Bad Habits (Nashville Outlaws #1)

by Cheryl Douglas

  Charli’s lower lip trembled and I could tell she was fighting back tears. Ugh. I was getting everything I’d ever wanted while she was willing to uproot her whole life and pass up a great job opportunity to be there for our parents. I couldn’t let her do that.

  “Ya think?” Charli snorted, blinking back tears. “I could have told you that even before you started seeing that idiot, Leo. Which is why I was so surprised when you slept with—” She slapped her hand over her mouth when Mama eyed her.

  “Who’d you sleep with?” Mama asked me.

  “No one.” I shook my head furiously. “Not important. So, when will Daddy’s surgery be?”

  She twisted her lips and shook her head, pointing a finger at me. “This ain’t over, but I suppose it can wait. The doc said they have to wait at least a week to perform surgery. In the meantime they got him on meds and he’ll be recovering.”

  “Can we see him?” Charli asked.

  We’d each been in to see him briefly, but both my sister and I wanted a little quality time now that we knew open heart surgery was inevitable.

  “Of course,” Mama said. “One at a time though, and don’t say or do anything to get him all riled up.” She winked. “The doc gave me the same warning. Little does he know everything I say gets the old man all worked up.”

  We shared a smile before I said to Charli, “You go in first. I want to sneak outside for a minute and call Knox. Thank him for what he’s doing for Daddy.”

  “And you tell him we’re gonna pay him back every dime,” Mama said. “Lord knows how much it’ll cost, but even if we have to pay a bit each month—”

  “Don’t worry about that now, Mama. Let’s just focus on getting Daddy well.” A few hundred thousand was a drop in the bucket to Knox, but it would have wiped out my parents’ retirement savings.

  “Hey, babe. How’s your dad?”

  Just hearing his voice made me tear up. “I can’t believe what you did,” I whispered. “Offering to take care of his medical expenses? Knox, that goes above and beyond. We can’t thank you enough.”

  He grunted. “Please, Chee is family. I don’t give a shit about the money. The only thing that matters is that he pulls through this. And he will, right?”

  I could tell he was holding his breath when I whispered, “He’ll need a triple bypass in about a week.”

  “Shit.” He sighed. “Okay, but if that’s what it takes to get him back on his feet, that’s what it takes, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  A friend’s mother had a triple bypass a couple of years ago and I knew the recovery period was a month. That meant my mama would need me or my sister to stay at home for a while and help out, because I knew there was no way Daddy would consent to a nurse fussing over him.

  “But, um, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish out this tour with you.” There was a long pause before I added, “I’m so sorry. I hate like hell to leave you in the lurch like this, but Mama’s gonna need help during the recovery and I can’t let Charli take that on by herself.”

  “Okay, yeah, of course. I get it. Take as much time as you need.” He hesitated, “I’m gonna miss you like crazy, but family comes first.”

  Family had to come first, as much as I loved this crazy-generous man. And how long could I expect a guy like Knox to wait around while I played nursemaid to my sick father? Even when he was back home in Nashville I wouldn’t be. It might be months before we saw each other again.

  “So, um, I’m thinking I might have to hang around awhile, even after Daddy’s recovered. Dade was here today and—”

  “Dade was there?”

  “Yeah, with Auden—”

  “Why the hell did Dade bring him?”

  I had to smile as I sank down on a bench in the middle of a circular outline dotted with colorful flowers. “He wanted to make sure I was okay.” I could practically see his scowl when I held the phone away from my ear.

  He grumbled, adding, “I bet he did. Figured you were vulnerable, knew I wasn’t there with you, and saw an opportunity.”

  “Would you stop?” I rubbed my palm on the thigh of my skinny jeans. “He was here as a friend, nothing more.”

  “Whatever. I don’t care about him right now. I just want to make sure you and your family are okay. You need anything, babe?”

  He’d already done more than enough, but I loved him even more for asking. “No thanks, we’re good. But, um, when Dade was here he basically offered my sister a job. I know she wants to take it, but feels she can’t because of everything that’s going on with Daddy. She’s talking about giving up her apartment and moving back home, but I can’t let her do that, Knox. And I can’t let her give up this opportunity to work for Dade.” Even if I was afraid she’d get in too deep and fall for her long-time crush.

  “Okay, so we hire a nurse for your dad and—”

  “That would never work. You know the way he is.”

  “Sweetheart, what are you saying? Are you ever coming back out on the road with me?”

  Tears pricked my eyes when I thought about giving up the life I loved with the man who was quickly becoming the centre of my world, but it didn’t feel like I had a choice. I’d had my shot at my dream and I’d made it come true. Now it was Charli’s turn.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered. “It may not be possible. There’s no telling how much help Daddy will need and Mama just can’t handle it on her own. They’re not getting any younger and after something like this, it just puts everything into perspective. I’d never forgive myself if I felt like I abandoned them when they needed me most.” When he didn’t say anything, I asked, “You can understand that, can’t you?”

  “Yeah, sure.” He cleared his throat. “But Cece, I need you too. You know that, right?”

  “I do.” And I needed him more than I was willing to admit. “But I just need time to sort this out, okay? I know the timing sucks. We’ve only been a couple like a minute…” I knew I had to offer him an out. It was the only fair thing to do. “So if you want to take a breather while I—”

  “A breather?” he shouted. “Are you kidding me, right now? You think I’m letting you go?”

  I knew he wouldn’t want to, but fidelity had never been Knox’s strength and now I was basically asking him to live like a monk until I could get my shit together, however long that might take. Months? Years? There was no telling.

  “Hon, listen to me. I know you love me and I love you… so much.” I brushed away the tears gliding down my cheeks, trying to suppress a sniffle so he wouldn’t know this was tearing my heart out. “But I can’t ask you to wait for me. That’s not fair to you and—”

  “Shut. Up.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. I said shut that sweet little mouth of yours if you’re gonna talk shit about dumpin’ me, ‘cause that’s not gonna happen.”

  “That’s not what I’m trying to do! I love you enough to—”

  “Let me go? Spare me. I already told you, that’s not happening. I don’t care what you say. As long as you love me there’s no one else I want.”

  He was breaking my heart in the best possible way. How did I get so lucky? I wasn’t sure I deserved his love, or him, but I’d never been more grateful for anything.

  “Thank you.” My voice trembled as I said, “I mean it. Thank you.”

  “No thanks necessary. I love you. That’s what you do for the people you love. You step up when they need help. You’re patient and understanding, even when it kills you.”

  And I had no doubt this was killing him, just like it was killing me.

  Chapter 18

  Cece

  It was two days before Daddy’s surgery and we were all hopped up on fear. It was a serious surgery, and so many things could go wrong. We were all terrified of losing him.

  I held his hand, forcing a smile. “Can I get you anything?”

  He scowled. “Yeah, you can get me out of this bed and back home to my recliner. I’m jonesin’ for a be
er and a smoke.”

  I shook my head, knowing some things would never change. “Daddy, you know that stuff is part of the reason you’re here, right? When you go back home you have to make some serious lifestyle changes.”

  He rolled his eyes and grunted. “Yeah, spinach and water. That’s really livin’, ain’t it?”

  “I didn’t say that, but you do have to start eating right and taking better care of yourself, for all of our sakes.” I squeezed his hand. “But especially for Mama’s. Come on now, what would she do without you?”

  His lip tipped up at the corner, almost hidden by his long beard. “She’d have to find a new hobby if she didn’t have me to argue with no more, that’s for damn sure.”

  It was nice to see him feeling better, even if we all knew the worst was yet to come. He’d hate feeling like an invalid, but that would be an inevitable part of the healing process. “As long as you do everything the doctors tell you to do, I’m sure Mama will have many more years to scrap with you.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, she ain’t gettin’ rid of me that easy, baby girl.” His lingering look told me he was trying to read my mind. “Your mama told me what Knox did for me. You know I hate acceptin’ help from anyone, but that was just about the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for your old dad.”

  I nodded, trying not to cry again. I’d shed so many tears over the past five days I was wrung dry. “I know. He’s an amazing man.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You ready to tell me what’s really goin’ on with you two? And don’t tell me nothin’ because no man does what he did for a friend’s father.”

  Knox probably would have helped Daddy even if I’d kept him firmly in the friend zone. He was doing this for me, but more importantly, he was doing this because he considered my daddy a good friend and wanted to help him.

  “We’re more than friends.” And I hoped it would stay that way after months apart. But I knew there were no guarantees and I couldn’t hold it against him if he decided he was tired of being alone.

  I thought of giving him a ‘free pass’ for sex, knowing that’s all it would be with the groupies chasing him, but he probably would’ve lost his shit if I suggested that now. Maybe a month from now he’d be ready to consider the possibility. It would gut me, knowing he was with other people, but I had to be a realist. Knox was a hot guy with a powerful sexual appetite. He wasn’t going to be happy being alone indefinitely.

  “Yeah?”

  “I guess you kind of suspected that the last time we were at your house, huh?”

  “Girl, I’ve known there was more between y’all for years.”

  Then he clearly picked up on signs we hadn’t. “There was nothing between us until recently.” I rubbed my face with my hands. It was late and I was tired, but time was winding down before surgery and I wanted to spend as much time with my father as I could. “But now…”

  “Now what?”

  “I’m in love with the man.” I smiled. “I think, no, I know he’s the one, Daddy.” Being apart from him only reinforced my feelings for him. And it wasn’t a question of us getting to know each other better or figuring out whether we were compatible. No one outside of my family knew me better than Knox did.

  He squeezed my hand. “Can’t tell ya how happy I am to hear that, baby.” He closed his hands. “Truth be told, I always hoped it would be Knox.”

  I wasn’t surprised to hear him say that. Knox was his kind of man. Tough, fearless, no BS. That’s why they’d hit it off from the start. “I can’t say we’ll be able to go the distance, but—”

  “Why the hell wouldn’t ya be able to go the distance?” He scowled. “Y’all get along better than any couple I’ve ever seen. You’re in the same business…” He fixed me with a stony stare before he asked, “Are you afraid he won’t be faithful to you? Because if that’s it, I’ll—”

  “No!” With every day that passed I was more certain that Knox would never look at another woman as long as he had me. But would he have me? That was my biggest fear… that I couldn’t be there for him, no matter how much I might want to. “I know Knox has a reputation, and I can’t deny that scared me at first. It was probably the thing that had me denying my feelings for him for so long, but I believe in him now, Daddy. I know he’d never cheat on me. He loves and respects me too much to do that.”

  “Good. So what’s the problem then?”

  I couldn’t tell him the truth: that being there for him meant I couldn’t be with Knox. He’d tell me there was no way I was putting my life on hold to play nursemaid to him, but he didn’t get a choice. I was going to help take care of him whether he liked it or not. We were family and he was the one who’d always taught us to be there for each other. No way would I let him down when he needed me the most.

  “Things are complicated.” I shook my head. “But it’s nothing for you to worry about. Knox and I will figure things out.”

  “You wanna marry him?”

  I sucked in a breath. There was no way I could think about that now. As much as I wish I had that to look forward to, our relationship was still up for grabs. “Sure, I do—”

  “Good.” He seemed satisfied, like that was the end of the story, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him our story was far from over.

  “Did I tell you that Charli got to meet Dade Jarvis the other day?”

  I’d been trying to distract him with small talk all day, but few topics piqued his interest with his surgery looming. I knew this one would. As much as Daddy liked Knox, I knew he’d have his reservations about Dade. My friend had been divorced twice, with one broken engagement. Daddy believed marriage was forever and men who bailed on their commitments that easily couldn’t be much of a man.

  He shook his head. “She still hangin’ on to that stupid fantasy? I’d say it’s time for your sister to grow up and find a real man.”

  I didn’t want to argue with him, but I couldn’t let him tear Dade down either. “Daddy, Dade’s a great guy. He has lousy taste in women. That’s the reason he’s not happily married.”

  “Whatever.” He crossed his arms, his weathered face a mask of insolence. “If a guy picks the wrong woman once he made a mistake. He picks the wrong woman three times and he’s an idiot, far as I’m concerned.”

  I knew there was no changing his mind. If Charli had her sights set on Dade, and by some miracle he got over his hang-ups and decided to give her a chance, convincing Daddy would be my sister’s problem.

  “He offered her a job,” I said, testing the waters. “As his assistant.” When he twisted his lips, looking unimpressed, I added, “It could be a great opportunity for her. A lot more money and a chance to work in the music business, with one of her idols.” I patted his hand. “I know it would make her happy.” And even though I had my reservations about the arrangement, Charli’s happiness was my top priority. If she didn’t pursue this chance, she just might regret it forever.

  “She take it?”

  “No.” I shook my head, knowing that Daddy would be the only one who could convince her she should. “Not yet, but I hope she will.” I peeked at him through my lashes before glancing at the monitors hooked up to him. Everything looked stable, which meant I wasn’t upsetting him. “Think about it, she could travel all over the world and not have to worry about paying her bills anymore. Wouldn’t that be great?”

  “I guess.” He paused. “I do worry about how she’s takin’ care of herself, that’s for sure. And those unemployed bums she keeps getting mixed up with… well, your rich friend couldn’t be worse than any of them.”

  With Daddy it was all about the baby steps when you were trying to win him over. “It’s not like she’s a contestant on a dating show,” I said, giggling to lighten the mood. “She’s not auditioning to be his wife. She’s applying for a job as his assistant, nothing more.”

  He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “This is the same guy she had plastered all over her bedroom walls as a teenager, right?”

  “Uh, y
eah.”

  “That’s what I thought.” He shook his head. “She may not be applying for the job as his next wife, but something tells me she’ll be fieldin’ the offer anyway if she goes to work for him.”

  Knox

  I was shocked when Aidy called and told me her husband wanted to see me before his surgery. It meant having to cancel a few shows, but I didn’t care. I’d had the jet fueled up and ready to go within a few hours and I was stoked to see my girl again.

  I didn’t know what Chee wanted to talk to me about. If I knew him it was to issue a warning about doing a number on his baby girl, but he didn’t have to worry about that. I’d cut my own arm off before I hurt that woman.

  Aidy told me she’d do her best to keep her daughters away from the hospital that afternoon so we could have some privacy, but she couldn’t make any promises, since it was the day before Chee’s surgery and they all wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

  After getting directions from the nurse’s station and telling a little white lie about being his son-in-law, I tapped on Chee’s door and prepared myself for the worst. This dude had always been a beast of a man, larger than life, and I’d hate like hell to see him looking sickly and trapped in a hospital bed.

  “Come in,” he barked.

  I poked my head in, grinning. “Hey, old man. You up for a visitor?”

  “Get your ass in here, boy.”

  He offered his hand, surprising me with his grip strength. “You know I would’ve been here sooner, right?” I pulled up the chair beside his bed and sat down. “But your daughter was pretty adamant that I continue on with the tour. Can’t tell you how happy I was when Aidy called and told me you wanted to see me.” I gave him a once-over. “Gotta tell ya, you look pretty damn good.”

  He ran a hand over his long white hair, grinning. “I know, right? Sexier than all hell. I think it’s the hospital gown that does it.”