Outbreak Company: Volume 14

by Ichiro Sakaki

  “Lizardmen are carnivores, right? Maybe the baby just doesn’t know it’s not supposed to eat humans yet.” Minori-san’s comment was almost but not quite on point. And what was I, a prey animal?! I mean, yeah, I guess I pretty much was. But this kid was only a few hours old and it was already hunting game several times its size. That’s aggression for you.

  “Wh-Whatever, listen—the kid was just born, it can’t even talk yet! These things happen! It’s okay! I’m all good, right? I’m hardly even hurt!” I hid my injured hand behind my back as I spoke. It was actually exceedingly painful, but if I said anything like that, I could tell Brooke would lop his arm straight off, so I just put on my best face.

  “Anyway,” I said, trying to change the subject at least a little, “I’m amazed how it gets around when it just hatched. Lizardmen grow in a hurry, huh?”

  “Yes,” Brooke said, finally starting to calm down. At least he had lowered his arm, Elvia and all. “At least compared to humans, I should think. I would expect the child to be walking within the day, and speaking three or four days from now.”

  “Geez, there’s fast and then there’s fast!”

  It took humans a year to start standing and walking, and at least that long to make more than baby gurgles. Sure, you might get a word or two out of a younger infant, but meaningful sentences started at around three or four years old. Lizardmen were way ahead of us. Wait... Could it be lizardmen were actually a lot smarter than humans...? Or maybe they had about the same intellectual capacities as humans, but just reached them faster?

  It was all enough to make my head spin. But I was sure starting to feel some biological inferiority...

  Maybe I should have expected as much from a world with magic and dragons and stuff.

  “So, Brooke,” I said, with my best it’s-really-no-big-deal smile. (Uh-oh. Maybe lizardmen were no better at reading human facial expressions than we were at reading theirs. A mystery for another time.) “Hurry up and hold your new child.”

  “Thank y’, sir,” he said after a long moment, finally hefting himself off the floor.

  “Here, Brooke,” Cerise said, walking over to him and handing him the baby.

  He took it with hesitation and wonder. For a while, he just stared at the kid, who waved and squirmed in his arms. He looked partly moved, and partly just confused. We all watched him, our hearts in our throats.

  After a long silence, he said, “Cerise.”

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.”

  Just that. We waited, but he didn’t say anything else.

  Cerise said, “Of course.”

  Just that. They weren’t embarrassed, or tongue-tied. They had a bond of trust that made those words enough. Maybe this was what it meant to be so close to someone you could almost read their thoughts.

  This husband and wife, they were really... awesome.

  I discovered that made me happy.

  Some time after Brooke’s emotional meeting with his child...

  We had gathered in the living room for a bit of a banquet. I wanted to take this opportunity to get to know Brooke’s new family member.

  I had wondered if lizardman infants would look sort of craggy in comparison to human babies, but the kid’s big, round eyes made it surprisingly (in a good sense) lovable. I guess plenty of people hate snakes, but when you really look at them, they’ve got cute eyes. I’ve heard lots of girls have pet reptiles. As long as you’re okay with the scales, they really look pretty sweet.

  But anyway...

  “Come to think of it, what are you going to name it?” I asked Brooke and Cerise as I watched the baby tumble on the carpet.

  “Yessir. We were considering Man’ya.”

  “That’s a nice name.” It... fit this child, somehow. It was cute.

  Speaking of cute, I was just realizing that the baby was a girl.

  Myusel and Elvia crouched by Man’ya, enjoying watching her as she wandered around. Man’ya, for her part, was capable of standing upright, but her balance wasn’t very good yet, and every few steps she would tumble to the ground. Luckily, she didn’t have far to fall, and she instinctively curled up into a ball, so it didn’t seem to do her any harm.

  “U-Um, Cerise-san?” Myusel looked up at Man’ya’s mother with some nervousness.

  “Yes, do you need anything?”

  “W-Would it be... all right if I touched her...?”

  “Of course, go ahead,” Cerise said.

  “What, really?” I asked, all too aware of my punctured hand, but Myusel, completely enamored of Man’ya’s cuteness, said, “It’ll be all right—I think.” She didn’t sound completely convinced. Nonetheless, she reached out to the child.

  There was a pause. Man’ya gave Myusel’s hand a quizzical look. She didn’t seem like she was about to attack it, but we already knew that reptiles were experts at ambush. I watched, anxious, but...

  “She’s so cute!”

  There was no biting at all. Man’ya politely let Myusel pat her head. In fact, she crawled closer to Myusel and stuck out her head as if to ask for more.

  This seemed to flip some strange switch even for Elvia. “M-Me, too!” she exclaimed. “I wanna touch her, too! Can I?”

  “Certainly. In fact, would you like to hold her?” Cerise said.

  “Can I?!”

  “I’d l-like to, too...” Myusel said. When Elvia had had a turn patting the baby on the head, Cerise picked up little Man’ya and handed her to Myusel. “Ohhh...” Myusel breathed as she held the child in her arms.

  “Am... Am I doing it right?”

  “Well, lizardmen are quite different from humans, elves, or werewolves,” Cerise offered. “It’s rare for us to carry our children from place to place. Instead, the younglings usually cling to their parents’ bodies. We pick them up, and then they find a spot that’s comfortable.”

  “Huh, so that’s how it works,” I said, impressed.

  It made sense: with five or six kids, a parent could hardly hope to carry all the babies at once. Plenty of animals, even mammals, transported their young on their bodies like that. Lizardmen were apparently one of them. And anyway, what we called “carrying” a child was fundamentally about allowing them to nurse, but lizardmen didn’t breast-feed. As I knew from experience, Man’ya had a perfectly good set of teeth for eating solid food even though she was just a newborn.

  I guess in my own world, reptiles weren’t famous for paying a lot of attention to their offspring. Compared with that, lizardmen looked like pretty good parents—protecting their eggs and raising the young. Closer to humans than snakes.

  “Me too, me too!” Elvia exclaimed, bouncing around Myusel, who was concentrating very hard on not dropping Man’ya. Her tail wagged furiously; she was obviously excited. But it wasn’t like when she saw the soccer ball. There was no sense that she had completely lost herself.

  Huh. I had never really taken Elvia for the motherly type, but I guess instincts are instincts.

  Speaking of which...

  “Me too, if you don’t mind...” Minori-san said, getting up from the couch.

  Wow, even her?

  Man’ya was passed from Myusel’s arms to Elvia’s, then even Minori-san’s. She didn’t seem to mind being part of this impromptu relay, and hardly squirmed at all as she went from person to person.

  Hmm. I guess lizardman children are supposed to be sponges when it comes to language. Maybe she was already learning that these people were her friends. Or at least, maybe she had learned not to randomly bite them.

  Okay, then!

  “L-Let me try!” I said, standing up. Hey, I like cute things as much as the next guy. “Oh,” I added, “what about you, Hikaru-san?”

  “I’m fine just watching,” he said with an I’ll-pass wave. “I get nervous around tiny things.”

  Yeah, I could understand that. You always had to worry that they might break if you so much as touched them. But as for me, having waved Man’ya around vigorously while she was latched onto
my hand, I knew she was tougher than that.

  “C’mere, Man’ya, sweetie!” I reached out for the child in Minori-san’s arms. Uh-oh. I already sounded like I was talking to a cat or something.

  “I sense trouble brewing,” Hikaru-san said.

  “Oh, don’t be a spoilsport,” I shot back, taking Man’ya—

  “Gyu!”

  “Nggghhaaaa!”

  —who promptly chomped down on my arm.

  “Man’ya, no!” Cerise said, freeing the child from my limb. At least she let go right away this time, but there was a fresh row of teeth marks around my left elbow. It hurt.

  “Shinichi-sama, are you all right?” Myusel asked.

  “Y-Yeah, thanks...” I nodded. It wasn’t exactly true—in fact, this hurt like heck—but the wounds weren’t deep or anything. I would get some disinfectant and be fine. “But why am I the only one?” Man’ya had been perfectly sweet for Myusel, Elvia, and Minori-san. Was it because I was human? But so was Minori-san. Or maybe she only bit guys?

  “I—I am so sorry, Master!” While I pondered, Brooke threw himself to the floor and produced a hatchet from God knew where. “Allow me to take responsibility for—”

  “G-Geez, stop that! I told you you don’t need to—stop!”

  This time Elvia grabbed him without my saying anything and successfully pried the hatchet from his hand. What was he doing walking around with something like that, anyway?! No gore! Please!

  But there was a part of me that thought, So this is what it means to be a parent.

  Brooke was normally so calm and composed. Even setting aside my difficulty reading lizardman expressions, he didn’t seem very emotive. I had very rarely seen him get excited. But when it came to anything to do with Man’ya, he always seemed on the verge of plunging into a kowtow and then comboing into splitting his belly open. I’d heard the birth of a child could throw a switch that turned a person into a totally dedicated parent—maybe that’s what I was seeing.

  I almost admired it, in a way. There was nothing for me to criticize. But seriously, I wondered about this thing with the kid.

  “Hey, Hikaru-san, I think you should try to hold Man’ya,” I said, turning to him where he sat on the couch.

  “Who, me? Why?”

  “I’m just wondering if she bites me because I’m a man.”

  “She doesn’t bite Brooke.”

  “Okay, a human man, then. If that’s the story, then she should bite you, too.”

  Consider it a little experiment in Man’ya’s favorite targets. I would be really disappointed if I were the only one she wasn’t friendly towards, so I had a lot riding on this.

  “In other words, you want me to be a human guinea pig,” Hikaru-san grumbled, looking at me with ice-cold eyes.

  “It would be so sad if I was the only one she didn’t get along with.”

  “God, you... Bah, fine.” Hikaru-san heaved himself up off the couch and went over to Cerise. It looked like maybe he was interested in holding Man’ya in spite of his protestations. “Just be sure you get her back right away if she latches onto me,” he said, then slowly, carefully reached out toward the baby.

  We all watched with bated breath. And Man’ya...

  She climbed politely into Hikaru-san’s arms. More than politely, in fact. She practically seemed to be nuzzling up to him.

  Hikaru-san’s expression softened. It’s a good feeling to have something small and cute warm up to you. Supporting Man’ya with his left arm, he stroked her head with his right hand. No sign of biting anywhere.

  “Gyu,” she said. She sounded downright affectionate.

  “But why?!” I wailed. “Why only me?!” How could the difference between us be so stark?!

  It wasn’t fair! What had I ever done to her? I mean, besides poking her with a broom when we first met.

  Did she hate me? Was I the object of hatred?!

  “Maybe she just doesn’t realize you’re a guy, Hikaru-san!”

  “I can’t say that’s impossible, but...” Hikaru-san looked thoughtful. “You think maybe it could actually be a kind of imprinting?”

  “Buh?”

  “Or maybe she just sees you as beneath her, Shinichi-san.” Hikaru-san passed Man’ya back to Myusel as he talked.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Well, you know. Predators attack animals that look weak to them, right?”

  “That’s ridiculous!”

  Even if I did admit that two weeks as a shut-in had left me without much confidence in my muscles!

  “I can’t speak to the lizardman life cycle, but maybe she remembers you’re the first thing she ever bit, and now she thinks of you as food.”

  “That’s the worst kind of imprinting I’ve ever heard of!”

  I thought imprinting was supposed to be when baby animals assumed the first thing they saw was their mother—something cute like that, right?! What was this law-of-the-jungle stuff?!

  “How was it for us?” Cerise said.

  “’Fraid I can’t recall...” Brooke replied. I guess they wouldn’t; it was immediately after they were born.

  Unlike mammals, which fed their young with milk, lizardman babies didn’t get liquid sustenance from their parents. They had to be able to feed themselves the moment they hatched. Considering how many reptiles simply left their eggs to fend for themselves, a hunting instinct made sense. It just happened to cause her to hunt me.

  So, wait.

  Did that make me Man’ya’s first prey? Like maybe if I were fighting with someone and losing badly, she would step in and save my skin with a “Hold it. He’s my prey”? Was this a tsundere thing? No, no it wasn’t. (Fantasies inspired by far too much agitation.)

  “I can’t believe this...” I hung my head, virtually overwhelmed by the outrageousness of the situation. A wave of Man’ya moe was washing over Amutech, and I was the only one who couldn’t share in it. How lonely, to be an outcast.

  “Is that really how you feel...?” Myusel asked Man’ya doubtfully. “Gyu!” she replied, tossing her tiny hands in the air as if to make very clear that yes, yes it was.

  Breathing as quietly as possible, I gazed at Man’ya from the shadows. Did I look like a total creeper stalking some kid? Yeah, pretty much. I was no Hikaru-san, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that an incident was going to occur even if I didn’t do anything.

  “Gyu.”

  Man’ya was playing by herself in the yard. I was the only one around; everyone else was busy with work. Apparently, lizardman parenting was pretty laissez-faire, hence why Man’ya was wandering around unsupervised. They seemed to figure that as long as she didn’t go off the property, there really wasn’t anything to threaten her. Like an errant carriage that might run her over, for example.

  Man’ya seemed like a cheery baby for the most part. She pulled up some grass here, dug a little hole there, chased after some bugs, going happily from one object of interest to another.

  “Gyu?”

  Suddenly, though, she seemed to sense that she was being watched. She tilted her head quizzically. I walked out from the shadow of the tree I’d been hiding by and approached her slowly. She watched me steadily, not moving. She just kept those big, round eyes focused on me.

  “Heh...” I started to smile. Hikaru-san’s theory was that Man’ya saw me as weak, an inferior form of life, and therefore as prey. I knew how smart lizardmen were, though, and I reasoned that if I could just convince Man’ya that I was actually bigger and stronger than she was, she would reclassify me in her mental catalog.

  Now, I wasn’t planning anything crazy. I wasn’t going to attack the kid or something. I just had to show off some kind of abilities that would make her think, “Whoa, this Shinichi-san isn’t half bad!”

  And to that end...

  “Heh heh heh heh...” I chuckled, producing a hastily assembled “mu ren,” a wooden training dummy. You know the type. The vaguely humanoid wooden posts that Shaolin monks are always using for training in
movies? It had a weight at the “waist,” so even if it leaned a little from a good smack, it would come back upright.

  “Gyu?”

  Man’ya looked at me and the dummy curiously, as if to say, What’s that? I set up the post, took a couple steps back, and assumed a fighting stance. And then...

  “Hwacha!”

  One good punch. Right smack in the dummy’s face, sending it wobbling. Perfect. Great start.

  “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyahhhhhhhhh!” I followed up with a flurry of quick punches.

  It’s the Most Secret Technique of Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution of Kicking Ass!! Offense is the Best Defense Fist!! (Came up with this name on the spot.)

  The dummy swung back and forth under the fury of my blows.

  “Now I’ll finish you!” I exclaimed, coming around for a showy roundhouse kick. “Taaaake this!”

  Sheer centrifugal force slammed the dummy back. Then it must have gotten caught in some branches of the nearby bush or something, because it stopped cold at an angle of about sixty degrees.

  Good. Good.

  Satisfied, I turned to Man’ya, who had been watching my every move.

  “Guess we won’t be seeing any more of that g—urgh?!”

  Just as I was delivering a dry-cool bit of wit to close things out, the dummy came flying back up. The unexpected blow knocked me to the ground, where I sprawled right in front of Man’ya.

  Uggghh, so not cool!

  Man’ya, though, didn’t laugh at me, just looked at me with those round eyes.

  So. Uh, had I succeeded in convincing her I was strong? I brushed off some dirt and propped myself up on one knee, then reached out to her...

  “Raemu!” she exclaimed, and her teeth clamped down.

  Wow, lizardman children do learn words fast.