The Heroin Scene in Fort Myers

by Oliver Markus Malloy

  I flipped the fuck out! First I was speechless. Then I started screaming at them at the top of my lungs. But they were in a coma-like sleep. Nothing was going to wake them up right now.

  This is the kind of situation where people get killed. There are dozens of movies, books, and sad country songs about a guy walking in on his girl, in bed with some other guy, and going on a shooting rampage, killing them both in the heat of passion.

  For a minute there, I seriously thought about bashing their heads in with a blunt object. But then I figured they weren't worth it. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life in prison for killing some ghetto dope boy and a lowlife piece of shit whore.

  But I had to let my aggression out somehow, so I kicked the door while storming out of the bedroom. I destroyyyed that door.

  I was beside myself with hatred for Veronica. I was going to lose my mind. I felt like Veronica purposely looked for ways to inflict emotional pain on other people. She was a monster. It was as if she was actually trying as hard as she could to be the worst person on the planet. Every time I thought she couldn't stoop any lower, and the things she did to hurt me couldn't get any worse, she found a new way to hurt me even more.

  On the drive home, I called Veronica's probation officer and told him that she had been doing drugs the whole time, and that the only reason she had been passing her mandatory drug tests was because she hid a little 5 Hour Energy bottle with someone else's clean pee inside her vagina. He thanked me for the heads up and told me he would call her in for a drug test right now.

  When Veronica showed up at his office later that day, he told her that he knew she was hiding a bottle of clean pee, and that if she used it, she'd be tampering with evidence and she'd be committing a new felony. Instead of peeing, she ran away. Usually it takes a week or so for the probation violation paperwork to go through, but he issued her warrants the very same day. Veronica was going to be back in jail soon. Karma is a bitch!

  BACK TO JAIL

  "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Later that day, Veronica texted me: "Why did u do that? I love u! I thought we were going to have a baby together. Why would u send me back to jail?"

  I texted back: "Don't gimme that love bullshit. U fuck everything that has a pulse. U don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself. What the fuck did u think was gonna happen when I find u in bed with some nigger? U r lucky I didn't kill u, u cunt."

  I never really use slurs like nigger or cunt. I really don't curse a lot, unless I'm very upset. Unfortunately being very upset was the new normal, whenever I was around Veronica.

  The first time I had told Patty about Veronica, Patty had made snide remarks: "Oh, you found yourself another drug addict to replace Alice. Nice. I guess you like to torture yourself."

  "Veronica is different," I defended her. "She really wants to get clean. When she gets out of jail, she's going to the Salation Army rehab program. And after that she's going to live with me, and get her old job back as a medical insurance biller at her stepdad's doctor's office just down the street from my apartment."

  "No she won't," Patty replied. "I'm a drug counselor, remember? I've been dealing with these people for years. They're all the same. They are broken. And you can't fix them. Their brains don't work like your or my brain. They have criminal minds. You can never ever trust them. They always lie. They always try to con you. Even if she gets a job, she'll only use the time away from you to cheat on you. You will never be happy with her. Loving a drug addict is like hugging someone who has no arms. They can never hug you back. And Veronica will never love you back the way you love her. She can't. She's in love with her drugs."

  At the time, I thought Patty was just being mean, because she was jealous that I'd rather be with Alice or Veronica, than with her.

  But now it was like everything Veronica had done, since Patty told me that stuff, was an attempt to prove Patty right. It was a horrible feeling to love Veronica, and never be able to trust her for even a second. It was a given, that she would never do the right thing, whenever she was faced with any kind of decision. I got used to the fact that she would betray me every chance she got. How sad is it that that was normal to me?

  Actually finding Veronica in bed with someone else, seeing it with my own eyes, really drove it home. I was wounded to the core when I kicked that bedroom door and stormed out. I felt like I had reached the lowest point of my life.

  In a way, it almost felt like a good thing. Things could only get better from this point on, I told myself. Nothing and nobody could ever hurt me worse than this. I had been to the abyss, and survived. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. From now on, I was never going to allow another person to hurt me like this and get away with it. I promised myself if anyone hurt me, I would not forgive them, and I would not give them a second chance to hurt me again. Instead, I would punish them. My vengeance would be swift and fierce.

  All that sounded really impressive in my head. But then I forgave Veronica anyway. I know, I know, it was stupid. But the heart wants what the heart wants, as George always said, whenever I defied all common sense and forgave Veronica yet again.

  We talked on the phone and she cried so much, it melted my heart.

  "Do you still wanna have a baby with me?" I asked.

  "Yes, of course," she cried. "I love you."

  "I love you, too. How about we do what we planned to do in case you run away from the Salvation Army? You can come hide at my place until you're pregnant and showing, and then we hire a lawyer and get you house arrest instead of jail time," I suggested.

  I picked her up at her apartment a little while later. She packed her clothes and grabbed her little chihuahua, Venus. Veronica had named her dog after the goddess of love, because she had a heart-shaped spot on her forehead.

  On our way to my apartment, Veronica asked me to stop at Warren's house, to get drugs. She disappeared in there for about half an hour. I was really uncomfortable, and when she got out, I asked her if she had sex with him. "No, of course not! I don't have sex with Warren," she replied with an indignant tone of voice, as if I had just accused her of the craziest thing ever. For my sanity's sake, I chose to believe her. But a few weeks later, Anita told me that Veronica had sex with Warren all the time.

  When we got home, Veronica shot up some Ds and smoked crack. Then we made love.

  The next morning, Veronica's phone was ringing off the hook. It was her mother Rachel: "Where the hell is Venus? I want Venus back right now!"

  Venus was Veronica's chihuahua, but because she spent so much time in jail over the past 2 years, her mother had been taking care of the dog. A week or two after Veronica got out of jail, and she and Rachel hung out together at her new apartment on Brantley Road, her mother gave her the dog back. But now that Veronica had a warrant, and she was about to go back to jail, Rachel wanted Venus back.

  Veronica told some of her so-called friends, that she was hiding in Port Charlotte. She told her mother the same story. She didn't want anyone to know she was staying with me, so the police wouldn't find her here. But at the same time she was taking pictures of me cuddling with Venus on my couch, and texted them to her mother, to show her that Venus was ok. She was too high to realize that she was giving away her location.

  Then Rachel called me and asked: "Do you know where Venus is? I don't care where Veronica is. I don't give a shit if she is with you or anyone else. She can go fuck a truckload of Haitians for all I care. I just want Venus back!"

  I pretended not to know: "I have no idea where that stupid dog is. I found Veronica in bed with some guy, and I haven't talked to her since. I want nothing to do with her anymore. She's dead to me. The last I heard was that she's hiding in Port Charlotte somewhere."

  Of course Rachel knew I was lying, because Veronica had just texted her pictures of me and Venus five m
inutes ago. But I didn't know that yet.

  Rachel continued to call Veronica's phone. They kept arguing. Veronica told Rachel she would meet her at Starbucks at the Coconut Point Mall, and give her the dog.

  Then Veronica hung up and told me: "Venus is my dog! I have all the vet papers to prove she's my dog! I don't want to give her back. My mother is a crazy drunk. Venus is so much better off here with you and me."

  "Well, if she's your dog, then don't give her back," I said. "You don't have to give her back, if you don't want to."

  "I have to. My mom is psycho. She's not gonna stop. She's gonna keep causing problems for me. She's gonna make my life miserable, until I give her Venus," Veronica replied.

  "It's up to you, sweetie. Whatever you want to do," I said.

  She called her mother back and told her she would meet her at Starbucks with Venus. Then she changed her mind again. Then she smoked some crack. Then she argued with her mother again. This went on for hours.

  Then she finally told me to call her mother and tell her that I would meet her at the McDonald's on 41 near San Carlos Park.

  "If I call her and say that, your mom will know you're staying with me," I said.

  "Well, I've been sending her pictures of you and Venus all day long," Veronica replied.

  "What?!? Now she knows you're here and not in Port Charlotte. Why would you do that?"

  "I don't know. I wasn't really thinking about it. I just wanted to send her some pictures to show her that Venus is ok."

  "Geez! Great. Now she's probably gonna call the cops on you."

  "Nah, my mom is crazy, but she's not gonna do that."

  I called Rachel and said: "When I was staying at Veronica's place, I brought my Xbox. I left it there. I told her I want it back. She said that she'll give me my Xbox back, if I do her a favor and meet up with you and give you Venus. I just met up with Veronica, and she gave me the dog. So now I have Venus. Do you want me to meet you at the McDonald's in San Carlos?"

  Rachel was startled. This did not go as she had planned. Then she said: "You want to meet me alone? Without Veronica? Uhhm... no... I don't trust you... I don't want the dog from you... I want Veronica to bring me the dog."

  I hung up and told Veronica that I had a bad feeling about this. My instincts told me that Rachel was setting a trap for Veronica. She was probably going to have the police waiting at that McDonald's. I told her again that we should just keep the dog. Screw her mom.

  A few minutes later, Rachel called me back: "Ok, fine, I'll meet you at McDonald's."

  Veronica said good bye to Venus and handed her to me. I told Veronica to lock the door behind me, just to be safe. I got into the car and Veronica waved good bye. Venus stared at her through the car window and barked. I felt so bad, because I knew Veronica really loved that little dog. And I had gotten attached to her, too. Venus was shy at first, but then she warmed up to me and was all over me, cuddling with me and kissing my face. She was an awesome little dog.

  As soon as I pulled out of the gate of my community, there was already a police cruiser behind me. I got nervous. Was this just a coincidence, or had this cop been waiting for me inside of the community?

  As soon as I passed the gate, I made a left turn. The cruiser followed me and turned on his flashing lights. I pulled over. The cop got out of his car and walked up to my window. "Where's the female?" he demanded to know.

  I was shocked. Of course I knew he meant Veronica, but I tried to play stupid and slowly pointed at the female dog sitting next to me. "You mean her?"

  "Don't bullshit me. You know who I'm talking about. If you don't tell me right now where she is, I'll arrest you for aiding and abetting a fugitive," the cop said.

  Oh my God, I'm going to jail, I thought. It's finally gonna happen! After driving to trap houses a hundred times, I'm gonna end up getting arrested right in front of my own house. I was scared. "She's in my house," I said quietly. I tried to look calm, like I didn't have a care in the world, but my heart was pounding.

  By now three other police cruisers had pulled up behind us. This was turning into a major production. I felt like I was gonna be on the evening news, in handcuffs.

  "Give me your cell phone and the car keys," the cop demanded. Then he talked to the other cops. They took my keys and drove back into the community to arrest Veronica, while he waited with me.

  He asked me if there are any weapons in my apartment. I told him about my gun, but I stressed the fact that Veronica didn't know that I had one, or where it was. He warned the other cops that she may be armed and dangerous. I told him again that she didn't know about the gun. I was sweating bullets, because when a felon lives in a house with a gun, she is technically in possession of the gun. That's another felony right there. And they could have charged me with a felony for giving a gun to a felon.

  The cops went into my apartment and looked for Veronica, but they couldn't find her. They radioed the officer who was waiting with me. He asked me where she was hiding and if I had warned her. I told him no I didn't, I couldn't, because he had my cell phone.

  Then he looked at my phone and said that she was texting me. He read me her message: "Why would u do this to me? I love u! I thought u love me too."

  I felt so bad. I didn't want her to think I turned her in. Not now. We were finally getting along. We had been having a good time together for the past two days, while we were staying at my place with Venus. Things were finally starting to be the way I had always pictured them in my head. Veronica and me at home, spending some quality time together, without all these other crazy crackheads or dope boys.

  The other officers couldn't find Veronica, because she was hiding behind a closet door in my guest bathroom. When she texted me that message that the cop read to me, she also texted her mother, and told her that I had called the cops on her, that she was hiding in my bathroom, and that Rachel should come rescue her. But instead, Rachel told the cops where her daughter was hiding in my house.

  The other officers returned to my car and handed me my gun. They didn't charge Veronica or me with it. That was really nice of them. Then they told me: "We saw her crack pipe on your dining room table. If we don't find her, we will charge you with that pipe and take you in." Terrific! I knew it. I was going to jail today.

  Then their police radios crackled. The cops stepped away and talked on their radios and then to each other. They had gotten a call from their dispatcher, with new information from Rachel. That's when I realized what was going on: Rachel had told the cops hours ago that she would meet up with Veronica, and told them to arrest her, because she had a warrant. So for the past few hours, the cops had been waiting at Starbucks, and then later at McDonald's, to arrest Veronica, just like I had thought. But when I told Rachel I was going to meet her alone, the cops came to my house and waited for me.

  We all went back to my place. The cops told me to go get Veronica out of the bathroom. She cried and told me to go away. I felt terrible. I just wanted to give her a hug, and make it all better somehow, but the cops followed me into the bathroom and arrested her.

  "Will you please tell her it wasn't me?" I begged the officer who grabbed her.

  "It really wasn't him," the cop assured Veronica and then took her outside. All the officers left. It still didn't really sink in yet what just happened.

  I went into the living room. Venus was hiding under the table. One of the cops came back and said Rachel was on her way here to pick up the dog.

  "I don't want her here," I told him. "I can't stand that woman. She's the reason why Veronica is an addict. And I can't believe she would do THIS to her."

  "If you don't give her the dog, she might press charges for theft," the officer replied.

  I wasn't in the mood to argue. I was stressed out enough already. "Alright fine. But you give her the dog. I don't even want to look at that woman right now."

  The cop tried to help me catch Venus, but she was too quick. She kept hiding under the dining room table, then squirreled her way be
hind the couch, then around the living room table back under the dining room table. "Ah, fuck it. Ok, tell Rachel she can come get the dog," I said. The officer left. Venus calmed down a bit, and I was able to catch her. I had her in my arms, when Rachel came knocking. I opened the door and handed her the dog.

  "Ohhh hiii Oliver," she said in this fake friendly tone of voice that made me want to kick her in the ovaries. "Thank you sooo muuuch for taking care of Venus for me!"

  I didn't say anything. God, I hated that cunt. The officer who accompanied Rachel said: "Veronica left her crack pipe and needle lying around your house. We didn't charge you with it this time, but you better get rid of that stuff right away."

  A few minutes later, Rachel knocked on my door again: "Oh, can I have Veronica's phone pleaseee?"

  I really didn't want to give it to her, but it was lying right there on the kitchen counter, in plain sight of the officer who accompanied her again. I handed it to her without saying a word.