United

by A. Aubry

  She smiled at me, “Hi sweetheart, how was practice?

  See, this was how the conversations were supposed to go.

  “It was good. I think we’re ready for Sunday’s game. How’s my family?” I came over to their two chairs and placed a kiss atop Leo’s head, “Hey big guy.”

  I leaned down and planted a swift kiss against Julianna’s awaiting lips, “Why do you taste like bananas?”

  Her giggle floated around me, a sound I hadn’t really heard much the last few weeks, “I must’ve accidentally kissed some off of Leo’s cheeks here. He’s having some for dinner.”

  “Well, as long as it’s our son’s cheek and not some strangers, then I’m alright with that,” I teased.

  Way to lay that on a little thick, McAllister.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket and I opened the newest text from Victoria as I made my way over the refrigerator.

  Victoria: I’m gonna wear something sexy for you ;)

  I grabbed a water bottle out of the refrigerator and leaned back against the countertop across from the kitchen island. My rule was not to text Victoria when I was in the same room as Julianna. It saved me any headaches. Julianna hopped up on the island and gripped my shirt before tugging me towards her. I locked my phone up and set it down next to her.

  “So baby, I was thinking,” she smiled sweetly which completely disarmed me because Leo was sitting in his chair and normally she never paid me this much attention.

  “That’s not good,” I smirked.

  Her tongue stuck out of her mouth playfully, “Do you want to call Bo and Angie and see if they’ll watch Leo tonight? We can go out and have dinner…maybe go out for a little longer after that, just the two of us?”

  Wait…she wanted to spend alone time with me? Willingly? If I cancelled on Victoria, it would just be a huge dramatic scene. Maybe Julianna wanted to start making an effort with us again. Maybe it was time to end things with Victoria so I could be all in for this relationship.

  “I wish we could, Julianna. But Bo and I already made plans with the guys to have a quick drink after we all go to dinner. It’s Calvin’s birthday, one of the new draftees from January,” I fed her the story I came up with in the car and rested my hands on her thighs.

  I could see her smile fall slightly, “Oh, okay. I wish you would’ve told me that. I was really hoping that we could do something together. I feel like I rarely ever see you anymore.”

  That broke my heart. She wanted to do something with me, why did I make plans with Victoria so eagerly?

  “I’m sorry baby, it was all decided as I was driving home. We’ll do something together tomorrow before I fly out, how does that sound?” I kissed her softly.

  We could do breakfast or brunch, just the two of us. Yeah, I was definitely going to squash what was happening with Victoria tonight after this conversation.

  “That sounds great. You should probably go get cleaned up if you’re gonna go out with our friends. But, not too cleaned up…I don’t want another girl stealing you right out from under my nose,” she smiled and giggled.

  Correction: That fucking broke my heart. It was like she knew but didn’t want to say anything.

  “Thanks for understanding. I love you,” I turned around and headed up the stairs to our bedroom.

  I got dressed and I heard Julianna come up the stairs with Leo and take him to the nursery. It was his bedtime routine time. The water turning on in the bathroom that was attached to the nursery told me she was starting his bath. I peeked into the nursery and straight through to the bathroom where Julianna was undressing Leo.

  “Do you think that Daddy will spend some time with me when he gets home? You’ll be in bed, so it would just be the two of us,” she talked to Leo in her baby talk voice.

  I put my hand on the door frame and smiled. She really did want to spend alone time with me. Man, was I a fucking asshole or what? Without saying goodbye, I headed out the door. It was time to end this with Victoria once and for all.

  It had been two hours and the more Victoria talked, the more I wanted to tear my hair out. What the fuck did I ever see in this self-absorbed woman? Suddenly I wished that I’d stayed home with Julianna and went on our own date.

  “Vic, I gotta talk to you about something,” I was ready to admit it now that I had a few drinks in me.

  “Sure, baby. What’s going on?” She leaned in closer to me, giving me a good glimpse of her fake breasts.

  I looked away and down at my drink, “This…I don’t think I can do this anymore. Julianna is acting like she wants to put our relationship first a little more. I can’t do that when I’m sneaking around behind her back.”

  “Oh, okay,” she said softly, “Well, can we at least finish our night?”

  I shrugged a shoulder, “Yeah, just as long as we aren’t too late tonight. I have a feeling Julianna is going to be waiting up for me.”

  She sighed and pouted her lips slightly. I put my hand on her naked thigh just under the hem of her dress, like I had whenever we were together. Her mood instantly changed as she switched topics back to one of her best friends who had a large boat that she was going to go out on the lake with this weekend. When I told her it sounded like more fun than having to go to an away game this weekend, she giggled and pressed her lips against mine. I took a swig of my beer, trying to get the taste of her overly strawberry lip gloss out of my mouth.

  “Babe, you have a fan here!” Victoria called over the music to me with a large smile on her face.

  I turned my attention to where she was pointing and my heart stopped. Julianna stood there looking fucking fine as hell in a tight black lace and nude dress, her breasts were pushed up to show that even though she still breastfed Leo, they were still large and beautiful. Her hair fell over her shoulders in its normal waviness, and she was a few inches taller thanks to the wedged high heels she was wearing.

  Any other time, I would’ve been ready to jump her…hell, I was ready to jump her now. But the look of anguish on her face at the sight of me here with Victoria stopped me. How did she know that I was here? My hand immediately lifted away from Victoria’s leg and Bo suddenly joined us. Fuck. She knew I’d lied.

  “Julianna,” he stopped next to her, his hand on his chest as he tried to catch his breath.

  “Bo! Is this a fan of yours too?” My god she was a fucking idiot. I literally just said Julianna’s name to her ten minutes ago.

  “Oh, hey Victoria. No, this isn’t a fan. I mean, yes she is a fan, but she’s more than that.”

  “This is your girlfriend then! How cute!” Victoria clapped her hands together.

  Oh my god, just stop talking.

  “I’m not his girlfriend,” Julianna finally answered.

  “Oh, then how do you know Finn and Bo?”

  Julianna locked eyes with me and I looked down at my halfway empty beer.

  “I’m Finn’s wife.”

  Victoria stiffened beside me, “Oh…shit.”

  I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I broke her, I cheated and I made poor choices because I was thinking with my cock and not my head.

  “Calvin sure looks different from the last time I met him, sweetheart,” Julianna bit at me.

  “Jules, I can explain.”

  Julianna cut me off as she folded her arms over her chest, “No. You don’t get to call me Jules anymore, Finn. That name is reserved for my friends and the people who care about me.”

  What the fuck? I care about you…

  My mouth opened and closed a few times.

  “I have been at home alone with our son until the wee hours of the morning for the last two months because of this slut?” Julianna spit.

  “Hey!” Victoria called out.

  “I wanted to go out with you tonight to spend some time with you and you said you were with your friends. I wanted to get dressed up like this with you, have a quiet dinner with just the two of us, and you chose to leave me at home with Leo to meet with her.”

  I wi
sh I wasn’t as stupid as I had been. I had a perfect woman and I fucked it up.

  Julianna continued, “I knew something was going on, you’ve been different the last two months. You were good at hiding it though, keeping up the rouse that you wanted to have sex with me. You are exactly like your father, you know that, right? Your five-month-old son is at home right now, sleeping in his crib, and you are out with another woman. Cheating on his mother for the last two months of his life.”

  Holy fuck. She was right. I am like my father…

  My hand went out to grab her hand but she moved out of my grasp. If she would just let me explain my feelings, why I decided to do this in the first place.

  “You spent our entire relationship telling me that you loved me, telling me how beautiful I am because of how I was treated by Michael. Now, by the looks of this, all your hard work just went down the toilet. You never thought I was beautiful, you just wanted to sleep with me. Then I guess we just got in too deep.”

  You are beautiful…I fucking love you, Jules. It was never about the sex.

  As a tear rolled down her cheek, I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and say that I was sorry.

  “You said you married me because you almost lost me once thanks to Michael attacking me. Now all you have to blame is yourself for really losing me this time.”

  What the hell did that mean?

  She slipped her rings off and smacked her hand against the table with them, “I don’t want you anywhere near me or my son. We will be out of the house after his afternoon nap tomorrow until his dinner time. You will come to the house during that period of time and collect what you will need for your away game. Your point of contact to get to me is through Bo and Angie. They will set up a time and day for you to get your shit and get the fuck out of my house.”

  She was leaving me. I fucked this up. She wanted me nowhere near her and she didn’t want me to see our son. I could feel my heart race as her hand moved from the table and her rings sat near my hands.

  “I hope you have a great life, Finn Walker McAllister, because you just lost two of the people who loved you more than life itself.”

  She stormed out of the bar, Bo quickly following her out. No, she needed to understand what was going on, why it led to this. I grabbed her rings off the table and ran after her. Getting outside quickly, I saw Bo’s arm around Julianna’s shoulders as they walked away.

  “Julianna!” I yelled, my voice echoing off the buildings around us.

  Bo glanced back at me, “Just give it up, Finn. It’s too late.”

  No, it couldn’t be too late. Julianna refused to turn around to look at me once more. As they disappeared around the corner, I sat down on one of the benches outside of the bar. I couldn’t lose her…I couldn’t lose my family.

  It was midnight by the time I finally got back to the house. Sure, I probably had more beers than was recommended before you drive, but at this point I gave zero fucks. The house was dark as I pulled up the driveway and into the garage. I walked into the kitchen and went to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. As I closed the door and took a sip of my water, a picture of me, Julianna, and Leo was pinned up on the refrigerator door in front of me. Tears stung my eyes as I ran my fingers over our smiling faces.

  Collecting myself once again, I went upstairs hoping to see Julianna in our bed. Her place was empty, her pillow and one of our blankets missing. When I went to the nursery and tried to turn the doorknob, it wouldn’t budge. That was how I knew that Julianna was in there with Leo. I couldn’t even say a quick goodbye to my son…

  I went back into our bedroom and quickly packed my bag for our away game. Before I could even think about leaving, I scribbled out a note for Julianna.

  Julianna- I’m sorry for the pain that I have caused you and our small family. You don’t understand, I need to explain. Please call me so we can talk. I need you and Leo in my life. Love, Finn.

  Picking up the slip of paper, I slid it under the door to the nursery. I put my hand on the door, willing both Julianna and Leo to know just how much I did love them.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The last month had been fucking torture. I’d moved into a month to month furnished apartment once I got back from our away game and even after a month, it still didn’t feel like home. My mother had no idea that Julianna and I were not living together, and Cooper and Ashton had ripped me a new one when I told them what had happened.

  The only plus that had taken shape was that Julianna was texting me in regard to Leo and allowing me to see him. God, that kid was amazing, and he was only six months old. If any text that I sent to Julianna wasn’t about our son, she would ignore me otherwise.

  We had worked out a schedule this week where I would get Leo Monday through Thursday night since I wouldn’t be able to see him this weekend because of an away game. Usually I got him every weekend if I was in town, but with soccer season in full swing, it was getting more and more difficult to work out a visitation schedule.

  As I drove to the house from my apartment, I reconsidered asking Julianna to go out to dinner with me this time. While I wanted to work on us, I understood that we had to put Leo and what was best for him first. An innocent dinner date to talk about our son would be acceptable, right?

  I pulled the car into the driveway and closed the door behind me. I wasn’t allowed to park in the garage anymore. I had forfeited my keys and my garage door opener when I had come to pick up the remainder of my things a month ago. Taking a deep breath to mentally prepare myself for seeing Julianna once again, I walked up onto the front porch and knocked lightly on the door.

  Julianna swung open the door, Leo sitting on her hip as his smile widened when he saw me. Leo was definitely a momma’s boy, but he always gave me the same wide smile whenever he saw me.

  A part of me was worried that he would forget who I was because I wasn’t around all the time. So far, that had yet to happen. Julianna pursed her lips and I forced my eyes to stay focused on her from the neck up and not the neck down. If I did, I would say something I’d regret later on that would push her away.

  “Hey,” Julianna said softly and I watched her eyes look me up and down.

  “Hi. He all set to go?” I let myself in once she moved to the side.

  “Yeah, his travel bag is right here, and the pack and play is leaning up against the banister over by the staircase,” she pointed it out to me.

  I quickly walked over to the staircase and picked up the pack and play by the strap and turned around just in time to see Julianna picking up Leo’s travel bag. Rushing over, I carefully took it from her, mindful of the split second that our hands touched, “I got it, Julianna. You’ve already got the baby in your arms.”

  She rolled her eyes, “I’ve become quite good at multitasking, Finn.”

  You were always good at multitasking in the bedroom. Shut up brain!

  “I’m sure you have but let me take the bags to the car. I’ll be right back to grab him.”

  I made sure I had everything before I left the house and returned to my car. I tucked everything into the trunk and closed the hatch. Needing one more breath of fresh air—Julianna’s perfume was putting me in a tizzy—I finally turned around and went back inside. Julianna watched me as Leo played with her necklace. Taking a mental note, I realized she hadn’t taken off her one-month anniversary gift since I returned it to her. Was that a sign? Julianna cleared her throat as she looked down at Leo then back at me.

  “I packed some spare clothes in his bag in case you haven’t had a chance to get more. I also packed another container of formula for you to keep at your place because he’s gotten a little picky with the brands. Um, he just had carrots and peas the last two nights, so make sure you feed him fruits. I put his new favorite bedtime book in his bag. He likes when you make voices for each of the letters.

  “Other than that, make sure you keep an eye on him if you set him down on the ground. He’s been rolling over a lot the last few days and
he has really gotten the hang of his tummy scooting,” Julianna advised me.

  A month ago, I would have rolled my eyes at her for this run down, now I just found it attractive.

  “I picked up some clothes for him, but with him and his messy eating you can never have enough. Thanks for the updates though, I’ll do my best to do the voices as well as you do for his book,” I offered up a small smile to her.

  She returned my smile, “I’m sure you’ll do just fine. I put his blue rubber ducky in the bag too for bath time. He seriously never puts it down when he’s in there.”

  I nodded slowly, “Good to know.”

  “Mind if I walk you two to the car? I need to check the mail anyways, I forgot to grab it.”

  More time with you? Yes, please.

  “Yeah, not a problem.”

  Julianna walked behind me with Leo in her arms. I quickly got behind the wheel and started the car, turning on the air conditioning because it was another warm July day. As I opened the back-driver’s side door, I saw Julianna fanning herself with her free hand. It wasn’t that hot out yet, what was she doing?

  “You okay, Julianna?”

  “Yeah, totally fine. Just didn’t realize how hot it was out here today,” she said nervously as her eyes stared at my car.

  Or you are just having flashbacks to the night we fucked against this car. Trust me, I have those every time I look at the damn thing.

  I nodded and raised an eyebrow at her. She quickly looked back down at Leo who was talking to himself.

  “Okay, sweetheart. You be good for Daddy, you hear me? I love you. I’m going to miss you so, so much!” Julianna kissed his cheek until he giggled.

  Damn, I missed watching her interact with Leo. It warmed my heart. Julianna unlatched Leo’s hand from her necklace and handed him over to me. I kissed his cheek and quickly sat him in his car seat, buckling him in as he babbled to me loudly.