Left Half Harmon

by Ralph Henry Barbour

  CHAPTER X

  ALTON SQUEEZES THROUGH

  Instead of going on to Haylow, Willard entered Lykes and knocked atthe door of Number 2. As he had suspected, Martin was there. So wereBob and Joe and Don Harris, Joe's roommate. Don was only seventeen,although his size made him look older, and, like Joe, was a senior. Hisfull name was Donald, but no one ever called him that. He played firstbase on the school nine and played it well.

  Willard had to hear about the expedition to the new railway bridge andhow Stacey and Bob had walked out to the end of the highest girder andthen had had to sit down before they dared turn around!

  "That's all right," Don expostulated in reply to the laughter. "Thatgirder was only a foot wide when I started out on it and by the time Iwas at the end it had shrunk to about half an inch! And when I lookeddown the river was so far away I could just see it! Gosh, I thoughtfor a minute I'd have to stay there until they'd finished the bridgeso I could keep on across it!"

  "I wanted to come back on my hands and knees," confessed Bob, "andI'd have done it if I'd been alone! No more circus stunts for littleRobert!"

  "What were you doing all the afternoon?" asked Martin presently ofWillard, and Willard told of his meeting with McNatt. The incident ofthe diving-rod amused them all hugely.

  "That's McNutt all over," laughed Joe. "A couple of years ago someonefound him over on that hill beyond Badger's farm digging a hole. Hesaid he was looking for fossil remains. Said the hill looked to himlike a glacial--glacial whatyoucallit--"

  "Moraine," supplied Bob.

  "Yes, moraine. He dug a place big enough for a cellar, I heard, but henever found anything but rocks. He's a wonder, is Felix McNatt!"

  "Is his name really Felix?" asked Martin.

  "Sure! And he's got a middle name that's worse, only I've forgotten it."

  "Felix Adelbert," said Don: "Felix Adelbert McNutt--I mean McNatt!"

  "McNutt's better," laughed Bob. "It suits him perfectly. Remember thetime--last spring, wasn't it?--when he was raising toads and one ofthem got into bed with the chap who rooms with him--"

  "Rooms with the toad?" asked Martin incredulously.

  "No, with McNutt, you jay! What's his name, Joe?"

  "McNutt's?" asked Joe, with a wink at Martin.

  "Oh, you make me tired! Fuller, that's the chap! Fuller crawled intobed one night and found a toad there ahead of him and told the hallmaster the next day. He said he didn't mind having toads hopping aroundthe room, but that having to share his bed with them was almost toomuch. And faculty agreed with him and McNutt had to get rid of histoads."

  "What the dickens did he want with the things, anyway?" asked Don indisgust. "I wouldn't touch one for anything!"

  "Oh, toads are all right," answered Joe. "Quite harmless and friendly.McNutt was raising them, it seemed. He'd read somewhere that anable-bodied toad would eat seven million, three hundred and eightythousand, nine hundred and thirty-three bugs a year. I'm not absolutelycertain of the exact number, but it was something like that. Anyway,McNutt figured that if he could raise a few hundred toads he couldsell them to farmers and get rich. He said he was trying to develop animproved strain of toads that would be particularly--er--insectivorous:I believe that's the word."

  "In justice to the gentleman," said Bob, "it should be stated that itwas the--the scientific interest of the thing rather than the pecuniaryreward that attracted him. Science is McNutt's long suit!"

  "I think Fuller, or whatever his name is, was most unreasonable,"laughed Don. "Why, the world might be rid of insects by this time if hehadn't been so cranky! Do toads eat mosquitoes, Joe?"

  "I guess so. I know they eat flies, anyway. I saw one do it once.He stopped about a yard away and the fly didn't even know he wasabout. Then--_zip_--out went Mr. Toad's tongue, like you uncoiled themainspring of a watch, and the fly was gone!"

  "Flew away, probably," suggested Martin.

  "He did not, son! He was in Mr. Toad's tummy."

  "You say the toad was a yard distant from the fly when the--when theshot was fired?" asked Don.

  "Well, maybe a couple of feet," Joe compromised. "It was a long way."

  "Take off another eighteen inches," begged Bob earnestly. "I want tobelieve you, Joseph but two feet--" He shook his head sadly.

  "Go to the dickens! It was two feet if it was an inch. Anyone will tellyou that a toad's tongue is remarkably long."

  "Nobody has to tell me, after that yarn," replied Bob gravely. "All I'mwondering now is where the toad keeps his tongue when he's not usingit!"

  "I told you he coils it up," laughed Joe, "like a watch spring."

  "It's a mighty good thing toads can't talk," observed Willard. "With atongue like that, they'd never stop! McNatt asked me to come and seehim. He said he had a fine collection of minerals in his room."

  "Minerals? Boy, he's got enough rocks there to build a house! And birdnests and butterflies and beetles and--and things in jars that makeyou shudder to look at 'em!" Joe shuddered merely at the memory. "He'salways trying to hatch out moths and things in cigar boxes. Once he hadsome silk-worms, I remember. Mr. Screven got him to bring them to classone day. Funny things, they were. They didn't live very long, becauseMcNutt couldn't get the right sort of leaves for them to eat. Theyshould have had mulberry leaves, I think, and he thought some othersort ought to do just as well, and the worms got mad and went on ahunger strike! Fuller told me once that the room is so full of rubbishthat he can't turn around. Said he was forever finding a family ofwhite mice or striped lizards tucked away in one of his bureau drawersand that he always had to look before he sat down for fear of sittingon something he shouldn't!"

  When the laughter had subsided Willard told of McNatt's theoryregarding scientific football. He found that, as he told it, itdidn't sound as plausible as it had when McNatt explained it, but itcertainly aroused amusement. Joe drew a picture of Gil Tarver pullingout a memorandum book and looking up the right play. "Because, yousee, not even Gil could ever remember two hundred--was it two hundred,Brand?--three hundred plays. Probably they'd make a rule that aquarter-back must find his plays unassisted and must not consume morethan three minutes looking them up! Gil would have a pocket built onhis jacket to keep the book in, I suppose."

  "Gosh, suppose it dropped out!" exclaimed Don. "Would he be allowedtime-out to look for it?"

  "Probably a center would be picked for his light-finger ability,"suggested Bob. "It would be part of his stunt to reach through oraround the opposing center and steal the quarter-back's memorandumbook, thus placing the enemy _hors de combat_!"

  "Come on, Brand," begged Martin. "This is getting wild."

  "Did McNatt ever play football?" asked Don.

  "I think so," Joe answered. "Yes, I know he did. He was out for theteam the first year I was here. You remember him, Bob?"

  Bob shook his head. "No, but I've heard that he did play."

  "Yes, and I think he played the year before that. Something happened tohim, though, my freshman year. I guess he had an accident or got sick.I know he wasn't around long. Seems to me he was trying for half-back.He's not a bad old scout, Felix Adelbert. Only trouble is, I guess, hisbrains are sort of scrambled."

  "Addled, maybe," suggested Martin. "Addle-bert McNutt. Come on, Brand,I'm getting it too!"

  "I think I'll accept his invitation some day," said Willard, as theycrossed to Haylow. "I'd like to see that room of his!"

  The occasion didn't present itself that week, however, for Willardfound that life on the football gridiron had suddenly become bothreal and earnest. Although Coach Cade had four good half-backs at hiscommand, Willard was not overlooked. But Friday he was on an equalfooting with Mawson and Moncks, to all appearances, and was certainlyin line for first substitute. He didn't want anything serious orpainful to happen to either of those excellent chaps, but he couldn'thelp reflecting sometimes that if one or the other was to developsomething mild, like whooping cough or German measles, he could bearit with equanimity! Failing the likelihood of
anything of the kindhappening, however, he set himself earnestly to outdo those rivals inpractice. After all, while Mawson was rather a better punter and Monckswas shiftier in a broken field, neither was unbeatable, and Willardkept that fact resolutely in mind and worked hard.

  Banning High School came on Saturday and put up a very pretty gameagainst the Gray-and-Gold. In fact, Banning sprang several surpriseson the home team, and for a time, during the first of the contest,it looked as though Alton was in for a defeat. Banning was lightbut fast, and instead of relying on a forward-passing game as shewas expected to rely, she met Alton's own tactics and, from a close,three-abreast formation, shot her backs through the opposing line withdiscouraging ease. Any place outside guards pleased her, and Alton sawher tackles and ends completely outplayed during the first two periods.Banning's speed was the secret of her success, and the Gray-and-Gold,heavier and slower, seldom stopped the plays until they were wellthrough her line.

  Banning scored first when, near the end of the second quarter, sherecovered a short kick on Alton's forty-six and plunged and knifedher way down to the thirty-one. Fast, snappy playing took the ballthere in just seven downs. Mr. Cade ran in a substitute left end anda substitute left tackle then, and Banning slowed up. But she reachedthe twenty-five-yard line before she was halted. There, it being fourthdown, with four to go, she made elaborate preparations for a placementkick. Naturally enough, while guarding against a fake, Alton expecteda kick, and team and spectators were alike surprised when, the ballhaving flown back to quarter and the kicker having swung his long leg,there followed a long side-pass from the quarter to an end, just asAlton charged! It looked to those on the sidelines as if the pigskinwent between the legs of the Alton end and tackle as they swept around,but probably it didn't. In any event, the waiting Banning end caught itneatly and had covered ten yards of the intervening thirty before hewas challenged. He shot around the Alton left half and was only broughtdown when Gil Tarver tackled on the eight yards.

  The line-up was squarely on the five, and although the Gray-and-Goldfought desperately there, it took the enemy just three plays to put theball over. A plunge at the center, with the whole Banning backfieldbehind the quarter, who carried, yielded most of two yards. Then thefull-back ripped around left tackle for as much more, and, on thirddown, with the other backs running to the right, that troublesomeBanning quarter shot through between guard and tackle on the left andput the pigskin just over the last white streak!

  The half ended with the score 6--0 in the visitor's favor, and the hometeam came in for a "panning" from the stands that, deserved or not, wasdecidedly enthusiastic. However, the team was not suffering for lackof criticism just then, even if it couldn't hear what the spectatorswere saying. Coach Cade, although mild-mannered, had a fair command oflanguage and could use it when needs be, and the players listened tosome home truths during the half-time.

  When the team came back to the field it was noted that Moncks hadreplaced Cochran at right half, Hutchins had taken Tarver's place atquarter and a third-string fellow was playing left tackle. Perhaps,though, it was the talk they had listened to rather than the changein the line-up that produced results, for certainly "Hutch" played nobetter game behind center than Gil had, and the new tackle was far toogreen to be of much use. That as may be, Alton showed speed from thestart and Banning's backs were stopped at the line instead of beyondit. Also, the Gray-and-Gold took the offensive when the third quarterwas a few minutes along and kept it throughout the rest of the game,with the result that the score was tied in the third period, whenMoncks got away for a thirty-yard run and a touchdown, and untiedat the beginning of the last quarter, when Alton hammered her wayfrom well within her own territory to Banning's eight yards and thentossed the ball over to Macon between the goal posts. Oddly enough,when Lake kicked an easy goal after the second touchdown, the scorebecame 13--6, which was the score of last week's contest, and 13--6 itremained. Martin said he guessed thirteen-six was a habit, but when Mt.Millard School got through with Alton, seven days later, he changed hismind!