It feels strange at first, my throat vibrates, it aches and rasps my vocal chords, but as my belly empties, my air departs and the longest yowl comes cascading out of me, until it scratches my throat and makes me breathless, I feel alive. Like I have been holding my breath and waiting for this my whole life. I guess I have. This is what I was born to be and with the awakening, comes freedom.
I can leave.
I can run.
I can live off the land and hunt to survive. I’m no longer bound by the confines of humans in terms of getting by. Wolves can live anywhere as long as they can hunt and although we are pack animals in mentality, I’ve heard stories of isolated wolves doing fine on their own. That is what I have planned, longed, waited for and I know where I’m heading. Can finally realize my dream of leaving all of this behind me and finding my solitary peace somewhere out there. As far away from these mountains and people as I can, and never looking back.
As soon as I relax, our call stops and the energy in me fades fast. Overcome with fatigue that makes me slump back down and flake out on my belly, sighing as my body tingles and itches with a thousand little tremors. Glancing down in time to watch as everything changes back faster than I thought it would.
Fur that was keeping me warm, on paws instead of hands… it all begins to recede and unlike my transformation to beast, the reversal is not painful at all. It’s fast, almost instant and before I can blink or even get to grips with what is happening, I am nakedly human. Smeared in my own blood and flat out in a huddled heap on the floor which saves me some of my dignity by shielding my body.
I scramble to pull my body into a ball, aware I am completely uncovered and exposed to the hundreds of eyes around us. I jump when my blanket is tossed towards me by the nearby Damon, smirking as his eyes devour my nudity and I recoil. Embarrassed, ashamed, at being naked in front of everyone and mad as hell he made sure I would have to cross eight feet to get the blanket. I glare at him, forgetting myself for a moment and then ponder not going to get it and huddling up to cover myself instead.
Others were tossed theirs directly and looking around I realise I am the only one who has to go crawling for hers, like an animal. He is trying to humiliate me, and I move fast to catch it. Shocked when the slightest movement sends me shooting towards him at lightning speed and I end up almost at his feet in the blink of an eye.
“Wow” I blurt out loud and get laughed at by someone nearby as they realise how naïve I am about the speed and power we all just inherited. Another change in me I have to get used to. I grab the blanket and try and crawl backwards while pulling it over me and fall onto my back as it’s jerked tight and yanked back taut, sending my head crashing on the smooth stone below me and bouncing my skull painfully.
Damon sniggers, his foot on the edge of it as he looks down at me with complete disdain. Laughing at how much he is enjoying making a show of me and I have no choice but to try and pull the blanket from him once more. My face reddening with heat, aware of many more muffled sniggers and laughs at my expense and I can’t conceal the shame washing over me.
I know others are watching; my senses are hitched up real high and my body goosebumping all over in response. I can feel them on me from all over and I want to sink into the ground and disappear. I yank but the blanket begins to tear from the pressure nearer my end and I have no choice but to stop or be left with a scrap that will cover nothing.
“For god’s sake, Damon. This isn’t the time or place. My father is staring at you. Pack it in.” Colton snarls his way, pushes him from behind and comes into view, shoving him off the blanket and swoops down to pick it up with speed. He walks forward in two confident strides and hands it straight to me, bending lightly as he does so to make sure I get it without any more interference. I know he’s only doing it to save face, exert his dominance in front of his father and save Damon from punishment later. Either way I’m for the first time ever, thankful for him and relieved he is an Alpha in the making.
I reach out and take it gratefully, quickly pulling it around me and hiding what’s on show, afraid to really look at him, but it’s almost impulsive as his hand, still attached to the corner, briefly touches my shoulder in passing because of how speedy I am. Hot searing flash runs through my body alarmingly, igniting something tingly inside of me that I can’t identify. Like being zapped by a low strength taser and I gasp at the contact, glancing up at him as he attempts to rise to standing, seemingly also recoiling for what was maybe just an electric shock. For one brief millisecond of synchronized surprise, our eyes lock ….
It’s all it takes.
One second of direct focus, a meeting of eyes I have never dared to look into before and the worst thing in the world happens to me. We connect; visions, images, projections start flowing through my mind at neck breaking speed that fries my brain and I cannot break his gaze or look away. Startled into silence, locked in, and unable to fight what happens. My body rigid and paralyzed, controlled by this higher force as we’re forcefully held, trapped in an intense stare down and his dark, almost black eyes eat into my soul.
His memories, my memories, his fears, my fears. They become a jumbling mass of zooming information, flooding, invading my mind, and overtaking me as I’m body slammed with an overwhelming amount of emotions, in literal seconds, that could potentially zap your brain to death.
My body, my heart, my soul, all pulled into this flash of breath, which completely spins my world on tilt and changes everything instantaneously. Rooted to the spot, aware only of the darkest chocolate eyes on mine, unable to break frees yet marooned like I suddenly found home and his gaze goes from sworn enemy to lifeline in my darkness. Neither of us can do anything in our paralysed state but let it happen, until the wild ride of transferring all we are, we know, we feel, is done and we are left shellshocked from the fall out.
Breathless, reeling from the invasion of his life, his memories, his history, pouring into my shocked memory banks, I finally snap out and fall backwards in a slump. Released from whatever the hell that was and momentarily dazed. Fully incapable of any kind of movement as I lay on the ground, startled into silence and lightheaded from what felt like a physical assault.
“Holy shit” Colton’s voice waves my way, sounding equally shocked and as breathless as me, and I strain up to see him, also on the ground. On his knees though, looking like someone just sucker punched him in the stomach, and he falls forward to drop his palms on the ground to hold him steady. Eyes wide, skin pale, unusually for his normal tanned hue. He looks like someone just told him the worst news he ever wanted to hear in his life and he’s reeling in the aftermath. Around us is complete and utter silence, like a pin could drop and be heard right now and I have no idea what to think.
“They just imprinted” one solo voice squeaks out, and echoes around us like someone announcing a death sentence.
“No, that’s can’t have happened…” another, moments later…. and then another, and another. The voices blending and blurring as my fingers find my skull and I start scrubbing my head to get my brain to start functioning. To figure out what just happened to me. The mutterings of one or two become many, deafening as they all begin to verbalise their questions at what they just saw.
Me? I did what?... No. It can’t be.
I lay here, dumbfounded, and trying to pull my thoughts together, unsure why I now know how he likes his coffee, or his favourite song, or why I suddenly can’t get the strong scent of him out of my nostrils, or the need to get up and go hug him, out of my brain. The crazy primal urge to get up and go sit on him and do things I never wanted to do before, or even a few seconds ago. It’s like every part of my soul is suddenly attuned to him, even though he’s feet away.
I lay back down and try to breathe through the oncoming panic, trying to rationalize what this was as I draw in air with shallow breaths and try and let my body recover from the huge zap he gave me.
“Silence!” Juan Santo demands with a venomous tone, echoing around the mount
ain and like a sudden clap of thunder, his voice halts the rest of the chaotic noise, giving me some relief before my brain explodes.
He storms towards us and physically drags his son up by the shoulder from his slumped position. Gripping and hauling him like a madman and angrily turning to face him once on his feet, raw anger erupting all over.
“Tell me you didn’t!” He demands at him in a cruel tone, but Colton seems as spangled as me. Knocked sideways and unsure what the hell just happened to us. His normally confident stance is loose, and he seems unsteady on his own legs.
“I don’t know what that was… I’ve never …. I don’t know!” His cocky, dominant tone is lacking too, and I can feel his eyes back on me as I struggle to sit up, pulling myself into a sitting ball and finally have the courage to stare at them.
As soon as I meet Colton’s eyes again that same jolt hits me in my heart and stomach like a massive thud and I know this isn’t anything else. Heard enough about it to know what it is. Saw it happen to others. The need to go over and wrap myself in his arms, the longing way we stop and gaze at one another as urge blots out sense and beast overtakes human reasoning. He stares at me with the same instinctual longing I find myself throwing his way, the unspoken need to walk towards him and touch each other.
We just imprinted and the Fates gave me my mate.
Colton Santo is my destined alpha, the wolf that I’m meant to spend eternity with and follow him wherever he goes. Until the end of time. He’s my path set in stone, my lover, my life, the father to my future offspring.
And I can’t imagine anything worse.
The Fallout
Everything happens so fast that my heads spins and I can barely catch my breath. Our imprinting sends the ceremony into quick disperse and I’m dragged away by Santo’s pack and ushered into an awaiting car, my clothes thrown in my face and ordered to go to the pack house and be quiet.
Everything is in uproar as though I committed the crime of the century and it rippled through everyone present. Juan exploded magnificently at the possibility that our future Alpha just got betrothed to one of the lowliest of the packs, and I’m not exactly happy about it either.
I’ve kept my head down for ten years, stayed out of sight, in the shadows and away from drama the way others like me have not. Became almost invisible and made no real friends, all with my eye on one goal of escaping this place without any noise. Only to be put on show on the most important night of my life, in front of the entire mountain and have everything come crashing down on top of me.
This can’t be happening! I can barely breathe as the panic sets in that this is not god damn reversable, and not a small thing that can get brushed aside and me sent on my merry way. Imprinting is for life, there is only one way out, and that’s death!
That is NOT an option for me. We can choose to walk away and ignore it, but the bond won’t break and the urge to bind us together will only grow stronger if we fight it. That’s how this works, everyone knows that. If I leave, I’ll crave for him for the rest of my life, until it pushes me to insanity or even death from a broken soul. If I stay, then I’ll never be able to fight the need to be with him and Juan made that excruciatingly clear that it will never happen.
Bustled from car to dark alley and only given seconds to pull my clothes on under my blanket before I am forcibly pushed in a side door and almost fall flat on my face into a bright corridor. The men charged with bringing me here are being less than hospitable with their shoving me around and manhandling me cruelly. I feel like I’m covered in bruises and I still have residue blood over my body and face. I ‘ooft’ at the impact of meeting hard floor, body already tired and weak from what I endured tonight.
I’m still reeling from the drugs and the first transformation of my life, on edge, hackles rising, and having to deal with this new trauma of semi kidnapping. I feel like I’m trapped in some sort of daymare and just want to wake up before I have an all-out freak out.
We are met by a tall familiar attractive blonde in the hall as she stalks towards me and without missing a beat, she slaps me hard across the face and sends my flying off my feet and skidding into the wall. Burning pain engulfing my cheek and eye socket as I groan it out, and spreads across my head and down my neck, rendering me senseless for a second. Slightly dazed with the force of that bitch’s assault as I try to pick myself back up but fail when a foot stomps on my spine to force me back down.
“How dare you!! How god damn dare you, you whore! He’s mine… we have dated for two years, and you think you can sweep in and take him!! You are a god damn nothing, and you have no rights to him!” she’s livid. Puce with rage and comes bearing down on me, climbing on top of me while winding her fingers around my throat like a crazed psycho. In my panic I lash back to defend myself, but she’s bigger and stronger and the glow of amber in her eyes tell me she’s on the verge of turning. She’s another of the pack who turned young and has her gifts well under control while I haven’t begin to explore mine yet. “I’ll kill you before I see you take him from me” her grasp tightens and I try to claw at her face, struggling for breath, panicking, momentary blacking out before she is hauled from on top of me by two strong arms and lifted high up into the air.
“Enough! She didn’t do this anymore than I did!” Colton’s voice cuts through her hysterical squealing and he drops her on her feet away from me. Standing between her and me as he turns to her and tries to reason and shut her up. His whole body taut and alert, as though he’s ready to take her on, and I’m not sure it won’t go that way. Females when angry tend to turn and attack, even people they love. It’s how disputes are resolved most of the time among wolves. Physical fights are the norm, even between mates. “Go home Carmen, let us deal with this. The elders and the Shaman are coming with my father. Just go and let us figure this out.” He sounds pissed, that deep commanding tone, so like his father’s, only with a boyish edge.
“Why can’t they just kill her and be done with it? She’s nothing to the pack” she wails at him, desperately, the noise prickling at my ears so I wince in reaction with an ‘ahhh’ and grasp to cover them, and I wonder if this is a new thing with my senses. Hearing things more painfully.
“Are you dense? …. Killing her will kill me. Hurting her, hurts me! Even a slap! We imprinted; we are one. Her soul, my soul… did you never pay attention in class?” He sounds as mad as her now and he throws a look back down at me, cowering on the floor, dazed and in shock, about the turn of events. Not mentally ready for any of this.
“Here” he turns, a softness changing his handsome face slightly, making him more appealing, less cold, and he extends a hand to help me up. It’s the first time I ever saw any real humanity in this guy, and it renders me mute as I let him pull me to my feet. That heat and transference of sparks at the slight touch makes me jump, and that familiar urge to need more of him, want his touch, makes me pull my hand away quickly. Internally bristling and inhaling fast to cool the sudden heat that rides up my neck and face. Blushing, I look away to break contact.
He frowns at the sensation too and backs off as soon as he lets me go, obviously uneasy at how much chemistry is stirring up from something so simple. It’s not a secret him and Carmen have been a steady thing for a long time, so I guess he feels like this is somehow cheating on her. She watches like a hawk; I can feel her hatred burning through my soul and wishing harm on me. The sting on my face tells me she probably left a handprint and I try not to glare her way and enrage another outburst.
“I swear to god, Cole….” Her voice breaks and tears spring from her eyes, instantly dampening her cheeks. “If you leave me for this little, reject…” For a second, the pure heartbreak in her tone gets at me, cutting me in the chest, and I’m a little sorry for her. Not really knowing what love feels like, or what this would do to my heart if it was me. I guess a slap isn’t comparable to a devastated soul and the thought of losing someone you thought was your mate.
That stupid part of me that cares, w
hether I should or not, and I find myself staring at the floor guiltily as though somehow accepting I’ve done something wrong here. I feel ashamed.
“Be quiet. Go home and I’ll talk to you later. Right now, we are nothing until this gets rectified. I can’t have two mates. You know the laws.” It’s the edge in his tone that signals him executing his dominance and she recoils quickly, knowing when not to question or argue, even if her face gives away the pain in what he said. Alpha’s have a tone, reserved for times when pack animals won’t obey. It somehow renders us mute and makes us do what is asked of us and this is one of those times. Even I tremble at the effect it has on everyone present and have to stop myself from slinking back into the shadows. Not every male has the gift, only those who were born to lead.
“Alora? That’s your name, right?” Colton turns to me, surprising me with the change, those chocolate eyes melting me when we connect and I have to look away again, too pulled towards him for my own liking and nod shyly. No control over his effect on me and I don’t like this one bit. Freedom was calling to me, and now this, annoying unfightable desire to be wrapped around the one guy I never wanted to know.
“Or Lorey… I get called both.” It’s a feeble quiet mumble and I inwardly curse myself out for sounding as weak as his pack always labelled me. It’s no wonder they cast my bloodline to the reject pile. I’m no match for an alpha.
Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.
It’s his voice in my head and I flicker up, startled that he spoke to me inside my mind and not verbally. We’re not supposed to be able to do that when both in human form, and especially not when we’re not from the same pack.
Awakening: Book 1 Page 3