Perfect Distraction

by Allison Ashley

  This might be a challenge.

  Just stick to the routine.

  “Let me start by saying I’ll give you a lot of information today, and it can be overwhelming. I like to go over things in person, but everything is in these papers I’m giving you.” Lauren noted a pad of paper and a pen on Jeni’s lap. “You’re welcome to take notes, but don’t worry if you just want to listen and ask questions. It’s all here for you to look through after you get home and have time to process everything.”

  Lauren looked at every member of the family as she spoke, and they watched her in rapt attention. Each time her eyes met Andrew’s, she felt her face heat. It embarrassed her, but she kept going, trying her best to ignore his perfectly sculpted bone structure and long legs stretched out in front of him, his left foot a mere three inches from the tip of her peep-toe heel.

  She was a professional.

  She didn’t even know him.

  He was a patient.

  She began by telling him the logistics of receiving chemotherapy, including where the infusion center was and why he needed to have a port placed in his chest for intravenous access. “Dr. Patel has prescribed a chemotherapy regimen called ABVD, which is just an acronym for each chemotherapy agent. You’ll hear all of us—myself, Dr. Patel, the infusion nurses—refer to it by this shorthand name. ABVD has four chemotherapy drugs—”

  “Four?” His mom stuttered. She started to cry, and Lauren handed her the box of tissues sitting next to the sink.

  “Mom, calm down,” Jeni said, rubbing the older woman’s hand with her own.

  “Why does he need four? Is it that bad?” she sobbed.

  Lauren leaned forward and rested her forearms on her knees, clasping her hands. “I know it sounds like a lot, but most patients get multiple chemotherapy drugs at once. Cancer is sneaky, and a drug that works on some cancer cells may not work on others.”

  “Wily bastards,” Andrew put in.

  Lauren flicked her gaze to him and grinned for a second. “That’s one way to put it. That’s why we mix several drugs together that work in different ways, to make sure we hit them all.” She moved to squeeze Mrs. Bishop’s hand at the same time she looked at Andrew. “Dr. Patel is the one to speak about response rates, but I can say in your type of cancer, ABVD typically works well.”

  There was a beat of silence.

  “It will work, Mom.” Jeni’s tone was resolute.

  “You’re right.” Mrs. Bishop sniffed and took a deep breath. She moved her hands in a repeated motion near her face, as if to waft fresh air toward her. “We have to keep a positive outlook about this.”

  “We?” Andrew raised an eyebrow. “You’re the only one crying.”

  This brought on a fresh wave of tears. “You’re my s-son! And you have c-c-cancer.”

  “I’m aware.” His tone was deadpan, but he put his arm around her shoulders.

  “Andrew,” Jeni admonished. She pulled another tissue out and handed it to her mother. “Stop making Mom cry.”

  “Seriously? Don’t get mad at me.” He turned to Lauren. “Don’t I get a free pass? A card to put in my wallet or something? An ‘I have cancer, so give me a break’ card?”

  “Uh…” Lauren shifted on her stool. He was joking, right?

  “For heaven’s sake. Can we let her tell us about the chemo?” The dark-haired woman standing against the wall spoke up for the first time.

  The blond sister wiped a tear from her cheek.

  “Yes, let’s get back on track,” Lauren said with a nod. Heat rushed through her when she turned her attention to Andrew, but she pressed on. “You’ll come in every two weeks for chemo and get all four drugs each time. Two rounds of chemo make up one cycle.”

  Once she got in the groove, she relaxed and regained the confidence she usually felt when talking about the drugs she knew so well, spending the next half hour reviewing side effects he could experience. She mentioned which ones were common—fatigue, increased risk of infection, nausea, and vomiting. And a few that were rare but serious enough to mention—lung toxicity, heart damage, neuropathy.

  She also told him about the nausea medications she’d send in for him to use at home in between cycles.

  Lauren’s eyes met Andrew’s brown ones. “Everyone has a different experience. Dr. Patel or her PA, Emma, will see you after your first chemo to find out how you did after you got home.” And just because he was a guy, a young guy, and they were sometimes hesitant to be honest about their symptoms, she added, “They can’t fix something they don’t know about. You have to speak up if you have any issues. Okay?”

  Andrew nodded at the same time his mother said, “We will.” Andrew shook his head the tiniest bit, and Lauren bit her lip to contain her smile.

  “Will we see you, too? When we come back?” his mother asked.

  “Actually, this is my last day in this clinic. Starting tomorrow I’m moving to a different one. But there are several clinical pharmacists in the building available to Dr. Patel and her staff if any medication questions come up,” Lauren said, burying the disappointment she felt that she wouldn’t be following Andrew’s care. “What other questions do you have? About the chemo?”

  “Will he lose his hair?” Jeni asked.

  Lauren couldn’t help but glance at the thick, brown, soft-looking hair covering Andrew’s head. Her fingers twitched, and she gripped her thigh as she brought her eyes down a few inches to meet his. “Yes, I expect you to lose all of it. It starts to thin right after chemo begins, but it usually isn’t noticeable until after the second or third treatment. There comes a point where people get tired of hair everywhere, and that’s when they get it cut short or shaved off.”

  Andrew nodded slowly. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “When do I start?”

  “I’ll write the chemo orders as soon as we’re done. It takes some time to obtain insurance approval, and we have to get your port placed first. Our nurse, Kiara, is probably getting that appointment set up as we speak. Best guess, I’d say in a week.”

  “Does he need to wear a mask when he’s in public?” This from the short-haired, blond sister.

  “That’s usually unnecessary with this chemo. We’ll get lab work done often, and if we ever feel something indicates special precautions, we’ll tell you.”

  “I have two young kids. Can he be around them?” the same sister continued. That explained the PTA shirt.

  “You can’t keep them from me.” Andrew said to his sister, then frowned at Lauren, like she actually had control over who he saw and who he didn’t. “I’m not going months without seeing my niece and nephew.”

  “Of course, that’s fine. Just not if one of them is sick, okay? Otherwise, there are no restrictions. Doing the things and seeing the people that make you happy are important.”

  There was a brief silence, and Lauren waited for additional questions.

  “I have one,” Mrs. Bishop said. “Can Andrew…um, that is…is it safe for him to, you know,” she lowered her voice. “Be with a woman? Intimately?”

  The sudden eruption in the room was startling.

  “Oh my gosh, Mom.”

  “Did you really just ask that?”

  The only sound from Jeni was the slap of her hand across her mouth.

  “Mom!” Andrew was the loudest. His face flushed beet red.

  Lauren told herself to stay calm, despite the fact that thinking about Andrew and sex sent her heart into a dangerous rhythm. She was a professional, and she’d been here before. “It’s common to ask about sex during chemotherapy—”

  Andrew cut her off. “Do not answer that question. Please.”

  “Andrew, I wasn’t born yesterday,” his mother protested. “You’ve been with Caroline for months now, and you need to kno—”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Andrew…�
�

  “Stop.”

  “It’s completely natural—”

  “Caroline and I broke up, okay?”

  Four sharp gasps told Lauren this was something Andrew hadn’t yet told them.

  “You did?”

  “When?”

  “What happened?”

  “If she dumped you because of this, I’m gonna punch her in the ovaries.” Jeni’s jaw was clenched, her eyes positively murderous.

  “Can we talk about this later?” Andrew bit out. “All that matters right now is that we don’t need to talk about sex while I’m on chemo. Okay?” He turned pleading eyes on Lauren. “Can we move on?”

  “Sure, um…I’m all done, if there are no other questions.”

  Mrs. Bishop crossed her arms.

  The two sisters standing against the wall watched Andrew.

  Jeni stared straight ahead, not looking at anything in particular, hands fisted tightly in her lap.

  Andrew was the only one looking at Lauren. His eyes scanned her face and stopped at her mouth for a second before returning to her eyes. “I’m good. Thank you, this was helpful. It’s nice to know what to expect.” He smiled then, a wide, beautiful smile that exposed straight white teeth and transformed his face into something even more glorious than before. Which was really saying something.

  Lauren couldn’t look away. Without conscious thought, she felt her own lips widening to return the smile, like a flower might stretch its petals open to the sunlight.

  “Yes, thank you, Lauren,” Mrs. Bishop’s voice broke in.

  Lauren shifted her gaze. “You’re very welcome.” She stood, careful to look anywhere but at a smiling Andrew. “I’ll send Kiara in, and she’ll walk you out.”

  She stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind her. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wood. Her heart pounded and the tremble in her hands returned. Taking in a deep breath, she returned to the workroom.

  “All done?” Kiara asked.

  “Yep. They’re ready to go.”

  Kiara stood, paperwork in hand, and walked out.

  Lauren unlocked her computer screen and opened Andrew’s chart. His name on the screen seemed different somehow, now that she knew who he was. They’d barely spoken this morning at the coffee shop, but it still felt like they were keeping a secret, from his family and from Dr. Patel. Like their prior involvement was more than a few glances and an accidental crashing of their bodies. When it had happened, she’d been mortified and unbalanced, and could think only of getting to the presentation she didn’t want to be late for. But in the half hour between when she’d finished her lecture and met Andrew in the clinic, she’d replayed the moment in her head over and over. How firm and strong his body had been, and how good he’d smelled.

  Was this some kind of cruel joke the universe was playing on her? For the first time in years, she felt that magical, toe-curling attraction to a man. Yes, he was miles out of her league and way too good-looking not to be a jerk. It seemed she was destined to forever be attracted to men guaranteed to break her heart.

  But the thing that bothered her the most?

  Now he was completely off-limits.

  Chapter Two

  “First chemo tomorrow, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Nervous?” Logan stuffed several fries into his mouth.

  Andrew shrugged and glanced around the restaurant. Servers wove through the room like ants, taking orders and delivering food and drinks to crowded tables. The smoky-sweet aroma of barbeque mixed with fried food wafted from the kitchen, and a burst of laughter sounded from the table behind them. “I just want to get it over with.”

  “Didn’t seem all that bad when my mom went through it,” Logan said. “I went with her a few times, and she just hung out and watched TV the whole time.”

  “I’m not worried about the chemo part. It’s the days that come after that are supposed to suck. I don’t want to be so tired that all I can do is lie around my house, you know? I don’t want to miss class, and I can’t take time off from my internship. I want to go to the gym. Go out with you and the guys. I don’t want my mom and sisters to hang around here…they need to go back to Nebraska if I’m gonna stay sane. But if I get sick after this first round, they’ll never leave me alone.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “He’s not here.” Andrew kept his eyes on his food.

  Logan paused like he wanted to ask more but seemed to decide against it. “It’s not enough that Jeni lives here in Kansas City? She can keep an eye on you.”

  “Have you met my mother?”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Logan took a drink of beer. “If it gets too crowded at your apartment, just send Jeni over to my place. She can take care of me instead.”

  Andrew straightened and looked Logan hard in the eye. “Watch it.”

  Logan grinned, unconcerned. “You’ve got a hot twin, man.”

  “The fact that she and I look alike doesn’t bother you?”

  “She doesn’t look at all like your ugly ass. She’s a hot piece of—”

  “If you want your balls to stay attached to your body, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.”

  Logan snorted. “Fine.”

  Their waitress sauntered up to the table and tossed her long, white-blond hair behind her shoulder. “How we doing, guys?” She flashed a coy smile, and her blue eyes passed back and forth between the two. She focused on Andrew and gave him a blatant once-over, just like she had when they’d first sat down. Another time, he might have encouraged her and asked for her number at the end of the meal. He knew she’d be happy to provide it.

  Wasn’t happening, though. Not today.

  “We’re good, thanks,” Andrew said.

  “Let me know if I can get you anything.” She brushed her fingers across Andrew’s shoulder as she turned. “Anything at all.”

  Logan leaned halfway out of his chair to watch her walk away. “You’d better do something about that, Andrew.”

  “Nah.”

  “Why the hell not? She’s cute, and aren’t tall blondes your type? She actually kind of looks like—”

  “Caroline. I noticed. Not interested.”

  Logan was right. Andrew was usually attracted to blond women. But over the last week-and-a-half, no matter how many times he tried not to, he’d had a certain redheaded pharmacist on his mind.

  He’d been in a terrible mood the day he met Lauren. Part of it had stemmed from his desire to avoid going to the appointment with the entire female side of his family. He wished he could have just told them no, that he wanted to go by himself. Or allowed only Jeni to come with him. As twins, they were the closest siblings of the group, and she was the one he felt most comfortable sharing this with. But it would have hurt their feelings, especially his mom’s, and it wasn’t worth the weeks of grief they’d aim in his direction.

  The other reason he’d started the day pissed off wasn’t something he’d ever say out loud.

  It was hard to even admit to himself.

  He was scared.

  Scared of what the doctor would say, scared of getting chemo, of losing his internship with the best attorney in town.

  If he was really honest, scared of dying.

  Then he’d walked into that coffee shop and caught sight of a curvy redhead standing in line. Her hair wasn’t the typical orange he’d associate with the description; it was a deep auburn, like a glass of red wine. He hadn’t meant to, but he’d looked at the lit-up phone in her hands and saw that she was looking at a very nice set of breasts. The laugh that escaped him in that moment had been such an unexpected delight that morning that he’d watched the back of her head the remaining time he’d stood there.

  She’d known the cashier’s name, and Andrew made a mental note she probably went there often. She’d al
so laughed at something the employee said, and the sound alone had lifted Andrew’s spirits.

  He’d had every intention of saying something incredibly clever and impressive when he’d walked up behind her at the coffee bar.

  “Hi,” or maybe even, “Good morning.”

  But then she’d turned around so quickly and slammed into his chest, and it had been like she doused him with cold water instead of hot coffee.

  He remembered his diagnosis and who he had an appointment with later that morning. His life was suddenly extremely complicated, and no woman would want to get involved in that.

  Caroline sure as hell hadn’t.

  Lauren, though he hadn’t known her name at the time, had looked up at him with those big green eyes, the freckles across her cheeks fading as a pink flush slowly encompassed them. And Andrew had grown angry. He felt constrained by his disease—which meant he would never get to know this unconventionally beautiful woman standing before him.

  She was the last person he’d have expected to walk into his exam room. For forty-five minutes she talked about things he knew were important, but he’d had a hell of a time paying attention. It took everything in him to keep his eyes high, away from her mouth and the collarbone on display with the blue button-up shirt she’d been wearing.

  Then his mom had asked about sex.

  Embarrassment flooded him even now, just thinking about it. He loved his family. Really, he did. But sometimes he just wanted to be left the hell alone.

  “Got it. No more blondes for a while.” Logan’s voice jolted Andrew out of his thoughts.

  “It’s not that.” Andrew put the last bite of his burger into his mouth and chewed. “There’s just no point in getting involved with someone right now.”

  “Dude. Come on. Girls don’t care about that kind of stuff.”

  “Caroline did.”

  “Caroline was a bitch.”

  “No argument there.” Andrew just wished he’d seen it sooner.

  Logan tried again. “Women have that caretaking instinct. They’d line up to take care of you, if you’d let them.”