Weight of Everything

by Anna Wineheart

  Phoenix pointed. “Kitchen’s there.”

  Ulric hurried off. Gage was tempted to follow him just to see if he’d be fine. But Ulric seemed to have things under control now—so Gage poured himself a drink at the bar, taking a seat awkwardly at an unoccupied couch.

  “My name’s Gage. I’m a personal trainer at Meadowfall Fitness,” Gage began. “If you encounter any sports-related injuries, or if you’d like to develop an exercise routine, I might be able to help.”

  Like hell Phoenix or King would come to him for help. They probably had their own doctors on speed dial. Gage felt silly for even saying it, but he didn’t know what else these guys would be interested in.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” Nate gave him a thumbs-up.

  Phoenix looked Gage in the eye, nodding at the kitchen. “Are you and the other kid a thing?”

  Well, that was awkward.

  “There’s a security camera at the gate,” Nate explained. “Phinny and I were trying to figure out who you were, until King told us.”

  So... they’d seen Gage kissing Ulric, then. Ulric would be so embarrassed. Feeling bad for him, Gage said, “He’s a really good friend of mine. I moved in with him recently.”

  “Ah.” Phoenix smiled. Then he seemed thoughtful, and Gage knew he was trying to guess which of them bottomed for the other. Like sex was already a given.

  Truth be told... Gage had been getting curious, himself. He’d glimpsed a movie folder on Ulric’s TV, one that had been named Misc. The thumbnails in that folder had been flesh-colored.

  He’d never asked to peek inside. Maybe he should.

  Then he imagined Ulric jerking off, and his cock thickened. Definitely not the right time for this.

  “Ulric’s actually the sweetest alpha,” Gage said. “He’s a data analyst for big pharma, and he’s not available for dates.”

  Gage scowled at Phoenix, just in case Phoenix had ideas. He figured he should protect Ulric from someone famous.

  But Phoenix only laughed. “How cute!”

  He pulled out a cigarette box; Nate made a face. “Must you?”

  “My house,” Phoenix said, lighting up. “Sit out in the lawn if it bothers you.”

  Nate chuckled.

  “I like that brand,” Gage said.

  Both Phoenix and Nate looked at him in surprise; Phoenix offered him a stick. “Really? Gym rat like you?”

  Gage declined. “Nah, I don’t smoke. But it reminds me of when my dad brought us to the Christmas markets—there would always be a few smokers around, and it was always this scent. Just gives me the warm fuzzy feelings.”

  Phoenix laughed, blowing a puff of smoke into the air. “I think I like you.”

  Ulric had been walking back with his casserole dish; he froze when Phoenix spoke, looking quickly between Gage and the singer. Did he think Gage had been flirting with Phoenix while he was gone?

  Unwilling to let Ulric believe that, Gage stood, taking the casserole dish from him. Then he kissed Ulric on the cheek. “Only you,” Gage whispered.

  Ulric flushed so red, Gage thought he might’ve turned around and fled.

  “Wow,” King said. “Have you proposed?”

  What? Gage leaned back; Ulric scrambled away, wide-eyed.

  “Nothing’s going on,” Ulric said.

  “We’re best friends,” Gage added.

  King broke into a laugh. “You know, we might just have to invite you guys over the next time.”

  “Seconded.” Nate raised his glass.

  Phoenix just smiled like a sly cat.

  “Anyway, the ribs,” Gage said. He sliced them up and dished them, and King all but inhaled his share. Nate did, too. Phoenix was finally convinced to try a piece.

  The rack of ribs disappeared a lot faster than Gage expected—by the end of it, Ulric looked relieved, almost happy. Gage touched the small of his back. It seemed that Ulric liked these neighbors a lot better than his previous ones. That was good.

  An hour later, when Ulric looked ready to leave, Gage linked their fingers together. “I think we should start heading back,” Gage said.

  Ulric smiled, squeezing his hand.

  “Aw,” Phoenix said.

  “Shh.” Nate shook his head. “You know what they say—a watched pot doesn’t boil.”

  Phoenix flipped him off. “Yes, Professor Nate,” he muttered in the most sarcastic tone. “I’ve never heard that in my entire life.”

  Gage decided that he should get Ulric out of here, before Ulric fainted from blushing so much. He tugged Ulric to the door; King followed them.

  For a second, Gage thought about asking King for a selfie—his siblings would be thrilled. But was that out of line? By inviting Gage and Ulric to the get-together, King had already done them a favor.

  “King,” Ulric said suddenly. “If it isn’t too much to ask, could you sign on my shirt? Something really cheesy. I know someone who’d really like it.”

  King laughed. “Sure.”

  While Ulric fumbled around for a pen, King disappeared into the house, returning a moment later with a marker. “What sort of message would you like?”

  Ulric shrugged. “Something weird? What about ‘With lots of crazy love’? Or anything, really. It’s up to you.”

  Gage bit down his smile. Damn, Ulric. You beat me to it.

  King scribbled on Ulric’s shoulder blade. Then he signed off and clapped Ulric on the back. “Done.”

  “Thanks.” Ulric looked immensely grateful. “I can’t thank you enough for inviting us over. It was an honor.”

  King met their gaze. “We’re brothers on this street. Happy to find more family.”

  Gage was only living temporarily with Ulric, and Ulric was just renting the place they were in. But if this somehow became a permanent sort of brotherhood... that would be sweet. It’d feel like a home away from home.

  Mostly, Gage wondered how long he’d be living with Ulric here on Meadow Street. How long he had before things inevitably fell apart, like all his friendships and relationships tended to go.

  They bade King goodbye, heading back to Ulric’s place. On the way, Gage slipped his arm around Ulric, pulling him closer. Ulric was soft against him, warm. And Gage couldn’t help eyeing the autograph on Ulric’s shoulder. With loads of love, King had written.

  “You have a damn big pair,” Gage said.

  “Pair of what?”

  “Balls.” Gage laughed. Were this any other alpha friend, Gage would’ve reached down and grabbed those balls to weigh them, right then and there. With Ulric... things were a bit different. Maybe Gage would do it later.

  “They aren’t that big.” Ulric glanced down. Then he grinned. “Anyway, I didn’t get that autograph for myself. It’s for you.”

  “Me?” Gage stared. “He’s Phil-fucking-O’Riley. You sure you don’t want to keep that?”

  Ulric shrugged. “I didn’t even know who he was until you said it. And I saw the way you looked at him, Gage. It’s worth a lot more to you.”

  A huge wave of fondness swelled through Gage’s chest. He pulled Ulric closer and kissed his shoulder, and Ulric’s smile grew.

  When they’d both stepped into the house, Ulric shrugged out of his shirt. “There.”

  Then he scrunched it into a ball, crammed it against Gage’s face, and slipped away. Gage breathed in a lungful of honey oak. “Hey! Ulric.”

  By the time he pulled the shirt off his face, Ulric was already halfway up the stairs. “I’m getting another shirt,” Ulric said. “Be right back.”

  “What other shirt? You don’t need one, stud muffin.”

  Ulric snorted. “Yeah, right. You’re the stud, and I’m the muffin.”

  Well, maybe. But he was an adorable muffin. Gage hurried up the stairs, following Ulric into his bedroom. Then he launched himself at Ulric and took him down, pinning him roughly against the mattress. “You’re so fucking adorable,” Gage growled, kissing Ulric’s shoulder. His hands wandered up Ulric’s sides. “The way you were
scared earlier, I didn’t think you’d ask King for his autograph.”

  Ulric stiffened beneath him. “I wasn’t scared. And I need a shirt. Get off.”

  Gage hummed, sliding his palms up Ulric’s chest, cupping his pecs. They were nice, actually. There was muscle beneath his curves—you just couldn’t see it straightaway. “Nah. No need for a shirt.” He found Ulric’s nipples, pinching them.

  Ulric sucked in a sharp breath. “What’re you doing?”

  “Trying to see if you’re different from me. Not really.”

  Ulric snorted. “Maybe you need to open your eyes, Gage.”

  “Maybe you need to close yours.”

  Gage wrapped his arms around Ulric, holding him close. This felt nice. Comfortable. And Gage couldn’t help looking at the tiny spots of ink on Ulric’s shoulder, left over from King’s black marker. When they’d first left to go to Phinny’s place, Gage had wondered if Ulric would freak out. He’d come up with all these excuses to get Ulric home.

  “What happened with your previous neighbors?” Gage murmured.

  “Nothing.”

  “Ulric.” Gage kissed his nape. “Tell me.”

  Ulric was quiet for a long moment. Then he sighed. “My mom always told me I should dress up real nice whenever I walk down the street, because no one wants to see me like this.” He gestured at his belly. “She said she couldn’t face her neighbors because I’m so overweight.”

  “What the fuck?” Anger rippled through Gage. “Your mother said that to you?”

  Ulric shrugged, his ears turning pink. “Anyway.”

  “No. That isn’t all of it, is it?” The way Ulric was self-conscious, the way he kept comparing himself to Gage... That wasn’t normal for an alpha. “What else did she say?”

  Ulric pushed his face against the mattress. “Nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing.”

  His silence said so much.

  “I want to know,” Gage murmured. “I promise I will never laugh at you.”

  Ulric sighed, bringing his arms up around his head, as though he was trying to protect himself. “You’ve never had your friends laugh at you for being out of shape, have you? Every grade, every new school... it’s the same. Sometimes they threw trash at me. Sometimes I had awful notes shoved into my locker. Sometimes they stole my lunches as a joke. I didn’t get an allowance, so those days, I was hungry all the way until I got home.”

  Gage’s heart ached for him. “Did you tell anyone?”

  Ulric shrugged. “My mom said I deserved it.”

  “What the fuck?”

  “She tried everything to get me to lose weight. Like diets and after-school exercise programs. She tried piling my dinner plate with boiled vegetables only, but she and my dad had actual food on their plates. The veggies were so bad, I—I cried. I was pretty young at that point. Then she started telling me that no one would ever love me because I’m—”

  He stopped talking, but Gage heard the words Ulric didn’t say, he heard Ulric’s heartbreak, and the broken, unloved bits of his past.

  Then, so quietly that Gage almost didn’t hear him, Ulric added, “I mean, it’s true.”

  Gage stopped breathing, his heart squeezing tight. He didn’t know which was worse: that Ulric had grown up in such a terrible environment, or that Ulric believed no one could love him because of how he looked. That Ulric hadn’t been loved until now.

  Gage touched Ulric’s throat, his heart pounding so hard he couldn’t hear himself think. It wasn’t fair that Ulric thought all that crap about himself. Ulric was gentle and sweet, he was cuddly and so easily flustered.

  “Who the fuck wouldn’t love you?” Gage growled, angry with everything. He’d grown up poor, but at least he had an awesome family, at least he had parents who had been supportive of the things he did.

  And here Ulric was—Gage didn’t know if Ulric had any family nearby. Ulric sure didn’t sound like he had friends.

  “Tell you what,” Gage said, his chest burning. “I’m gonna be your best friend forever. I swear.”

  Ulric turned, looking warily at Gage over his shoulder. “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to.” Gage leaned heavily into him, wrapping his arms around Ulric. “I don’t care where we go from here, and I don’t care if I have to move away or things like that. You can tell me anything, and I’ll listen.”

  Ulric stared, still disbelieving. “Why?”

  “Because.” Gage hugged him tighter, so tight that their bodies were pressed flush together, his jaw against Ulric’s naked back. “Everyone needs a friend.”

  “You don’t need me.”

  “You need me,” Gage whispered. And he dragged the scent gland on his wrist down Ulric’s arm, leaving a trail of pine. People usually reserved that scent marking for bondmates. Gage didn’t have one. But a best friend was important, too. Enough that he wanted to mark Ulric as his own. “There. That’s my promise.”

  Ulric sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes growing wide. “But that’s—”

  Gage kissed his back. “See, I don’t care what you look like. I mean, I care, but you look fine to me.”

  “I don’t look great,” Ulric muttered.

  “Then do something about it. But it’s not something I need you to do. I’ll be here regardless.” Gage snuggled against him, holding him tight, trying to convince him that he was perfect just the way he was.

  “Let me—” Ulric swallowed. “Let me think about it.”

  “Okay.” Gage brushed his knuckles along Ulric’s jaw, stroking his shoulder. Just small touches to show he cared. “Mind if I poke around on your TV?”

  Ulric shrugged, looking down at himself. “Go ahead.”

  Gage kissed the back of his head. It was a lot for Ulric to absorb—Gage understood. And Ulric would need time. So Gage pulled off his own shirt and tucked it under Ulric’s chest, as an exchange for the shirt Ulric had given him.

  Then he left Ulric’s bedroom quietly, hoping that Ulric would take his words to heart.

  15

  Burn

  When he was properly dressed, his dignity scraped back together, Ulric stepped out of his bedroom. The house was quiet. Night had fallen, cloaking everything in shadow.

  Neither of Gage’s rooms were lit. The bathroom was dark, and so was the living room. Ulric assumed that Gage had gone out, all the way until he saw light from the TV flashing across the couch.

  Gage was sitting alone, his gaze transfixed on the screen. Had he silenced the TV?

  Curious, Ulric padded down the stairs. Then came a soft groan—not from Gage. And a quiet, rhythmic slapping began.

  Oh.

  Ulric froze, his face starting to burn. He hadn’t meant to intrude on that. He hurried off the stairs, halfway to the kitchen when Gage said, “Hey.”

  His voice had turned husky, a sweet rasp that curled down Ulric’s spine. Ulric’s breath snagged in his throat. “Yeah?”

  “Come over here for a sec. Watch this with me.”

  Ulric wasn’t sure he’d heard right. Watching porn with Gage? Was Gage serious? Ulric didn’t even like omegas that way.

  But if this meant that Gage was going to jerk off... Ulric couldn’t resist the urge to peek. He made his way back to the couch, his throat dry. “What’re you watching?”

  Gage nodded at the screen. “I found this in one of your folders.”

  Ulric’s stomach dropped. “What?”

  “You said I could poke around on this.” Gage raised his eyebrows. “Should I not have?”

  Ulric couldn’t move. He had a few lewd movies stored on the TV—some were his favorites, some he’d saved to watch later.

  None of them contained any omegas at all. Had Gage noticed that? He had to have, if he was halfway through the current movie.

  “You’re not...” Ulric tried to gesture with his hands. “You’re not watching something else?”

  Gage shrugged and grabbed the remote, pausing the video. It froze with one alpha’s cock halfway into a
nother alpha’s ass, both of them looking like they were on the verge of blowing their loads.

  It was one of Ulric’s favorites. Did Gage... find it weird?

  “Sit down.” Gage patted the couch next to him.

  Woodenly, Ulric planted himself on the couch. What were the chances of Gage actually jerking off to this? Probably close to zero. Disappointed, Ulric glanced at Gage’s pants. Was that his bulge...?

  “You like alphas,” Gage said quietly, meeting his eyes. “Not omegas?”

  Ulric’s face scorched. He must’ve been an idiot, if he thought he could keep that a secret from Gage. “I like omegas as friends. Like—Like Flores. He’s married to one of the firefighters.”

  “You wouldn’t marry one, though?” Gage looked thoughtful.

  Ulric huffed. “Funny story—I was also engaged to Flores.”

  Gage’s eyebrows crawled up. “You were? What happened?”

  “Arranged marriage some years back. His alpha crashed the wedding. I was so jealous.”

  “Because he had an alpha?”

  Ulric’s face betrayed him with all that heat. He looked at his hands, folding his fingers together. “Does it matter?”

  “Yeah.” Gage shuffled closer, bumping their arms together. “Why didn’t you just find an alpha?”

  “No one wants this face,” Ulric hissed, his old wounds reopening. “I had one, and he left me for an omega. He said I’m too—”

  Ulric looked down at himself, wishing this wouldn’t keep coming up. He needed to shed some weight, he needed to just... look normal.

  “Ulric.” Gage leaned in, kissing his cheek. “You’re perfect.”

  “Fuck off.” Ulric stood, suddenly angry with himself for being so hopeful. He wanted Gage. He would give just about anything to suck Gage off, and it hurt that Gage kept saying shit like that. Because they would be friends, and nothing else.

  Gage caught his hand, yanking him back. “Wait.”

  “Quit asking me to watch porn with you,” Ulric snapped. “You don’t even like this anyway.”

  “I don’t mind trying it.”

  Fuck. Ulric closed his eyes, his chest tight. He knew the risks. He knew the reasons why he shouldn’t get closer to Gage, and yet... he kept lapping up all the intimacy Gage gave him, desperate for more.