by Ellie Hall
Nick nodded like he understood. “I don’t think it is. It’s sort of ironic though.”
“What is?”
Nick sighed. “I came out here to do the exact opposite. This summer was an escape from life. Especially relationships.”
“How’s that going for you?” I laughed pathetically. “Other than me, you probably haven’t seen another available woman within twenty miles.”
Nick ran his fingers through my hair, then feathered them down my jawline. I was too surprised to even think. I kept perfectly motionless so I wouldn’t ruin the moment.
“It’s going pretty well, actually. What I didn’t realize when I came out here was that I’d find what I’ve been looking for all along.”
If Nick had plans to kiss me, I beat him to it by crashing my own lips onto his. It was an act of desperation I’d been wanting to do since I first laid eyes on grown-up Nick, wondering if the spark between us was in my head. Judging by the way his arms wrapped around my waist and how eagerly he was returning my embrace, it wasn’t a spark. It was an explosion.
How something that I wanted so much could simultaneously scare me made no sense. But I’d gone for it anyway. Call it facing my fears. Or indulging myself. Whatever it was, I liked it.
When I couldn’t catch my breath and I was in very real danger of an epic case of beard rash, I drew back, staring like a deer in the headlights at Nick. I was dizzy from our passionate kiss, and I clenched his shirt to keep from tipping over.
“I’m sorry,” I squeaked.
Nick rested his hand on the back of my neck and it sent a shiver rattling down my spine. “For what?”
“For ruining your break.”
A rumbling chuckle came from his throat. “Maren, that kiss…wow. It’s made me forget I ever had another one.”
Running my hands up his back, I drew myself closer and smiled wickedly at him. “Alright then. I won’t be sorry one little bit if I make you fall so hard for me that you never recover.”
8
The farmer’s market was busier than I had anticipated. First thing on Saturday morning, I was bumping shoulders with every other shopper in a rush to get their produce. Maren had told me her stall was between the goat cheese and the organic honey, but I had walked the farmer’s market maze and hadn’t had any luck.
She and Granny had gotten there hours earlier to set up while I had stayed back to do the morning chores on the Grange’s farm and take care of the animals at Maren’s so she wouldn’t have to get up even earlier to do it. My help might have only been the gift of an extra twenty minutes of sleep, but it was something. I wasn’t going to lie, I secretly hoped to be rewarded for my help. Nothing much. Just a kiss.
Or an entire evening of them.
It’d been a week since she surprised me with a kiss that had rocked my world. I’d had some good ones in the past, but Maren poured her whole soul into it. Every other kiss had paled in comparison.
Standing on my toes, I finally spotted Maren and Granny’s banner floating above their tent a couple booths away. Catching a glimpse of Maren, I wanted to part the crowd like the Red Sea so I could run to her.
“Nick? Nick! I can’t believe it!”
I spun around and was nearly bowled over. Brittney wrapped her arms around me and my heart came to a screeching halt. I’d never been squeezed by an anaconda, but I imagined a hug from an ex-fiancée was pretty close.
“Brittney?”
She beamed at me with a megawatt smile. Her approval used to make me feel like I was something special, but now, all I wanted to do was get away.
“I knew you’d be surprised to see me. I almost didn’t recognize you when you walked past.” Brittney pushed her blonde hair behind her shoulder as she appraised me. “Life in the country has done you good.”
My face was tight, making it hard to answer, let alone fake a smile. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
“I started coming after we…well, you know.”
“When we broke up?”
“Right. Yeah. It was something I’d been meaning to try since I was starting a new chapter in my life. Now, I can hardly live without getting a strawberry watermelon smoothie every weekend.”
I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I would have been able to slip past Brittney unnoticed. I’d be with Maren now, sneaking kisses between helping where she needed an extra set of hands.
“This is so serendipitous.” Brittney wiggled her fists with excitement. “When Clint mentioned you were going to be in town this weekend, I knew this was the perfect opportunity to reconcile.”
If Clint were there, he would have been at the receiving end of a glare that could cut granite. “This is all Clint’s doing, huh?”
“He wants to see you happy.” Brittney ran her French tip nails up and down my arm, settling her fingers between mine. Every day for the past week, I’d been holding Maren’s hand as we rocked on her porch at the end of the day and her calluses had become comfortable and her coarse skin was a representation of her strength. Brittney’s softness was so delicate, it felt foreign. “I want to see you happy.”
“Nick?”
No, no, no.
My stomach sank down to my toes so fast I was sure it landed with a thud. I turned around to find Maren staring at my hand, still interlocked with Brittney’s. I tried shaking Brittney off, but she stuck with me like we’d been fused together. I jerked harder and I was finally able to escape. Not that it mattered. The damage had already been done.
“Maren. Hi.” I tried to smile, but it had to look like a monstrous grimace. “I was on my way to see you.”
Her eyes were glued to my hand. Beneath the smattering of freckles that ran across her cheeks, she’d gone ghost-white. “It looks like you got caught up in other…affairs.”
“Nick?” Brittney fluffed her curls. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
My mouth gaped open and shut like a sunfish on the end of a hook. “I, uh…this is…”
“I’m Maren. Nick’s neighbor.” Maren held out her hand to Brittney, who put the tips of her fingers in Maren’s grip and daintily shook.
“Temporarily.” Brittney leaned against me and rubbed my arm, stopping to squeeze my bicep. “I have it on good authority that he’s accepted a position at a prestigious accounting firm. His personal crisis is coming to an end, which means he’ll be back in town soon. That means we’ll finally be together.”
Maren’s mouth twitched. “That must make you Brittney.”
“That’s right. Nick’s fiancée.”
“Ex,” I corrected.
Brittney barely batted an eyelash at my comment. “I don’t recall ever agreeing on anything so final.”
“Brittney,” I said in a low voice, “we already discussed this.”
My plea fell on Brittney’s deaf ears. “I don’t mean to be rude, but could you give us a minute Maren? I was about to have a private conversation with Nick.”
My blood pressure ticked higher. I knew what was coming.
“Of course. Excuse me.” Maren hitched a thumb over her shoulder. “I’ve got to get back. Brittney, nice to meet you. Nick, congratulations. You were absolutely right.”
Her look chilled me to the core. “About what?”
“One trip back to the city and you’re engaged again.”
Maren excused herself and slipped away, tearing my heart away with her.
“She is so cute.” Brittney stepped next to me and linked her arm through mine, but I pulled away. Why couldn’t she take a hint? “The epitome of quaint. I mean, a straw hat and a farmer’s tan? I thought everybody had heard about spray tanning by now, but apparently not.”
The man I used to be would have laughed with Brittney, but I couldn’t allow it. I wouldn’t. Maren might appear rough around the edges, but to those who took the time to see her, they knew they were fortunate to know her.
“Where were we?” Brittney hadn’t given her comments a second thought.
“This is wh
ere I’m about to tell you off.”
Brittney blinked. “What?”
“I’m sure you were thinking that we were going to have a mushy, teary-eyed apology over some non-fat, chia seed smoothies or whatever, but I’m going to have to squash your plans right now and tell you, that’s not going to happen.”
“Nick, I’m not understanding. It sounds like you don’t want to get back together with me.”
Turning my face to the cloudless sky, I sighed. “That is exactly what I’m saying.”
Brittney giggled and patted my chest. “I think you’ve been living in solitary confinement too long.”
“I haven’t been living without human contact. Maren’s been keeping me sane.”
“Please,” Brittney’s eyelashes fluttered as she rolled her eyes, “don’t tell me you’re so cliche that you fell for the country bumpkin while having a midlife crisis. That’d be cliche and cliche is so last year.”
Neither Maren nor I had said it out loud but my heart was ramming against my ribcage and I knew what I was about to tell Brittney was the truth. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. I’ve fallen for Maren. Hard.”
“No, you haven’t. You’re just in shock from our break up.”
“I know that would be easier for you to accept, but what I feel for Maren isn’t a rash decision. Maren has always been someone special and now I’m wise enough to appreciate.”
Brittney balled up her fists by her sides and trembled like a rabid poodle. “You are seriously telling me you would rather be with a woman who wears men’s boots and looks like she barely brushes her hair than me? You’re going to pass up your very last shot with me for…for…” Brittney stomped her enormous wedge-heeled sandal and pointed in the direction Maren had left. “For that?”
“Yeah. To you, she might not seem like much, but I love her.”
“Why?”
I scrubbed my hand across my face, trying to put into words exactly what I felt, but there was no way I could sum up Maren with something as inadequate as words. Still, I tried. “Maren is a conundrum. She’s hardworking and sensitive and astute. She can face down an angry cow with only a smile and a scoop of sweet feed and win. When I’m around her, I want to be the best version of myself even if that sometimes requires that I take a hard look at where I’m failing. She’s—”
Brittney held her hand up in my face. “Thank you for the devoted monologue, but I think I’m going to hurl if I have to listen to another second of this.”
“Brittney, I’m not telling you any of this to make you feel bad. You’re an incredible, successful woman, but you have to know we wouldn’t have ever been right together. Not in the long run. You’re going to find your own special someone. It’s just not me.”
Brittney whimpered and stuck out her lower lip. “This is not how I planned this morning going.”
I pulled Brittney into a quick hug. “Sorry to disappoint you, but we owe each other to be honest. Whoever you end up with is going to be one lucky man.”
Brittney sopped up the black mascara running down her cheeks. “You were my first choice though.”
“I’m flattered.” The longer I was away from Maren, the harder it was to keep my attention on Brittney. I needed to find her and make sure she knew I wasn’t the two-timing scoundrel I might have appeared to be. “Look, I wish I could stay and catch up, but I need to go.”
Brittney gave me a wobbly smile. “If things don’t work out between you two, you know my number.”
“Thanks.” I took two steps back, ready to run to Maren. “I’m hoping it won’t come to that.”
“Don’t worry. I can tell I’m not going to hear from you anytime soon.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re happier than I’ve ever seen you, even with me. You really are in love with that girl, aren’t you?”
9
I was already so bone-tired that I could have fallen asleep on my feet, but I kept myself moving. I wanted to work myself so hard that when I did finally allow my head to hit the pillow, I’d go to sleep so fast I wouldn’t give the day a second thought. There was one flaw in my plan though—I couldn’t get my memory to quit replaying the sight of Nick holding Brittney’s hand. Either asleep or awake, I was doomed to have the same nightmare.
I’d been so excited to have Nick join me at the stand so I could spend the day flirting with him while I worked. Instead, I found myself feeling the large, rusty knife of betrayal in my back. Brittney had looked so happy with him and even with the shame of being caught written all over Nick’s face, they were such a beautiful couple that it was disgusting.
I don’t know why any of it surprised me. When Nick had told me about his engagement, he was obviously distraught that they'd ended things. I must have been a nice, momentary distraction, but I knew going in that Nick’s life at the Grange’s wasn’t permanent. With all the pieces of his life falling back into place, I could hardly blame him for jumping at the chance to put it all back together again.
That made me the lone piece with nowhere to fit. Again. I’d spent way too much of my summer fantasizing about Nick, only for it to be a massive waste of my efforts.
“Maren? Are you out here?”
The screen door slammed behind Granny, squinting as she searched in the darkness.
“I’m just getting this row of potatoes weeded.” I wiped my wrist against my sweaty forehead, hoping my voice sounded carefree.
I went back to weeding, but when I heard her footfalls creaking down the porch steps, I knew she was coming to ask questions. I kept working, pretending to be so engrossed in my work that I didn’t notice her standing over me.
“What are you doing, Maren?”
“I told you. I’m weeding the potatoes. If I don’t get on top of it, they’ll swallow up the whole garden.”
Granny sighed. “You know as well as anyone that there are always weeds to pull. What I meant is why you’re out here in the pitch black trying to work yourself to death.”
“I’m not ready for bed yet.”
“Uh huh. It seems like you’re trying to keep your mind off a certain man. One with dreamy blue eyes and—”
“Nope. I’m not tired yet. That’s all.”
I felt a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me out of my frenzy. “Why are you lying to yourself?”
Sitting back on my knees, I brushed the dirt off my hands onto my jeans. “Granny, I’m fine. I promise.”
I surprised even myself that I was able to speak around the enormous lump of sadness that had settled in my esophagus.
“No, honey. You’re not. You aren’t as good at hiding your emotions as you think and all of this started when you saw Nick coming over to our booth.”
“I behaved myself perfectly well.”
“You literally climbed under the table and told me to tell Nick that you’d been asked out on a hot date and had to leave that instant.”
“What’s so weird about that?”
“You were hoping to make him jealous.”
“It’s good for men to be jealous once in a while.”
“I’m not saying it isn’t, but as much of a man that he is, Nick isn’t a complete idiot.”
I nibbled my bottom lip, willing the tears to stay put. I’d managed to keep myself from shedding any over Nick so far and in my experience, if I could keep them in place for twenty-four hours, I’d be in the clear. So far, it had been excruciating keeping my anguish locked up.
“I didn’t want any of this,” I said softly.
“Want what?”
“I didn’t want to be lassoed into love. It was unfair of him to come sweep me off my feet only to dump me in the proverbial gutter the second his sophisticated, gorgeous, confident ex with eyelashes up to her eyebrows looked his way again.”
“First off,” Granny folded her arms, “quit thinking of yourself as a victim. You were equally to blame for falling for him as he was for being charming.”
“Fine. I was a sucker.”
&n
bsp; “Glad you can admit it.”
I blew out a long breath. “But what does that get me? A bee sting to the heart is all I get to show for it?”
“Everyone who wants to love and be loved has to accept that it’s a battlefield out there. Sometimes, you end up with a tattered heart, but for those who persist past the pain, it only takes one win to put them on the right path for their own happily ever after. As for this perfect ex of his, I don’t buy it. You might not be as refined and prissy as some other girls, but you’re a treasure.”
“If I’m so special, then why am I the one who’s still single?”
There was another hurried crunch of footsteps coming up our driveway and I held my breath. When Granny clapped her hands and started giggling, I knew it was who I hoped and dreaded it would be.
Nick.
“Ooo! Ouch! I think my sciatica is acting up again.” Granny bent over and winced. She was a terrible actress. “I’m going to go lay down before I break in half. Goodnight.”
For a sore back, Granny sure moved fast. She beelined it back to the house and skipped up the stairs with an agility that made me raise my eyebrows.
Nick stood at the edge of the light glowing from the porch and for who knows how long, all we did was stare. That and smack at the mosquitoes that were out in full force. My thoughts were a torrent of a million questions and though I wanted an answer for each of them, I couldn’t get my paralyzed tongue to utter a single word.
Nick shifted on his feet. “Hi.”
He looked like a boy who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and the steel heart I swore I’d have the next time I saw Nick crumpled. It would have been easy for me to fall into his arms and cry until I had a headache, begging him to reconsider, but I did have some pride. Instead, I raised my chin at him and ignored that I had dirt smeared across my jeans. “What are you doing here?”
“I think you know.”
“If you’re going to apologize, save your breath. I know this was just a summer fling and I’m sure you’re ecstatic about Brittney wanting you back. Make sure to send me a wedding invitation so I can burn it when it arrives.”