by S J Amit
“And what do you guys do with them, with the lost people?”
He smiled as though he had waited for me to continue talking to him. “What can we do, Julian? No one owns the Land of the Mosaic, we are all merely part of it. And so, anyone who arrives here can stay. There are no strangers in the Land of the Mosaic. In the beginning, we had set a single condition for anyone wishing to stay - that there would be no restrictions. But that didn’t work. For some reason, they built themselves a permanent residence with walls around it, near the mountains on the other side of the river. Built themselves a ghetto of thoughts,” he laughed out loud. His laughter slightly shook the boat. His steadiness amazed me. “During the changes in season, we had assumed that the lost people would understand that they’re the same as everyone else here, a part of the Land of the Mosaic, but that didn’t happen.”
“Why?”
“Because they don’t allow one another to leave the walls of their colony and travel freely around the Land of the Mosaic, see the views, the earth and the water. The way I see it, they’re scared by the thought of someone leaving them.”
“What’s so scary about that?”
“I don’t know, but they even scare the children, they teach them to be scared and to scare others.” He turned his torso to the left and pointed with the stick to the horizon. “There, in the Colony of the Lost, they teach every child to become no child. And then, once everyone becomes no one, and no one knows who they are, what they want and how they want to live their lives, they allow them to integrate into the adult community.”
I sat on the bench at the back of the boat. My shoes were underneath it, with my socks tucked inside them. I bent my legs back, and my ankles occasionally touched the beams that connected the bench to the boat. The big bags which Kelemance had brought were tied together behind me, between the bench and the back of the boat. He sat in front of me, leaning on the bow with his arms spread out to the side panels, his legs stretched forward. The sun was directly above us, and my pants were almost completely dry. I undid my shirt buttons except for the last one, pulled my pants up over my knees and tied one of the shirts Tipegg had given us around my head.
The boat continued sailing. I could hear the sound of the water flowing, and the occasional knocking of the long stick. It was placed along the boat, going under the bench, between my right leg and the side panel, all the way under Kelemance’s left arm, and sticking out over the bow. Kelemance straightened himself and pointed at the black bags, “Grab the one closest to you.” I turned around and tried to pull the heavy bag towards me. He got up to help me untie the bags from each other, and returned to his seat. I lifted the bag, placed it between my legs and opened it. Inside it there were a few little fabric bags with their tops tied by strings. I took a bag out, it had purple figs and nuts that were still in their shells. I placed the open bag between us on the deck. Kelemance got up to check that I closed the big bag properly, then he took out a sealed jug wrapped in fabric which was tucked in-between the bags. When he sat back down, he laid out the small bag as if it were a tablecloth, and placed the figs and nuts on it. “Eat up, Julian,” he smiled and took a couple of nuts, “You must be hungry.”
“I am actually, pretty hungry,” I said and took a fig, it was still chilled. It was sweet. Kelemance separated the nuts from the shells by cracking them with one hand and picking out the nuts with his other. When he lifted his gaze our eyes met for a moment, and he reached out his hand, his palm flat open with nut pieces on it. “Take it all, there’s plenty more.”
“Thank you,” I answered embarrassedly, took as much as I could grab with my fingers and put it in my mouth. With every chew, the taste intensified in a way that I had never experienced before. He leaned back and cracked a few more nuts. The sound of the nutshells breaking increased my appetite. I tongued my teeth, trying to reach bits of nuts that got stuck, and took another fig. He held a handful of nuts in one hand and nutshells in the other.
“The fish will eat them,” he threw the shells into the water, then ate a few nuts. “Do you want more, Julian? Please, have some.” I put the remaining half of the fig into my mouth, and bowled my hands under his clenched palm. He tilted his hand sideways and slowly loosened his fingers, releasing almost all of the nuts onto my hands. Our eyes met again, his brown eyes were lighter in the sunshine. This time I felt less embarrassment and more of a brotherhood type of feeling. He put the remaining nuts into his mouth and shook out his hands. “Drink some water,” he passed the jug over to me. I took a long sip and gave it back to him. He drank, placed the cork back and put the jug next to him. Then he put his shirt on, leaned his head back against the heightened bow and closed his eyes.
The riverbanks grew further apart. The river became much wider than it was when we had just set sail, and the boat was all alone at the centre of the massive river. The trees on the riverbanks looked smaller. Occasionally a white wing would peek out from under a tree top, then vanish again. I sat on the deck facing the right riverbank, placed the pile of folded clothes on the left side panel, leaned back and put my head on it as if it were a pillow, moving my head from side to side until my neck found a comfortable position. I stretched my legs out, and my feet almost touched the right side panel in front of me. I was blinded by the sun, so I pulled the wrapped shirt from my head down to my forehead, providing shade for my eyes without blocking my view. The right riverbank passed in front of me under the blue sky, and far away in the distance the water kissed the earth. What is that? Monkeys? I got up. Yes! Brown and gray monkeys, not very big, and a few smaller black ones. Some were near the water, some were hanging on branches. “Look, Kelemance, real monkeys!” I sat up. It was the first time since I’d woken up in the hut that I actually smiled. I had never seen monkeys in the wild before. Kelemance, who was still leaning on the bow with his head back and his eyes shut said, “Yes, this is one of the areas where Macaque monkeys come to bathe and drink.” After we’d gotten further away from them, I leaned my head back again, spread the shirt over my face and closed my eyes.
I don’t know how much time had passed before I felt a cool breeze. Then a little droplet on my stomach. Another one. I sat up and pulled the shirt off of my face. The sky was covered by clouds, casting a shadow on the water and the trees. Kelemance was standing at the bow with his back to me and looking straight ahead at the river, then at the sky, and back ahead. After a few moments he turned around and walked up to me. I moved my legs and he pulled out the stick from underneath them.
“Rise up,” he said, “It’s better if you sit.” He pushed the stick into the water.
I quickly sat on the bench and buttoned up my shirt. The sky went gray and the current grew stronger. The treetops on the faraway riverbanks were swaying powerfully. It started raining heavily. Kelemance turned the boat to the left and started rowing towards the left riverbank, which was now in front of us. I wanted to help him, but he seemed so focused on some sort of destination, that I decided not to. I held on to the side panels and readied myself.
“We’re reaching the wind’s meeting point with the river’s current!”
The wind got stronger and thunder roared three times in a row. Heavy rain washed through the boat and hit the river. The boat started swaying and filling with water, and the current was pulling it back to the center of the river and towards the right riverbank. Kelemance shifted the stick from one side to another in the water, turned the boat back towards the left riverbank and continued rowing against the current and the wind with full force.
“We need to find shelter!” He called to me.
I tried to stand up but I was thrown back onto the bags. “How do we get out of here?!” I yelled and rainwater sprayed out of my mouth.
“We’re going deep into the Land of the Mosaic! The winds are pulling us out! But the current is pushing us in! We’ll have to brace through the storm until we manage to cross the river and get to the riverbank, we’ll
wait there. The storms are dangerous! We mustn’t get distracted and lose control of the boat and the direction of sail!”
I tried to evaluate our distance from each of the riverbanks, but I could hardly see them through the harsh rain. I thought I could see people waving their arms up high at us on the right riverbank, which was growing further away from us, or were they just branches swinging in the wind?
“Look, Kelemance, I think there are people there!”
He glanced back and continued rowing.
“Why are you rowing in the opposite direction?! The wind is pulling us towards them!”
I lowered myself to the deck and sat on my knees, turned around and leaned on the bench, facing the riverbank behind us. The boat swayed violently from side to side. Water was splashing every which way. “Look how many people are there!” I turned to him, “They’re calling us!”
“Julian, that is not your path!” He shouted.
“What?!” I stood up and tried to steady myself, “What do you mean ‘my path’? They want to help us! They can save us! They’re tryi- Wow!” The boat shook and flung me into the river. I dived deep down, the waters gushing above me. I opened my eyes underwater and battled my way up, thrashing my arms and legs wildly. “Kele-mance!” I spat out water, couldn’t breathe. I quickly grabbed the stick, the boat was turning with the winds and moving towards the right riverbank. He pulled me and I pushed my legs against the water until I managed to hang onto the bow. “Quickly, Julian! Climb back into the boat!” He threw the stick into the boat, and pulled me up with all his might until I rolled into the boat and he fell backwards, but he got back up straight away and lifted the stick. Full of conviction, he turned the boat around again and rowed with all his strength towards the left riverbank.
I laid on my side on the deck which was filled with water, coughed violently and spewed water out. I tried to sit up and lean back against the bench. My legs were bleeding. I must have smashed them against some rocks or tree trunks underwater, and hadn’t felt it in my panic. I panted and looked at the people far away in the distance, they were still waving at us, shifting around and jumping frantically.
“Who are those people?!” It was difficult for me to raise my voice as I was still out of breath. Kelemance was standing with his back to me and rowing against the wind, I wasn’t sure that he could hear me.
“Those are the people from the Colony of the Lost!” He shouted with his back to me, “The more you fight to stay on the boat with me, the more they’ll multiply on the opposite riverbank! None of them could ever manage to fight the storms and the vicious winds!”
My eyes burned. My hands ached. I looked at Kelemance fighting, rowing continuously. I dragged myself to the left side of the boat, leaned over the side panel and tried to help him by rowing with my hands. How did I get to that situation? What was I even doing there? It was only yesterday that I had been to the pharmacy near my house… I couldn’t row anymore. I felt completely desperate. I stared at the furious river. If I were to have just stayed in the water and kept hold of the stick, the boat would have already reached them.
“Julian, the storm is draining! The winds are disorienting! The people from the Colony of the Lost don’t want to save you, they want to save themselves from the possibility of you reaching the pinecone apothecary!”
“I can’t do it anymore…” I slid back into the water which had collected in the boat.
“Look around you!” He swiftly glanced back at me and turned back to look ahead. “You managed to reach the Valley of Abandoned Issues. The way in is always harder than the way out!” He screamed. “I know that you can’t see the horizon in the distance when you’re in the eye of the storm, I know you don’t see the logic in continuing to fight for your path! It must be terrifying! But fear is the starting point for bravery, and fearless action is nothing but stupidity which leans on luck, and that’s a decision for the heart to make, not the mind! Let’s keep rowing. Listen to the free spirit within you, let it decide together with your heart!”
My pants were torn, my shirt too. My hands were scratched and my knees bled. Lightning bolts cracked through the sky repeatedly and the thunder was only getting louder. Heavy rain poured down continuously and water was splashing in every direction. The boat went up and down, swayed and rattled, and Kelemance rowed. He didn’t stop rowing, drenched in water he stood at the bow with his back to me and his legs wide apart and planted steadily, keeping his balance. Shook his head and spat, rowing from the right and from the left. He didn’t look back, nothing was going to stop him, not the rain, not the waves, not the current and the wind, and not the people behind us. With conviction, strength, with madness for the thing itself, with wild precision and with charisma, he didn’t give up. And the boat slowly neared the left riverbank.
I returned to leaning over the left side panel and rowing with my hands along with Kelemance.
The storm in the river wouldn’t subside, even as we got closer to the left riverbank. I could already see it clearly in front of us. We got closer to the kelp that stuck out of the water, and when I could already feel it on the tips of my injured fingers, I became filled with renewed energy not to give up. Kelemance leaped off the boat, stood on its right side in the water and pulled it by the bow. I jumped off too and pulled from its left side. Our legs sunk in the mud with every step taken until we got out of the river. The wet ground was covered in brown leaves, and thick tree trunks were towering above us. We pulled the boat out to the riverbank with all our strength. I fell to the ground in exhaustion. Kelemance almost collapsed too, but stopped and bent forward. He leaned on his thighs with his hands, curled his head down and panted.
The heavy rain didn’t stop, even when I turned to lie on my back and spread my arms and legs out to the sides. Our eyes met and we looked at one another for a long while, breathing heavily, remaining silent. I didn’t know if to feel happy or worried, didn’t know if I had fulfilled his expectations of me, if I’d managed to reach the purpose that he had in mind for me before we started sailing, or whether there were still dangers awaiting me on my journey. Why was I even listening to him? Where was he taking me? The feeling of relief that I had experienced only a moment before was swiftly replaced by despair.
“Now they’ll return to their colony and talk about the one who wouldn’t give up, the one who managed to cross the river. You’ll transform from a madman into a hero,” Kelemance said and pulled the boat towards the trees. I didn’t have the strength to get up and help him.
The rain continued pouring and the sound of the drops on the tree leaves was heard loudly, my entire body ached as I slowly sat up and gazed at the raging river before me. The sky was gray, and my clothes were drenched, torn and covered in mud. My knees and my shins were scratched and bleeding, my shirt had bloodstains on it too. I lifted it up a bit. There was a large and bloody cut above my left rib, my whole left side was scratched and bruised. Kelemance stood between the trees, held the bow of the boat with both hands and tilted it. By the time I managed to reach him, he had already emptied most of the water out of the boat and placed it against one of the stout tree trunks. I sat down on the other side of the tree, its branches slightly sheltering me from the rain. I could hear him going through the bags, the friction of the fabrics against each other and the knocking of items which must have fallen out.
“Show me your legs for a moment,” he sat in front of me holding a white rolled-up handkerchief.
I threw a rock on the tree trunk opposite me.
“Why are you angry?” He unravelled the handkerchief. It had three purple flowers inside it.
“I’m not angry, Kelemance, I feel frustrated and disheartened. I have no idea what’s happening here and that scares me,” I sighed.
“Julian, you’re allowed to think about the unfathomable without fearing that which is unknown,” he said and shook out the handkerchief. “We have just crossed the wind’s meeting
point with the river’s current. That’s not something to be taken for granted for someone who has come here from afar,” he nodded at me with a slight smile.
“Great. I’ve reached my target, I stayed on the boat with you and managed to get here. So what? I’ve been reaching targets my entire life.”
He was using the handkerchief with his one hand to soak up the blood from all of my cuts and scratches, and with his other hand he was holding the flowers. I felt slight stings, but I didn’t care. “Wait for the storm to pass,” he said as he placed the handkerchief against the cut above my rib, which was now bleeding even more, “You’ll see that in the Valley of Abandoned Issues, the river’s current always continues to move forward, deeper into the Land of the Mosaic, never changing its course. All you need to do is continue sailing.”
“Kelemance, I don’t know why I’m staying here with you and I have no idea where I’m headed!”
“Julian, if you give up now, you won’t get to see the renewal of the water.” He scrunched the handkerchief into a little red and white ball. “If you give up now, you’ll only remember the storm and falling into the water, you won’t feel safe enough to get back on the boat, you won’t enter into the depths of the Land of the Mosaic, and the pinecone apothecary will become non-existent.”
“Leave me alone!” I threw another rock with greater force. It left a mark on the tree trunk.
“Do you know what you should do?” he reached out his hand as though he wanted to help me get up.