Miss Shaw and the Doctor

by Fenella J Miller

  Betty had gone ahead and his mother was waiting in the doorway to greet them. “How dreadful, Adam, and tonight of all nights. I have had brandy sent upstairs and tea with no sugar.”

  He carried his precious burden to her chamber and placed her gently on the bed. Her pulse was steady, her breathing deeper than he’d expected. He smiled and stepped away. “I shall leave Miss Shaw to your expert care, Betty. She’s in a deep restorative slumber. She has no need of the smelling salts. She will recover in her own time. When you have completed your duties here you must retire. You will be needed first thing tomorrow.”

  His heart was light as he left the room. This attack had clarified matters; he understood his feelings now. He was irrevocably in love with Miss Shaw—no, she would be Sarah in his heart from now on. He could not speak to her at the moment. It would be inappropriate, but before she returned to Bentley Manor, he would declare himself.

  However, he would tell Mother his good news. They both needed something to cheer them up on this tragic night. Tomorrow was soon enough to puzzle out why Sarah had been targeted in this way. Despite the sadness, something happy had come out of the tragedy. The old adage was true. Even the darkest cloud had a silver lining.

  Chapter Seven

  Sarah opened her eyes to glorious sunshine. For a brief second, her heart lifted as she recalled Dr. Moorcroft had referred to her as his love. In future, dare she think of him by his given name, Adam?

  Then her happiness fled, and reality rushed in to replace it. Sir John would be coming this morning to tell the others. She must be prepared and put her own feelings to one side. Beth, who had been closest in age, would surely feel the loss most strongly. Isobel and Lorna had each other for comfort.

  There was only one answer: she must move in with Beth, at least for the present. She could not expect the child to sleep alone. She pushed herself upright. Considering the circumstances, she felt remarkably refreshed. “Betty, are you there?”

  There was a rustle of skirts to the left of the bed and her abigail appeared. “I wasn’t sure what to put out for you, miss. It should be something black, but that isn’t possible until the master has spoken to the girls.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I shall wear my normal attire; did I hear the sound of a bath being prepared next door?”

  “You did, Miss Shaw. I thought you would like a nice hot dip after your nasty experience last night. Mr. Oxford says them gypsies are to blame for all the pilfering and damage done in the neighbourhood. He is convinced they were men came from that camp.”

  Sarah frowned. “I have little experience of such people, but I have never heard they attack defenceless women. I think it far more likely to have been a couple of poachers, vagrants who thought they had an opportunity.”

  She had little appetite and ate nothing from her breakfast tray. Her duty was to be with the children, but this wasn’t possible until Sir John had visited. There was the sound of childish laughter and the patter of feet in the corridor outside her chamber. Good, Nancy and Jo were taking the girls out to play in the garden. Let them enjoy the sunshine whilst they could.

  Once she could see the children were outside, she hurried from her rooms and went down to knock on the drawing room door. Firm footsteps approached—this could be none other than the man she sought. The door opened.

  “Sweetheart, I was about to come up and see you. You look much better this morning.” Dr. Moorcroft smiled at her in a most disconcerting way.

  Why was he using such an endearment? The appellation was hardly appropriate in the circumstances. “I thank you, sir, for your timely intervention last night. I am fully recovered, but wished to discover when Sir John is expected. I cannot be with the children until they know the truth.”

  He took her hands in his and gently drew her into the room, closing the door quietly behind them. Immediately his mother arrived at her side and embraced her fondly. “My dear, come and sit down. I shall order coffee; perhaps you might eat a little something?”

  Sarah sat where directed; she had not the energy to refuse refreshments or to take him to task for addressing her so informally. The parlour maid arrived with the tray, but there were only two cups upon it. Adam…Dr. Moorcroft…must be going on his rounds.

  To her surprise, Mrs. Moorcroft fluttered to the door. “I have errands to run; please forgive me, but I must leave you alone.” The door was opened and her hostess gone before either of them could protest at the impropriety.

  “Don’t look so perturbed, my dear, I asked Mama to leave us. There is something most particular I wish to say to you.”

  Sarah was on her feet and backing away towards the window before he had finished his speech. She could think of only one thing he might wish to say. Now was not the time to be discussing matters of the heart, but her pulse raced as he drew closer. He followed her until she was trapped. Her head was spinning. His eyes blazed. She was captivated by this man.

  “I know today is not the perfect day for me to declare myself, but, my love, I think it will be much easier to bear the next few days if we can console each other.” Gently he stretched out and captured her trembling fingers. “Sarah, will you do me the inestimable honour of agreeing to be my wife? I know we cannot think about a future together at the moment, but if we become betrothed it will give me the right to take care of you.”

  His dear face was sincere, his expression anxious. How could she refuse him? They could not possibly marry for years. That was time enough to get to know him better. “As long as you understand it might be a considerable while until I am free of my responsibilities, then I am happy to accept your offer.”

  His arms encircled her waist and he drew her close.

  She could feel his heart pounding, knew he was as moved as she. She tilted her head in order to see his face; there were tears in his eyes, and she reached up to brush them away.

  “I love you, Sarah Shaw. I will make you the happiest of brides when the time is right. Beth, Lorna, and especially Isobel, will need your loving support over the next few weeks. But I am hoping by the autumn you will be able to resign your position and take up a new one, as my wife.

  “And I love you; I promise as soon as I am able, I will come to you.” Her hands clutched his waistcoat in excitement. “Would you consider allowing my mother to live with us? She…”

  Slowly he lowered his head until his mouth was hovering over hers. “Of course she can; Mama will be delighted to have a companion of her own age.” Then his lips closed over hers in a kiss of such sweetness, such love, her knees almost gave way.

  The arrival of a carriage outside jolted them apart. Sir John had come to break the dreadful news to his remaining daughters.

  “Sarah, I have yet to tell you what transpired earlier. Sir John is determined to send Isobel away to school. He lays the blame on her shoulders.”

  “How could he? This is the worst possible news. Splitting the family up at such a time is cruel.” She wiped her eyes and swallowed her tears. Crying would not help matters. “Adam, shall I go and collect the children or will you send a servant?”

  “I shall go out myself and then accompany them upstairs. Wait for me there, my love. It’s going to be a harrowing business. I wish I had been able to dissuade Sir John from this path.”

  The chamber the girls were using as their playroom was a light, spacious room. Sarah was tempted to draw the shutters, block out some of the sunshine, make it more appropriate to the situation. She was most concerned about Isobel. The little girl would be devastated to discover she was not to return home with the others, but be sent away to school as punishment for her part in the tragedy. Surely knowing she had brought the illness into the nursery was punishment enough for Isobel?

  It took far longer for the girls to return to their chambers from the garden, as only Isobel was fully recovered from the measles and there were many stairs to climb. When Adam brought the children in the two nursery maids looked enquiringly in her direction. Sarah shook her head and gesture
d they should retreat to the dressing room. Adam had carried Beth from the garden and gently placed her on the boards.

  Lorna rushed over. “Miss Shaw, we’ve missed you. Where have you been all day?”

  Isobel smiled and nodded her agreement. “Did we hear a carriage? Has Mama come to visit now we’re all so much better?”

  Beth asked the question Sarah had been dreading. “Where’s Lottie? Is she better too?”

  Adam shook his head slightly. “Your papa is here. Ah! I can hear him approaching.”

  Immediately the children shrank back, Beth attempting to bury herself in Sarah’s skirts, Isobel and Lorna standing behind her. This was not a good start. This was the first intimation she’d had that the girls were in fear of their father—she wished the news had been broken by her. Too late to repine, Sir John was at the door.

  He was in full mourning. Isobel’s piteous cry wrung her heart. All three must believe their beloved mother had passed away. He remained in the entrance. He cleared his throat; his knuckles were white. He was not as composed as she had thought.

  “Elizabeth, Lorna, Isobel, I have grievous information for you. Charlotte…Lottie…died last night.” His harsh words hung in the air. He shifted from one foot to the other. “The blame for this tragedy is on your shoulders, Isobel. You were given due warning about your behaviour. I do not wish you to return to Bentley Manor. You will be going to school when your sisters return home.”

  This dreadful announcement produced dramatic reactions from all three children. Beth cast up her accounts; Lorna collapsed in a heap, sobbing loudly; and Isobel, as white as a sheet, fled from the room without a word. By the time Beth and Lorna had been dealt with, Sir John had gone. No word of comfort had been offered. Sarah was deeply shocked by his callous behaviour.

  “Adam, could you go and find Isobel? I cannot leave Beth and Lorna when they are so distressed.”

  He smiled sadly and nodded. “She will not be far away, I shall bring her back; it is she who needs your love the most. I tried to dissuade Sir John from this course, but, as you know, he was adamant.”

  A considerable time later he returned. He did not have Isobel with him. “I cannot find her; I have my staff looking both inside and out. She can’t have gone far.”

  Beth was sleeping on Nancy’s lap and Lorna had been put to bed; her fever had returned and she was quite unwell. “I shall get my bonnet and boots on and join in the search. Why did Sir John not offer his daughters comfort? I had not thought him a hard man, but his behaviour today was unhelpful—the girls needed comfort and they didn’t receive it.”

  “Lady Fenwick will be inconsolable; Isobel is her favourite child. Today she has lost not one, but two of her daughters. As soon as we have found Isobel, I shall ride over to speak to her parents again.”

  Sarah snatched up her second-best bonnet, a plain chip straw with narrow brim and pale blue ribbon, and jammed it on her head. Not bothering to collect her reticule nor her gloves, she dashed from her chamber to check on Lorna. Jo was sitting by the bed, her eyes red and puffy.

  “I’m going with Dr. Moorcroft to look for Isobel,” she whispered.

  Lorna stirred and opened her eyes. On seeing Sarah, she reached out a hand. “Miss Shaw, please don’t leave me. You’re going out. I don’t want you to.”

  Sarah dropped to her knees beside the bed and gently smoothed the child’s clammy forehead. “My love, I shall not be long. Isobel is still hiding in the garden, and I’m going to find her.”

  “Promise me you will never leave Beth or me. I could not bear it if you did.” Lorna’s grip tightened, and her eyes were huge.

  Without hesitation, Sarah gathered the little girl into her embrace and stroked her back lovingly. “Of course I shall not leave you. I give you my word of honour that I will remain at Bentley Manor to take care of you as long as you have need of me.”

  The girl’s fingers slackened, and she flopped back on the pillows with her eyes closed. Scrambling to her feet, Sarah turned to the nursemaid. “I don’t know how long I shall be; hopefully Lorna will sleep until I return. Please reassure her I am coming back as soon as we have found her sister.”

  With brimming eyes, Sarah hurried from the chamber to come face-to-face with the wonderful gentleman she’d earlier promised to marry. Taking his hand she led him to the window seat at the far end of the corridor before speaking. “I’m so sorry, my dear, but I must ask you to release me from our engagement. I cannot marry you. I have given Lorna my word that I will stay with her indefinitely.” She couldn’t look at him, hated to hurt him in this way. “It breaks my heart to say this, but you would be better off looking for another bride. I cannot expect you to wait for me to be free to come to you; it could be many years.”

  His answer was to raise her hands to his mouth and gently kiss her knuckles. “I love you, Sarah, I will wait until you feel you are free to come here as my bride, however long it takes.”

  She tumbled into his arms and remained there for several minutes, drawing comfort from his strength. Eventually he tenderly pushed her away. “We must not tarry, sweetheart, we must find Isobel.”

  Adam somehow kept his voice even, managed not to show how hurt he was by Sarah’s rejection. The children must come first in the short term, but to promise to remain with them for a decade was taking her duty too seriously. It must mean her feelings for him were not as strong as those she had for the children. He could not marry a woman whose love was lukewarm. When life returned to normal, Isobel found and Charlotte’s funeral over, he would release her from her promise.

  Thank God she had said nothing to Sir John, and that only his mother knew of the arrangement. The only person to be hurt by this would be himself. He would never marry again; for him, falling in love was irrevocable. He wished Sarah’s feelings matched his, for he would like to have something good to look forward to at this bleak time.

  Now was not the time to dwell on this. They must find the lost girl. She had barely recovered from her illness; being outside and in such distress would do her no good at all.

  Sarah was relieved when sometime past noon one of the outside men discovered Isobel asleep in the hayloft. Although her face was tear streaked, and her dress sadly mired, she was otherwise unharmed by her experience.

  “I shall carry her back, Miss Shaw, and examine her when she’s safely in her bedchamber. Don’t look so concerned. She’s not unconscious, just deeply asleep,” Dr. Moorcroft said.

  “She looks so vulnerable, nothing like the fierce little girl I met a few weeks ago. I shall do what I can to make her last weeks with her family as happy as I can in the circumstances.”

  He nodded and set off at a brisk march towards the house so she was obliged to almost run in order to keep up with him. Something was not right between them. He had withdrawn from her. He had said he was prepared to wait for her. Was he having second thoughts? She didn’t blame him one jot; how could she expect such a personable gentleman to kick his heels for years waiting for his bride?

  Catching up, she touched his arm. “Please, can you slow down a little? There’s something I wish to ask you.” Immediately his pace slackened but he didn’t glance her way. “Isobel is not to be allowed back to Bentley Manor, but Sir John did not say she had to leave here on any particular date. Would it be possible for you to insist that the girls stay for several weeks?”

  “I can do that. Neither Beth nor Lorna are anything like fit enough to return. I can say there’s a risk of secondary infection, congestion of the lungs or some such nonsense.” He turned his head in her direction, and his lips curved slightly. “Isobel needs time to recover her equilibrium. If she’s sent away too soon it could destroy her.”

  “Thank you. I’m hoping Sir John will reconsider as his grief lessens. Lady Fenwick must want to come and visit; from what I’ve heard she’s the most devoted mother.”

  He paused, swung round to face her, Isobel held close to his heart. “She is indeed, but like any wife she’s obliged to do as h
er husband demands. Unless Sir John gives her permission, which I doubt he will do, she will be forced to remain in anguish in her empty home.” His face was bleak, unshed tears glittered; he was finding this situation as difficult as she.

  “We must make this a happy home for them. Together we can build up the girls spirits, persuade them all that Isobel going to school is not as bad as it seems—”

  “You’re talking fustian, Miss Shaw, and well you know it. Even little Beth understands this is the worst possible situation. For Isobel to be sent away, to be banished from her home, to not be able to see her siblings or parents for the foreseeable future…how can we tell them this is not so bad?”

  His raised voice woke the sleeping child. She turned her head and, seeing Sarah standing beside her, reached out and clasped her hand, her voice little more than a thread. “Miss Shaw, I should not have run away like that. I have been wicked. I killed my sister. I wish it had been I who died and not dearest Lottie.”

  Sarah stepped closer and took the girl from Adam’s arms. “Sweetheart, you must not blame yourself. When you ran off you were mischievous, no more. Good heavens, a dozen or more children from the village caught measles. Do you think they are blaming themselves for doing so?”

  Isobel clung to her. Her body convulsed with tears. “Papa blames me. He hates me now. I can never go back.”

  “Never is a long time, my love. All of you are hurting; in a few weeks things might well be different. You must be a brave girl, accept that you are going to school, but believe it will not be forever. You must prove to your parents you can be well-behaved, get an exemplary report, and then who knows?”

  “Do you really think so, Miss Shaw? I can be good, kind, and helpful. I will change, show everyone I am a good girl now.” She sighed and relaxed into Sarah’s arms, resting a wet cheek against her shoulder.