Didn’t sound so crazy to me, but when I thought about the fact it was Cece’s reputation on the line, not mine, I understood her need for caution. I was used to people talking trash about me. Speculating about the women I was with and whether I was in a relationship. She wasn’t. She’d been able to fly under the radar and keep her private life private, and I was sure she wanted to keep it that way. A relationship with me would thrust her into the spotlight in a way she’d never wanted to be.
“So, what do you suggest?” I had to let this be her call, to let her move at a pace she was comfortable with, so as not to spook her.
“That we just keep this under wraps for now.” Her hands drifted to my shoulders. “People are used to us hanging out together, so that’s no big deal. Me going to your bus, that wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. But spending the night with you…”
“Can’t happen?” Damn. That was going to be tough. I wanted her with me, all the time, and letting her head back to her bus after we made love would be torture. But I got why she needed to draw the line and I had to respect her boundaries if I wanted this to work. And suddenly making this work was the most important thing in my life.
“Right.” She licked her lips, her eyes darting around us. “I’m not saying we can’t be together, or hang out, but we just can’t make it seem like we’re a couple. Tonight, what you pulled with that guy I was dancing with, that can’t happen again.”
It made sense, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. “Then don’t put yourself in a position where I want to knock someone’s teeth out.” She wasn’t the only one who could have ground rules. I’d need to have a few of my own if this new arrangement of ours was going to work.
Her lips twisted into a half-smile before she said, “Dancing with someone is a crime all of a sudden?”
“He tried to kiss you, Cece. That’s not okay.” She was crazy if she thought I was going to sit back and watch some other dude make a play for her. That wasn’t gonna happen.
“I get that.” She nodded slowly. “But just for the record, I wouldn’t be okay with you kissing someone else either.”
“Obviously.” Why the hell would I want to kiss anyone else when I’d already tasted the sweetest lips south of the Mason-Dixon Line? “And your buddy Auden, what about him?” Keeping him in the dark about us wasn’t an option for me, even if she wasn’t ready to enlighten our whole crew yet.
“I’ll talk to him. Explain things. I think we can count on his discretion, especially since your approval is so important to his career.”
When I frowned, she ran a hand up the back of my head, instantly making my eyes drift closed as the annoyance receded.
“Please don’t give him a hard time, Knox. None of this is his fault. So we slept together—”
“Don’t remind me,” I grumbled, pulling her closer. I knew we weren’t supposed to be indulging in PDAs, but that was going to be one of the biggest challenges I’d ever faced, with this girl. “I don’t even wanna think about you sleepin’ with him. Every time I look at him, I think about it, and just want to wipe that smug smile off his face.”
“There was nothing between us when I was with him. If I’d had any idea you felt this way about me, obviously I wouldn’t have been with Auden. But you can’t blame me, or him, for something that happened before—”
“I know.” I didn’t have to like it, but she was right. “It shouldn’t have taken me so long to figure things out.” The most stunningly beautiful creature in the world had been in my orbit for years. Loving me. Supporting me. Being the best friend a guy could ask for… and I’d been too stupid to realize she was every guy’s fantasy, including mine.
“And I can’t blame you for livin’ while I was doing the same.” I sighed. “And I can’t even fault Auden for seein’ what I was too blind to see.” I brushed my hand over her cheek. “You’re unbelievable, Ce. Seriously. Like every man’s fantasy. And I’m just so damn humbled that I’m finally gettin’ this chance with you.”
She looked a little stunned by my declaration before she said, “I feel the same way. Lucky. Humbled. Surprised.” She smiled. “But really, really grateful.” She rolled forward, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. “This is gonna be good, Knox. We’re gonna be good… together. I really believe that. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be taking this leap of faith with you.”
That’s what this was, a huge leap of faith. But I suddenly wasn’t scared anymore. It felt right, like it was always meant to be and we’d finally figured it out.
Chapter 11
Cece
I woke up the morning after my talk with Knox feeling invigorated. After the bar he walked me to my bus, and we’d held each other for a long time, kissing, talking about what the new norm would look like for us, and it gave me clarity. I wanted this. This man. This chance. This crazy adventure we were about to embark on. I wanted it all. Even if it was scary as hell. I didn’t want to look back on my life ten years from now and regret the chance I didn’t take with my best friend.
The girls were already awake, preparing breakfast when I rolled out of my bunk.
Chris winked at me when I stumbled into the small living area of our bus. “You got in late last night. What’s that about?”
I poured myself a cup of liquid energy and muttered, “Drinks with Dade and Knox.”
“Oh yeah?” My friends shared a smirk before Chris asked, “How’d that go?”
I raised a shoulder as I leaned back against the counter. I knew keeping this secret from them wasn’t going to be easy, but I was determined. Things with Knox would be tough enough without having our every move scrutinized by our road family.
“It was good, I guess. Dade isn’t in the best place, so that sucks.” I wasn’t intentionally using my friend’s drama to deflect, but I knew it would.
Gina sighed as she poured Corn Flakes into her bowl and added some milk before carrying it to the tiny table at our L-shaped banquette. “Dade is a great guy. I don’t get it. Why the hell does he have such a hard time holding on to a woman?”
Chris rolled her eyes. “Please. You’ve met his ex’s. The problem is with them, not him. Brainless gold diggers who wouldn’t even know the meaning of the word fidelity. As long as Dade was footing the bill for their shopping sprees, they were happy.”
It was true, our friend had a knack for picking the worst possible women. Made me think of my sister, and the fact that she was antitheses of the girls he usually went for. She was blue jeans and flip-flops, not Gucci and diamonds, like his usual type. She could care less about material things, as long as she had a roof over her head, food in the cupboard, gas in her tank, and enough to cover her bills at the end of the month.
“True.” I took a sip of my coffee. “So, Dade is looking for an assistant and my sister wants the job. Do y’all think that’s crazy or not?” I wanted to know if I was just being the over-protective big sis sticking my nose where it didn’t belong and I trusted my friends to tell me the truth. They knew Dade and they knew Charli. They could be unbiased.
Chris bit into her toast with peanut butter before reaching for a paper towel to catch the drip. “What’s so crazy about it? I think they’d hit it off.” She smiled at me. “What? You don’t?”
“She’s been crushin’ on Dade forever.” Charli probably wouldn’t appreciate my over-sharing, but they had to know the whole story before they could offer advice. “Like, I mean since he broke into the business.” We all had our favorite singers, the ones we went all fan-girl over when we met them at the awards shows, so Charli wasn’t alone in that, but Dade was going through a tough time and my sister was a rocket, according to my guy friends, so I didn’t want to be the one who lit the fuse.
Gina grinned. “Sounds like you’d be doing her a huge favour by introducing them then. Maybe your sister could finally cross Dade off her bucket list.”
I was pretty sure Dade topped Charli’s bucket list, which was part of the problem. He’d no doubt shut her down, if she ever found the co
urage to make a play for him, and that would crush her.
“Or maybe Dade could finally put a ring on some girl’s finger who wouldn’t run off to have it appraised the next day,” Chris said, frowning. “Like that last little bitch, remember? Tabloids caught her running off to the jeweler the day after he gave her the ring to find out how much it was worth.”
That pretty much summed up the sad story of Dade and women. He acted as their personal ATM and they’d literally drained him dry. He had plenty of money left, but they’d robbed him of the one thing that mattered most: hope. And I hated them for that.
“You know Charli, she could care less about money.” I popped two slices of bread in the toaster as my cell phone buzzed, alerting me to a message from Knox. I was dying to read it, but had to play it cool in front of the girls. “But Knox showed Dade a pic of Charli last night and it was weird.” He looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“Weird how?” Gina asked, munching on her cereal.
“He remembered her.” I glanced at my phone, trying to hide my smile when I saw the heart from Knox. “She’d gone to one of his concerts a couple of years back and he actually remembered her. Said he’d even asked his stage manager to look for her after the show.” My sister would flip shit if I ever told her that. “Can you believe that?”
“Doesn’t sound like Dade,” Gina said, her eyes widening. “He’s pretty cautious about messin’ around with fans, unlike our boy Knox, who would bang anything in a skirt.”
My stomach dropped because… damn it, she was right. Knox had a reputation as a man-whore for a reason. He’d earned it. And I had to remember that before I got in too deep. I didn’t want to let his past define him, because I knew there was a lot more to him than the choices he’d made, but I couldn’t ignore his history with women either. That would be stupid, and I’d already been duped by one man. I couldn’t let that happen again.
Chris laughed. “You can say that again. Did you see that brunette Knox was chatting up after the show last night? Probably took her back to his bus for a quickie before he met up with you and Dade for drinks.”
I turned my back as I buttered my toast, trying to slow my racing heart. We’d laughed about Knox’s pin cushions dozens of times before. To my friends this was no different, but my heart wasn’t invested all those other times.
“I must have missed that,” I said, trying to keep it light. “What was she like?”
Gina grabbed her phone. “Hot. What would you expect, right? I think I have a pic of them kissing. She posted it on Instagram and tagged him. I saw it when I was scrolling comments about the show last night.”
Kissing? WTF? So gonna kill him! Just last night we’d set some very clear boundaries and I thought we were on the same page. Okay, maybe he’d kissed her before our little chat, but we’d just had sex, and he was kissing other girls?
“Here she is.” Gina flashed me her phone. “I think she’s a blogger or something. Pretty big following too.”
I scrolled through the pictures. One of Knox in a lip-lock with the girl. Another of her at the show with a few friends, and a third of her standing by a limo outside the venue. She was tall, stacked, wearing a strapless black dress and CFM heels. Totally Knox’s type. The bastard.
I handed the phone back to my friend. “She’s pretty.” Then I snagged my phone and typed a single word to Knox. Asshole. I thought that pretty much summed it up.
Knox
I re-read Cece’s text, trying to figure out what the hell I’d done to piss her off this time. My girl was fiery, so it’s not like she never let me have it, but I wracked my brain, trying to think of a single thing I’d done to warrant it this time and kept coming up blank.
I texted her back. WTH?
She fired back almost immediately. You really have no idea why I’m pissed?
No. So get your sweet self over here and tell me. I wasn’t above begging, because whatever had her all worked up this morning, I would fix it.
Be there in five. Haul out your body armour. You’re gonna need it.
Uh oh. I didn’t own body armour, but suddenly wished I did.
I poured a second cup of coffee and waited at the kitchen counter, my gut clenching as I considered all the possible scenarios. Losing Cece was the worst case scenario. As my friend. My lover. My back up singer. Not having her in my life anymore… that was something I’d never recover from, and I realized if things went south I’d have no choice. She’d walk. I was going all in, something I’d never done in a relationship before, and the stakes had never been higher. Was I crazy to even consider this? Was it too late to pump the brakes and put an end to this craziness… or was I already in way too deep?
The pounding on my door had me sucking air as I set my coffee down and prepared to make nice. Or beg forgiveness for whatever the hell I’d done. Cece wasn’t the type to go off for no reason. She avoided drama at all costs, so whatever set her off, must be warranted. Maybe a past sin I’d committed. Lord knows there’d been plenty of those.
“Hey.” I hauled her inside, ignoring the fire spitting from her eyes. “What’s up?”
“What’s up?” She flashed her phone at me. “Looks like you were, last night, and not just with me.”
I snatched the phone from her and sighed when I saw the pic that had her all riled up. Shit like this happened all the time. Girls asked for a pic. A little kiss. I offered my cheek, they claimed my lips, and it ended up all over social media. It hadn’t bothered me before, but clearly I hadn’t had a girlfriend before. I obviously needed to get better at setting boundaries.
“I’m sorry, sweetness. I—”
“You let her kiss you? Or you kissed her?” She was tapping her sandal against the tile floor, her corkscrew curls flying as she shook her head when I didn’t respond right away. “You know what? It doesn’t even matter! Point is, you kissed another woman last night. Is this how it’s gonna be, Knox? You kiss whoever the hell you want and I’m supposed to be okay with it?”
“No, Ce.” I reached for her but she held her hand up to push me away. “Look, it was stupid. It never should have happened. She got me off guard and…”
I could tell I wasn’t getting anywhere with her so I pushed my hands through my hair, trying to tame my frustration. I didn’t want to let anyone come between us, but that seemed inevitable, given our line of work. Cece was hot. Guys would be pursuing her. And girls wanted their five minutes of fame by claiming they’d hooked up with me. Maybe when we went public with our relationship it would get easier, but until then, we’d have to deal with bullshit like this.
“She caught you off guard?” she repeated, waiting for my explanation. “How?”
At least she was willing to let me explain. “She asked for a kiss. I offered her my cheek and she grabbed my chin. Turned my face towards hers and planted one on me.” I gestured to her phone. “You can see for yourself in the picture. She grabbed me, not the other way around. I didn’t initiate the kiss and I sure as hell didn’t want it. It lasted all of two seconds before I set her straight.”
“You set her straight?” she repeated, obviously wanting to believe me. “What did you say to her?”
“I told her to back off.”
I wracked my brain, trying to remember what I’d said word for word. It was a five-minute exchange during a charged night. I was still pumped from the show and looking forward to spending time with Cece. This girl and her stupid little stunt was barely a blip on my radar, but I put myself in my girl’s position and realized if there’d been a pic of her online kissing another guy last night I’d be demanding answers too.
“I made it clear that I wasn’t interested and told her we were done with her little Q&A.”
“She’s a blogger?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I didn’t really know who or what she was and didn’t care. I had more important things to think about, like kissing my girl, if she’d let me. I took a step closer, testing her. “Baby, listen to me.” I curled my arms around her waist, br
ushing my lips over her ear. “Shit like this will happen. I hate it, and I know you do too. But you’ve got to learn to trust me.” That would be the biggest hurdle in our relationship, no doubt, because I had a long and messy history with the opposite sex and Cece had always been a one-man woman.
She tipped her head back, looking me in the eye, as she curled her arms around my neck. “I want to. Believe me. But it’s gonna take some time, Knox. I know you and when a pretty girl propositions you, you don’t think twice.”
That may have been true in the past, but I was single then. I didn’t consider myself single anymore. “Listen to me.” I cupped her cheek in my hand, trying not to get distracted by how adorable she was. Just looking at her made my heart race and I wondered how I’d been blind to her beauty for so many years. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you. Only you.” I touched my lips to hers, deepening the kiss when she didn’t pull away. “Will there be other women who make you question me? Probably.” And I hated that. I didn’t want anyone or anything to ever make her doubt what we were building. “Just like there will be guys who piss me off and make me jealous making a play for you.”
She sighed as she threaded her hand through my hair. “I don’t want anyone else either, you know that.”
I did know that, but I appreciated hearing it. “Then that’s all that matters, sweetheart.” I kissed her again, wondering if there was anywhere she needed to be that took precedence over my bedroom. “I’m being straight with you about what happened with that chick last night. And I’ll always be honest with you, I swear.” That was one thing we had going for us. We’d never lied to each other. Truth was the foundation we’d built our friendship on over the years.
“I know.” She rested the top of her head against my chest. “I’m sorry I came at you like that, but seeing you with someone else just kinda set me off. It was stupid. I should have known there was a reasonable explanation. I know you better than to think you’d kiss some other girl after making love to me.”
Bad Habits (Nashville Outlaws #1) Page 11