Onyx: Truth

by J. S. Lee

  I never saw it as an issue. I thought it was cute and endearing, although I got the impression Youngbin would never like it if I told him that.

  But now… now it was working against them. Every time Youngbin got a move wrong, moving in the opposite direction to what he should have, I could see how frustrated he was getting.

  They were practicing Black Heart, their debut song, and when it came to an end, before I could applaud them, Youngbin turned around, kicking a bottle of water so hard, it soared across the room and exploded against the wall. “Again!” Youngbin yelled over my squeak of surprise.

  “Hyung, we need a break,” JongB said, it almost sounding like he was pleading.

  “No, you need to practice.” Youngbin turned to MinMin. “Play the song again.”

  Eyes wide, but saying nothing, MinMin moved over to the music player and hit play, quickly hurrying back to the correct position. This dance was a repeat of the first with Youngbin and JongB both missing a step.

  I rubbed at my shoulder, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I could see the moment JongB missed the first step and something in his eyes seemed to die a little.

  “Again!” Youngbin yelled.

  MinMin moved back over to the stereo, but no sooner had he hit play, Jiwon had stopped the music. “We all need a break,” he told him. “We’ve been practicing for nearly four hours without one.”

  “And we used to practice for twelve when we were trainees,” Youngbin shot back at him. His head moved sharply, sending drips of sweat flying from his hair.

  “We still had breaks, hyung!” Jiwon snapped.

  “Fine, take all the break you need!” Youngbin kicked another bottle, this time empty, before storming out of the room.

  I watched him go with my eyes wide. Youngbin was intense, but this anger was like nothing I’d seen before.

  Jiwon sighed, grabbing a couple of bottles of water. “Take a break, guys. He’s just stressed.” He disappeared after Youngbin.

  JongB sank to the floor, lying on his back, breathing heavily. “That was my fault. I’m sorry.”

  “Youngbin isn’t mad at you; he’s mad at himself,” MinMin assured him. He moved over to the table to grab a fresh bottle of water, finally realizing I was in the room. “Oh.”

  “Hi,” I said, quietly.

  JongB turned his head to look at me. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to take some backstage photographs for you,” I explained with a shrug.

  “Please tell me you didn’t record any of that?”

  I hurriedly shook my head. “I figured this was probably something I shouldn’t.”

  “How bad was it?” JongB asked. He propped himself up on his elbows, groaning at the effort.

  “Considering how little time you’ve had to relearn all your routines, it was fucking awesome.”

  “But still not good enough,” he muttered. He sucked in a deep breath. “CX, pass me a towel.”

  Dutifully, the maknae moved over to the corner of the room where there was a stack of towels, taking the top one and walking over to JongB to give it to him. Then, he returned to the corner of the room where he sank into one of the chairs, grabbing his phone.

  I joined MinMin at the table, picking up one of the bottles, then went to sit next to JongB. JongB was wiping the sweat from his face and neck but stopped when I offered the bottle to him. “Thank you,” he said, wearily. Instead of drinking it, he poured it over his head, then shook his hair sending drops flying.

  I squealed as the cool water splashed all over me, rolling out of the way. “What are you doing, you idiot?”

  “It’s just water.”

  “You got me wet,” I informed him, my tone dry unlike the rest of me.

  “I’ve been known to have that affect,” he agreed with a smug grin.

  “Oh, ha ha ha…” I rolled my eyes at him. “You’re just so punny.”

  JongB gave me a look, then, slowly, peeled the Chicago Bulls basketball jersey he was wearing over his head.

  Yeah… my mind stopped working as I watched beads of water, or maybe sweat, roll down the defined lines of his chest. He wasn’t muscular like Xiao. None of them were. But he sure as hell had a good body too. It really didn’t match with his cheeky face.

  Scratch that.

  JongB gave me a look then, which I could only describe as predatory. He’d gone from zero to lethal in a heartbeat. His gaze locked on mine and I swear the temperature of the room went up.

  Apparently, I wasn’t the only one to think this.

  The next thing I knew, MinMin was throwing water in his face. “Do you two need us to leave?” he asked.

  While I was doubling over from laughter, JongB leaped to his feet to tackle MinMin to the floor where he proceeded to tickle him. MinMin had the most high-pitched laughter I’d heard as he giggled away, unable to unpin himself from under JongB. “CX, help me!” MinMin cried.

  I glanced over at CX who was watching them, wide-eyed. “I think you’re on your own, MinMin,” I told him.

  Then MinMin squirmed beneath JongB, finally getting some control so he could reach up and lick the side of JongB’s face. If I thought MinMin had a high-pitched laugh, it was nothing compared to the squeal that came out of JongB.

  Youngbin and Jiwon returned to the room to find us all laughing so hard we had tears streaming down our faces. “What the hell is going on in here?” Youngbin demanded. He turned to me with a scowl. “You shouldn’t be taking photographs.”

  “I’m not,” I assured him, sobering quickly at his stern tone. I pointed over to where I had been sitting when I had first come in, and the camera that was sat back there. “I haven’t even taken my camera out yet.”

  “Then why are you in here?”

  I held my hands up. “I was going to take backstage photos,” I admitted. “I decided against it.”

  “You shouldn’t be in here.”

  “Hyung,” Jiwon said, objecting to that. “She’s OK.”

  “We don’t know her,” he snapped.

  “It’s fine,” I said, getting to my feet. The last thing I wanted was to cause any of them any more stress than needed. “I’ll go.”

  Before anything else could be said, I gathered up my things and left the room. If Youngbin didn’t want me in there, I wasn’t going to stay, but at the same time, it hurt a little.

  He was right: he didn’t know me. I hadn’t really had the chance to get to know any of them, except for Xiao, which I suppose said more about me and Jiwon than anything else. That being said, wasn’t that the point of dating? To get to know if you were compatible with someone before you married them?

  I stopped, alarmed at my own thoughts. Marriage? Really?

  I left the stadium, heading outside for some fresh air. It was raining here now, but it was a little warmer than Osaka had been. I sat down under a sheltered area, watching the rain. The stadium was in the middle of what looked like a residential area. Aside from a couple of other stadiums, there really wasn’t much there to do. Plus… rain…

  Eventually, I pulled out my phone. Holly had replied to my earlier message of screenshots. There was a team at Atlantis now dedicated to online threats and malicious comments and they would be looking into it. That was good to know. It didn’t mean that it would get them all removed, nor did it mean CX and the others wouldn’t read them, but it did make me feel a bit better that they were at least being taken seriously.

  I turned my VPN on and switched my attention to Twitter, and changed my mind three tweets in. Sure, there was a team in place, but the internet was full of trolls. I went to Facebook. It was the first time I had opened it since leaving Vegas. I’d turned off all my notification pop-ups and so I was surprised at the amount I had. Most were likes and comments on my photography page. The pop diva was pulling in a nice bit of attention for me with the few photos I’d been allowed to share.

  But then I stumbled across a post shared by a mutual friend of mine and Damien’s. Wedding pictures. The woma
n was stunning. She looked like Beyoncé. Before I could stop myself, I clicked on her profile. She was just as glamorous as Beyoncé too. What was worse, it looked like Damien had been with her at least a year.

  I stared at a picture of the two of them, wondering why I wasn’t reacting like any sane person would. My ex-boyfriend had been cheating on me and married the other woman, and I was staring at the photograph like I didn’t even know him.

  I suppose I didn’t, judging from this.

  We’d been together since senior year of college. I’d met him not long after returning from Japan. Things hadn’t been great for longer than a year. It wasn’t that we argued or that things were violent, because they weren’t. We just sort of existed. I suppose it wasn’t a surprise to me that there was someone else.

  “Kate?” a voice said, cautiously.

  I looked up and found JongB walking towards me. I hurriedly closed the app, slipping the phone into my pocket as I gave him a wide smile. “I see you found your clothes.”

  “Disappointed?” he asked, sitting down next to me.

  “Always,” I agreed.

  He tilted his head at me. “Are you a perv?” he asked me, slowly, though he seemed amused.

  I held my hand up. “My mind is a full-time resident of the gutter.”

  “I think mine moved in next to yours.”

  It was my turn to cock my head. JongB had a sweet and innocent face. I struggled to believe it was as filthy as mine. Jiwon, maybe. Not JongB. Hell, I wasn’t even convinced he had ever watched porn. CX was more likely to have done that. “Youngbin let you escape?”

  “Sungmin made him stop,” he sighed, growing solemn.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.

  “Yes, but not now,” JongB replied. “I came out here to get you. Sungmin says it’s time to get to the hotel and then we can clean up so that we can go out for dinner. He says there’s a good place for jiya xuetang near here and I’m starving.”

  I must admit, I was hungry too. I’d never had jiya xuetang though. “What is that?” I asked, suspiciously.

  JongB shrugged at me. “Honestly, I have no idea. Some kind of soup. I’d rather have a burger, but I intend on saving that for when we’re back in the US. Xiao is always talking about the jiya xuetang that his grandmother makes. She’s from just outside of Shanghai, actually.”

  “And Xiao never made it for you, or explained what it was?”

  “Xiao tried to boil eggs once. He left them on the stove, forgot about them, and when the water evaporated, they exploded. We all thought someone had brought a gun into our dorm. He was banned from cooking after that.”

  I burst out laughing, imagining everyone diving for cover. How the fuck did you manage to mess up a boiled egg? “Note to self: don’t let Xiao cook.”

  Beside me, JongB stood, offering me a hand to help me up. I accepted it, but he didn’t let go. “If Sungmin allows it, maybe we can sneak out later?”

  “I’d like that,” I agreed.

  제 11 장

  Rain

  Jiya xuetang was indeed soup. The translation, I discovered when looking at the suspicious chunks in it, was duck’s blood. I’m sure it tasted nice, but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat it. I’m not a vegetarian and I do eat most food, but blood. I had a friend who tried to convince me to eat black pudding once… there was nothing dessert-like about that.

  I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t eating it. As soon as JongB discovered what the things that looked like a cross between liver and tofu were, he’d pushed his bowl away, helping himself to some of the other things on the table. I didn’t speak any Chinese to order anything else, and honestly, the sight of it turned my stomach enough to not want to eat anything anyway.

  Of course, by the time I was back at the hotel, my stomach was grumbling. “I’m going to find a McDonalds,” I told Sungmin.

  He looked at me with a frown. “You should have said something. We would have ordered something else for you.”

  “I’m good,” I told him. “Or I was. But now I’m hungry. Unless you need me for something?”

  “Do you need company?” he asked, looking unsure.

  “I’ll go!” JongB suddenly announced. “I need food too.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Sungmin said, eyeing JongB warily.

  JongB folded his arms. “Don’t worry, I can look after her.”

  “It’s not her he’s worried about,” Youngbin muttered.

  “Thank you for your concern,” JongB said, flashing his leader a grin.

  “I mean, you should be practicing.”

  Jiwon stepped between the two of them, shaking his head. “No, we need to relax. JongB needs to eat. Come on, hyung. We can find a movie to watch.”

  Although he didn’t look happy, Youngbin consented. Or at least, I think he consented. Jiwon dragged him off to the elevator while he had an irritated expression.

  Sungmin pulled his wallet out of his pocket and handed over a few notes. “Do you know where you’re going?” Both of us nodded. I was fairly certain, JongB, like myself, had no clue. “OK, stay out of trouble. Your fanbase has been a little turbulent here today, so don’t do anything to attract attention to yourselves.”

  “Would I?” JongB asked, blinking innocently.

  Even I snorted at that one.

  “Don’t make me regret this,” Sungmin said. He turned to me. “If he becomes troublesome, call me. And don’t forget your mask!”

  I nodded, then walked out of the hotel, JongB at my side. As soon as we cleared the hotel and he had put a cap and mask on, I gave him a sideways glance. “Why do I feel like I’m your babysitter?”

  “One time I lost my wallet… One time!” JongB exclaimed.

  I pulled a face. “You lost your wallet once and your manager thinks it’s OK for us to go out because I’m providing adult supervision?” I snorted. “Yeah, and the rest of it...?”

  JongB folded his arms and glared at the sidewalk. I really did feel like I was babysitting. “I may not be the best when it comes to directions, OK?”

  I was still laughing at him when we walked into McDonalds. Using a machine, we made our order. Just as I was about to hit the ‘eat in’ option, JongB swooped in and hit ‘take out’. “At least it stopped raining,” I muttered. We went to the counter to pay, then, when our order was ready, walked back outside. “What’s the plan?” I asked, suspiciously.

  “We’re near the river. I thought we could head there and eat?” JongB suggested.

  We weren’t going to get the opportunity to see much of Shanghai, so it seemed like a good idea to me. The river, Huángpǔ, was a busy one. It reminded me a little of the one time I’d been to New Orleans, only there were less drunk people about.

  We found a bench and sat down, watching the boats and the tourists. “How did you end up being an idol?” I asked him.

  “I came to visit family and got spotted on the street by some guy at Atlantis. He told me to audition. I have no idea how I passed. I couldn’t dance back then. I wasn’t great at singing, and my rapping was average at best. I was fourteen at the time.”

  “And you quit school?” I asked, my eyes wide.

  JongB nodded, taking a bite of his burger. “My parents went back to Chicago, I stayed. I trained for six years, then they put me forward for ‘Show Me The Money’. After that, I debuted with Onyx. I don’t regret any of it.”

  “Has Youngbin always been that grumpy?” I asked, finishing off my fries. God, I needed them.

  “Youngbin gets stressed easily. He was in a group with another company before Onyx. They debuted and were disbanded after only one song. He came to Atlantis about five years ago, and they made him our leader. He takes it seriously.” He took a sip of his coke to swallow his burger. “I mean, we all do. But he really takes it to heart. He wants what’s best for us.”

  “I don’t think yelling at you all the time is the definition of what’s best,” I pointed out.

  “He’s shou
ting at himself,” JongB said.

  The handful of fries hovered near my mouth. “He’s shouting at all of you. I have no idea how you’re still standing. I haven’t seen any of you stop and relax yet.”

  “Part of being a trainee means we’re used to working hard. It doesn’t stop when we debut – not if we want to be successful.” He angled his body to me. “It just means I have excellent stamina.”

  “Dude, you look exhausted,” I told him.

  JongB let out a long sigh, sinking back against the back of the bench. “I will admit, today I am exhausted.” He balled up his trash and dropped it in the large paper bag McDonalds had given us. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t spend some time with you.” He leaned over, resting his chin on my shoulder.

  I smiled, sticking a cold fry in his mouth. “It’s just going to be like this because we’re in China, right?” I asked. “I mean, you guys missing Xiao is what is making this as bad as it is?”

  “It’s our first world tour, so I don’t think we’ll completely relax, but I think it will be a little easier once we leave China. We just want to do well for our fans.”

  I turned pressing my lips to his forehead. “I think you guys will kick ass. I have never seen anything like the shows that you put on. You should see some of the photographs I took.”

  “Much as I want to go back to your hotel room, do you want to walk along the riverbank with me first. We probably have half an hour anyway, but I feel like I’ve been inside for forever and this fresh air feels good.”

  I nodded and JongB gathered up the rest of the trash. He jogged over to a trash can before I could, depositing it in there, then jogged back to me. After pulling his mask back up, he reached for my hand, taking it in his and intertwining our fingers.

  “Don’t take this as me complaining, but are you sure it’s OK to do that?” I asked him as we walked closer to the water’s edge. Being early evening, despite the sun having set a few hours previously, there were still a fair amount of people on the pathway, taking pictures of the skyline on the other side of the bank. Right here there was a glorious view of the Oriental Pearl TV Tower, all lit up.