Love, Laughter & Happily Ever After: A sweet romantic comedy collection

by Ellie Hall

  I could hear Granny’s footsteps approaching and I took a few deep breaths to try and dispel my frustration with her. “What’s taking you two so long? My stomach is going to implode if I don’t get some sustenance. Get stepping.”

  She took the salad out of Nick’s hands and headed back outside. Exchanging a quick if awkward grin with Nick, I moved to follow until Nick took me by the arm.

  “Don’t worry, Maren.” Nick’s eyes were the color of water, but as I sank into them, happily ready to drown, they seemed alight with fire. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

  4

  The pleasantly cool mornings of early summer were long gone. It was only eight and already, sweat dripped down my face and stung my eyes. I used my shirt to sop it up and would have given my right arm if I could run to the kitchen where I had a stash of popsicles in the freezer, but I had committed to waiting behind the sprawling lilac bush no matter how long it took. As dumb as it was to be spying on cows, there was a reason for my madcap scheme. The same herd of year-old heifers that had unceremoniously dropped the cow patty I had landed in when I fell off the porch swing had gotten out again yesterday. Luckily, I’d caught them before they’d made it very far, and with a bucket overflowing with sweet feed like Maren had shown me, they were easy enough to get back into the paddock. After they were secured, I walked the perimeter of the fence line and found a gate popped open. I firmly shut it, rattled it to make sure it was sturdy, and stood staring at the gate for a good five minutes like it was going to speak and tell me what happened. I had a suspicion about the herd’s ability to escape and I was going to stay there until I proved it.

  Or I died of heat exhaustion.

  I did have other things I should probably be doing, like sending out resumes. It’d be hard to get a job if I never applied and the Grange’s gig wasn’t going to last forever.

  Seconds ticked by with only the sounds of a breeze rustling the cottonwood leaves filling the air. At first, I’d perceived the quiet as a lack of pulse to my new surroundings until I realized there was a heartbeat in the country. It was just slower, and despite my initial reservations, I was learning to like it.

  Having Maren as a neighbor was definitely a nice perk, too.

  I thought I’d lost Maren a long time ago, but I should have known that life was rarely what I planned it would be. A year ago, there was no question that I was at the right job and that Brittney was the woman for me but instead of all I thought I’d wanted, I had been given exactly what I needed.

  I brushed another trickle of sweat off my forehead and though I could still feel Brittney’s knife in my back, my thoughts lazily swirled their way back to Maren. Flirting with her over the past few weeks had been harmless and fun and I was surprised to discover it had restored a measure of my hope that relationships weren’t the bane of the human experience. At first, things between us had been stiff. Destroying the porch swing aside, the way we’d parted when we were younger had been abrupt and awkward. I’d always carried guilt for how I’d cut her out of my life with surgical precision. I was grateful for second chances. We’d been able to move past our halting conversations and if I wasn’t imagining things, our renewed friendship was blossoming nicely. She was an answer to all the prayers I hadn’t known I’d been asking.

  The tinkling noise of metal against metal snapped me out of my reverie. I parted the branches so I could get a clear view of the herd and saw one of the cows, dewy-eyed and sniffing at the gate while rhythmically swinging her tail at the flies pestering her. I swore she knew I was watching and was biding her time to attempt another escape until I wouldn’t be there to catch her.

  “Come on. I’m not fooled by your innocent act.” I coiled, ready to spring into action when the cow made her move. “You’re the one, aren’t you?”

  “Am I interrupting something?” I yelped with surprise and sprung into the lilac bush. Wriggling out of the gnarled branches, I found a very bemused Maren staring down at me. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but you’re kind of jumpy.”

  Without a word, I reached for her wrist and tugged Maren down. Caught off guard, she tumbled into my lap and I clapped a hand over her mouth. “Shh!”

  The cows were staring and snorting in our direction and while I should have been focused on solving the bovine mystery, all I could think was that Maren was sitting on my lap with my arms around her. When my gaze met hers, her eyes were wide and searching, looking for some possible explanation of my erratic behavior.

  Then, she licked my palm.

  Since living at the Grange’s, that was hardly the grossest thing that had happened to me, but it was an instinctive reaction to pull away.

  “What was that for?” I shook my hand and swiped my hand on my jeans. “How old are you? Five?”

  She ran her arm across her mouth and grinned. “I think I have the right to free myself by any means necessary when I’m being held against my will.”

  Though she’d successfully gotten my hand off her mouth, she hadn’t done anything to push herself off my knee. In such close proximity, I could see a ring of gold in her rich brown eyes and the smell of her freshly washed hair and clean laundry that had been dried out in the sun. It would have been nice to keep her there, but she’d already proven she was willing to go to drastic measures to get out of my grip. I really didn’t want to get kicked in the groin by pushing my luck. Letting her go, she scooted off my lap and smoothed a hand down the length of her ponytail. It wasn’t exactly my suavest moment, but it wasn’t like I was complaining. I liked the feel of her against me, almost like she was the puzzle piece that’d been missing since Brittney had called off our engagement.

  I shook my head, trying to rattle the thought out of my head. A new relationship was a no-no because it wouldn’t be fair to do that to Maren. She deserved someone who wasn’t damaged by another woman.

  “Sorry,” I said in hushed tones. “I didn’t mean to react so…”

  “Psycho-ly?”

  “Uh, I don’t think that’s a word.”

  “Uh, I beg to differ. I came wandering along innocently so I could ask something and you attacked me.”

  “Yeah, well I’m on a covert mission and you almost blew my cover.”

  Maren smiled tightly, holding back her amusement as her eyebrows crept upward. “I see that. Do you mind if I ask what your mission is? Or is it classified by the CIA?”

  “Alright. Maybe I’m being a little intense, but I’m pretty sure I’m on the brink of figuring something out.”

  “That you’re about to crack, living for a month in near-solitude?” Maren’s straight face lasted about two seconds before she broke down and laughed. It was playful and teasing and made me feel like a fool while also making my pulse tick along happily. She was a conundrum.

  “Go ahead. Laugh it up. I’m about to prove that one of the cows has figured out how to let herself and all her friends out and that’s why they keep escaping.”

  Maren nodded. “Right.”

  “I’m serious. If one of them hasn’t evolved fingers in place of hooves, my second guess is that she’s using telepathy.”

  Maren’s laughter was as infectious as ever and I joined in with her, both of us trying desperately to keep quiet so we wouldn’t spook the herd. I might have laughed until I died if Maren hadn’t crouched down next to me, brushing her arm innocently against mine. The brief touch was enough to send a thrilling tingle running up my nerves, sending a happy signal straight to my brain and immediately shut me up.

  Maren wiped at a trickle of tears. “I know cows are naturally curious, but I think you’re giving them a little more credit than they’re due. When they first got out, we found a spot in the fence where they could have slipped through, remember? I showed you how to fix it.”

  “To which I owe you a huge debt of gratitude.”

  Holding her head high, her eyes sparkled devilishly. “Keep your gratitude. You owe me a favor.”

  “Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten that I owe you a
bout a billion favors by now. I’m serious about them escaping. The cows got out again last night and I found the gate wide open.”

  “The cows were out?”

  “Yep. Found them right after dinner.”

  Maren cocked her head and squinted at me. “And you didn’t have to call for help to get them back in?”

  I exaggeratedly puffed up my chest, making her giggle behind her hands. “Nope. I managed all on my own.”

  “Huh.”

  “Huh, what?”

  “Huh, as in, maybe there is some hope for you yet.”

  I bumped my shoulder lightly against hers. “That I won’t be the world’s worst farmer in all of written history? That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  Maren shoved my arm in return. “You know what I mean. In only six weeks, you’ve come a long way from being a wide-eyed, quivering city boy who couldn’t tell the front end of a cow from the rear.”

  “I’ll have you know it’s only been five weeks.”

  Maren clapped her hand over her mouth in fake surprise. “Oh, my. Well, in that case, it’s an outright miracle!”

  “Well, yeah. Give me credit where it’s due.” My muscles were getting tired of squatting, so I sat down on the ground where I could still see the cows while I stretched my legs.“I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but I’m starting to see the appeal.”

  “Of what?”

  “This.” I waved my hands around the Grange’s farm. “I don’t love the annoying stuff like the biting flies or the weeds or the mud, but the good seems to be outweighing the bad.”

  “Nobody who’s ever had to trudge through the mud on a farm loves it, but yeah, there’s a lot I can put up with if it means I get a little bit of peace and quiet.”

  I nodded, and I could sense Maren’s eyes on me. She was thinking something, but instead of spitting it out, she sighed and settled onto the ground next to me.

  I wanted to pry, but I knew better than most not to force a conversation that wasn’t ready, so I changed the subject. “What are you doing over here anyway?”

  “Funny you should ask. I came to see if I could redeem one of the favors you owe me.”

  “You? The legendary homesteader, Maren, needs my lowly assistance?”

  She rolled her eyes. “It may surprise you to know that I only have two hands and sometimes need four. I’d have asked Granny, but she’s off playing bridge with her group of friends.”

  “She plays bridge?” I chuckled. “I never thought of her as someone to do something so quintessential.”

  “Okay, when I say bridge, I mean they probably got out a deck of cards and are sitting around a table, but instead of playing, they’re most likely gossiping and stuffing their faces with sugary foods they shouldn’t be eating.”

  “Sounds like my kind of card game.” I grinned and she matched it. “I’d be happy to help. What are you needing?”

  “Finishing up a new chicken coop. It’s going to be a luxury, predatory-proof suite.”

  “Sounds swanky.”

  “It is, but it also means I have to hang hardware cloth over the whole thing. I’ve gotten the walls done, but the ceiling is giving me trouble.”

  “I hear you.” I cleared my throat and did my best valley girl impersonation. “Gravity is so annoying.”

  “Says the man who brought the porch swing down with him.”

  I groaned. “Don’t remind me. I promise I’m way cooler than that made me look.”

  “I think it’s good for everyone to be embarrassed once in a while. Keeps us humble, right?” Maren straightened her legs and put one ankle over the other. She was wearing a pair of frayed work jeans, but it didn’t hide that she had great legs. It was practically impossible not to appreciate them when they were stretched out next to me.

  “I suppose a little humility is tolerable. I keep putting off fixing that. I probably should before they come back, huh?”

  “Tell you what. If you lend me a hand with my chicken coop, I’ll help you hide the evidence of your porch swing fiasco and we’ll call everything even.”

  I glanced at Maren, catching her eyes for a moment. She unconsciously bit her lower lip, drawing my attention to her mouth.

  She was making it entirely too difficult to keep my resolve to stay single.

  I swallowed, pushing back those thoughts and held out my hand to shake on it. The moment her hand clasped mine, another thrilling zip circulated through me, threatening to knock the wind out of me the way falling from the porch swing had. “That sounds like a deal.”

  “Great. You want to get started now, or are you too invested in exposing the cows for the escape artists that they are?”

  “Give me ten minutes. If they don’t do anything, I’ll call off my investigation for today.”

  “Alright. I’ll humor you.”

  The two of us sat side by side, not feeling the need to say much of anything. Maren reached for a nearby dandelion and plucked off every yellow petal until it was bald while I watched her with amusement. The cows could have opened the gate and stampeded past and I don’t think I would have cared.

  Ten minutes later, Maren climbed slowly to her feet. “Alright. I’m calling time because my rear end is officially numb. Ready?”

  I was ready to give up too until the same cow who’d been investigating the gate earlier rammed her forehead against it.

  “Wait.” I hissed as I reached for Maren’s hand. “I think that’s the one.”

  “And I still think you’re nuts.” She crouched down next to me and leaned in to whisper, “Cows aren’t known to be the smartest critters on the farm.”

  “Maybe, but what are you going to give me if I’m right?”

  Maren’s smug look was so cute I wanted to give up my self-proclaimed bachelorhood right then. “My undying admiration for you.”

  “I don’t have that already?”

  Maren knocked into me with her shoulder as I laughed. Getting her flustered was more fun than I remembered. As we watched the herd, the cow by the gate stuck out her long purple tongue and grabbed at the chain. With a couple skillful yanks, she managed to unlatch the gate and headbutted it wide open. Leading the herd, she was the first to trot onto the lawn and greedily rip at the tender grass.

  I helped Maren to her feet, ready to run after the herd before they went too far, but I felt Maren’s fingers intertwined with mine and it stopped me dead in my tracks. Pressing her hand against my chest, I wondered if she could feel it hammering under her fingertips.

  “Guess this means I have your undying admiration, huh?”

  She looked up at me through her dark lashes with a shy smile. “As if there was ever a doubt you already had it.”

  5

  Knots formed in both of my shoulders from walking so stiffly. I tried to discreetly loosen the tenseness, but it was the kind of tangle that wasn’t going to be released without a serious massage. I bet Nick gave great massages. I’d noticed when he’d arrived, he had the kind of soft, baby’s butt hands that didn’t have calluses from anything more than working out at the gym, but half a summer at the Grange’s and his hands looked strong and manly, just the way I liked. Five minutes with them on my shoulders and I was sure I’d be sighing in relaxation. Mentally slapping myself, I stopped my imagination before it went any further. As many memories as I had with him, the reality was we barely knew each other now.

  Not that I didn’t think that could change.

  Not that I didn’t want that to change.

  Granny would laugh in my face for being right, but who cared? I was on the verge of tumbling head-over-heels for Nick. How I could be both petrified yet yearning for it so badly it hurt was thrilling.

  Nick whistled as we stepped into my pole barn. “Did you and Granny build this?”

  “Nah. It’s over a hundred years old, but I have been working hard to give it a facelift.”

  “Aren’t rustic barn weddings all the rage right now? You should rent out the place.”


  I laughed. “See all the barn swallow nests up there?”

  “Those globs of mud and feathers?”

  “Yeah. Now look underneath.”

  “Oh. Is that…?”

  “That’s a pile of bird droppings. Imagine a bride standing across from her handsome groom while the barn swallows did their business.”

  “There are definitely some brides who’d deserve it.”

  “Wow.” I chuckled. “That’s harsh.”

  I didn’t miss the miniscule flinch in Nick’s expression. That tiny twinge turned my curiosity into a figurative flea-ridden itch I had to scratch, but before I could drown him with a tidal wave of questions, Nick wheeled the conversation back around.

  “So,” Nick clapped his hands, “where is your fancy chicken coop going to be?”

  I pointed. “Down here. Last stall on the left.”

  “Where it looks like a home improvement store has exploded?”

  I shoved Nick, laughing again. “Shut up.”

  Not watching where I was going, I bumped into a stack of paint cans, knocking them into the aisle and barely avoiding smashing my own toes. I could feel a burning blush rising up my face at my clumsiness.

  Nick was faster than I was and he put them back against the wall, rapping his knuckles on the top can. “Are you painting the coop, too?”

  “I was thinking of putting a mural of a giant mother hen on one wall and maybe motivational quotes on the other, so they can read them while laying eggs.”

  “Serious?”

  “Do you think if I put in a tiny foot soak for them it would be too much?” The bewildered look on Nick’s face was priceless and I couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. “I’m kidding, Nick. I love my flock, but if I don’t get to go to spas, then neither do they.”

  “Then what’s with the paint?”

  “To freshen up the fence out front. The sad thing is I bought it months ago but I can’t bring myself to get around to it. There’s always something more important to do and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s painting fences.”