Love, Laughter & Happily Ever After: A sweet romantic comedy collection

by Ellie Hall

  Ford may have been on the Boone side of the feud, but he wasn’t actually a Boone, though he had been practically raised with them. He’d been integrated into the Boone/Graham feud on an honorary basis. For the most part, they left us innocent bystanders alone, but I didn’t have time to deal with any feuding drama today.

  I had an important question to ask Ford. I stepped inside and was greeted with the smell of burnt coffee.

  I found Ford in the back office, talking on the phone.

  There was a stack of notebooks on his desk, loose papers covering everything, and the coffee pot sat on a folding table in the corner. I would’ve helped myself if it had smelled better. Ford held up a finger, letting me know that he would be just a moment. I waited, knowing he was a busy guy running the rock quarry as well as the cement business. We worked together fairly often.

  Sometimes I needed a load of gravel if I was doing a more in-depth fencing job.

  Right now, I wasn’t here for work purposes.

  I was here to ask a friend for advice.

  Ford might not have moved to Boones-Dock until he was eighteen, but that meant that we’d become friends over my summer breaks during college. Ford had lived a lot of life in his short time and had quickly become one of my best friends. And now I needed his advice.

  He had offered me good advice on other things in the past, but I never asked him about relationship advice. It wasn’t like I’d ever been one to require any advice, but Ford had a way with women—and not in a playboy way. Ford had the ability to make women relax in his presence and feel understood. I was hoping some of his experience and know-how could transfer over to me this afternoon. Finally, he hung up the phone and looked at me.

  “How are you, Jude?” Ford asked, even though he was the one who looked frazzled.

  “Rough day in paradise?” I asked.

  “You have no idea,” he replied. “All I want is just one good secretary.”

  “We don’t call them secretaries anymore, Ford. Are you from the 18th century? Maybe that’s why you haven’t found one.”

  “Shut up. What do you want?”

  “Oh please…like every time I come to see you, I want something…” I guffawed.

  “Last time, you wanted to borrow my dump truck,” he pointed out.

  “Ok, well that was a one-off,” I replied. “But I guess I am here today because I need your help.”

  “Does this have anything to do with the rumors that I’ve heard that you and Ruby are back together?”

  “Sometimes this town is annoyingly small,” I replied.

  “Well, I was surprised she took you back.”

  I grimaced. “That seems to be the problem.”

  Ford leaned back in his office chair and kicked his feet up on the messy desk. He folded his hands behind his head and said, “So she wouldn’t have you, huh?”

  “Well, I tried to explain everything to her, but she didn’t seem to like that explanation. She wasn’t in a hurry to give us a try again.”

  “Oh, gee, I wonder why,” Ford chuckled.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

  Ford shook his head. “You’re not very quick, are you?”

  I was sort of hating myself for having told him about our senior college year when she kissed me and I had made a blunder of things. He didn’t necessarily let me live it down.

  “She put herself out there for you, Jude.”

  “I know,” I groaned.

  “You didn’t exactly handle yourself well. Can you blame her for not wanting to stick her neck out for you again? You shot her down, embarrassed the poor girl, and now you’re acting like nothing happened. Did you expect her to run back into your arms again? You’re going to have to do the legwork on this one, buddy. She’s done enough. She’s going to be a little gun shy about trying to start anything with you again. She thought you were waiting for her.”

  “I was!”

  “You told her you had a girlfriend.”

  “Because I thought she had a boyfriend!”

  “That’ll teach you to fake something.”

  “True that. I don’t know what I was thinking—other than I wasn’t. Turns out, that picture she posted on social media was of her and a cousin that I didn’t know she had.”

  “People do have those, you know,” Ford answered as he leaned back and folded his hands behind his head.

  “I’m not sure why I came to you.”

  “Because I offer fantastic advice.” Ford grinned. “And if you want to win back Ruby, you need to be the one to make the move. You can’t expect her to be the one to make the first move this time, buddy. She’s already tried and been shut down. So, now it’s time for you to stick your neck out. Don’t just give her an explanation. Show her that you’re serious about it.”

  I opened my mouth then closed it.

  “Oh, I see. You already explained it to her, and she’s still mad.”

  I scratched at an imaginary itch on the back of my head. “Well, yeah.”

  “Let me guess. You explained your side of the story then sat there and waited for her to jump on your lap and tell you all is forgiven.”

  I cleared my throat. “I guess. Sort of. Yes?”

  Ford shook his head and cast his eyes toward the ceiling as though he were imploring for Almighty intervention. “Jude. Let me put this in simple terms. You need to be the one to make a move. Ask her out. Kiss her. I don’t care. But don’t make her do it.”

  “So, you’re saying, instead of giving her space, I should make a move?”

  “He’s starting to get the hang of things,” Ford announced to nobody.

  “We’re building a fence at 6 o’clock in the morning tomorrow together. Think I should say something then?”

  “Because nothing says romance like building a fence together.” Ford rolled his eyes.

  “You don’t know Ruby that well,” I reminded him. “She thrives on those kinds of projects. You should’ve seen her when we were chasing that stupid llama.”

  “How did that ever turn out? Did you end up keeping it?”

  “Well, I can’t seem to find another home for it yet,” I replied.

  “There’s an auction coming up soon,” Ford told me. “Might as well take it there. Some sucker might want a llama.”

  “Do I have to put a warning label on this thing to sell it?”

  “Nope. That’s the beauty of an auction. People buy all sorts of things without knowing what’s wrong with them.” Ford grinned. “In fact, I know a few people who deserve that llama.”

  “You’re a cruel man,” I told him.

  “Well, do you want my help finding a new home for the llama or not?”

  “I definitely want your help. I can’t stand this thing. It stands there and stares at me when I’m in the living room. I have to close my blinds; I feel like I live in a fishbowl. And the way it chases me whenever I try to fill its water bucket… I’m in the best shape of my life, thanks to that thing.”

  “Sounds like that llama is the only action you can get,” Ford chuckled. The phone rang, interrupting our conversation. “Sorry, man, I’ve got to get this. I really need to hire that sec—er, executive assistant as soon as possible.”

  With that, he answered the phone, and I left the office, intent on planning a full-frontal attack for Operation Jude and Ruby.

  9

  Ruby

  At 6 o’clock the next morning, I was standing in Lillian Barker’s front yard, waiting for Jude. I had the box of donuts I promised him, and they were even still warm.

  Although, I didn’t know why I was bringing donuts. He was the one getting paid for this. I was just here as a consultant. Anything to keep Dean from house shopping for me. I was technically free labor. And yet, I brought the donuts. Jude should have been paying me in donuts.

  Well, if Jude was going to be late, I was going to eat the best ones. I sat down on the front steps of the porch and took the top off the box. I found a cream-filled donut and procee
ded to eat the whole thing while I waited on him.

  He pulled in at 6:02. How dare he be late.

  I finished the Bismarck and moved on to the maple bar with purple sprinkles on it. Jude climbed out of his truck and walked up the narrow sidewalk, stopping when his boots were planted on top of a large mossy crack.

  I took another bite of donut and sent up a quick prayer for his mother’s back.

  “Sorry I’m late,” he apologized. “I had to try and refill the llama’s water before I came over here. Wasn’t easy.”

  I smiled a little bit at that as I imagined the llama chasing him around the yard—maybe for a few laps, even. I chuckled. That was an image worth keeping.

  “You got a little something-something right here.” Jude motioned to the corner of his mouth. But instead of giving me a chance to clear off the frosting or sprinkles—whatever it may be—he leaned forward and slid his large thumb across my mouth, cleaning it off. His thumb paused on my lower lip.

  “Ah fink ya got it,” I tried to say without biting his thumb.

  “All better,” he said with a smirk. He smiled and looked at me like a shark circling its prey. I wondered if there really had been anything on my face.

  My cheeks warmed as I realized he was looking for an excuse to touch me.

  “Jude, quit looking at me like that.”

  “What? What’s wrong with the way I’m looking at you? Is it my fault you had donut on your face?”

  “Yes. Yes, it is your fault that I have donut on my face. I was waiting for you. What else was I supposed to do?”

  “There are all sorts of options. You couldn’t have been counting down the minutes till my arrival?”

  “I’ve done better things in my life.”

  “But have you really?” he asked and leaned forward to root around in the donut box to find the perfect one in it. I had already eaten the perfect one. He settled for a maple bar.

  “You ate the one Bismarck, didn’t you?” he demanded.

  “I had planned on sharing it with you if you’d been here on time.”

  “It was two minutes!” He shoved half the donut in his mouth and snatched another one out of the box, dodging my slapping hand.

  “Well, are we going to get this fence built?”

  “I brought as many supplies as I could, but depending on how big of an area we need to fence, I might need to run back to my place and grab some other stuff.”

  “Honestly, I don’t even know what Dean is wanting us to do,” I admitted. “He promised the new buyers a dog run. And that means so many things to so many people. Do they have a Chihuahua? A shih tzu? A border collie? A Great Dane? I mean, all the different types of fences you could possibly use for a dog fence leave this a little open-ended.”

  Jude brushed his hands together, knocking the donut crumbs from his fingers as he finished the last bite. “Well, as long as Dean is footing the bill, I don’t mind building the same kind of dog fence that I have around my place. And I also don’t mind charging him a rush fee. Someone’s got to teach that guy to stop overpromising.”

  I shrugged. “I know. It’s really unfortunate he has trouble stretching the truth. I really do think he means well. It’s the lack of foresight that kills me.”

  “And he usually has other people fulfill his promises.” Jude gestured to the truck loaded with fencing materials.

  “Oh no, I just realized that we’re probably going to be mixing cement this morning, aren’t we?”

  The small portable cement mixer attached to the back of his truck seemed to shine in the morning light—if a cement-encrusted, yellow-paint-chipped mixer could shine.

  Jude grinned. “I know how much you love mixing cement. I thought I’d leave that to you.” He smiled and grabbed another donut out of the box. “Thanks for bringing these, by the way.”

  “You know how I love my donuts in the morning. For a midlife crisis, I’m going to open a donut shop and eat my way through every type of donut. I’ll be 500 pounds and perfectly happy.”

  “I’m glad to know that your aspirations in life are high.”

  I tried not to smile at his cheesy joke, but it was really hard not to.

  “Well, should we get started?” he asked. “Sounds like Dean’s buyers are going to be here today, ready or not.”

  “Let’s do this,” I said as I put the lid back on the donut box and left them on the porch. Jude reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling me up from my perch on the porch. He didn’t let go. Instead, he stood there, grinning at me.

  It was a suspicious grin. Almost a little constipated.

  “Quit looking at me like that,” I snapped at him. His grin just got weirder. He hadn’t stepped back, meaning we stood nearly chest to chest. We weren’t touching, but the heat radiating off his body made me feel like we were.

  “Looking at you like what?” he said in a singsong voice.

  “Oh no,” I said. “How many cups of coffee have you had today?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said in a voice that was anything but innocent.

  Some people couldn’t handle their alcohol. Jude couldn’t handle his caffeine. And he usually drank caffeine when he had something big coming up. Something important. Something that required all of his brain faculties. And nearly every time, he would revert back to high caffeine consumption that would result in his brain operating too quickly. It was a vicious circle. He really needed someone to restrain him.

  “Come on, let’s get to work.”

  He booped my nose.

  Booped it.

  He was positively gleeful.

  “You know I hate it when people touch my nose,” I ground out. He didn’t even have the self-preservation to step back. He kept grinning.

  “I know.”

  “Then why’d you do it?”

  “Because I like getting a rise out of you.”

  “Good grief, you need a keeper. Someone who makes sure you can’t get your hands on caffeine.”

  “The position is available.”

  “Lillian Barker might have time since she’s moving to a smaller place…” I suggested.

  “The only person allowed to be my keeper is named Ruby.”

  I planted a hand on his firm chest and pushed.

  “Let’s get to work before all that hot air makes you float away.”

  Unfortunately, I was the one who ended up mixing cement while Jude dug the post holes. As we worked together, setting the posts, I realized he’d somehow turned fence building into a full-body contact event—his shoulder constantly brushing against mine, reaching around me with both arms to help lower a post into the ground, brushing cement dust out of my hair and off my clothes. I hadn’t realized so much dust could end up on my butt. It was making it difficult to focus on the task in front of me.

  Lillian Barker showed up part way through the morning, there to pack up the last of her personal belongings. We paused in our post leveling and chatted with her for a few minutes. She seemed shocked with herself that she had agreed to move.

  “I’ve been in this house for thirty years…” she commented wistfully as she stared at the house. “It’s not easy to say goodbye. But I’m not too old to change, as Dean says. And it will be nice to be close to some noise. It will keep me young.”

  Jude and I nodded and hummed in agreement—not sure what to tell her.

  “Now, I’ll be inside packing up the last of my china, so you two better not get into trouble while I’m here. I’ll be watching you two.” She winked and turned to go inside, her floral dress swirling in the wind.

  Jude waited until she was out of hearing distance before he spoke. “Why do I feel like she’s going to call my parents if I get fresh with you?”

  “Because she’s done it to you before?”

  “Hmm, great point.”

  There had been a time when Jude and I had been caught making out in his first car. I was fifteen; he was sixteen. We’d fogged those windows like professionals, and unfor
tunately, Lillian Barker was the one who discovered us. Honestly, I always thought she was more upset that we were parked in a no-parking zone than she was about our car activities.

  He took an exaggerated sidestep closer to me, making our arms touch. “Do you think this counts as being fresh?”

  Warming to the game, I pressed the back of my filthy hand against his. “I don’t know, would you?”

  “Lillian might think this is a little fresh.” He lifted his arm and draped it around my shoulders.

  “Hmm, maybe not quite. Even Pastor Carson hugs people like that.”

  Jude chuckled. “True. How about this?”

  He spun me to face him and crushed me against his chest in a big bear hug.

  “Your mom hugs me this way every time she sees me,” I told him with a muffled voice against his plaid shirt. Boy, did he smell good. I smelled like three-day-old sweat after mixing concrete, and he smelled like a walking cologne ad. It wasn’t fair.

  “My mom’s hoping if she hugs you long and hard enough, you’ll automatically become part of the family.”

  “I still wouldn’t call it fresh…”

  “In that case…”

  He loosened his hold slightly and dropped his hands to my lower back then slowly slid them down until they were only half on my back—he had large hands—and half on my derriere.

  “Jude, what are you doing?” I asked him, our game suddenly feeling very, very real. And the fact that I wasn’t mad at him anymore made me want to stay exactly how we were.

  He grinned. “Do you want me to stop?”

  Did I? Did I want to push Jude away over an immature misunderstanding? I’d had my time to be mad. And I’d had my time to decide if I wanted to move on.

  I didn’t.

  I wanted Jude. I wanted Jude and Ruby together. That was what I wanted.

  “I don’t want you to stop. But I want to know why you’re doing it.”

  “I’m doing what I should’ve done the first day I came back to Boones-Dock and found you here,” he replied. “I’m making the first move. I want you. You’ve always been the one for me. And I don’t want you to ever doubt that. So, I am making a move—even if I have to use Lillian Barker as an excuse—because I want you to know that I want to pursue you the way you deserve. I want you to know how special you are in my life. I want you to know that you are worth following and pursuing relentlessly.”