Zero Regret

by Autumn Jones Lake

  “Jesus Christ, like I don’t have enough to do.” He puts his hands on his hips and ducks his head. “Fine, you know what? I need a favor.”

  “What kind of favor?”

  “I got a fight out in Johnsonville tomorrow. I could use the extra backup.”

  I’m about to strangle his fucking ass. For still taking on underground fights even though everyone upstate has pretty much told him to stop. And also for springing it on me so last minute. “You fuckin’ serious? The president gig isn’t exactly leaving me lots of recreational time, you know. And I’m supposed to leave for California soon.”

  Murphy shrugs. “Have some more of the brothers roll with us. It can be a fun bonding activity for the club.”

  “Do I look like your summer camp counselor, ya dick? I thought you were done with this shit?”

  “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need you there, Z.”

  Guilt, a powerful motivator for a brother. “Fucker.”

  He gives me a triumphant grin that makes me want to kick his ass. “Fine.” I’m not done making demands, though. “If you promise you’ll get the pool and gym sorted out before I get back from Cali.”

  There, that ought to keep his ass out of trouble.

  “You got it.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Z

  I should’ve known this calm streak couldn’t last.

  The dogs are frolicking in the backyard and we’re about to go outside when Lilly’s phone rings.

  She picks it up and glances at the screen. “It’s Mara. I should take it.”

  “You should invite her to come visit.”

  She nods and answers the call.

  I pick up Chance. “Want to swim?” Silly question. The answer is always yes.

  “What?” Lilly’s shrill tone has Chance and me turning our heads.

  I move closer, hoping to overhear some of their conversation.

  “Well, good luck to them. I’m at the house—”

  “Don’t tell me!” Mara shrieks so loud I can hear her from where I’m standing.

  “Let’s go pick out your swim trunks,” I say to Chance. Aunt Hope and Aunt Trinity went bananas buying stuff for Chance once we settled into the house. The kid has enough clothes to fill an entire mall.

  He’s settled on a blue pair with bright red lobsters when Lilly finds us.

  “They’re trying to subpoena me again.”

  The happiness clinging to me from spending the day with my family evaporates. My obsession with Lilly turns dark and hostile with the need to protect her. To protect our family. “What do they think you know?”

  “I have no idea.” She bites her lip. “I’m scared. I can’t do it, Z. I can’t be in the same room with him again.”

  “Hey,” I stand and pull her into my arms, “no one’s forcing you to do anything. What did Mara say?”

  “To lay low. Dodge the process server as long as I can. Hang out at the house since technically no one knows I’m down here.”

  “All right. So that’s what we’ll do.”

  “I’m worried they’ll go to my brother’s house or my parents’.”

  “So what if they do? Fuck ‘em. They know you worked at the legislature. They must have heard about the trial. Nothing else should come up.”

  She drops her gaze to Chance who’s playing on the floor with some of his cars. “I don’t want him to know about Chance,” she whispers.

  No need to ask which him she’s referring to. I brush my knuckles over her cheek. “It’s clear to anyone with eyes that he’s mine.” I swallow hard, afraid I won’t like the answer to my next question. “Did you name me as the father on his birth certificate?”

  Her scared eyes meet mine. “I did,” she whispers. “I wanted it to be true with all my heart, and figured if it wasn’t…”

  “It doesn’t matter. I’m glad you did. And obviously it’s true.”

  She nods, but fear still lingers in her eyes.

  “What can I do, Lilly?” Besides, kill Senator Kelly, because I’m definitely doing that as soon as possible.

  “Nothing right now.” The worry fades and she shrugs. “Being holed up in the house with my two favorite men isn’t exactly a hardship.”

  The corners of my mouth twitch. “That’s my girl. We’re going to get through this and everything will be fine.”

  * * *

  After convincing her to put on a red two-piece, that’s become my absolute favorite thing ever, I encourage her and Chance to go outside so I can duck into the office upstairs and make a phone call.

  Loco doesn’t seem as happy to hear from me today.

  “Z I’m trying. It’s not like I can stick some pop-up ads on his phone, man. What do you want me to do, send him a damn flyer?”

  “Don’t be a dick.” I probably shouldn’t be that harsh with Loco. He tends to get bent out of shape easily.

  “Stop dogging me then. You’re the first call I make if I get what you want.”

  “Thanks, Loco.”

  “No problem. I’m always happy when the Kings owe me a favor.”

  Of course he is.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Z

  With Lilly planning a girls’ night at the house, I’m confident she’ll be safe. She didn’t want to tell Charlotte or Heidi about the subpoena, but I still gave them the reminder not to open the door for anyone not wearing our colors while I’m out.

  There’s shit to take care of at the clubhouse and Murphy’s still dragging me to this fight tonight. I can’t do anything but wait, which kills me. I’m a man of action. Sitting around waiting for a phone call isn’t my style.

  While I got the approval from my brothers upstate, Rooster and I have been planning to bomb Senator Kelly all on our own. No reason to risk anyone else getting involved.

  “Bro, maybe we should go at it a different way?” Rooster suggests.

  “He’s got cameras all over that property. I don’t know where else we can do it and not be seen.”

  Murphy knocks on the chapel door and pushes it open. “You ready?”

  “Fuck me. We still doing this?”

  He just rolls his eyes at me.

  “You coming, Rooster?”

  “Sure, why not.”

  Bikers are supposed to be all about freedom from society’s rules, doing what we want, when we want, so I won’t try to stop Murphy. Unless it starts interfering with club business somehow.

  I’ll happily hassle the shit out of him though. Right up until he needs to get serious and focus. I may be annoyed with him, but that doesn’t mean I want him to get hurt.

  Somehow Murphy roped Jigsaw into a match as well, so now it really is a club matter. It’s almost two hours from the clubhouse. A good, long ride that does little to clear my head.

  Wrath’s business partner, Jake, is also on tonight’s roster. “Thought you retired, Mr. Wallace?”

  “Nah, a good fight once in a while does wonders for you.”

  “Wonders for your bed,” Murphy jokes. “He can’t find a date otherwise.”

  “What would you know about it?” Jake laughs and shoves Murphy. “You’re all wifed-up, pretty ginger.”

  I bark out a laugh. “Pretty ginger, I’ll have to remember that.”

  Murphy’s less amused.

  Ravage, Stash, and Birch amble through the crowd to join us.

  “Fuck, I didn’t expect to see you here.” I pull each of them in for a quick handshake and backslap.

  “Wouldn’t miss this for anything.” Rav rubs his hands together and searches the room. “Where the ring bunnies at?”

  “Thanks for the support, bro,” Murphy says.

  Stash slaps Rav’s shoulder. “Don’t chase the girls away like you do at the clubhouse.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m God’s gift to women,” Ravage announces.

  “More like God’s curse,” I mutter, cracking the guys up.

  “If anything scared them away, it’s all the babies at the clubhouse now,” Rav
says. “No offense, Z.”

  “None taken. There’s only one baby in the clubhouse—you.”

  “That’s cold, bro.” He shrugs. “At least Grace is a cute little shit. Except when she’s screaming her head off.”

  Tired of Rav already, I turn to Jake. “You recruiting people for the gym here?” Wrath gave up the underground circuit a couple years ago, and runs a completely legit gym. I can’t see him being okay with Jake potentially making Furious look bad if this ring ever gets shut down.

  “Nah, some of ‘em work out at Sully’s place. It’s not about that though. Lot of young, heavy betters with more money than brains. You should make out well tonight.”

  I’m still unimpressed. Upstate is doing fine and my bank account is flush. Although, we’ve neglected to share most of our glowing financials with anyone outside of upstate, so I still need to keep up the appearance that I’m always looking to score easy cash.

  And let’s face it, downstate needs all the help it can get. Jigsaw’s fight will hopefully bring in some hefty returns for the club.

  Really, I don’t give a shit if the younger brothers want to make money getting the shit kicked out of them. Their bodies, their decisions. Murphy, who has a family to take care of, annoys me more. Especially, since I know he’s keeping this from Heidi.

  Yeah, yeah, brothers are supposed to be secretive with their old ladies. Even if I don’t like it, I’d never rat him out to Heidi. That’s just not how the brotherhood works.

  I glance around the building. The kids running this ring call it The Castle. It looks like a fortress from the outside. Used to be a juvenile detention facility. Pretty sure it’s the same one Teller spent some time in way back when he was a hang-around for the club.

  While Jake mentioned the privileged youth, who hang out here hoping to impress their buddies or make some cash, I also see plenty of shifty-eyed youngsters. The kind who might make decent prospects if mentored correctly.

  “You ever consider looking for some prospects while you’re here living out your degenerate boxer fantasies?” I ask Murphy.

  “Of course, I do.” He claps a hand on my shoulder and points me in the direction of two early-twentyish guys working their way through the crowd.

  “Remy and Griff run this ring. They’re honest and no bullshit. Both excellent fighters. Remy could turn pro if he wanted.”

  “Do either of them ride?” Can’t join the Lost Kings if you don’t ride a minimum number of hours a year. Never been an issue for any of us because it’s in our blood. Not a lot of young guys have the desire anymore.

  “Remy does. A 2014 Night Rod I helped him find.”

  “Sounds about right.” Nice bike with a lot of power, but not the best for long road trips.

  Now Murphy’s excited. Like most of us, he can talk about bikes forever. “It’s pretty wicked. Still mostly stock but he chopped out the rear fender, blacked out all the metal. Kept almost everything else.”

  “Talk to him about stopping by or hanging around?”

  “Yeah, I don’t think he has a lot of free time.”

  “Won’t make it as a prospect then.” Prospects get all the bitch work and are expected to drop everything when the club needs ‘em. Harder and harder to find someone with that level of dedication.

  “I’ll feel out the situation some more.”

  Since Jigsaw’s new here, he should probably go in one of the first rounds. Apparently, Murphy has some pull here and Griff places him in a later fight.

  “Don’t embarrass me tonight,” Murphy warns Jigsaw without his usual I’m-just-fucking-with-you smile.

  Whatever tonight is, it’s a big deal. There are more matches than I’ve usually seen at one of these things. Louder music. More energy than my thirty-eight-year-old ass feels like dealing with.

  Christ, this president gig has aged me twenty years.

  Finally, Jigsaw’s up and he’s impressive in the ring.

  “He shoulda been called Buzzsaw,” I say to Murphy.

  “Shit, yeah. I feel kinda bad for giving him a hard time now.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  One corner of his mouth quirks up. “True.” A little more seriously, he adds, “But he’s good.”

  “Your boy’s not gonna get too cocky, is he?” Jake asks Murphy in a voice so low, I almost can’t hear him.

  “Why?”

  “Brady’s a cop.”

  “Shit, seriously?” I blurt out.

  Jake shrugs.

  “What happens here is supposed to stay here. Cop or not, Brady’s gotta know that,” Murphy says.

  Jigsaw, thankfully, isn’t a show-off and he doesn’t fight dirty. He wins, but it’s close.

  “Jigsaw!” Rooster roars, throwing his arms up in a victory sign. “Wooo!”

  Then it’s Murphy’s turn. “Make me proud, Gingersnap.” He rolls his eyes at the stupid nickname he picked up at another MC’s clubhouse we’re friendly with.

  As annoyed as I am with Murphy for still fighting, he’s damn talented. The asshole he’s up against, not so much.

  “Is Murphy holding back?” I ask Jake.

  “Probably. I don’t think this guy knows what he’s doing.”

  Before each match, Griff lays out the rules to everyone. Yeah, it’s an underground match, but there are a few rules to keep things civil. I actually respect that and wonder how they handle it when people break the rules.

  His opponent takes a dirty shot before the next whistle blows, snapping Murphy’s head back.

  “Motherfucker.” My whole body tenses, preparing to fuck this guy up.

  “Shit,” Jake mumbles. “Here we go.”

  “You got his back?”

  “Fuck yeah, I do.”

  We wait, watching the match.

  “That’s how he got Gingersnap,” Jake says after Murphy lets loose a punishing blur of shots that take his opponent to the mat.

  “Yup.”

  There’s a flurry of activity when the match is called in Murphy’s favor. I jostle through the crowd to make sure I’m at Murphy’s side when he comes out of the ring.

  He grins at me. “See, told you I still had it.”

  “Never doubted it, brother. Let’s go.”

  Griff walks over and hands Murphy his money for the night. They engage in a tight, pulling-each-other in, slapping-backs kind of handshake, that Murphy normally wouldn’t allow from a stranger. Just how often is he coming out here to pick up fights?

  The kid surprises me by shaking my hand too. “Thank you so much for allowing Murphy and Jigsaw in our ring tonight.”

  Huh. Respectful attitude for someone his age. “No problem. Murphy speaks highly of you and your partner.”

  “Good to hear.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “I have to get ready for the next match. Stay as long as you want.”

  He melts back into the crowd.

  “Are he and Remy, like gay partners-partners or just partners?” Ravage asks.

  “Who gives a shit?” Murphy growls.

  “You worry about the stupidest stuff,” I add. I nod at the other kid Murphy pointed out earlier. “I’m guessing by the number of bunnies hanging off his jock, they’re business partners.”

  Jake overhears the last part of the conversation and laughs. “Griff’s hard up for Remy’s little sister.”

  “How ‘bout that.” I poke Murphy in the chest. “No wonder you two get along so well.”

  “Shut up, dick.”

  “You speak to Rock like that?”

  Murphy shrugs. “He’s not a dick like you are.”

  Jake crosses his arms over his chest, his gaze ping-ponging between us. “Man, this is better than hanging out with Wrath and Murphy.”

  “Please tell me Wrath kicks his ass more often?”

  Jake laughs. “Not that I’ve seen.”

  “Hey, Jake.” I turn more serious because I should’ve said this earlier. “Thanks for that class you taught the girls. It, uh, came in handy for Lilly.”

&
nbsp; “I’m glad to hear it.” He frowns. “Well, not if someone messed with her.” He pauses and glances away as if he’s considering his words carefully. “Some of the floor choke holds, where we get inside the guard,” He must feel the heat of my glare because he holds his hands in the air, “I had the girls practice those moves on each other. But seriously, she seemed freaked out. I didn’t want to make a big deal, so I had her skip it.”

  There’s that sick feeling rolling through my gut again. More secrets Lilly’s keeping. She never mentioned anything at the class bothered her.

  Was it normal discomfort from trying something new or is there a more specific reason it bothered her?

  And if there’s more to it, is it a secret I’m even entitled to?

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Z

  The next day I get the news I’ve been waiting for.

  “I got your man!” someone shouts into the phone when I answer it.

  “Who is this?”

  “Loco.” He almost sounds hurt.

  “Sorry, didn’t recognize the number.” The last thing I want to do is offend him when I think he’s calling with the news I really need to hear.

  “Your sicko placed an order today. I told him we couldn’t accommodate his request until later.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Loco won’t say more than that over the phone, so I’ll have to wait for the details.

  It’s been a tense couple of days, waiting to see if anyone jumps out and slaps a subpoena in Lilly’s hands. She hasn’t left the house much.

  After tonight, she won’t have to worry anymore.

  “I’m sorry, Lilly, I have to go.”

  Her weak smile doesn’t do a lot to hide her surprise. Can’t blame her, told her this morning I’d be home all day.

  “Club business,” I offer as an explanation. It’s not quite true, but I have a feeling if I confide that I’m off to murder Senator Kelly, she’ll try to stop me.

  “Is everything okay?”