It Was That Night

by Rikke Barfod

  Ursula smiles at the memory.

  “I was so excited. I couldn’t sleep. Would I be fine? Would I have friends? It was such a big thought, knowing everybody would be blind and not able to see.

  Mutti overcame her fears and went with me on the first day. I was going to start in the third grade. The teacher, Mrs. Sorensen, brought me to the class, introduced me and called the register. I couldn't believe it; there were boys as well as girls in my class. I was placed next to a girl called Elise. In the break, another girl came over stoked my arm.

  ‘Hi, I am Maja. Lucky you, to have such nice clothes. Feel mine.’ I felt. It was the first time I had felt another person apart from my family. Her clothes felt scratchy.

  ‘Why are you blind’, asked Elise. ‘An accident when I was eight’, I answered. ‘Well, I was born this way. You’re so lucky to have been able to see’. Born blind! It had never occurred to me that some people were born blind and had never seen colours or even knew how people looked like. Maja said, ‘Me too. But I would rather be blind than deaf, wouldn’t you’? ‘Imagine, if you couldn’t hear music’? Elise said ‘Or hear somebody coming into the room’? Maja added. ‘At least you could smell them’, I giggled.

  School was fun. I felt like I was a large bowl being filled up with knowledge. I lapped it all up. I had friends of my own age again. Being with them taught me that having the use of eyes was not everything. Maja became my best friend. I went to her house and she came to mine. At Maja’s house they didn’t have much room and it smelled differently, but her father and mother and small sister were very nice. Sometimes we stayed over at each other’s place. I slept in the bottom bunk bed when I visited Maja. Normally her little sister slept there. They also ate completely different food. I don’t know what it was. Lots of different kinds of porridge, I think and some meat, which I have never tasted before. But it tasted nice.

  I even went to the cinema once with the whole class. It was quite fun having to imagine what people were doing. A teacher explained the film to us beforehand. It was a film about farm animals, so we could hear all the different animal sounds.

  For me it was the best time of my life here in Denmark, having friends again. I also made friends with some of the boys. They were not so bad when you got to know them. But could they play dirty tricks! I’ll never forget the day they had tied mine and Maja’s plaits together without us knowing. I did hear a lot of giggling behind us when they were doing it.”

  I grin. So does Mum. It all sounds so very schoolish.

  “I’m not sure but I think I was the only Jewish girl in my class. I did my homework when the others had religion. Uncle Ruben and Auntie Hannah weren’t very kosher, the only thing they did celebrate was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Hanukkah, the festival of lights in December. Mutti was much more kosher. She did quite a lot of the kosher cooking; but when I went to my school friends’ houses, I just ate what they did. I asked Isaac about it, once.

  ‘Don’t worry’, he said. ‘It’s all a lot of baloney anyway, I think’.”

  I wonder what this kosher is. In Mum’s diary it said something about not eating sausages for some reason or the other. I don’t ask, maybe Mum knows and can explain it to me later.

  “In December 1941 the Americans entered the war after the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. I didn’t really know where that was. But Isaac explained it to me. Everyone was so cheerful now that the Americans had finally joined the war. ‘It can’t be long now’, Mutti said happily.

  Every evening we listened to the radio from England. You were not supposed to. It wasn’t illegal, but the Germans interfered with the radio signal, making it difficult to hear. And they spoke another language, which I couldn’t understand. The grown-ups’ talks were full of names like ‘Stalin’, ‘Roosevelt’, ‘Churchill’, the ‘Eastern Front’ and many more. I didn’t understand very much. Isaac did. He told me what it all meant.

  ‘You know Ursula, Hitler is not having it all his own way. The Allies are winning in Africa’. ‘Why Africa’? I asked him. ‘What is Hitler doing there? Are there Jews there too’? Isaac laughed. ‘It’s not all about Jews, but it’s something about Hitler wanting to conquer the whole world’.

  ‘He doesn’t need to kill Jews for that’.

  Isaac kicked at the table leg. ‘It’s to do with money, I think. Some Jews have a lot of money, so Hitler is taking all their money from the rich Jews. I heard my father talk about the Rothschilds and others who had to transfer all their assets to Germany before they were allowed to leave the country’.

  ‘Umm. I still don’t get it’.

  In the summer holidays we went to the coast. Isaac said that you could see Sweden across the Sound. His voice was full of longing when he said: ‘Imagine, just across there, they are free’.

  It was wonderful to feel the sand on my bare feet. My feet felt so alive. Everything sort of vibrated through my whole body. Isaac taught me how to swim. At first it was very scary being in the water, but then I let the waves take me. It was beautiful just floating and listening to the ocean.”

  I decide I am going to do that too, in the summer, just float with closed eyes.

  “Isaac had a friend, Jorgen, staying with him most of the time. I liked him a lot.”

  Ursula smiles in the way that you smile when you talk about a boy, you’re half in love with.

  “Were you in love with him?”

  “A bit, I think. But actually with both of them.

  I even went running on the beach. It was such a freedom, the wind catching my hair, the seagulls screeching, the smell of seaweed, the warm sand on my bare feet, Isaac and Jorgen running beside me, telling me when to stop or turn.

  One morning they were behind me as I ran from the house towards the sea. My foot hit a piece of driftwood and I fell on top of a large stone. I heard a crack and felt my leg sticking out from the knee in the wrong direction. I screamed with pain. The leg wouldn’t support me at all. Jorgen and Isaac carried me up to the house. Uncle Ruben wasn’t home, so they called another doctor. My leg was broken in several places and I was taken to hospital to have it put in plaster. Isaac and Jorgen were very sweet staying indoors with me a lot of the time, playing games or reading.

  But it was the end of going to school for a couple of months. Morten started coming again to tutor me, so I wouldn’t get too far behind. Having to stay at home wasn’t too bad. Many of the other girls from school came visiting and we played games and talked. They told me what they were doing in class and brought me my homework, and small gifts and homemade sweets.

  It was at this time the Germans attacked Russia. Very strange. They had been sort of allies until then. The grown-ups were happy and talked about Napoleon: How his army had been defeated more than a hundred years ago by the Russian cold winters, where the temperature often got below thirty degrees Celsius. Everybody hoped that the same thing would happen to Hitler – exactly as it had happened to Napoleon.

  After the autumn break, I went back to school again. The days passed so quickly. Suddenly it was the Christmas holidays with a real white Christmas. It was such fun being in the snow. I got rather good at hearing where the snowballs were coming from, so I could avoid them and return one that did hit. Isaac went sledging with me down some hill in a park near us. It was wild, like flying. Even Pappi and uncle Ruben came along and went sledging with us.

  

  Chapter 15

  Ursula

  Copenhagen

  1942

  “The year of 1942 passed by. Uncle Ruben and Auntie Hannah held a big party when it was the Danish New Year. We already had Hanukkah, but Uncle Ruben wanted to see his Danish friends. Everybody was happy, they said the war was turning.

  I didn’t quite understand how a war could turn and where it turned to, but Isaac explained that the Germans had been stopped at El Alamain in Africa and the Russians were fighting the Germans at Stalingrad. Oh, how I wished Hitler would be shot and we could be free again.

  The
more I learned, the less I could understand how one man could be so evil. Maybe he really was a troll. I remember having seen his pictures before becoming blind. He looked nice enough with his funny little moustache. It looked like it was glued on; but his voice was scary. Maybe it didn’t show when you looked at him, only when he spoke and his voice thundered through the wireless. It scared me. It felt like many black worms twisting and wiggling at great speed towards me.

  I asked Isaac. He laughed, ‘No, unfortunately, he is not a troll. Everything would be much easier if he was’.”

  We sit still. The only sound comes from Mum blowing her nose. I give a start when a moped starts up outside. Ursula continues:

  “Uncle Ruben came home one day sounding very mysterious. He called Isaac and me into the living room and said, ‘See what I’ve got’ and put something in my hand. It felt like a bar of chocolate. ‘Where did you get that from’? Isaac asked him. His voice sounded skeptical.

  ‘Ah, now that would be telling’, Uncle Ruben’s voice was full of laughter. ‘You didn’t get it on the black market, did you’? Isaac asked suspiciously. And Uncle Ruben laughed, ‘Nein, Knabe, an old patient. Share it nicely’. Chocolate isn’t the only thing we have to do without. Bananas, oranges and many other things. They say that in Sweden you can still get them. The grown-ups also complain about the 5-watt bulbs. I don’t know what they are on about.”

  “Why couldn’t you get chocolate?” I ask.

  “Because fruit and chocolate and other things come from other countries. And ships get torpedoed. And nobody wants to trade with the Germans. And they can’t trade with the Danes because we are occupied by the Germans.”

  Ursula continues, “Everything is rationed. You can only buy so much soap for washing clothes and you only get so much gas for cooking. And only milk for the families with children. Anna really complains about that. It makes cooking more difficult, I think.”

  “That sounds strange. Do the cows not produce milk like they used to?” I ask. Ursula giggles, “Yes, but the Germans take all the milk.”

  “Why?”

  “Isaac says it’s for their army.”

  “But there are also nice things happening. Uncle Ruben’s flat is just opposite the King’s Park. Often, we hear the King’s guards come marching down the street playing marches. King Christian rides in the front, when he goes for his daily ride in Copenhagen. I can’t see him, of course, but you know he is there, because everybody cheers and shouts: ‘Long live the King.’ The guards always play very cheerful music. I love marching alongside if I am out. The Germans too sometimes march down our street. Their music is not so happy.

  A big surprise happened for me on my twelfth birthday. Mutti had invited the whole class home on the Sunday before my birthday on the following Tuesday. We played hide and seek in the whole flat, even the grown-ups played with us. At one point nobody could find Torben. He had fallen asleep in uncle Ruben’s bed. He felt so embarrassed when he woke up and heard us all laughing, looking at him. We also played lots of guessing games like guessing animals starting with a specific letter. It was so much fun. I actually think it was the first time the whole class came to someone’s birthday party. Normally, the boys invited the boys and the girls invited the girls.

  Anna had made sumptuous cakes and buns. She is very good at making the rations stretch; also, because she gets eggs and other things from her parents who live on a farm on Funen Island.

  The air raid warnings increased because of English planes flying over Denmark to bomb Germany. I guess that is a good thing, but it was not fun having to get up in the middle of the night and hurry down to the cellar. Once I was sleeping over at Maja’s place when the air raid sirens went off and we had to hurry down to her cellar. It was strange being so close with a lot of strangers. At home, it is only us plus the other people living in our building. Here people came down from the whole block of flats.

  When I came home, I was itching all over. Auntie Hannah and Mutti placed me on a sheet and took all my clothes off. They said they saw many black spots jumping about the on white sheet. They were fleas. Afterwards, I had a bath. Normally, we only have one bath a week.

  I didn’t tell Maja about it. I was just very happy we don’t get fleas in our cellar. Another time, I was out walking with Pappi when the air raid sirens went off in the middle of the day. We had to hurry down the stairs to the underground platform at Norreport station. So many people were all hurrying down that it was difficult to move. I was very happy when the all-clear sounded. I hate being squashed by so many people. And some of them didn’t smell very nice.”

  Ursula giggles and continues:

  “One day at school Louise started crying. Her little sister, Jette, was very ill. She had got rickets. In Danish it is called ‘English disease’. At first, I thought it had something to do with the English planes bombing Germany. The adults laughed when I said it. Uncle Ruben explained that one of the reasons for getting rickets was that the Germans had issued a command to water down the milk, so there would be more to go around. But then children could get very sick from the watery milk. Fortunately, Jette recovered again.

  It got so cold. For the third time in a row, we had an ‘ice winter’ in Denmark. In our history lesson we learned something very strange, namely that every time there is a war in Denmark, the oceans between the Danish islands freeze over, so you can walk from one island to the next. Some people said it was now possible to walk to Sweden!

  I was very happy that uncle Ruben had so many warm coats and things. Some were cut down to make into coats for me and Isaac. Even some of uncle Ruben’s trousers were made into dresses for me!”

  

  Chapter 16

  Ursula

  Copenhagen

  1943

  “After Christmas, we had a lot of fun at school playing in the snow. We made snowmen and built snow huts. Even the teachers came and helped and had fun throwing snowballs.

  The months passed full of hope and spring and when the summer holidays came, Mutti told me that I was going to have a little brother or sister later that year! “

  Mum suddenly sounds as if her breath is rolling across ragged stones.

  “Really! What fun. It is going to be wonderful. I’ll have someone to play with’. And Mutti laughed. ‘Let him – or her – grow a bit first.’

  We had a beautiful summer holiday. We all went to the coast again. Mutti was so happy. She sang all the time, laughed and made silly jokes and she didn’t even fuss when we brought sand into the house – or stayed up late. She joined in the games sometimes. too. Isaac said it was so strange looking across the water to Sweden at night and seeing all the lights shining there. We had to draw the blackout curtains at night.

  After the summer holidays, there was shooting in the streets and a general strike stopped everything. The allies had beaten the Germans in Africa and were on the way into Italy. Isaac said he thought the war would be over soon, now the Germans were retreating in Russia. The Danish Government refused the German demands, so the government had to resign. Denmark was in a state of emergency, the grown-ups said. I didn’t quite understand what it meant, except for the curfew thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Something about not being allowed to be out after eight pm or before six am, I think.

  Mutti wouldn’t let me go outside anymore at all. I was miserable, but I could see that Mutti’s colours were weaving around all purplish, and her voice shook if I tried to persuade her to let me go out. It helped having Maja as a friend. She came to see me almost every day.

  ‘Why don’t you come back to school’? she asked. ‘You’re not sick. We’re having so much fun. Right now, we’re learning about the Vikings. Please come soon’. ‘I want to, but my mother is scared of the Germans’. ‘But they don’t do anything to children’! Maja’s voice sounded amazed. I knew that they did bad things to children – at least to Jewish children – Isaac had told me. I didn’t tell her, though.

  I wa
nted to go out and play, but Mutti was hysterical. ‘Isaac goes to school’! I said. But even Uncle Ruben couldn’t persuade Mutti. So, I stayed indoors in the nice sunny August and September weather. The smell of boredom crept out from the walls. Morten came again to tutor me.

  30. September

  Then came the day when everything went wrong. Morten came early. He cried: ‘Get a few things together and come. I have a car waiting. You have five minutes’.”

  “What did he mean?”

  “All Jews are being rounded up. ‘I have come to fetch you. We’ll go to the coast. Then the fishermen will sail you over to Sweden’. ‘But Jacov’? Mutti cried.

  ‘He knows’. Morten said. ‘We called him at work. He’ll make his own way to the coast’. Isaac was home from school with a sore throat. Uncle Ruben was also home. It was his day off. He couldn’t believe it. ‘It can’t be true’, he said. ‘The Danish government has promised us sanctuary … And tonight is Rosh Hashanah’!

  Morten’s voice sounded more urgent. ‘Exactly. They know that every Jewish person and his whole family will be at home celebrating. Call the Rabbi if you don’t believe me’

  It was pandemonium. Mutti cried, Auntie Hannah rushed around, Uncle Ruben shouted: ‘Only two more minutes’! I fumbled through my things unable to decide what to take. Fortunately, Isaac came and helped me. He quickly packed a small bag with a few clothes and gave me my porcelain angel to hold.

  Mutti quickly put a coat on me. We had to sit on top of each other in the car. Mutti’s belly was so big she had to sit in the front beside Morten. He said he would drive us to a small fishing village on the northern coast. ‘It’s lucky my friend had a car – and it was full of petrol’.

  We didn’t talk much in the car. Isaac held my hand. My head was full of the things he had told me about the Concentration camps. At one point Morten stopped and opened the window. A lovely smell of salty sea drifted in. A man’s voice said from outside: ‘Drive to the school. Somebody’s there to help’. Morten talked to another man at the school and then he said goodbye to us. ‘I’ll go and fetch the next lot’, he said. ‘We are going to get every Jew to Sweden today and tomorrow’. He gave me a big hug. Then he was off.