Falling For The Single Dad Surgeon (A Summer In São Paulo Book 2)

by Charlotte Hawkes

  ‘I had a teaching operation to get to,’ he said over his shoulder, still not turning.

  ‘You heard our conversation, didn’t you.’ It was phrased as a question but it was more of a statement. ‘From the gallery.’

  He exhaled deeply.

  ‘I heard most of it.’

  ‘You heard him say that he never talked about his mother because he was upset that it hurt you too much.’

  The admission had walloped into him hard enough when he’d heard it come out of his nephew’s mouth. Coming out of Flávia’s mouth, it lacerated just as much.

  ‘I heard,’ he managed thickly.

  ‘And?’

  ‘And?’ he managed incredulously, finally turning around.

  ‘Yes.’ She gazed at him evenly. ‘And...?’

  ‘How do you think it feels?’ he growled.

  ‘Why don’t you try telling me?’

  All of a sudden he realised what she was doing. He snorted. Loudly.

  ‘You really think me telling you how guilty, how bad, I feel will suddenly put me in touch with feelings we both know I don’t have?’

  ‘Don’t you think it might be a start?’ she challenged. And suddenly, he couldn’t argue with her.

  Or maybe you don’t want to argue with her?

  ‘Fine,’ he shot at her. ‘I feel like crap. I just had to listen to my seven-year-old nephew say that he has been hiding a box of memories of his mummy because he was trying to protect me. When I’m the one who is supposed to be protecting him.’

  ‘So talk to him about it.’

  ‘You don’t think I’ve tried? I can’t—I think that much should be obvious to you by now.’

  ‘Didn’t your parents teach you never to believe in that word can’t?’

  ‘My parents didn’t teach me much at all. They expected the private school Helen and I attended to do that. But sure, I never believed in that word up to ten months ago, only now I do. If you hadn’t been there today, I still wouldn’t know any of those things he said. So, I can’t talk to Brady. I don’t know how to.’

  ‘Then learn,’ she bit out. ‘You’re bright—heck, you’re a top oncologist. You can learn if you want to, and that little boy needs you to learn. He needs you to take care of him.’

  ‘And I will. Materially, anyway.’

  She snorted, throwing her hands up in the air.

  ‘He needs more than that. He needs your love, Jake.’

  ‘And I can’t do that. Helen knew that, but she entrusted Brady to me, anyway.’

  ‘She also believed in you enough to think that you could learn.’

  ‘She was wrong.’

  ‘Is this because of your parents? Is what Brady said about them true?’

  He didn’t want to answer her—it wasn’t any of her business. But the closer Flávia got, the more she pushed, the less wound up he seemed to feel. She had an uncanny knack of highlighting his shortcomings, yet simultaneously make him feel as though she could help solve them.

  It made no sense.

  ‘They did their duty by us. Neither Helen nor I were ever hurt or mistreated by them.’

  ‘That’s basically what Brady said. But it doesn’t fully answer the question, does it?’

  ‘It isn’t relevant,’ he deflected.

  ‘We both know that it is. Unless you’re happy with your relationship with your nephew, that is. And we both know that you aren’t.’

  ‘Well, talking about it isn’t going to change that, is it?’

  Jake didn’t know what he expected her to say, but it wasn’t what she came out with.

  ‘You’re right. I can’t tell you how to treat Brady, how to connect with him. But maybe I can show you.’

  ‘Show me?’ he echoed sceptically.

  ‘He loves animals, and the natural world. Why not let me take you both into the rainforest for a day or two? Doing something new like that, something he loves but with which he has no residual memories of his mother, might help the two of you connect. Build some memories of your own.’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ The refusal was out before he’d even engaged his brain.

  ‘Why not? Brady would love it!’

  Jake opened his mouth to reply, but couldn’t bring himself to tell her that he’d heard the rumours about the way she risked her life. He didn’t want to say that he was worried she would risk Brady’s.

  He found he didn’t want to hurt her.

  So what did that say?

  ‘I’m not exactly an authority on the rainforest. I wouldn’t know how to keep myself safe, so how can I keep a seven-year-old safe?’

  She wrinkled her nose and, without warning, looked awkward, and he would have given anything to know what she was thinking in that instant.

  ‘Then why not try smaller?’ she suggested after a moment.

  ‘Smaller?’

  ‘My sister is having a barbecue at the weekend. There’ll be lots of people there, but especially my family. My nieces. Brady said he didn’t have many friends at his new school and I wonder how much is Brady’s lack of confidence. Julianna and Marcie are sweet, and funny, and friendly. They would love Brady, and you can help him to get out of himself, and start building new, positive experiences with you. It might even take some of the pressure off you so that you can find a way to let the kid in.’

  ‘You’re inviting me to a family barbecue?’

  She huffed as though she was irritated, but he could see her level of discomfort grow.

  ‘From everything I said, that’s the point you’re hung up on?’

  ‘I’m just trying to establish exactly what it is you’re suggesting.’

  ‘I’m trying to help your nephew,’ she snapped, a little too tightly.

  He should refuse. They’d had a one-night stand; he wasn’t looking to make some kind of relationship out of it. And yet, the idea of going was more appealing than it ought to be.

  ‘I’m not using Brady to try to score points with you,’ she added, bristling.

  ‘I know,’ he replied, and the odd thing was that he did know.

  The more worrying point was that he found he was slightly disappointed that she wasn’t looking for some kind of excuse, though.

  * * *

  As Jake leaned against the wall, the cool of the concrete seeping through to his shoulder, and watched Brady trailing happily around the garden with Flávia’s nieces, Julianna and Marcie, it wasn’t all that hard to admit that Flávia had been right.

  Watching Brady relax, and gain acceptance with his peers, did somehow help him to feel more relaxed. Less pressured. And all the trio were doing was wandering around the garden, their heads pressed tightly together.

  Brady would listen avidly as they taught him the Portuguese names of different plants and insects, then he would teach the girls the Latin names where he knew them. Otherwise, all three children would huddle around the phone he had lent them as they looked up the missing, vital information.

  Emotions tumbled through him, almost too fast to separate them, but for the first time he was beginning to think he could see a way to connect with his nephew. At long last. He sighed to himself. It was a complicated business, looking after a child. The struggles he’d had with Brady these past ten months had given him a new appreciation for all his sister had contended with, all these years as a single mother. And it augmented his sense of guilt that he should have reached out to her more over the past few years.

  Was it self-deceptive to think if he had done that, Helen might still be alive today?

  Possibly. But it didn’t stop the thought from lurking there, in the back of his head.

  ‘He looks happy.’

  Jake turned at the sound of Maria’s voice. Her voice was so similar to Flávia’s, with basically identical intonations and emphases, and yet even from a distance he k
new instantly who was talking in any given conversation. As though his whole being was programmed to tune into Flávia and no one else.

  Already.

  Which might have sounded alarm bells if he hadn’t pretended to ignore it.

  ‘Yes, he does.’ Jake turned back to watch his nephew. ‘Thanks again for inviting us here. I know Patricia does her best to entertain him, but it’s not the same.’

  With a soft smile, Maria leaned on the concrete pillar opposite his and took a sip of wine.

  ‘I don’t doubt it. And, as for the invitation, that was all Livvy,’ she confessed, and he loved the affection in the nickname Maria had for her sister.

  The woman paused as though thinking twice about something, then seemed to decide to say it, anyway.

  ‘I think Brady reminds her of herself.’

  Jake frowned.

  ‘She said something like that before, but I didn’t understand it.’

  He didn’t realise he was waiting, almost on edge, hoping for more than this unexpected scrap of information relating to Flávia, until Maria shrugged almost dismissively.

  ‘It’s hard to describe. It isn’t anything I could put my finger on, just the little things. The things that make her stand out from the average person now were the things which made it hard for her to make friends in school. I suspect you know what I mean, though.’

  It didn’t even begin to answer all the questions he realised he had about Flávia. But he told himself that was no bad thing. He shouldn’t care, anyway. That one night had been...extraordinary. To match the unique Flávia. But it had to remain a one-off. It couldn’t happen again.

  For Brady’s sake, he wouldn’t allow it.

  Just for Brady? a voice needled. But Jake ignored it.

  ‘That said,’ Maria continued, ‘I don’t see him having any trouble with my girls.’

  ‘No, they’re getting along really well,’ he acknowledged, surprised. ‘I think coming here has been the best move I could have made for Brady.’

  ‘I take it you didn’t want to?’ Maria asked. ‘Livvy strong-armed you?’

  ‘Maybe a little.’ Although a part of him had been only too happy to let her. ‘Turns out she was right, though.’

  ‘Yeah, she has a maddening ability to do that.’ The quiet laugh filled the air around them. So like Flávia’s, and yet it didn’t crawl inside him the way her laughter did. As though it was filling him from the inside out.

  ‘Was she always so maddening?’ he asked.

  ‘You’d better believe it.’ Maria laughed. ‘The scrapes I had to get her out of when we were kids. She was so intolerant of others, saying exactly what she thought with no filter. Papai told me that it was my role to be her protector and so I did. She never thanked me for it.’

  ‘I bet.’

  He was soaking up the information with a thirst that shouldn’t quite fit, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to know more about Flávia. As if it could somehow sate that ache inside him.

  The...yearning he hadn’t been able to quench ever since that night in his suite.

  ‘Brady gets into fights in school,’ he made himself say, as if reminding himself why he was supposed to be at Flávia’s family’s house in the first place. ‘I thought it was a result of the trauma he has gone through with his mother’s death, and having to move schools, and be in London with me. But it turns out he always had some problems, even at his old school. Nothing serious, you understand. And it isn’t as though he can’t make any friends.’

  ‘He’s just intolerant of so-called idiots in his class?’ Maria guessed. ‘Those who don’t want to learn and so disrupt the class?’

  ‘To the extent where he stands up and tries to give them punishments, as though he’s the teacher.’

  Maria threw her head back and emitted a happy, infectious laugh.

  ‘Yeah, that’s just like Livvy.’

  ‘She offered to take Brady into the rainforest, you know.’ The words were out before Jake could second-guess himself. ‘With me, of course.’

  ‘I think Brady would really like that.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘But...?’ Maria prompted lightly when he didn’t elaborate. ‘You clearly have reservations.’

  Jake stared across the garden. This was arguably dangerous ground; he risked offending Maria, and ultimately Flávia. But he had to ask. This was potentially his nephew’s safety at stake.

  ‘I’ve heard the stories—’ he pulled a face ‘—that Flávia can be reckless.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘I don’t like rumours. But if it’s true that she spent a year handling vipers even when she knew there wasn’t enough antivenom on hand in the event that she got bitten, how can it be responsible of me to let her take us into that kind of environment?’

  He didn’t realise how badly he’d wanted to hear Maria laugh and declare it to be absolute rubbish until she stayed silent, the air thickening around them with every passing moment.

  Suddenly, his shoulder felt like a block of ice, frozen tightly to the cold, concrete pillar. He, who was rarely wrong about anything in his life, had never wished he could be more wrong than he did in this instant.

  ‘So it’s also true that she ended up getting bitten?’

  The silence seemed to grow heavier somehow. And louder. Or perhaps that was just his own blood, thundering through his veins.

  And then, at last, Maria spoke.

  ‘You really should speak to Livvy about that.’

  Silence weaved around him for a moment. Then he offered a tight nod.

  ‘I’m the closest thing Brady has to a father right now. And you have two kids of your own. So I’m asking you.’

  Another beat. Then Maria scrunched up her face.

  ‘I can tell you this,’ she told him firmly. ‘My sister is passionate, and focused, and driven. And maybe she does take occasional risks when it comes to her own life out there. But she has never, ever taken a risk with someone else’s life.’

  ‘I don’t know that it helps,’ Jake began, finding he had to fight to try to get his head around Maria’s words.

  ‘Then maybe this will. I know what Livvy does can be dangerous. A matter of life and death, even. And sometimes I do look out at the jungle when I know she’s in there, wondering if she’s going to come back safely. But I’ve never once felt that way when she’s been out there with one of my girls.’

  ‘She takes Julianna and Marcie?’

  ‘She does,’ Maria declared. ‘She and Papai have taken the girls out there at least twice this past year. And on those occasions, I never looked out over that rainforest and wondered if they were okay. Because I knew that she would take care of my daughters in a way she never thinks to take care of herself.’

  ‘I see.’ He nodded slowly. ‘I just didn’t think of it that way. Flávia told me that she was the fun aunt. I guess I assumed that also meant...’

  ‘That she wasn’t entirely responsible with them?’

  He eyed her sharply but there was no judgement in Maria’s expression.

  ‘I suppose.’

  ‘I understand why,’ she continued. ‘But no, that isn’t what Livvy is like at all. That’s what Enrico couldn’t seem to get his head around.’

  ‘Enrico?’

  ‘Her ex-fiancé.’ Maria rolled her eyes. ‘Idiot man.’

  It was irrational. And insane. But jealousy swept through him like a tsunami, and even though he tried to pull himself up, it was too late. He’d waded in too deep and now he couldn’t get out.

  ‘Who’s an idiot man?’

  They both swung around at the sound of Flávia’s voice.

  ‘Boy, do you both look guilty.’ She tried for a laugh when they didn’t answer. ‘Never mind. You don’t have to tell me.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to.’ Maria laughed at l
ast as she turned around to leave, dropping a kiss on her sister’s cheek as she did so. ‘I think I’ll leave you to it while I go and find my husband.’

  ‘Luis has his chef’s cap on. He looks set for the night.’

  ‘Great. That means I can grab another wine and find somewhere else to hide before he drags me in to help him.’

  ‘Yeah, good luck with that,’ joked Flávia, watching her sister go.

  Just as Jake, in turn, was watching Flávia.

  As though he had no choice in it. Because he seemed to have very little control over himself when it came to Flávia Maura.

  And then they were alone, and he found himself fighting some inexplicably primal urge to grab and kiss her, and make her his—over and over—when she started to speak.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘WHY WERE YOU talking about Enrico?’ she asked carefully.

  ‘You heard that, huh?’

  If she’d hoped to decipher anything from his tone, then she realised she was out of luck. She had to force herself to keep her own voice deliberately even.

  ‘I heard Maria tell you he was my ex-fiancé.’

  ‘Was it recent?’

  Was he asking out of simple curiosity? Or something more?

  ‘We broke up two years ago.’ She shrugged. ‘Dated for eight years before that.’

  He cocked one eyebrow.

  ‘And since then...?’

  ‘There’s been no one but you,’ she confirmed, her eyes locked with his, almost daring him to comment.

  But he didn’t.

  ‘How did it end?’

  She scowled at him like it was none of his business. Yet she answered him, anyway. It was like a compulsion. He’d asked and she had to answer. Though she’d never talked about Enrico to anyone but her family.

  Then again, she’d been experiencing a plethora of firsts ever since Jake had approached her at that Welcome Gala.

  ‘He gave me an ultimatum. Him or the sanctuary.’

  ‘You chose your snakes,’ he guessed.

  ‘I shouldn’t have had to choose.’ She frowned, willing him to understand. As though his opinion mattered to her. ‘There was no need.’