Off Limits

by Glen Robins

  She never got the chance to have another conversation with Thomas.

  At the end of her eighth-grade year, the Burns family abruptly left Boston and moved to Southern California without explanation other than the story her mother told her and anyone who asked. “Your father has an exciting opportunity to further his career.”

  The transition was rough. This wannabe upper-echelon Bostonian family found it difficult to adjust to the more laid-back, casual lifestyle of Huntington Beach. It was foreign to them. While her parents set to work carving out their niche among the social elites in the area, particularly in the medical community, Thomas remained alone in a Boston prison cell, awaiting trial—on his own. Indicted for multiple counts of theft, armed robbery, assault, possession of illegal substances, and the sale of illegal substances, he would be tried as an adult with a public defender as his legal counsel. He had been cut off. Emily’s parents felt the need to distance themselves from him and his problems, as evidenced by their cross-country relocation. Their lack of support spoke of what a disappointment he was to the family name.

  Emily wrestled with the difficult feelings surrounding the upheaval in her family. Her parents had abandoned her brother and her heart ached for him. Nevertheless, she was wise enough to understand that he had brought about much of his own grief through his choices, a nugget of wisdom shared by her mother in a moment of solemnity and reflection months later.

  Emily spent much of that summer before her freshman year alone in her room, with nothing but books and DVD’s to entertain her. Her long and loving letters to her brother were frequent, but never answered.

  She vowed to lead a different kind of life. The biographies of great men and women like Abraham Lincoln, Mother Theresa, Elanor Roosevelt, Helen Keller, Harriett Tubman, Amelia Earhart, and others inspired her to rise above her circumstances and to not let them define her. She made the choice to surround herself with good people who would challenge her to be her best, to constantly strive for high ideals, and never give in to the demons that had dragged her brother down to a gulf of misery.

  She didn’t want to become her parents, but even more, she didn’t want to become her brother.

  Chapter Four

  Sophomore Year—Collin

  Edison High School

  Huntington Beach, California

  Collin’s sophomore started with an altogether different vibe.

  He had hardly seen Emily since she was off in Europe with her mother the whole summer, so things felt stilted with her. When she returned, just a week before school started, she had been nearly impossible to reach. Collin had left multiple messages for her, but she hadn’t called back, which made it awkward when he saw her on campus. While he had wondered what was going on with her, he kept plenty distracted with Rob around all the time.

  Rob had tried to spend some time with his dad right after school let out in June, but that didn’t go well. He returned home to find that his mom was caught up in a new relationship with a guy that Rob couldn’t stand, so he spent most of the summer with Collin and his family. He and Collin surfed almost every day, did some odd jobs around the neighborhood and in the Cook’s backyard to make some money, and got together a total of three times with Darrell Greely for video game competitions, which was unusual. The previous summer, Darrell hosted one of his famed tournaments at least once a week, if not more.

  This summer had been much different. Half the time, Collin’s calls went to the message machine. The other half, his mother answered and said Darrell wasn’t feeling well. While that wasn’t anything new, it was far more frequent than ever before.

  One day, toward the end of summer vacation, Collin had learned why.

  “Mom,” he said, hanging up the phone after recording another message for Darrell, “What’s up with Darrell? He never returns my calls.”

  “Well, dear, his mother says he’s been sick.”

  “Yeah, but that has never stopped him from calling me back and telling me what’s going on.”

  Sarah Cook paused, obviously deciding what to say. “Look, Collin. I’m not supposed to tell you this because Darrell doesn’t want any special attention or sympathy, so keep it between the three of us, OK?” She looked at Rob and Collin and traced a circle with her index finger to encompass her and the two boys.

  “Sure, Mom.”

  “I won’t say a word, either,” said Rob.

  “OK. Here’s what I know: Darrell has been in and out of the hospital several times this summer. He’s had a few setbacks after his last surgery. His body just isn’t responding well. He’s been on pain medications and antibiotics, so he hasn’t been able to do much of anything.”

  Lukas had spent most of his summer in Austria visiting his grandparents and cousins. When he returned, he joined in the surfing sessions when he could, but it wasn’t every day. Collin knew things would norm out with Lukas quickly enough.

  The first day back was certainly not what Collin had expected. Conversations were stiff and awkward because they hadn’t hung out together much during the three-month break.

  The second day was a little more normal. At lunch, they began to reestablish a new routine, figuring out how to reconnect. They shared stories from their summer escapades and adventures. Rob was as entertaining as always, spicing up even the most mundane aspects of his and Collin’s summer. He had everyone laughing and loosening up, but something was off. Everyone shared something and added to the conversation. Everyone, that is, except Emily.

  She lacked any sort of enthusiasm and mostly just listened to everyone else tell stories about their summer exploits. Though she seemed interested enough, she remained quiet. Only when pressed did she talk about her travels through Europe with her mother. Her narrative was short and listless. She recited places she’d visited like bullet points in an outline rather than lively adventures. No mention of her brother, but Collin knew why. Thomas Burns was not to be mentioned in public. Her family was a mess, and her mother didn’t want anyone to know.

  Emily seemed not only distant, but depleted, like the battery inside didn’t have enough left in it to light up her eyes. Collin was concerned, but also ill-equipped to delve into such deep emotional waters, especially with everyone else around, so he stayed on the banks and tried to say something clever that would reignite the spark. Nothing worked.

  If Emily was the main reason the group dynamic felt different, Darrell Greely was the other. It was day three of the new year and Darrell remained unusually quiet. He wasn’t a gifted conversationalist by any means, but with Emily being quieter than normal, Darrell didn’t have the usual stream of questions from her to answer. Ordinarily, in these situations he would be an enthusiastic listener and ask a litany of questions himself. Collin knew why and so did Rob. They exchanged sideways glances, each trying to get Darrell involved in the conversation. Neither succeeded.

  Rob plowed forward, as usual, with an adventure story about the time he had spent at his dad’s lakefront house. Prominent in the story was the number of hot babes he’d seen on the beach and how many phone numbers he’d collected. But Collin’s focus remained on Darrell as he tried to study his face without staring at him. It was obvious that Darrell was masking pain.

  Each day, sadness leached its way further into Collin’s core as he paid closer attention to Darrell’s changing countenance and presence. Rob thought it best not to bring it up.

  “Look, man,” said Rob as they walked together between classes one day. “If Darrell wants to share, he will. If one of us brings it up, though, it’ll only make him more self-conscious. We’re not supposed to know, remember?”

  “Yeah, I know, but I can’t help wanting to know more. I want to help him.”

  “He knows that. If he wants help, he knows who to ask.”

  “Good point,” said Collin.

  The group found its rhythm within a few days. With Rob’s help, Collin was able to coax Emily out of her slump. The two of them got her to laugh, Darrell too. They also drew out a fe
w highlights of her trip. Mostly, though, what he heard during their private conversations between classes or after school was how over-bearing her mother was and how controlling.

  As the weeks progressed, Darrell went from quiet to sad to sullen. By Wednesday of the fourth week, he seemed to struggle more than usual just to walk. Dark circles had settled in around his eyes and an ashen color dimmed the skin of his face. By Thursday, it was apparent to everyone that something was amiss. Emily finally broke the group’s silence. “Darrell, are you OK? I mean, you can hardly keep your eyes open.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just really tired. Don’t worry about me.”

  Then he did something he never did. He asked for some help to get to his fifth and sixth period classes after lunch. Emily carried his backpack up the stairs to his Biology class since her Calculus class was in the same hallway. Lukas met him after Biology and escorted him to Spanish.

  He missed school on Friday.

  Collin worried about him when he didn’t see him that day. Maybe his mom would have the inside track. He made a mental note to bring it up when he got home.

  But, with no homework assignments, a developing heat wave, and a southern swell moving in, Collin and Rob spent Friday afternoon and nearly the whole day Saturday surfing and playing volleyball on the beach with Lukas and their part-time pal, John Robinson. John was Collin’s cooking buddy in Home Economics class and still talked about the incident with Magliano. He had “mad respect” for Collin because of that.

  Sunday afternoon, the Cook’s sat around the dinner table enjoying good food and a lively conversation about Collin’s older brother Richard’s upcoming wedding, even though he was not present, nor was his fiancée, nor was Collin’s older sister, Megan. Richard was living in the Dallas area working for the company his fiancée’s father owned. Megan was starting her sophomore year at Northwestern University in Chicago. So, it was Collin listening to his parents’ excitement and concerns over things like venue and dates and travel arrangements. Thankfully, a football game played on the TV in the background. Even though the sound was off, Collin had a viable distraction.

  A ringing phone interrupted the conversation and brought Collin some relief and hope that the subject would change to something more interesting upon his mother’s return.

  Sarah Cook hurried to the kitchen to answer it. Collin’s hopes were soon dashed as he took note of his mother’s instant change of tone. “Oh, dear,” she said in a muffled voice. “I’m so sorry.” Her voice faltered.

  Collin craned his neck around the corner to view his mother leaning against the kitchen counter. She covered her mouth and bowed her head in silence as she listened intently. Fighting back her emotions, she ended the call by saying, “Yes, of course. I’ll let him know.” After she hung up the phone, she paused, pulling in a long breath as she straightened up and wiped the tears from her eyes. When she returned to the dining room, she looked at Collin’s concerned expression and forced a tight smile.

  Collin stopped breathing. His eyes darted about, finally focusing on the shuttered window behind his mother, watching the sunlight dance off the surface of the pool and cast wavy, sparkling reflections on the walls and ceiling around her. The skies were clear and blue outside, but it was like a storm had blown into the dining room, bringing with it cold dark clouds. A knot formed in Collin’s gut and he knew what his mom was going to say before she said it.

  “Collin, dear, that was Darrell’s mother on the phone.” Sarah Cook paused to control her emotions. “You know Darrell was in and out of the hospital all summer.” She picked her words thoughtfully and spoke slowly, as if she was working up her courage. This sort of preamble was her way of broaching difficult subjects.

  She looked into Collin’s eyes. His gaze dropped to the food on his plate as the gravity of the news began to sink in.

  “He fought long and hard against a rare and incurable disease,” she said, trying to cheer him up. “Instead of spending his last days with tubes and machines and doctors, he chose to spend as much time as he could with you and his other friends. Mrs. Greely said that was what he wanted more than anything, to be treated like a normal kid and to be around people who were nice to him.”

  Tears formed in Collin’s eyes and he quickly wiped them away, trying to keep control.

  “I’m so proud of you Collin for being that kind of a friend.” Sarah’s voice choked and she paused to regain her composure. “Mrs. Greely wanted me to let you know how much your friendship meant to him and how happy he was that you included him in your group and made him feel as normal as a sick kid can feel.”

  Collin couldn’t speak. He raised his eyes and searched his mother’s face, trying to come up with something to say. She, too, was fighting her emotions.

  Henry Cook stood from his seat and moved to a place between his wife and his son. He put his arm around Sarah and one of his large hands on Collin’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything. He just squeezed gently. His presence was like a warm blanket on a cold night. It didn’t stop the storm, but it brought warmth and comfort.

  After a long moment, Sarah knelt next to him and pulled him close. Collin began to shudder. When his face met his mother’s shoulder, Collin began to weep uncontrollably for the first time in years. She patted his back as the waves of grief rolled through his heart.

  When Collin regained his composure, Sarah took the opportunity to enlighten her son about why life sometimes seems unfair and how God works in mysterious ways to bless His children. “We may never know why Darrell was born with the problems he had, but we can find peace knowing that God knows the reasons and has a purpose behind every sorrow and every suffering. We also know it was a blessing to have him in our lives. So, be strong and put your faith in Him no matter what.”

  Still unable to speak, Collin nodded his head and let her words and her calmness permeate through the layers of questions and sadness. The combination of his mother’s ability to find comfort in any situation and his father’s gift of exuding strength gave Collin hope that things would be all right in the end. Whatever the case, when Collin stood, he felt a sense of peace despite such tragic news.

  Chapter Five

  Sophomore Year—Collin

  Edison High School

  Huntington Beach, California

  The day before the funeral, a Friday, Collin and Rob ambled side-by-side along the busy sidewalk on Magnolia Street, having survived a grueling week filled with grief and sadness. They moved slowly at the back of the pack in total silence. Each lost in his own thoughts. Words were not necessary. Collin knew what Rob was thinking and how he was feeling and vice versa. Strange as it was to not have Darrell with them, there was almost a sense of relief knowing that Darrell was in a better place, free of pain and suffering.

  Images of Darrell’s hobbled body and unconquerable spirit flashed through Collin’s mind absently until he heard the familiar demeaning derision from Rick Magliano.

  As was typical for Magliano, he stood near his pimped-out truck with a throng of girls surrounding him. Mixed in with them was the same group of ne’er-do-wells who laughed at everything he said and egged him on in his cruelty.

  “Hey, Cook, did you finally ditch that basket-case buddy of yours? Your lame little retard friend? Somehow you look even more pathetic without him.” The jeers and laughter from Magliano’s flunkies set Collin off again, as they had a year earlier.

  But things were different this year. Collin had grown a few inches and gained a few pounds. At five foot eight and a hundred-fifty pounds, Collin was less dwarfed than before. And, having taken a year’s worth of Tae Kwon Do lessons and having bulked up by lifting weights, Collin was even less intimidated by Magliano.

  Without a second thought, Collin hopped onto the balls of his feet and, quick as a lightning strike, pivoted his whole body as he hammered his right foot into Magliano’s mid-section using all the force he could generate from his legs and torso. This sent Magliano backwards, knocking into the side of his tr
uck. Collin hopped forward and landed a powerful right-hand strike to Magliano’s face, leveraging strength from his legs and torso as he twisted into it. Magliano spun, hit the side of his truck again, then dropped to his hands and knees, coughing and sputtering while blood gushed onto the sidewalk.

  “He died Sunday morning, you sorry sack of trash,” spat Collin. He stood over his victim, hands balled into tight fists, waiting for him to say something or to stand up and meet the challenge.

  Magliano stayed on all fours, fighting to regain his breath. Blood poured from his broken nose. Collin pushed his way through the throng that had quickly swarmed around them.

  Rob followed Collin, adding, “You disgust me,” as he passed the big senior gasping on the sidewalk. The two of them walked on as if nothing important had happened.

  “That jerk,” said Rob a hundred feet later. “I hope that teaches him a lesson.”

  Collin’s jaw muscles loosened up long enough for him to say, “I doubt it.” Collin turned around and walked backwards for a few paces. The crowd was buzzing. Many of them added to what Collin and Rob had said, others looked at Collin in awe.

  After rounding the corner at Atlanta Avenue at the end of the block, Rob burst out, “Did you see his face? I wish I had that on film. That was awesome. He never saw it coming. You shocked the hell out of him, buddy. He actually looked scared. That was so priceless.”

  That got Collin laughing. No one deserved a surprise attack more, not after what he said.

  * * *

  The following Monday at school, kids loitered in the hallways and threw knowing glances in Collin’s direction. He didn’t have to push or maneuver his way through the crowded corridors; a pathway opened up for him as he approached. Kids nodded their approval. A few slapped him on the shoulder. It was a very surreal scene for the unassuming sophomore.