by Skye Tisdale
Morgan put her hand on my arm and tried to comfort me, but I couldn’t stop talking. It was like I was in a frenzy.
“I knew it wasn’t long before my squad met the same fate as those poor villagers,” I said hoarsely. “I chose to run, and they chose to follow. We barely made it across the border before we were declared AWOL. Military defectors, they called us—and technically we were. Traitors of the nation…” I shook my head sadly. “Before that day, the man in my squad were skilled, strong soldiers with bright futures in the military. Each of them dreamt of saving the world in their own way. But now? Now they’re wanted criminals, just like me. Hell, they could even be dead… I haven’t seen or heard from any of them since we split up at the border.”
“Oh, Axel…” Morgan whispered, teary–eyed. She took my hand and squeezed it, but I barely felt it. My body was numb. “I had no idea you’ve been through so much…”
“All those poor, innocent people dead, all because of me,” I croaked. “And my squad scattered in the wind like dandelion fluff, aimlessly drifting through life with no purpose. It’s all my doing. I got them into this mess, and I should’ve gotten them out of it too—but instead I ran away and hid like a god–damn coward.“
“Axel, that’s not true,” Morgan said softly. “You had good intentions. You wanted to protect innocent people, and that’s exactly what you did. That man and his family got away, didn’t they? All thanks to you. You saved their lives.”
“At the cost of everyone else,” I spat bitterly. “I could’ve prevented the massacre. I could’ve saved everyone, instead of just one man and his family…”
“How?“ she pressed. “You didn’t even know the massacre was going to happen. No–one did, because it was too awful to predict. How could you possibly have prevented that?”
“I don’t fucking know!” I snapped. “Somehow! There must be something I could’ve done. Maybe if I had used my brain and figured it out in time, then I could’ve taken action and saved all those people. I could’ve changed everything. But instead I let everyone die, and then I ran away and hid, like a fucking rat.“
“Hey!” Morgan barked and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me. “Stop beating yourself up over the past. It already happened, and there’s nothing either of us can do to change that. So, you can stop being so mean to yourself… because I won’t let you.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “You won’t let me?”
“That’s right.” She grinned and moved her hands to either side of my face. “As long as we’re here, together, there won’t be any lamenting about the past. And no calling ourselves mean names either!”
“Oh, I love it when you’re bossy.” I winked and ran my fingers through her long, mousy hair. “So, no lamenting about the past… But can I still lament about the future?”
There was a flash of sadness in Morgan’s big, brown eyes. “No lamenting about the future either,” she said quietly and shook her head. “This is our last night together, but that doesn’t mean we have to be all sad about it. We could try to have fun.”
“Why?” I asked. “What’s the point?”
“I don’t know.” She looked at me sadly. “I just know that I don’t want to cry anymore—and if I have to think about the fact that I’ll never get to see you again, I won’t be able to stop myself.”
The sensation in my heart was that of being stabbed over and over again. I felt angry at the world; at her; at everything. I wished I’d never met her, but at the same time, I didn’t want her to leave. Why the fuck did she have to show up and make me care about her when I was doing perfectly fine on my own? Tomorrow morning, she was going to walk out of my life forever, and I just knew that a part of me would break off and walk away with her, never to be seen again. She’d turned me into a broken man.
I’d been given a taste of happiness, only to be forced to let it go. Somehow, that was a thousand times worse than never having experienced it at all…
***
CHAPTER 13
MORGAN
“I wonder if the water is too cold for swimming,” I said and stuck my fingers into the chilly pool, sending ripples across the still surface.
“Let’s find out,” Axel suggested and gave me a playful nudge.
I lost my footing and stumbled towards the edge, but Axel grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back in the last second.
“Easy there, princess.”
“Axel! I almost fell in.”
He chuckled. “You know I would never let that happen.”
“Well, you better not,” I huffed. “Because if you do, I’ll pull you in with me, and then we’ll both be wet and cold!”
Axel’s eyes glimmered humorously. “Sounds awful,” he said. “I happen to know a great way to warm yourself up after something like that, but I’m not sure how you’d feel about it. See, it involves taking all your clothes off and laying really close…” He winked at me.
I flushed, and promptly turned away before he noticed. I walked back to the edge of the pool and gazed inside. I was overcome by an urge to jump inside. Hesitating only for a second, I pulled my sweatshirt over my head, and then my t–shirt too. I could feel Axel watching me curiously as I continued to strip down until I was wearing nothing but my underwear.
I straightened my neck and looked at him boldly. “I’m going in,” I said. “And I bet you don’t dare to jump in after me!”
“Oh, do you now?” Axel shot back. He kicked off his pants and pulled his jersey over his head, showing off that muscular torso underneath. He was ex–military, all right…
I bit my lip and glanced the other direction. He looked sleek and elegant as he threw himself over the edge, diving head–first into the clear water. Water droplets splattered on my bare skin, and I wondered if maybe staying on land wasn’t such a bad idea after all…
Axel came back up above the surface and swam up to the edge below me. “Come on!” he challenged me with an excited grin. “I thought you said you were getting in? It’s too late to back out now!”
I dipped my big toe into the water. It seemed colder now, but Axel was right, wasn’t he? I couldn’t back out now—especially not when he was swimming around down there, looking all smug and unfazed by the cold. I took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the pool before easing myself down into the water, letting the icy water wrap around my body. I shrieked, “It’s freezing!”
Axel laughed devilishly and splashed a handful of water in my direction before swimming off. I took off after him, paddling my hands and feet beneath the surface even though the cold made me feel like my bones were about to snap in half. When I reached him, he was standing on a large underwater rock. He took my hand and pulled me up beside him so I was only half–submerged in the cold water. The rock was small, and we had to stand really close together in order not to fall off. I hadn’t been this close to him since he carried me home in his arms.
Axel reached out and touched my arm. “You’re trembling,” he said.
“N–no, I’m n–not,” I tried to argue, but my teeth were chattering.
“I think we proved ourselves already,” Axel said with a hint of worry in his tone. “Let’s get back on land—before you turn into an ice cube.”
I shuddered and followed him back on land. Axel pulled himself up effortlessly and shook the water droplets from his hair before taking a seat by the fire. I felt the water droplets rolling down my back as I went to sit down beside him, getting as close to the fire as I possibly could without getting burnt. The heat felt amazing—especially when Axel pulled me into his arms and held me close. I leaned in against him and felt the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I couldn’t tell if it was him who smelled like wood and smoke, or the fire. The campfire smell had a tendency of sticking to his hair.
Axel put his lips up against my ear. “Better?”
A heat rushed through me. I looked up and nodded softly while my eyes darted between his eyes and lips. I felt a spark between us, so intense it was impossible t
o ignore. I desperately wanted to kiss him and find out if he felt the same way. Screw it, I thought and leaned in. It’s now or never.
I closed my eyes and kissed him—and as soon as my lips grazed his, it was like something came over him. He grabbed me and pushed me down against the cave floor, wrapping his lips around mine and kissing me with a hunger I never could have predicted. He ran his fingers through my wet hair, and I wrapped my arms around him and moaned softly into his mouth. This was it… This was the side of life I always knew existed, but never got the chance to experience myself. This was love.
It felt better than I ever could’ve imagined it would, even though deep down I knew that this was just a dream—and everyone has to wake up from their dreams eventually. I just wished it didn’t have to happen so soon. The truth hurt like a shard of glass embedded in my chest, but Axel and I were simply never meant to be…
***
CHAPTER 14
AXEL
The sun had already set by the time we began making our way back home. Thankfully, we had a different light to guide us: The Northern Lights. Shades of teal, neon green and bright purple rippled across the sky, looking like colorful ribbons in the wind. Morgan was watching them—for the first time, it seemed—and I was watching her. She looked up and smiled widely at me with a childlike sense of wonder in her eyes. I squeezed her hand and smiled back at her. Words weren’t necessary.
The fire had gone out when we got back to the cabin. I got on my knees and started the familiar routine of stacking logs on the embers before reaching for my flint & steel. The floorboards creaked behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Morgan standing in the kitchen with a wet t–shirt in her hands and a pile of clothes at her feet. Her skin glistened in the warm light.
“Don’t look!“ she gasped and covered herself coyly. “I’m going to take a quick shower before bed. I feel frozen solid.”
“No problem,” I grunted and turned back to the flames. Was she teasing me? I got the feeling that she was. If privacy was so important to her, she could’ve just gotten undressed in the bathroom. But instead she chose to do it right there, knowing that I could turn around and see her at any moment. Yeah, she had to be teasing me… And the worst part was that it was working. It was working far too well. My cock was ready to fucking burst, and all I could think about was how good it would feel to pin her down against the kitchen table and feel her twitch while I filled her up.
Yeah… That would be pretty fucking great, all right.
A few minutes passed, and then I heard the shower turn off. Morgan emerged from the bathroom, steam rising from her bare shoulders—and with nothing but my towel wrapped tightly around her naked body. Her long, wet hair clung to her skin. She walked over to me, smelling like some mysterious floral shower product I didn’t even know I owned. Must’ve been that Christmas present from Jennifer.
“Raid my bathroom cupboard, did you?” I asked.
Morgan giggled unabashedly. “Well, what can I say? I don’t know what kind of magic hair you have that stays soft and shiny without any kind of product, but my hair needs shampoo and conditioner—and all you had in the cubby was a loofah and a bar of soap.”
“Are you implying that I smell bad, princess?”
She laughed and ran her fingers through my hair. “Not at all. I’m just jealous…”
I hummed, quietly relishing in her touch. I could easily run my fingers through my own hair, but somehow it felt much better when she was the one doing it. “You getting tired yet?” I asked.
“Maybe a little bit,” she said and stifled a yawn. “You know, I was thinking… I don’t mind sharing, and the bed is definitely big enough for two people. Do you want to sleep together tonight?” She bit her lip. “…Please?”
I swallowed hard. Sure, the bed was big enough for two, but it was no king size. That meant I’d have to lay right up against her all night, feeling her soft body pressed up against mine… The thought was making my heart pound already. I shrugged and tried to play it cool, even though I actually felt anything but. “All right, princess. Only since you asked so nicely.”
I climbed the ladder to the loft and stripped down to my boxers and t–shirt, throwing the rest of my clothes into the bin in the corner. My stomach stirred as I got into the bed. Morgan climbed the steps behind me and stood at the side of the bed, gently holding the towel wrapped around her body.
I gave her a funny look. “Aren’t you going to put your clothes on first?”
“No…” she smiled nervously and let go of the towel. It fell to the floor with a soft thud.
I swallowed hard and took in the sight of her naked body. She was beautiful. Her skin was peachy and bright, and she was curvy in all the right places. Her full breasts had a sag to them, and there were stretch marks lining the broadest parts of her hips, but those imperfections only made her more beautiful in my eyes. She was real, and she was mine. I reached for her.
“Come here, sexy,” I growled hungrily and pulled her down into the bed with me. Ever since we kissed in that cave, I’d been dying for a second taste.
She giggled and rolled onto her side with my arms still wrapped around her, gazing lovingly into my eyes. I closed my eyes and kissed her softly. There was something enchanting about the taste of her, and I could feel myself getting worked up already. I was aching to be inside of her. In one swift move, I pushed her onto her back and climbed on top of her. The gasp–moan sound that followed from her was the sexiest sound I’d ever heard.
She slid her hands underneath my t–shirt and caressed my bare skin. A redness was spreading across her chest, and it only spread wider as she moved her hand down towards my crotch. She smiled coyly as she wrapped her fingers around my hard cock through the thin fabric. I grunted quietly. Her touch drove me wild. She touched me with a lightness and curiosity, almost like she didn’t know what to do with it. She’d probably never even seen a cock before in her entire life.
I would happily show her mine. But not yet.
“My turn,” I whispered into her ear.
She gazed up at me, timidly chewing on her bottom lip. “What are you going to do to me?”
“Touch you…“ I mumbled and ran my fingers lightly along the sides of her body, following the exact shape of her curves.
She closed her eyes, drew a deep breath, and shivered.
“Taste you…“ I leaned in and brushed my lips against her collarbone. I moved downwards slowly, planting little kisses along the way. I felt her stiff nipple against my bottom lip. I took it in my mouth and sucked down, hearing her gasp. When I wrapped my teeth around her and bit down gently, she began to tremble. I pulled away. There was no need to be rough… yet.
“What else?” Morgan moaned breathlessly.
“Take you,” I growled and pressed my lips against her, kissing her hungrily.
She kissed me back and parted her legs, inviting me to slide my hand in between her thighs. I did just so. Starting at her inner thigh, I caressed her gently until her flushed chest was heaving rapidly up and down. The tips of my fingers wettened as I moved them closer, and Morgan’s soft moans were echoing in my ears. I moved up to kiss her again, knowing that each kiss could be our last. I wanted to give myself the chance to truly savor it. Weeks from now, the only part of her still remaining would be her memory.
Morgan gripped me tightly. “Take me,” she breathed into my ear. “I want my first time to be with you.”
Suddenly, guilt clutched my chest. She deserved better—and since when did I become the type of man who would love a woman, only to leave her the next day? “Believe me, princess: I want to. I want to take you so bad... But are you sure? I thought you were saving yourself for—”
Morgan put her finger to my lips to silence me. “It’s true, I was saving myself,” she mumbled. “The thing is, I never actually knew that I had another choice. Now that I do—thanks to you—I’m finally free to make my own decisions.” She gazed deep into my eyes. “I want you, Axel… Even if i
t’s just for one night.”
***
CHAPTER 15
MORGAN
I was hoping for a miracle. A sudden lightning storm, the car breaking down, maybe a tree falling down and blocking the road… Hell, I’d even suffer through another blizzard—as long as it meant I got to spend just one more day in Axel’s strong arms. But, of course, that miracle never came. There wasn’t a storm cloud in sight. In fact, it was a beautiful day. The sky was clear, the snow was melting, and birds were serenading each other in the treetops.
…I’d never been so upset about sunny weather before.
Even though I hadn’t stayed for long, Axel’s cabin had begun to feel like home. I had grown used to the crackling fire lulling me to sleep, the icy cold tap water, and cuddling up on the couch with Axel and Phoebe underneath a thick, woolen blanket. When we sat on either side of the kitchen table, cracking each other up over a bowl of hot, honeyed oatmeal, I could almost forget about the uncertainty of my own future. This place was peaceful in a way I couldn’t even describe… And I already knew I was going to miss it for the rest of my life.
But this life was a dream, and the morning alarm had already gone off. It was time to wake up and face reality.
“I found these in the back of the cupboard,” Axel said and dumped a heavy box of canned food into the back of my car, causing it to sink deeper into the ground. “I know they’re only one step above cat food, but at least you won’t go hungry for a while.”