Home Is Where You Are

by Melissa Grace

  Ella had been a rockstar. She’d managed to terrify several of the paparazzi staking out the store. They’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of me so they could undoubtedly sell my photos to some website that would run them alongside a piece about Olivia Sinclair, the barren gold-digger bitch.

  Then there was Mama. Ever since Jax left, she’d been my constant companion. She wove between my feet and no longer hissed at me. She’d taken to sleeping in the bed with me at night, curling up on one of Jax’s shirts. I knew she missed him too.

  I’d barely cooked the entire two weeks, opting instead for takeout or to not eat at all. Every time I went into that kitchen, all I could see was Jax dancing around the room or pulling me into his arms. Instead, I spent my time on the couch mindlessly watching Netflix, letting shows I couldn’t tell you anything about play episode after episode while I stared off into nothingness.

  I was staring at the television when Ella appeared before me that afternoon, turning the television off. She set a paper grocery sack on the coffee table.

  “Hey, babe.” She sat beside me and squeezed my arm.

  “Hey,” I mumbled. “Where’s Grace?”

  “She’s at home. It’s just me today,” she said. “Listen, I want you to get up, and go take a shower. I’m going to make us some chamomile tea, and I brought some food. Don’t worry. I didn’t make it, so we won’t be subjected to food poisoning.”

  I forced a smile.

  “Come on.” She patted my leg. “Go take a nice hot shower, and I’ll have everything waiting for you in the kitchen.”

  Reluctantly, I did as she asked. I stood under the steady stream of the showerhead for several moments, soaking in the warmth. After I was done, I had to admit the simple act of just washing my hair and putting on a cozy sweater did make me feel better.

  I walked into the kitchen, and Ella had a bowl of soup and some hot tea waiting for me.

  “Well, look at you,” Ella said. “You look almost human again. By the way, that tea is hot as the sun, so don’t even try to drink it yet.”

  I sat at the table and ate a spoonful of the soup. “This tastes exactly like your mom’s potato soup.”

  She gave me a sad smile. “That’s because it is. Mom hasn’t cooked in ages, not since her disease progressed, so I asked Katie if she would make it for me.”

  I reached over and squeezed her hand. We ate in comfortable silence, and by the time we were finished, the tea had reached the perfect temperature.

  “Let’s take the tea to the couch,” Ella said, getting up and rinsing out the dishes, placing them in the dishwasher.

  We finally settled on the sofa under Mama’s watchful gaze. “Talk to me, Liv.” Ella furrowed her brow.

  I looked down at the mug in my hands. “I miss him so much.” A lump formed in my throat, and tears burned behind my eyes. “I love him, Ella.”

  “I know you do, honey,” she said softly. “I know. God, I haven’t seen two people look at each other the way you two did since me and Craig.” She gave me a wistful smile.

  “What would you have done if you were me? Do you think I made a mistake?”

  She pressed her lips together. “I believe you did what you thought was right, but at what point do you stop doing what you think is best for everyone else and start doing what’s best for you?”

  “If I’d stayed with Jax, I could have ruined his entire career.” I sighed. “I couldn’t let him do that.”

  “Don’t you think that should have been his choice?” Ella asked. She took my mug from my hands and placed it on the coffee table along with her own, taking my hands in hers. “Liv, I can’t tell you if you made a mistake. I can’t tell you if this would have ruined anyone’s career or that Jax wouldn’t have wanted biological children of his own one day. I can’t tell you what would happen to the bakery. All I can tell you is what I know for sure. And what I know for sure is that Jax loves you. He would probably give everything up to make you happy, but I also know you love him too much to ever let him. And no matter what happens with the business, we’re going to be okay. We’ll figure it out. I want you to be happy. If you really think that means letting Jax go, I’ll support you. You know I will.”

  “But you think it’s the wrong decision.” I rested my head on hers.

  “I think you found the love of a lifetime,” she said gently. “Love like that is so rare, Liv. I’d set the whole world on fire to get Craig back. I think sometimes you have to say fuck it all, and do what your heart wants. I know you’re trying to save him some heartache and hardship, but I think you’re trying to save yourself too. I think you’re scared. I know you don’t want to live in his shadow, and I know what the internet has said is less than flattering. But Liv, they don’t know you. They don’t know the truth, nor does that sleazeball Benton Wyatt. They don’t know that Jaxon Slade pulled you out of the shadows or that you were more yourself with him than you ever were with Benton. They don’t know what I’ve always known and that’s how fucking special you are. With or without Jax, or anyone else for that matter, you are a remarkable woman. Jax may have helped bring you out of the shadows, but you’ve always been the light, Liv. You’ve always been my light.”

  “I feel like every bit of light I had left has gone out,” I whispered.

  “Absolutely not,” she said firmly, sitting up to look at me. “Your light has never been dependent on anyone but you. It’s still there.”

  I sucked in a deep breath. “What do I do, Ella?”

  “I wish I could tell you which path to take.” She sighed. “I wish I could tell you the exact right choices to make, but the road to happiness is a bumpy one. Sometimes you have to hit a few potholes and take a few wrong turns to get to happiness. Sometimes you’re cruising along happy as can be, and out of nowhere, everything goes up in flames. But those moments of happiness are worth the pain. They’re worth every bit of it. So, what do I think you should do? I think you have to figure out what happiness means to you, and you have to unapologetically do that. In the words of the great philosopher, Dolly Parton, ‘Find out who you are and do it on purpose.’ I think you get to be a little selfish, Liv. That’s what I think. I also think if I ever see Benton Wyatt again, I will kill him with my bare hands.”

  “If it hadn’t been him, it would have been someone else. It was only a matter of time.” I shook my head.

  “Well, it wasn’t someone else, it was him. I hope all of his hair falls out and he winds up in an erectile dysfunction commercial.”

  I snorted. “I can’t say that wouldn’t bring me some joy right now.”

  A soft smile played across her lips. “I love you, babe. I want you to be happy.”

  “I love you too.”

  “Just think about this, okay?” She pulled me into a hug. “Think about what it is you want.”

  I nodded, and we settled on the couch together, finishing our tea. When she left, I locked the door behind her and trudged back to the couch.

  I pulled the sleeves of my sweatshirt over my hands, settling back into the couch. I grabbed the remote, clicking the button, and the next episode of a show that I did not care about started to play. Mama stretched out next to me, content to nap at my side, as I let the voices on the television lure me into a dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 34

  Jax

  I almost took out a ‘no parking’ sign as I pulled Dallas’s Mercedes to a stop outside 6th & 15th Records. The record label was housed inside an old renovated home near Music Row with a banner outside congratulating one of their artists on going platinum.

  I pushed through the front door to find a stunned receptionist gaping at me.

  “You’re Jaxon Slade.” Of course, she recognized me.

  “I need to see Benton Wyatt,” I said firmly. “It’s urgent.”

  “Mr. Slade, you have to have an appointment,” the receptionist said qu
ietly, looking terrified of me. Hell, at that moment, I was terrified of me too.

  “Please,” I pleaded. “I need to talk to Ben. We’re old friends.” The lie dripped right off my tongue. She narrowed her eyes as though trying to decide if she believed me. Maybe it was the fact that I looked like I’d lost my best friend, but she bought it hook, line, and sinker.

  She pointed to a door toward the center of the building. “Go through there. It’s the last door on the right.”

  “Thank you.” I sprinted through the first door and came to a stop in front of his office. His name was engraved in the frosted glass along with the 6th & 15th logo. I could hear him talking on the other side, but from the pauses he took, I gathered he was on the phone. I stormed through the door, and Benton’s mouth fell open.

  “Chris, I’m going to have to call you back,” he said before slamming down the phone. “How did you get back here?”

  “What? I thought you wanted to meet with me, Benton?” I feigned shock. “Isn’t that why you called that meeting with the band on New Year’s Eve?”

  Benton shook his head as he maneuvered to the other side of his desk. He leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest. “What do you want, Jaxon?”

  “To give you this.” I strode over to him and threw my fist at his face, connecting with his nose.

  “Shit!” Benton covered his face with his hands. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “You fucking asshole!”

  “What the hell is your problem?” He pulled his hands away to reveal the blood trickling down his face. He wiped at it with the back of his hand, managing to get some on the sleeve of his pristine white shirt. “I ought to have you fucking arrested for assault!”

  “It was your fault that shit got out to the press. Are you happy now? You ruined her, and you ruined us.”

  “Jesus Christ.” Benton sighed. “It wasn’t me, Jaxon. I never talked to the press.”

  “A likely fucking story.” I snorted.

  The receptionist from out front burst through the door, a look of horror on her face as she caught a glimpse of Benton.

  “I’m fine, Ali,” he said. “Give me and Mr. Slade a moment, and cancel my afternoon meetings.”

  “Yes, sir,” she said fearfully. “I’m sorry.” She pulled the door closed behind her.

  “It wasn’t me,” Benton insisted, turning his attention back to me. “I wouldn’t have done that to Liv.”

  “Oh, I guess you were interested in signing us with your damn ten million dollar bonus then?”

  “No,” he confessed. “I wasn’t. Look, I’ll admit it. My intentions weren’t exactly honorable. I didn’t want you to be together, but I wouldn’t have hurt her like that. You maybe, but not her. I didn’t talk to the press, but I know who did. Will you sit down?” He gestured to one of the leather armchairs in front of his desk.

  I narrowed my eyes but said nothing.

  “Fine. I’m going to sit down, though.” He rounded the desk to the oversized office chair, dabbing at the blood that continued to run down his face. “If the music thing doesn’t work out, you could have a promising career as an MMA fighter.”

  “If it wasn’t you, who was it, Benton?” I asked, not at all interested in hearing his stupid jokes.

  “I saw you and Liv together at that Halloween party in Las Vegas.”

  “What?” My heart sank. “She never told me that.”

  “I don’t think she saw me.” He shook his head. “If she did, she didn’t say anything. She walked right past me, and I followed her. That’s when I saw her with you. My girlfriend Shelby recognized you from your stupid band, and I started doing some digging, trying to figure out what you were doing with her.”

  “I don’t know why the fuck you cared.” My jaw tightened involuntarily. “You left her for someone else. Why the hell did it matter to you that she’d moved on?”

  “It made me realize I missed her.”

  “So, you decided to come check me out?”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “I wanted to know who the hell you were, and then I watched the show that night. I watched her, and that’s when I knew I was still in love with her. I told Shelby I’d made a mistake, that I realized I wanted my wife back. I realized how special Liv was, and naturally, Shelby was pretty upset.”

  “You’re a real piece of work, you know that Benton?” I scoffed. “What was the plan? Were you going to try and break us up?”

  “I wanted to,” he admitted. “I’d planned to call Liv and see if I could convince her to talk to me, but before I could… well, you saw it all over the internet. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

  “Liv was the one who had to pay for what you did to that girl,” I snapped. “Liv was the one who suffered, and she left me because of it.”

  “Really?” His eyes widened, amused.

  “Fuck you!” I slung my hand across the desk, knocking the pencil cup and the various trinkets to the floor in one swift movement. “You crushed her spirit. Liv has always been special, but you snuffed out her light every chance you got.”

  “I know,” he said quietly. “What do you want me to say? That I’m a piece of shit? That I wasn’t the husband she deserved? I know that. Don’t you think I know that now? I made a mess of my life and hers. I blamed her for… for things that were out of her control. All of that is true, but it doesn’t change the past.”

  “She was happy with me. I never wanted to change a single hair on her head. She’s fucking perfect, and you never deserved her.”

  “Well,” he chuckled flatly. “Finally, something we can agree on. But if she was so happy with you, Jaxon, why did she leave you?”

  “Because she didn’t want to be in someone else’s shadow again. She didn’t want the media circus to reflect badly on me and the band, and frankly, because she doesn’t think she deserves even a shred of happiness, and that’s on you.”

  He averted his gaze to his hands folded in his lap. “I know I messed up. I know I didn’t treat her right, but I want to fix it.”

  “If you really wanted to fix it, you should have let her go. You should have let her find some fucking happiness with someone who truly loves her.”

  “I do love her.”

  “No, I love her, Benton.” I slammed my fists on the desk so hard that what little was left on the surface shook. “Liv was my entire fucking world and because of you, I lost her.”

  “I didn’t—”

  I shoved my finger in his face. “You broke her, Benton, and I hope it haunts you for the rest of your pathetic life.”

  I turned and walked out of Benton Wyatt’s office, slamming the door. I barreled down the hall past reception, and once I was back in the Mercedes, I peeled out of the parking lot with tears streaming down my face.

  I drove around for what felt like hours, lost in every way imaginable. The street signs blurred together as I drove and drove. I was barely aware of where I was until I looked up and saw the neon hot sign at Krispy Kreme.

  Chapter 35

  Liv

  I awoke to a knocking sound. The room had darkened, and night had fallen while I was asleep.

  My eyes adjusted to the darkness, squinting in the soft glow of the television. I heard the knocking again coming from the front door. It wasn’t Ella or Grace because they would have used their keys. I grabbed my phone off the table, and it lit up to show that it was a few minutes after five. Maybe Katie was dropping by, though normally she would send me a text first, and I didn’t have any messages.

  “One second.” I scrambled to the light switch and flicked it on as whoever was on the other side of the door knocked once more. I swung open the door, bringing me face to face with Benton Wyatt. “What the hell happened to you?” He had the beginnings of a black eye and bloodstains beneath his nose, on his shirt collar, and along one sleeve.


  “Jaxon Slade happened,” he said flatly.

  “I’m sorry, what?” I asked. Jax did that? I was both shocked and slightly… amused? Proud?

  “Do you mind if I come in?” He gestured toward the door with his head. “It’s kind of cold out here.”

  “Oh,” I said, taken aback. “Um, okay.” I stepped aside, allowing him to walk over the threshold, closing the door behind him. “How did you find out where I live?”

  “I have my ways.” Benton walked past me and into the living room. “Nice place you have here.”

  “Thanks.” I narrowed my eyes at him as Mama hissed in his direction and darted down the hall.

  “You got a cat? I thought you hated cats.”

  “I never hated cats. You were allergic.”

  “You still have your Christmas decorations up,” he continued. “You always had ours down before the first of the year.”

  “That’s because you hated them,” I reminded him. “You said Christmas was nothing more than a Hallmark marketing ploy.”

  He nodded. “I guess I did say that, didn’t I?”

  “Why are you here, Ben?” I asked, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. “If you came here to settle a score with Jax, he’s—”

  “I didn’t.” He cut me off. “I came to talk to you.”

  “About how you sabotaged me?”

  “Can we sit?” He held his hand out toward the sofa that Mama had vacated. I eyed him suspiciously a moment, finally nodding as I sat beside him. “Liv, I didn’t talk to the press. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “Right,” I scoffed. “There’s no one else who would do something like that.”

  “It was Shelby,” he said quietly.