The Goddess and The Vampire

by Jon Herrera

Chapter Twenty-Four

  I called Andy and he said that he was home, since it was early and he didn’t plan any serious hanging out at the Vampire Consulate until around midnight.

  Andy lived in a trailer park and had a nice double wide with a small covered porch off to one side. A large lantern shaped bug zapper was doing its noisy work at the trailer’s end. We could hear Hank Williams, Jr through the thin walls as we walked up to the door and knocked on the glass.

  Andy invited us in, we sat on the western style couch with its oversized wooden arms and wagon wheel patterned fabric. Katie looked around the place with her mouth open and her eyes wide. Andy’s home was a bit different from the Mansion and of course, I had no idea what her real home had been like. Clearly, it didn’t have the same Roy Rogers flare of Andy’s place..

  “Can I get you a soda, Katie?” Andy said from the kitchen, which was a few feet away behind a counter. “Or some ice cream?”

  “You can’t seduce me with ice cream.” Katie said in a grumpy voice and crossed her arms. “What kind of ice cream?”

  I watched as Andy and Katie ate small bowls of Cookies and Cream ice cream and discussed their favorite flavors. It gave me enough time to think about what I needed to do, but not enough time to actually come up with any solutions.

  “So, no luck in corralling Kilestra?” Andy said as he set aside his empty bowl. “No big surprise there.”

  “I still need to figure out some way to keep Gerald from turning in Jake.” I said and ran my fingers over my beard.

  “Kilestra and Gerald don’t exactly run in the same circles, do they?” Andy said and pressed his lips together.

  “They’ve met once or twice.” I said. “But they’re not fast friends as far as I know.”

  “Then all we need is a vampire that sort of looks like Kilestra.” Andy said. “I have someone in mind.”

  “You know a vampire that looks like Kilestra?” I said and tried to think of who it might be.

  “The woman vampire at the Detail Shop was about the right size and build.” Andy said and nodded. “Dress her in black and have her fluff her hair out a bit and she could pass for Kilestra.”

  “Kilestra isn’t black.” I said, but the more I thought about it, the more I could see the woman hidden in the shadows passing as Kilestra. “But maybe Gerald never looked at her that closely.”

  “You think Gerald wouldn’t notice someone’s race?” Katie said and let her eyebrows shoot up. “Didn’t he fight on the Confederate side?”

  “He was on the right side in the War of Northern Aggression.” Andy said and placed a hand over his heart as he looked at a small scale Bars and Stars mounted on the wall. Katie and I both stared at him and he scratched an itch on his chest.

  “I guess if Andy thinks this vampire looks like Kilestra.” Katie said. “Gerald will too.”

  Andy had Honey’s number stored on his phone and I called her and asked if I could talk to the woman vampire that had been playing dominoes.

  “Oh, that’s how it is, huh?” Honey said in her best offended voice. “I keep you alive, but all you care about is Dishamar.”

  “You know I enjoyed our time together, Honey.” I said and poured a tiny amount of power through the connection. “And I look forward to our next time, but right now I need to talk to Dishamar.”

  “Well, alright.” Honey said and handed the phone off.

  “Yeah?” Dishamar said and I could tell she was still concentrating on her game.

  “Hey, this is Wil.” I said and tried for casual. “I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor.”

  “Hmm, there’s a shock.” Dishamar said and twisted her lips. “That psycho Kilestra finally turn you out?”

  “Funny you should mention her.” I said and laid out the basics of the plan.

  “Kilestra and I happen to have the same tailor.” Dishamar said in a tone that dared me to not believe her. “You can pick me up in an hour and you’re gonna owe me for this.”

  After I hung up, I called Gerald and told him to meet me at the Mansion so I could turn Kilestra over to him.

  “This better not be some kind of trick.” Gerald said and hung up.

  We took the Dodge and headed for the Detail Shop. I stopped under the awning and went inside. Honey was doing her nails, but stopped when she saw me. She walked over with a maximum amount of swing in her hip and twinkle in her eye. I couldn’t help but smile at her. She gave me a hug and I returned her embrace. She turned her head and brought her neck toward me. I kissed her, took just a little sip, and shared just a little power. After feeding on Katie, I really wasn’t up for much more. Honey rubbed her neck and smiled at me.

  “You can take more than that if you like.” Honey said and wiggled in a way I found very interesting. “You know where to find me.”

  “Now you went and turned Honey into a blood slut.” The male vampire said as he walked over to me. “How am I supposed to keep her happy now?”

  “Hush, Bruce.” Honey said and slapped Bruce on the chest. “You know he’s not about to take me home with him. We’re just playing around a little.”

  “Uh-huh.” Bruce said and looked me in the eye. “When can I expect you to return Dishamar? We’re in the middle of a game, you know.”

  “All goes well in an hour or so.” I said.

  “I’ve heard tales about you, Master Walengrave.” Bruce said and shook his head. “When does anything go well for you?”

  “I’ll be fine.” Dishamar said as she walked out of a back room. “Stop your fretting.”

  I nodded my approval and had to admit Dishamar made a damned fine Kilestra. Her hair was a little too puffy and her hips were a tad wide, but she could have fooled me in the right light and I knew Kilestra a lot better than Gerald did.

  “I didn’t know this was going to be a party.” Dishamar said as she slid into the front seat and looked at Katie and Andy in the back. “An Elf and a redneck, perfect backup.”

  “They’ll do.” I said and handed her my silver plated handcuffs. She slid them onto her wrists and then did a slight of hand trick that made them fall into her lap. “I’m guessing you already have a key, then?”

  We made it across town and to the bottom of my driveway without incident. Gerald was sitting behind the wheel of his ’63 Corvette. He got out to meet us, but didn’t move too far from his beloved car.

  Katie pulled her hoodie off and showed that she was wearing a 1950s poodle skirt and a white sweater. She had her hair in a ponytail and was carrying a Big Chief tablet held to her chest. She swayed her hips as she walked up to Gerald and looked at him with a sly smile. I felt that little wave of lust flow out of her. Gerald stared at her and then looked my way.

  “What the hell is this?” Gerald said and pointed at Katie. “You seriously think your little Elf can distract me?”

  “Oh.” Katie said and rubbed Gerald’s letter jacket. “What position do you play?”

  “Quarterback, of course.” Gerald said and puffed out his chest as he struck a throwing pose. “You like football?”

  “I like football players.” Katie said and watched as Andy snuck around the other side of the ’63 Corvette. Gerald began to regale Katie with the tale of the State Championship game where it came down to the final two minutes and it was up to him to throw the winning touchdown. Andy crouched by the rear wheel well and placed a small metallic object inside with a loud magnetic click. But Gerald was at the crucial part of the story where he lobbed the game winner and didn’t hear it. Andy snuck back to the Dodge unnoticed.

  “Oh.” Katie said and jumped up and down. “That must have been so exciting.”

  “What to hear another one?” Gerald said and pointed to the many Texas shaped patches on the sleeves of his letter jacket.

  “I don’t want to get over excited.” Katie said and headed back toward me. “Maybe later.”

  “Hey.” Gerald said and raised his hands in confusion. “Where are you going?”

  “I thought you were
here for a prisoner pickup.” I said and got Gerald’s attention. “Not an Elf pickup.”

  “Yeah, that’s right. Is that Kilestra?” Gerald said and looked at the dark figure sitting in the Dodge’s front seat. “I’m not getting a lot of energy from her.”

  “I gave her some copal.” I said with a shrug. “She’s not feeling all that energetic.”

  “Huh.” Gerald said and nodded. “I knew you were going to use some trick on her.”

  I motioned for Katie and Andy to bring her over. Dishamar held her head down and shuffled her feet as if she couldn’t hold her own weight. Andy opened the door and put her in the Vette’s passenger seat. Gerald was radiating so much happiness it almost made me feel sorry for him. Almost.

  “Put your thumbprint on this.” I said and held my tablet out toward Gerald.

  “For what?” Gerald said and squinted at the small print on the display.

  “It says that you swear you put yourself at the bottom of Lake Worth and that you hold no one else responsible.” I said and held it toward him again.

  “Fine.” Gerald said and pressed his thumb to the digital document. “I got what I wanted.”

  Gerald hopped into his car and started around the loop that would lead him back to the main road. We got in the Dodge and followed. Andy took a military looking Remote Detonator out of the pocket of his denim jacket. He flipped up a large cover plate that allowed him access to an oversized black button.

  “This should slow him down.” Andy said and pressed the button with a solid click. “I only used a small charge.”

  We were following a few cars back when what looked like a supernova erupted in the back of Gerald’s pristine 1963 Corvette Stingray. It spun around in a circle like a pinwheel firework and came to a stop when it crashed into a light pole. Gerald stumbled away from the flaming wreck with a look of horror on his face. Dishamar ran from the wreckage and stopped near Gerald. She also stood watching the burning car with a stunned look on her face.

  A small yellow car streaked by us and screeched to a stop next to Dishamar. Izumi got out and held a small shiny object I recognized as one of her vampire power zappers. She slapped it against Dishamar’s chest. The vampire sagged and Izumi pushed her into the Gremlin’s back seat. A moment later the door slammed shut and the small car sped away from the flaming remains into the night. Gerald had a shell-shocked look on his face. A moment later, his shoulders started to shake as he began to cry.

  “Well, damn.” Andy said. “I guess I used a little too much C4.”

  “You think?” Katie said and looked over at Andy. “That was a nice car.”

  “Well.” I said and shook my head. “It’s not a nice car now.”

  I made a turn at the next corner and headed back toward Andy’s place. I dropped him off and thought about where to go next.

  “Raoul and Izumi stopped by the Mansion last night.” Katie said and took her headphones off. “They wanted to take your Mom with them, but I convinced them to leave her alone.”

  “And you didn’t think to mention this earlier?” I said. “Is everyone alright?”

  “Yeah, they’re fine.” Katie said and fiddled with her cell phone. “Your Mom convinced your Grandfather to stay at the Mansion for a few nights. Your Father didn’t look up from the book he was reading.”

  “Good to know.” I said. “Now all I have to worry about is what they’ll do to Dishamar.”

  “She can take care of herself.” Katie said and rolled a shoulder. “Besides, they’ll see she’s not Kilestra soon enough.”

  I DROVE BACK to the Mansion and sat in the Dodge for a few minutes. I sent out a few feelers to see if anyone was lurking in the woods and didn’t find anything. Not that I was good at that kind of thing, but it made me feel better.

  Katie and I walked into the lower rooms I called my own and found things had been rearranged. The sofas were pushed away from the wall, the end tables were turned over, the drawers on the one dresser were pulled out and the contents spilled on the floor. I didn’t have a lot of furniture, so there was not a lot to mess up.

  “So Raoul and Izumi were looking for something?” I said and looked at Katie.

  “I don’t think it was them.” Katie said. “They never got this far.”

  I moved from the kitchen to the bathroom to the crypt where my coffin took up most of the floor space. These were not large rooms, but then, I didn’t need a lot of open space. I looked at Katie and her Woodland Elf grace and beauty. How did she feel about living in a basement? Of course, she had her days to herself and could run around in the sun all she wanted.

  “Your Mother is fixing me a space near the pool.” Katie said and looked at something on her phone. “Just some place where I can keep my clothes and gather the odds and ends a person likes to collect. A computer, a few books, maybe a stereo.”

  “No TV?” I said and noticed for the first time how there wasn’t much in the way of entertainment in my space. “Do you want me to help you pick out a bed?”

  “I’m not sure I want one of those gothic four poster jobs like your Mother has.” Katie said and went around straightening the items that had been disturbed. “But it would be nice to have something to lie down on. You know, besides the cold, hard floor.””

  Mother entered the room and looked around at the mess; she instantly went to work straightening the opposite side of the room Katie was working on. They had it back to normal in short order, as I said, there wasn’t that much to disturb. Mother dusted her hands and looked at me seriously.

  “Your Grandfather is out on a date with that vampire.” Mother said and crossed her arms. “I’m worried that they are up to no good.”

  “WELL, I DON’T think they’re robbing banks.” I said as I followed Mother up to the living room. “And they are both well past the age of consent.”

  “She’s not that far past the age of consent.” Mother said and took a seat where she could see the front door. “She’s just a child. She was twenty when she was turned and she’s only been a vampire for ten years. What could she possibly see in your Grandfather?”

  “He gives good back rubs.” Katie said.

  “I see I’m going to have to keep an eye on you as well.” Mother said and narrowed her eyes at Katie. “I thought you belonged to Wil.”

  “He just gave me a back rub.” Katie said and shook her head. “And I do belong to Wil, but it’s not like I want to do nothing but stand over his coffin all day. He told me to do what I want during the day.”

  “Well.” Mother said and frowned. “I don’t want you doing my father.”

  Katie looked at me and rolled her eyes. I shrugged. Katie put her headphones on and wandered out of the room.

  “I was thinking about letting her have the Study.” Mother said and looked in the direction that Katie had gone. “The poor thing didn’t even have a bag when she moved in. Not even a change of clothes. I had to take her shopping and get her everything from underwear to shoes. You know what she wanted to buy? New headphones.”

  “Buy her whatever she wants.” I said and considered the Study. It was a narrow room with built-in bookcases and a fireplace at one end. The floor to ceiling windows looked out on the courtyard. “Isn’t Father using the Study as his office?”

  “Not really.” Mother said and moved her hair behind her ear. “We have offices at the University, he mainly uses the Study when he wants to show off for some big wig on the Faculty, I don’t think he’ll miss it. Besides, he’s as smitten with that Elf as every man who meets her. He’d let her have the Master Bedroom if she asked for it.”

  “I think she might be a little homesick.” I said and reached over and patted Mother’s knee. “Fix the room up for her, try and make it feel like a place where an Elf would feel at home.”

  “Of course, Dear.” Mother said and laid her hand on top of mine. “I’ll take care of it.”

  I leaned forward and put my mouth to her neck. She smelled good and tasted even better. The cure I’d gotte
n during my escape from Raoul and Izumi had worked. I fed on Mother and poured my power into her. It was good for both of us.

  It was getting close to sunrise when the front door opened and Grandfather walked in. He had a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He saw us and walked over.

  “What have you been doing?” Mother said as she stood up and looked Grandfather in the eye. “No, don’t answer that.”

  “Tiffany is a sweet girl.” Grandfather said and stumbled a bit. “But she has a lot to learn. She never even listened to the Beatles. What kind of person doesn’t listen to the Beatles?”

  “Are you drunk?” Mother said and leaned in close to smell his breath. “This is Tiffany’s doing, isn’t it?”

  “She’s never been with someone like me before.” Grandfather said and smiled. “My blood made her happy and in return she made me happy.”

  “I think you should go to bed now.” Mother said and took his arm to help steer him.

  “I was in bed earlier.” Grandfather said and laughed softly. “That’s how I got this way.”

  “Oh, hush.” Mother said and waved Goodnight to me as they walked off.

  “He did more than give you a back rub.” I said to Katie as she snuck back into the living room. “Didn’t he?”

  “He’s sweet.” Katie said and pulled her hoodie down so I couldn’t see her face. “And he certainly wanted to do more, but I would never betray you, not even with the people I share you with.”

  “It’s almost sunrise.” I said and headed down to the basement. Katie followed me and took a seat in her corner. She put on her headphones and nodded her head. I got into my coffin and waited for death to arrive.

  Katie’s phone rang. I heard Jake’s voice. She opened the coffin and handed me her phone.

  “If you’re waiting for me to rescue you from the sun.” I said and checked the Sunrise app on Katie’s phone. “You’ve cut it too close for me to help you this time.”

  “I think I’m going to be ok.” Jake said and sounded a bit upset. “But I have some bad news for you. Someone came in and took that painting of your little Elf Goddess.”

  “Someone broke in and stole it?” I said and thought about the security at the Nightshade. “You don’t have any security, do you?”

  “Never needed it.” Jake said and could hear him grinding his teeth. “Someone just walked in and walked out with it. I didn’t even notice it was missing until I was running the end of night numbers. I looked up and it was gone.”

  Before I could form a list of suspects, the sun rose and all my problems were over for another day.

  I CAME TO life and heard voices in the next room. It was Grandfather and Katie. I went out to see what they were talking about.

  “That Tiffany could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.” Grandfather said and whistled appreciatively. “A useful skill for a vampire and one that I was greatly impressed by.”

  “You’ve moved over to the realm of Too Much Information.” Katie said and wrinkled her nose. “Hey, Master, your Grandfather was just telling me about his date with Tiffany.”

  “Chrome off a trailer hitch, huh?” I said and nodded. “Sounds like my kind of girl.”

  “Pa-lease.” Katie said and rolled her eyes.

  “Don’t you feel like you’re taking advantage of Tiffany?” I said to Grandfather.

  “Nah.” He said and laughed. “I’m kind of training her in the ways of the vampire. She’s still young enough to think she’s gonna rule the world one of these days.”

  “Stranger things have happened.” Katie said in a world-weary voice that didn’t fit her youthful appearance.

  “Yeah.” Grandfather said and looked my way. “Tiffany’s swinging by to pick me up. I’ll try not to be so late tonight.”

  Katie and I watched him head up the stairs. I tried not to think about the things that Grandfather might think it's important for a young vampire to know.

  Katie handed me a phone to replace the one I’d lost to Raoul and Izumi. It was thin and shiny and looked expensive. My old phone had been a flip phone without any bells or whistles. I would need to read a book to learn how to use this one. Maybe two.

  “I already transferred all your contacts in.” Katie said and fiddled with the phone in a confusing combination of slides and pans and scrolls. She showed a screen with a list of names. I pressed Sally’s name and the phone placed the call for me.

  “Yes?” Sally said in her business voice.

  “Hey.” I said and cleared my throat, which was amplified in a most unpleasant way by the phone. “Sorry. Are you going to be at the Coffee Spot later?”

  “Yeah.” Sally said. “I’ll be there. It’s closed while they finish resurfacing the parking lot, but I’ll be doing some book keeping. Come by whenever you want and I can take a break for a few.”

  I fiddled with the phone but couldn’t figure out how to do anything other than make the screen light up. Katie went through the process of reaching the list of names again, being careful to go slowly and let me see what she was doing. It still left my head spinning. I pressed Andy’s number and waited for him to answer.

  “I was just thinking about you.” Andy said. “I just got a call from Honey. She said Dishamar came in late last night.”

  “Was she alright?” I said and listened to the sounds of a Western playing in the background.

  “Yeah, she’s fine.” Andy said in a dismissive tone. “Honey said something about adding this to your tab and I said I’d pass along the message.”

  I managed to get almost all the way through to the list of names before I found myself playing some kind of game that involved connecting dots. Katie took the phone from my hand and quickly got me back to the contact list. I pressed the button for Billy and wasn’t too surprised to get a message that said the number I was trying to reach was temporarily unavailable. Well, I’d just have to stop by later and see how they were doing.

  Katie came over and hugged me. Once again, I had to remind myself she was as old as I was and not some child that needed protecting. Of course, there was nothing wrong with wanting to protect her. I held her for a few seconds and then moved away. She brushed her hair to one side and offered me her neck. I gave her a kiss just below her ear and then smiled at her.

  “I fed on you last night.” I said and slapped her ass. “I need to attend to Mother and Father tonight.”

  Katie let her hair fall back into place. She slid her headphones up and tugged at the strings of her hood until it tightened around her face. She sat on the sofa and bobbed her head to the music. I smiled down at her for a moment and then went looking for my parents.

  I fed on Mother and Father and gave them a bit of my attention for an hour or so. They were now fully restored to their normal selves, as was Grandfather. I listened to their stories about the dim students that made it into college these days and how Father was having a hard time finding a publisher for his latest book on the War of 1812. Mother’s latest collection of short stories was selling well on Amazon and iTunes. Mother said she would find suitable furniture for Katie’s room.

  “I don’t think I should have to give up my Study.” Father said and busied himself filling a Briarwood pipe. “Are you even sure she’s staying? There’s something odd about that girl.”

  “At first I thought she was going to be a lot of fun to have around.” Mother said and lowered her head to peek at me from under her eyebrows. She twisted her mouth into a sexy pout. “But now I’m not so sure. If anything she seems to have turned you into a monk.”

  “I’m not a monk.” I said and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. “I just didn’t want to kill you. I’m also a bit busy at the moment.”

  “You’ve never been this ‘busy’ before.” Father said and blew out a puff of vanilla scented smoke. “And now you have us shopping for her. You haven’t finished restoring the Mansion yet, but you can afford to buy this stranger new clothes and furniture.”

  “She not a stranger.” I said a
nd headed for the bedroom door. “Not anymore.”

  “Now you’ve upset him.” Mother said and reached over and pushed Father in the shoulder. “It’s so nice to have you with us, we’ve missed you.”

  “No offense, Son.” Father said and brushed off a few ashes that had fallen when Mother hit him. “If you love her, we love her as well.”

  “I have to meet Sally.” I said and pulled my shirt on. “Don’t wait up.”