by D G Rose
This felt like hope. I mean, there was no chance that I could kill a dragon with a sharp rock, but maybe Mirabel could. She was the Champion of the Mad Dreamer, after all.
We worked away at our rocks with little to show for our efforts. “Did you know?” I asked her, quietly.
“Did I know what?” She asked me, banging her rocks together hoping for a razor-sharp flake.
“How it was.” I said with a shrug. “How it was for us. For me.”
She looked at me with wide sad eyes and slowly shook her head.
“Dad left. Did you know? About a year after. I almost never saw him again. He did his best to forget, to forget about everything. He moved on. We have a half-sister. Did you know that? Mom. Mom died, drunk and broken. I… I found her body. Dead at the foot of the stairs. The whole house smelled of shit and booze. Did you know that? Did you? I… I’ve never had a friend. Not one. Not a real friend. Not since that day. Did you know that? Mom.”
I laughed. “Mom once told me that she’d slit my throat, sacrifice me, if god told her to. Think about that. I was just a kid. Still just a kid. I’ve been in jail. More than once. Did you know that? Amy. Amy is the only girl I’ve ever kissed. I was a forty-three-year-old virgin. Think about that. I was stuck. Stuck in that house, that crumbling shit hole of a house, waiting for you. Just waiting for you. For thirty fucking years. I still have the same phone number. My whole life, if you can call it that, was ruined that day. I thought you were dead. I assumed you were. Everybody did. But look at you now.”
I waved a hand to take in our surroundings. “I don’t mean right now, trapped in this cave waiting to die. I mean before. While I was drowning, you were swimming. Look at you. You’re young and beautiful and you’ve had a life and you’re still fucking young! Look at me! I’m so old now! You’ve had a life. A good life! You’ve got some kind of important job. Do you know what I do? I change oil. For cars! What kind of a job is that? I’m not the Champion, not even of oil changes, let alone of some god. You’ve got, not one, but two fathers! And they’re like kings and shit! I’ve got nothing. And now, even the little bit that I’ve got, I’m going to lose. Did you know?” I banged my rocks together.
We banged away. Mirabel managed to break one of her rocks into something that was at least somewhat sharper, but I doubted it could kill a champion cricket, let alone a dragon.
“I didn’t know.” She said. Not looking at me. “I didn’t know anything. This was the first time I’ve been out of the Dream. The first time I was allowed out. I asked. I did. At first, I asked all the time. I was just a kid, you know. Only eight. And I wanted to go home. But I also wanted to stay. I mean, they kept me here. The Mad Dreamer and Neb and Amytis and Sir Leoline. They did, but not exactly against my will. Not exactly. I wanted to go back, but I also wanted to stay. I wanted to go back, but everything here was so new and exciting and so, at first I cried all the time and I wanted to go back and I asked to go back, but then I would get distracted by something and I would forget about wanting to go back. And then.” She shrugged. “Then, I stopped even wanting to go back. I missed you and I never stopped thinking about you or talking about you, but I stopped thinking about going back to you.
“I was just a kid!” She wailed. “And I didn’t know. I didn’t. I mean, I think I must have thought that you would all move on. Like I was moving on. I didn’t think about the way it would be different. I guess I never thought about how it might be if you didn’t have a god and some kings and adventures. Or maybe I didn’t really realize that you didn’t have those things. My ideas about that world, your world, maybe they were never really well formed. Maybe I didn’t, don’t, really understand it. Not really.”
That was her argument? I just forgot about you? I never really understood? I was having too much fun? It wasn’t an argument calculated to lead to forgiveness.
“Why did you go? Or did they take you? What happened?” I asked, the question I’d been waiting to ask my whole life.
She shrugged and banged her rocks. “Well, you left me alone. And you were gone for a long time. At least it seemed like a long time. And then he came, the Mad Dreamer, or some aspect of him. And he kept me company and he told me a story and he asked me if I’d like to go with him and hear some more stories. So I said yes, and we went. I guess that sounds pretty anticlimactic for something that has had such a big effect on us both, but that’s what happened.”
Then she lowered her eyes and looked down at her feet. “I ask your forgiveness and I am a mountain tiger.” Then she whispered. “Ginevra de' Benci. Never again.”
And I laughed then. I laughed because I recognized the pattern and I recognized what she was doing. It was a quote. Some forbidden, painfully blasphemous, quote and she offered it up as its own kind of penance. And as soon as I laughed, it was like an albatross fell from around my neck and I felt free. And, just as she had asked. Just like that, I forgave her.
Here is what I think: Forgiving is the ultimate penance, there is no hope of amends or repair, just the simple understanding that we all hurt each other.
And Miranda looked at me laughing and she started to laugh and she scooted over without standing up and dropped her rocks and wrapped her arms around me and I wrapped my arms around her and, for maybe the first time in my life, I hugged my sister.
CHAPTER 28 – Well, all measurements are approximate.
It was while we were hugging and laughing and crying that I heard the whump. It was a surprisingly subtle sound. A surprisingly subtle sound, given the creature that made it.
We looked up, the both of us, and there he stood, Topaz Dragon. And he was beautiful. He had a multi-colored tail (red, yellow, green, white, black), a mane of pearl, scales of topaz, and eyes like the planets Venus and Jupiter. He stood, his bulk occupying almost the entirety of the tunnel. And that sound? It was the sound of the Dragon laughing.
The Dragon clapped his hands. They were surprisingly human-like hands, with four fingers and a thumb, albeit capped with 4 –inch-long claws. “Oh!” He said. “I do love a rapprochement! Especially between estranged family!” And he whipped a tear from one eye (the one that looked like Venus, his Jupiter eye remained tear-less).
Miranda was instantly on her feet, the slightly sharpened rock in her hand. She looked dangerous.
“It’s too bad that you have to die.” The Dragon continued, paying Miranda no mind.
Miranda scoffed. “I’ve killed bigger monsters with less.” And she spit on the ground.
The Dragon put an oddly fluttering hand to his chest. “Monster! I’m not a monster. I’m a god. Do you know the Fong family? I’m their family god.” Then he put his hand to his mouth. “Oh, where are my manners? Would you like some tea? I’m so sorry. It’s just that I’ve been under the weather recently and it makes me so forgetful.”
I have to admit that there was something about his manner that I found disarming. Here he was, this giant Dragon, standing alongside a grisly row of his victims, prattling on about tea and manners and asking us about our acquaintances. I couldn’t help but think that this might not be such a terrible way to die. Maybe he didn’t flay the skin off until after his victims were dead.
So, while Miranda stood, her every cell quivering in readiness to attack, I said. “Yes. We do know the Fong family of Quest Valley. We were visiting with Mistress Fong just the other day and we also had the good fortune to meet Shui.” I almost said that we’d met Shui at the Glittering Phoenix shrine, but I didn’t, figuring that Topaz Dragon might not like to hear about Shui cleaning the shrine of some other god.
Topaz Dragon looked pleased. At least I interpreted his look as a pleased look, although I’ve heard that when a dog smiles it really means that it’s nervous. So who knows how to interpret the face of a dragon? “How lovely. I must admit, I’m somewhat worried about Shui. He’s been acting strange since… well, since the incident. He’s really a good boy. I just hope he hasn’t suffered any permanent damage.” Then Top
az Dragon cupped his mouth with his two hands and whispered. “You know, to his brain.” Then dropping his hands, he continued in his regular voice. “So, is that two for tea then?”
I felt Miranda relax. It seemed that our deaths weren’t imminent, it seemed that tea would be served beforehand. I nodded. “Yes. Two for tea, please.”
Topaz Dragon waved a hand and a table set with three places appeared, complete with tea and cakes. It didn’t seem possible that all three of us could use the same table, given the differences in our sizes, but somehow, some trick of perspective or something, we all took our seats and Topaz Dragon served the tea.
“As I was saying,” Topaz Dragon said as he poured the tea. “I’ve been worried about the Fong family. How did they seem to you? Mistress Fong has always been a touch over ambitious, although I hate to say it. I knew her grandfather, don’t you know. Well, actually I’ve known them all. Anyway, I knew her grandfather, and I can’t imagine that he would be happy with the direction that the family is taking.”
Miranda and I nodded, but there was no pause, so we didn’t speak.
“I mean, you get sick one time. Just one single time in thousands of years and it’s like it’s this unforgivable lapse.” He put a hand to his forehead. “I’m still not completely recovered.” He held out an arm in front of his chest and rotated it so that we could all observe. “Do you see this? This pallor? I’m still not completely recovered.”
I jumped in. “I think your color is wonderful!” I gushed.
Topaz Dragon rotated his arm more slowly. “Thank you. It’s so nice of you to say, but if you could have seen me before. I was glorious, if you don’t mind my saying so. Now, I’m just really a shadow of myself. But, apparently, a little sympathy is too much to ask.”
Miranda took a sip of her tea and a tiny nibble of her cake. “We’re so glad that you’re on the road to recovery. How did it happen? Your illness. That is if you don’t mind talking about it.” She smiled.
“Oh, I don’t mind talking about it.” Said Topaz Dragon. “Glittering Phoenix, do you know Glittering Phoenix? Lackluster Pigeon, more like! Anyway, Glittering Phoenix had invited me to dinner. Well, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gone. But, of course, I didn’t know anything. I just thought it was a nice gesture. You know, we’ve been family gods for families that have lived alongside each other for generations, and we’ve never really talked. So, I thought it was nice. You know, a kind of meet the neighbors kind of thing. In fact, I was thinking, ‘Why hadn’t I thought of that?’, but I hadn’t and I was glad that Glittering Phoenix did…”
I couldn’t take it anymore. “The wine! How did you like the wine?” I shouted.
Topaz Dragon looked shocked by my outburst. I know you can’t tell when a dog is smiling, but I’m just going to go ahead and say that Topaz Dragon made pretty much all the same faces as people do.
“We drank no wine!” Thundered Topaz Dragon. “I am a god, as is Glittering Phoenix, although she is a lower sort than I and not at all to be trusted. Yudi, the Great Jade Emperor of Heaven, has forbidden all gods from drinking wine. The wine that is left as offerings at our shrines, is to be enjoyed in its essence and never to be drunk. I am a loyal servant of Yudi, and I have never let a sip of wine pass my tongue!”
Miranda sat silent, picking idly at her cake.
I thought back to Amy. Amy in the shrines, checking the clay jars. Amy in the inn, telling me to ask about the wine. And now, it turns out that there was no wine. What did she want? She was getting at something and I didn’t want to die without finding out.
“What did you drink with Glittering Phoenix?” Miranda asked.
Topaz Dragon waved a hand. “Oh, some kind of exotic juice that Glittering Phoenix had come across. She said something about it being very special and that she’d saved it to share with me. It was good. But not as sweet as I like.”
Then Topaz Dragon slapped a hand down on the table. “Let’s play a game!” He said. He produced an old-fashioned hourglass and set it on the table with its full side down. “I’ll hide somewhere back in the cave. Give me half an hour.” He drew a single claw across the empty bulb at the half-way point and etched a line in the glass. “Then come look for me. If you find me before the time is up, I’ll give you any wish within my power as a god. If you don’t find me before time is up, you have to pose as models for my art project with no whining.” As he said this last part he indicated the three flayed corpses chained to the wall. Then without waiting for agreement he flipped the hourglass, the sands running down in a thin stream, and he disappeared back down the tunnel.
“I guess we’re playing a game.” Miranda said, still holding her slightly sharpened rock.
“I guess we are.” I agreed.
She gave me a sharp look. “Amy told you to ask about the wine, didn’t she?”
I nodded. “Do you have any idea what it’s all about?”
Miranda smiled at me. She looked so much like herself. How had I missed it? “I’ll let Amy tell you. Assuming we find the old monster before time is up and don’t end up as part of his art project. Speaking of which how long were we supposed to wait?”
“A half-hour.” I said.
“So, let’s go then.” Miranda stood up.
“We’ve literally been waiting like three minutes.” I told her, indicating the paltry pile of sand that had accumulated in the bottom half of the hour-glass.
She gave a Miranda shrug. “Well, all measurements are approximate.” And she took off down the tunnel after the Dragon. I followed after.
The tunnel soon opened out into a large cavern. Not Caverns Measureless to Man large – but still pretty big for a hollow in solid rock etched away bit by bit by dripping water. The cavern was well-lit by dozens of floating lanterns scattered throughout its volume. And it was riddled with places to hide. Thirty or forty cave-like openings lined the perimeter of the cavern.
“We’ll never find him!” I moaned.
“Oh, ye of little faith.” She said, then held up a hand. “The Bible is OK, too, at least the KJV.”
“So, where do we start?” I asked, indicating the plethora of choices with no clear indication of how to choose between them.
Miranda tapped the tip of her nose with a finger three times. “We start here.” She said. “Did you notice that Topaz Dragon has a particular aroma?” She asked.
I shook my head. “No. I guess in all the fearing for my life, I neglected to pay attention to his aroma.”
“Your loss.” She said. “It’s actually quite nice. Like musk blended with ambergris. So, we just sniff him out.”
I gestured for her to lead on. “You’re my bloodhound.”
And she began to sniff. I couldn’t smell a thing except rock and a hint of mold.
Miranda led me down blind alleys, dead ends, and dangerous mistakes. If Miranda had been a bloodhound, Cool Hand Luke would be drinking a beer in Cozumel right this minute.
So, even though we had cheated, the next time we saw Topaz Dragon, he was hopping from one leg to another and shaking his tail in what he assured us was the Winner’s Dance.
Topaz Dragon escorted us back up the tunnel. “Are we really going to just let him kill us with no whining?” I whispered to Miranda. She flashed me the sharpened rock in her hand. It was little comfort.
We reached the cave entrance, the unmovable grate still firmly in place. Topaz Dragon asked me to stand in the light of a lamp and turn slowly so he could, as he said, ‘Get a sense of your lines. Composition is so important.’ Then he asked Miranda to do the same. I was ready to explode from the tension. Each second, I expected Miranda to gouge out one of his eyes with her rock (the Jupiter eye, being bigger, was the better target). But, Miranda kept me waiting. Of course, if she simply killed him, we would still be stuck in the cave and eventually die of hunger, but that could take weeks and we might have been able to figure out a way to lift the grate.
“I think I’ll sta
rt with you.” Topaz Dragon pointed a single glass-etching claw at me. “You’re not ashamed of your body, are you? Would it be better if your sister waited back in the cavern?”
I was ashamed of my body. At least a little. I mean, not having a car and walking or biking everywhere had kept me from getting too fat and I think I have nice legs, but my pastimes of drinking beer and lying in bed staring at the ceiling had left me with enough of a paunch that I wasn’t eager to parade around naked. Also, I thought, maybe Miranda would rather not have to watch me being flayed. I looked over at her and tried to catch her eye and have a silent conversation, but she wasn’t looking at me.
“I’ll stay.” She declared. Apparently, the prospect of seeing me flayed didn’t bother her in the least. It occurred to me that our reconciliation was still young and fragile and maybe she still harbored secret animosity.
“Remove your shirt, please.” Topaz Dragon said. And I removed my shirt. Topaz Dragon approached me. That weird perspective thing happened again, so that he almost didn’t seem much bigger than I am. He touched the side of my face with a claw. It was an oddly gentle, almost sensual, movement. I wondered if this was the same claw that he would use to separate my skin from my flesh. I shivered. He touched my collarbone, my chest, ran his claw down my stomach.
“Oh, yes. You’ll do wonderfully.” He purred, resting one claw in my navel, my bellybutton. “I think, I think that I’ll open the stomach muscle, at least a little, maybe expose the pancreas. I would so enjoy a little pancreas in my project.”
Off to one side, I could see Miranda fingering her sharpened rock. Looking for the perfect opportunity. She knew that she would only have one chance.
Then, Topaz Dragon turned and grabbed hold of a large tarp. I could only imagine what terrible instrument of torture were underneath. My legs nearly gave out and he ripped the tarp away. Under the tarp was a pile of… well what are those? They looked like, well, like nothing I’ve ever seen before. They were round and purplish, and kind of shiny. Like nodules of some sort. Probably not instruments of torture. “What the fuck are those?” I demanded.