home and she could collect her car tomorrow. He stuck to his promise not to mention Hester’s Cauldron, and instead they chatted about his job and Millie’s school. Claudia claimed to enjoy his vegetarian offering of Mediterranean risotto, and when he refused to let her help with the dishes, they settled with more wine in the lounge.
He watched as she folded her legs beneath her, her long, pale blue skirt draping across the sofa. ‘How on earth do you do that?’
‘Yoga.’
Jason winced. ‘Always looks painful to me – all that twisting into unnatural poses.’
‘You should try it. It’s the perfect excuse for me-time.’
‘Is that important to you?’
‘Yes. I believe it’s important to do things for yourself and not for others all the time.’
‘You do plenty for others, Claudia. You don’t even charge for meditation.’
‘I’m happy to give back to the locals. They welcomed me into their community and supported my shop. If I can help people relax, relieve their stress…’
‘And what about that crystal workshop that Millie attended? A fiver each barely covers the cost of tea and biscuits.’
‘Ah, but they could buy all the crystals they wanted – or as you’d probably have it, goods they were coerced into thinking they wanted – so it’s a good business strategy.’
Jason shook his head. ‘I don’t think you coerce anyone into anything. I do think you’re very persuasive about the things you believe in, but that’s different.’ He headed back to safer waters. ‘What else do you do besides yoga? For yourself, that is?’
Claudia sipped her wine. ‘I walk a lot. I can’t get enough of the scenery down here. I like to cook fresh food. I enjoy the company of my friends. I love owning my own business, deciding how it might change and grow, knowing it earns me a modest living. I love handmaking the soap, some of the jewellery.’ She frowned when he didn’t say anything. ‘Does that answer your question?’
Actually, it only throws up a million more.
She gave him a curious look. ‘What do you do just for yourself?’
That had him stumped. ‘I enjoy my work. The rest is all about…’
‘Millie?’
‘Yes.’
‘Jason, you’re spending all your energies on building a life for Millie, encouraging her social life and interests outside school. Shouldn’t you do the same for yourself?’
‘I’ll get to myself eventually. Just being somewhere new is refreshing. It got so stifling in Edinburgh. People treated me with kid gloves after Gemma died. Only close friends and family knew about the impending divorce, and it was an odd situation for them, sympathising with a man who’d lost the wife he was about to separate from. Most people didn’t know about the divorce but still had no idea what to say to a thirty-six-year-old widower with a teenage daughter to raise. Down here, it’s a year on and pity is limited. I find it easier that way.’
It was freeing to be able to mention the divorce to Claudia. At first, he’d been upset that Millie had told her, but now…? Like Claudia had said of Tanya, perhaps it was good for one person in your new life to know about your old one.
‘What about making new friends?’ she asked.
‘I’ll make an effort. Some time. Soon.’
‘Jason, it’s so easy to put yourself last – to lose yourself in what others want or need.’
She knew, he thought. The look she gave him, her quiet encouragement. She knew he was still trapped inside himself and didn’t know how to get out. How had she managed it?
‘Why did you need a new start?’ he asked, wanting to understand. ‘Was it your divorce?’
She sipped her wine, the shoulder of her cream cotton top slipping off her shoulder as she shifted on the sofa. ‘That was the catalyst. But it was more a sudden realisation that my marriage, my career weren’t me. I couldn’t see it when I was in the midst of it all, but one day something happened, and I knew with an amazing clarity that I couldn’t do it any longer. I couldn’t be that person any more. I wanted to find out who I really was and be that person.’
Jason wa
s fascinated. It occurred to him that the wine might have loosened her tongue, but he wanted to know more about her. ‘You had an unhappy marriage?’
‘I didn’t think I was unhappy. We both had impressive careers that bought us a swanky apartment, and we had a hectic social life, but I had no idea what was going on underneath.’
How far dare he dig? ‘Which was…?’
Claudia hesitated. ‘Lee liked me to be a certain way,’ she said, her tone cautious.
Jason frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
She shrugged. ‘He liked to stay fit, and he liked me to be slim and fit, too. I never felt free to enjoy my food – it was like he was judging me whenever I put anything in my mouth. We had gym membership, and he made sure I used mine. I hated the gym. He had preferences about my appearance. He liked my hair straight, for example. He thought it was better for my image at work.’
Jason had been listening carefully, not wanting to interrupt now that she was opening up – but at that comment, he nearly dropped his glass.
Claudia laughed, jabbing her fingers into the wild curls haloed around her head. ‘I know, right? Yes, it was hard work, and each hour I spent with the straighteners in my hand is an hour of my life I won’t get back. I regret that very much.’
Jason stared at her. The riot of curls was Claudia. But he was beginning to get the picture.
‘So now you let it do what it wants to do? Eat what you want to eat? Exercise the way that suits you – long walks along the coast and yoga?’
‘You got it.’
Jason tried to envisage a skinnier, sleeker version of Claudia and failed. The Claudia in front of him was vibrant and energetic, while exuding calm and warmth. Why would that idiot Lee want a different version?
‘Why was he worried about your image at work?’
She hesitated. ‘We worked in the same firm and moved up the ladder together, as a team. Lee was highly ambitious, and he was keen that we maintained an attractive, professional image at all times to impress clients.’
Jason bristled. ‘He used your attractiveness to get deals?’
The Little Shop in Cornwall: A heartwarming and feel good beach read Page 19