Daughter of the Song

by Eliza Tilton

She hugged me tight. “I’m sorry.”

  Holding her in my arms, I kissed the top of her head. There were no words to describe how she kept me together.

  I wished it was enough.

  Chapter 13

  Arabella

  Wetness coated my face, a sticky, uncomfortable foam.

  Rufus . . . Opening my eyes, I heaved the massive sheepdog off my chest. His tongue hung out, and he seemed much too chipper for the morning. “What are you so excited about?”

  He barked and licked my already wet cheek.

  “Oh, good, you’re up.” Mother strolled in dressed in her finest tea wear, every auburn curl perfectly placed. She drew the curtains open, and I groaned.

  “Must you let in all the light?” I hid my head under the blanket.

  Her weight sank onto the bed next to me and she placed a hand on my side. “How are you feeling?”

  Pulling the covers off, I told tell her only a half truth. “Better than last night.”

  Mother’s eyes were red, and though she had powder and rouge to cover the puffiness, she’d been crying long and hard.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Of course, dear.” She gave me that too-forced smile. “Would you like to come with me to tea?”

  I remembered my conversation with Leo. “I’d like to go back to the gardens. It’s peaceful there.”

  “Edgard could take you there then.”

  If I wanted any privacy with Leo, Edgard had to be far away. “It’s all right. Mr. Kerup, the caretaker, is there. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind watching me. Couldn’t you drop me off on the way?”

  She pursed her lips. My mother feared for me, but the wildness in her also lived in me.

  “What if Nan comes with me?”

  “Nan has her own duties.”

  I grabbed Mother’s hands and squeezed. “Please, Momma, just for a bit.”

  She rolled her eyes and hugged me. “If your father is okay with it, then yes, you can go.”

  Giddiness bubbled in my chest, and when Mother left the room, I squealed into my pillow.

  “I’m going to see Leo again,” I whispered into Rufus’s ear.

  One of his ears perked up. Humming, I slid off the bed and checked on Falsetto. He chirped as I petted his head. Out the window, the day was bright and warm, not a cloud in the sky. The perfect day to spend outside with the flowers.

  Then I remembered.

  I remembered what happened yesterday. Not the soft touches and sweet words, but death. Guilt washed over me. I spent my morning thinking of how nice an afternoon with Leo would be, and he was telling his family about his father.

  I’m an awful person. Just awful.

  Out of respect for Leo, I decided on a dark-navy cotton day dress with dark-blue silk-covered buttons that trailed down the bodice in a perfect line. The sleeves reached to arm’s length, like all my dresses. It was easier than having to explain the scars.

  How horrible, miss. What happened?

  Are they all over your body?

  There’s this tonic you should try. Stings a bit, but it’s sure to work.

  Everyone with their opinions and questions. Sometimes, I would forget. I would be having a wonderful day, and then someone would notice a scar, and every ache and fear would come rushing back.

  The people in Wales were much politer than in London. Yes, our new acquaintances saw the scars, but they were kind enough not to say anything, except Leo, but I didn’t mind when he asked.

  With my dress firmly fastened, I kissed my friends goodbye and then walked downstairs. A beam of sunlight poured in from a nearby window, casting light on the oil painting of Mrs. Garrison. She had dainty features and lips red as the roses she’d loved so much. I wanted to read more of her diary and discover what happened to her.

  If her husband loved her as he’d said he did, why wouldn’t he have searched for her? The whole situation was very mysterious.

  Leaving the painting behind, I found Father and Mother eating breakfast in the sitting room.

  “You look well,” Father said with a smile. “How’s that leg?”

  “Very well. Thank you.”

  Father winked and continued reading the tome always by his side. The old black book had thick pages, and a silver emblem adorned the cover. Father and Edgard had inquired everywhere about the emblem, and no one had any knowledge of the origin or if they did, they refused to discuss it.

  “Did Mother talk to you about the gardens?” I sat on the nearby settee and took a warm butter biscuit from the breakfast tray.

  “Yes. I’ve got some reading to do. How about I join you?”

  While I didn’t think Father would be upset if Leo arrived, Father would most certainly not leave us unchaperoned after the horror that happened yesterday. “Really, Father. Nan could come. I’d like to just . . . have some quiet time, alone.”

  “Very well.” He sighed while eyeing mother, who avoided his gaze to examine the crumbs of biscuit left on her plate. “I’ll take you there, but I will not enter the gardens.”

  I glanced around to find my brother. After last night, I feared he wouldn’t let me venture anywhere alone. My brother was one of the strongest people in my life. Seeing him cry last night when he’d returned home destroyed me.

  “You could’ve died down there, and we never would’ve known,” Edgard said. “I never would’ve known what happened.”

  Eating the biscuit, I thought on how upset I made everyone last night, thankful Leo had already left before they arrived. I never meant to make them worry. They’d all been through enough. Once my father decoded the tome and found the origins of the cult and what their plans were, we might all finally be free of this nightmare.

  While Father kissed mother goodbye, I sneaked an extra biscuit for the cat. Perhaps if I was nice, he’d tell me all of Mrs. Garrison’s secrets.

  Father put on a hat and guided me outside to the wagon. I got in beside him, thankful for the warm day.

  I caught a glimpse of Edgard riding to the house as father pulled the horses in the opposite direction. My heart tugged toward my brother. Father waved, but I couldn’t find the strength to do the same, because across the rolling grass my brother’s gaze was full of questions and accusations about where I was headed, why I was leaving, and couldn’t I just stay home like a good girl.

  After the kidnapping, Edgard refused to let me go anywhere, ever. At first I agreed, but after a month, I wanted to see my friends . . . and even that wasn’t allowed. It caused many arguments until finally Father said we were moving here, away from the past. He’d needed time to decipher the tome, and he couldn’t do that with all the tension in the house.

  Father stopped the wagon in front of the mill. The old wheel pushed water out and over like a churning waterfall. The perfect backdrop to the gardens.

  “I’m going to the greenhouse.” I climbed out of the wagon, not like a lady should.

  The keeper waved at Father, and the two started talking. I wished society didn’t dictate that I “must be chaperoned.” When I opened the greenhouse door, the sweet air filled my nostrils. I sighed and smiled.

  In the far back, the tabby spread out on the swing, tail flopping off the side. I kneeled in front of the snoozing cat, took out the butter biscuit, and held it by his nose.

  “I’ve brought a treat.”

  He wiggled his whiskers back and forth and lifted his head as his eyes opened. I broke off a piece and placed it on the cushion in front of him. Tabby, who needed a proper name, took one lick of the biscuit and went back to sleeping.

  “Picky, huh? Very well.”

  I reached under the swing, to the place I’d hidden the diary, and fumbled around until my fingers grazed the book. “Got you.”

  I wanted to read it again, but I’d promised Leo we would read it together. With the diary in
hand, I left the greenhouse and found an iron bench to sit on while I waited for Leo to arrive. I hadn’t told him where to meet me, only how to find the gardens.

  With the sun high, and the sky clear, the rays beamed directly on my face, and I instantly regretted wearing a dark dress. Sweat clung to the back of my neck, and my throat ached for water. There wasn’t a drinking fountain in the gardens, possibly in the greenhouse, but I didn’t want to move from this spot. The bench sat right in the center area by the front gate. Once Leo arrived, we’d get a drink together.

  But he didn’t.

  He never came.

  Could I blame him?

  More than one hour had passed. The nearby sun showed the time, and my heart sank further. The gate opened, and I straightened with anticipation, only to have it crumble with disappointment.

  “I brought you water.” Father handed me a glass. “Why are you sitting out here? It’s sweltering.”

  I eagerly gulped the water.

  “Whoa, little bird. I’ll get you more.”

  “Thank you,” I said while giving him the glass. “Have you been here the whole time?”

  “Of course. I couldn’t right leave you, but I did not enter the gardens.” Father’s triumphant smile did nothing to settle the sadness.

  “Did you see anyone?”

  He crossed his arms. “No, should I have?”

  I lifted my chin high and stood. “If you haven’t seen anyone pass by, this place is safe then. It’s just an observation.”

  “All right.” Father held out his arm, and I took it. “You and your mother are alike. I know you want to be free, but besides what happened, you are still a young lady, and there’s etiquette we must uphold.”

  “I understand, Daddy.”

  My father’s face clenched with the name I always used when I was upset. He leaned over to kiss the top of my head before guiding us to the wagon.

  I didn’t know what made me feel worse.

  The fact Leo didn’t come today or that I truly believed he would.

  Chapter 14

  Arabella

  Three days passed without word from Leo. Today, the port was holding a funeral for the miners. The explosion in the mines killed seven men, including Leo’s father. Only three bodies were recovered.

  Nan tightened my bodice, and with each pull, another tear fell.

  “Don’t worry, miss. I’m sure Master Leo is fine. You’ll see today.”

  With all my crying, I had to confide in someone. Nan only knew pieces of what happened in the mines. “With all the rain, I had no excuse to go see him or inquire in town about him.”

  “The boy has been through a lot. Give him time. You’ll see.” She tied the bodice and then guided me to sit at the vanity.

  With a soft touch, she took my long hair in her hands and pinned the front pieces in a bun, leaving only the back to hang. I watched our reflection in the mirror, staring at my red nose and how my rosy cheeks magnified each freckle. Yet, dark circles covered my eyes from the restless nights I’ve had.

  I wanted to do something special for the families that would be there today, Father had suggested I sing. Since I didn’t have any other ideas, I begrudgingly agreed. While I loved all music, it had been awhile since I’d sung in public. Mother and I practiced the hymn, over and over, until I knew every word by heart.

  Edgard knocked on the door. His hair tucked away under a black hat, and his matching pin-striped suit, reminded me of Father. “It’s time to go.”

  I grabbed the bouquet of white roses I’d handpicked from the garden. Nan followed me downstairs where Mother and Father were standing by the door. Mother’s hair had been pinned up like mine, under a dark bonnet with black lace fringe. Her black gown bustled out behind her, and even dressed in misery, she was still the most beautiful woman in the world. Edgard held out his arm as Father took Mother’s. We walked outside to where our driver, Jacob, waited by the carriage. He tipped his hat and opened the door. Mother stepped in first, and I followed.

  When I sat beside her, she took my left hand and grasped it tightly. I glanced over at the pearls around her neck, and her saddened face. While none of us personally knew the miners who had died, we grieved for the loss none the less.

  Father rapped on the side to let Jacob know we were ready.

  The carriage rolled onto the road, mimicking the dark clouds in the sky. My stomach churned, and I wished I’d eaten the peach cake Nan offered earlier. I was part nervous to sing and even more nervous to see Leo. I wanted to know how his family faired, and why he never sent word to me.

  Am I wrong to be selfish? To want to see him again?

  Since I’d arrived at Port Tablo, I hadn’t made a friend, not that there weren’t nice girls, but I didn’t want to explain my past. How could any of the girls here understand the horrors I suffered, or the monsters I saw?

  Beyond friendship, Leo stirred emotions I never thought I’d be able to feel. When he touched me, something inside my heart glowed. It pained me to know he lost his father and nothing I could say or do would change that.

  We turned onto a graveled road where other carriages were parked. Due to the extent of tragedy the town faced, the mayor had decided to have one ceremony for all the families. Each miner would be buried afterward.

  My heart beat faster with every step. Mother kept her hand in mine until we’d traveled all the way to the front where the families were gathered. I scanned the sea of black for Leo, but my limited height didn’t help. A priest stood on a makeshift, wooden podium. Whispers crowded the space around us, and with everyone standing so close, I leaned into Mother. Edgard appeared on my right and patted my back.

  “You’ll do great. It’ll mean a lot to them,” he said while leaning near my ear.

  “Thank you.”

  He winked and turned his attention back to the priest.

  After what felt like hours but must’ve only been minutes, the priest began his eulogy. Even standing on my tiptoes, I couldn’t see much. There were too many men and women all dressed in the same tragic black.

  Where is he?

  Cries, sniffles, and a few groans filled in the pauses between the priest’s words. Mother sniffled beside me. I squeezed her hand in reassurance.

  “And now we have a dear gift from Miss Arabella Grace, who is going to sing the hymn We Shall Sleep, but Not ForEver.”

  “That’s you, kid.” Edgard smiled while escorting me to the podium.

  I gripped the roses in one hand and held my dress in the other. The priest stood aside, and I took a deep breath to steady myself.

  You can do this. They need something. Oh, Lord, let this song give them peace.

  Focusing on the roses, I opened my mouth and released the words into the air.

  We shall sleep, but not forever,

  There will be a glorious dawn!

  We shall meet to part, no, never,

  On the resurrection morn!

  From the deepest cave of ocean,

  From the desert and the plain,

  From the valley and the mountain,

  Countless throngs shall rise again.

  The lyrics poured out as I lifted my eyes to the crowd. I almost paused when I saw him.

  Leo stood in the front, two women on either side, one older that must have been his mother, the other his sister. Both were crying. He had an arm looped with each and stood like a statue holding them together. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, and his beautiful golden skin had lost all luster. I sang the chorus, holding his gaze in mine. His brow was stitched tight, and I wondered what he thought on.

  A woman began balling during the song. I pushed through the emotion and let the notes build and build until I broke into the second chorus and projected it all out.

  We shall sleep, but not forever,

  There will be a glorious dawn!

  We shall me
et, to part, no, never,

  On the resurrection morn!

  A group of men in the back joined in with their baritone voices, blending the moment into perfect synchronicity. Leo’s gaze never strayed away from me. I wanted to reach out to him with the song and soothe his soul. When tears streamed his stoic face, my heart clenched.

  I belted out the last few lines, singing with every emotion inside.

  Death could never, never come!

  In His own good time He’ll call us,

  From our rest, to home, sweet home.

  When the song ended, there was a mix of clapping and tears. Leo released the hold with his family to wipe his eyes. His mother whispered in his ear while she clapped, and his sister cried onto his shoulder.

  My own tears fought to fall, but I rushed off the podium before I cried. Edgard waited there to escort me back. He wiped one eye with the corner of his finger.

  “I’ll never get over how beautiful you can sing. You were great.” He smiled, and we headed back to sit beside Mother and Father.

  Mother opened her arms and wrapped me in them. Only when my face was hidden did I cry. She rubbed my back and clutched me tightly as I gripped the roses still in my hand, thankful I’d removed all the thorns.

  The priest finished the ceremony and mentioned a gathering at the pavilion in town where the mayor, shop owners, and other townsfolk had provided food for the families.

  But before we left, I needed to see Leo.

  “I’m going to see if they need help with the burials,” Father said.

  “I’ll go too,” Edgard added.

  “Have Jacob take you two home and come back here for Edgard and myself when he’s done.”

  Mother nodded. “Be careful. There’s a storm coming.”

  As if she spoke it into existence, thunder boomed in the sky. The crowd dispersed, heading in different directions. To the left, I spotted Leo walking with his family.

  “I’ll be right back,” I told Mother, grabbing my skirt.