Undercover Bromance

by Lyssa Kay Adams

  “It’s bad form to recruit someone else’s employees.”

  Warning bells clanged in Mack’s brain, but his mouth didn’t care. “So is sexually harassing your employees.”

  Red splotches darkened Royce’s cheeks. Mack realized with a start that this was the face that the public never got to see. The face that had scared Jessica to the point of tears. The face that was going to feel the brunt end of Mack’s fist soon.

  “Why don’t you and I stop dancing around this thing? Say what you came to say and get the fuck out of my club.”

  “Olivia is dangerous, man. She’s unstable.”

  “Is that right?”

  “I should’ve fired her a long time ago.”

  Mack nearly cracked a tooth from the tight clench of his jaw.

  “I don’t know what she told you, but you listen to her at your own peril. She makes shit up.” Royce shrugged. “It’s sad, really, because she’s talented in the kitchen, and”—his mouth curled into a lecherous sneer—“in other ways.”

  A blur of curly hair passed in Mack’s peripheral vision before he realized what was happening.

  Oh shit. Liv. “You disgusting, lying sack of shit.”

  Royce laughed. “Olivia. What a surprise.”

  Mack grabbed her arm, but she yanked free. “I have never slept with you. Jesus, I’d rather gouge out my own eyeballs first.”

  Royce shrugged again in the kind of way that said he was getting exactly the response he’d hoped for. “Told you, Mack. Unstable.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Royce.”

  “I should’ve kicked you in that shriveled-blob fish dick of yours when I had the chance,” Liv sneered.

  Royce’s face exploded in red splotches.

  Mack wrapped an arm around her waist and hauled her against his body. “Stop,” he hissed into her ear. “This is what he wants. We get riled up and make a scene, and suddenly neither one of us has any credibility.”

  Liv pulled from his grasp. “You are not going to get away with this,” she said, pointing.

  “Hey, Olivia?” He winked. “I already have.”

  “Get the fuck out of my bar,” Mack growled.

  Liv let Mack pull her away from the bar. “Come on. Let’s go.” He slid his hand down the back of her arm and clasped her hand so he could tug her along behind him to his office. Curious whispers and stares cataloged the entire thing. It would be a miracle if no one had caught some of it on video.

  Liv stomped into the office, hands shaking. “I have never slept with him.”

  “Christ, Liv. I know.”

  She turned around to face him. “He’s going to spread that rumor about me, isn’t he?”

  “I won’t let him.”

  Sonia suddenly ran in. “Shriveled-blob fish dick?”

  Liv shuddered. “It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”

  Her snark was short-lived. Her knees wobbled, and she sank against the edge of the desk. “He really is going to ruin me. The entire culinary world is going to think I had an affair with him.”

  Mack closed the distance between them and gripped her chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Look at me.”

  He tilted her face upward.

  “We will stop him.”

  She held his eyes, and something caught in his chest. Her eyes were like mirrors, reflecting every emotion. He watched, transfixed, as anxiety hardened into determination, turning hazel into fiery green.

  “You’re goddamned right we will,” she breathed. “Whatever it takes.”

  He made a fist and held it out. “Partners?”

  Liv bumped her fist against his. “Partners.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  The next morning, Mack dropped into his normal seat at the diner where he and the guys ate breakfast every other week. He was the last to arrive, which was unusual. But so were the circumstances. This wasn’t their normal week.

  A mug of coffee was waiting for him. He pushed it aside and leaned on his forearms.

  “What’s the big emergency?” Malcolm asked, tone tinged with uncharacteristic annoyance. “My wife and I have plans today.”

  A waitress made her way to the table and asked Mack if he was ready to order. He spared her a quick glance. “Just the coffee, thanks.”

  There was a moment of silence after she walked away. “What?” Mack asked.

  “Wow,” Del said quietly. “You didn’t even smile at her.”

  “Who?”

  Malcolm pointed. “The waitress. You didn’t flirt with her.”

  Mack shook his head. “I don’t have time for flirting. I need to talk to you guys.”

  “Obviously,” Del deadpanned. “You dragged us out of bed.”

  “This is serious!”

  “You get dumped again already?” Gavin asked.

  Mack flipped him off. Gavin returned the gesture. Malcolm started to stand. “I don’t have time for this.”

  Mack grabbed his arm. “Sit down. You need to hear this.”

  Malcolm returned to his seat with a stern glare. “This better be good.”

  Mack sucked in a breath and dragged a hand over his hair. When he exhaled, he settled his eyes on his friends. He knew he should feel guilty about doing this without talking to Liv first, but this was an emergency. “This needs to stay between us.”

  “This really is serious, isn’t it?” Gavin said, growing somber.

  “It is. And it’s about Liv.”

  Gavin’s whole body went rigid. “What about Liv?”

  “She didn’t tell you the whole story about why she got fired.”

  Five minutes later, the guys reacted to the story exactly as Mack knew they would because they all lived by the same code he did.

  The Russian banged his meaty fist into his tree trunk of a thigh. “I will break his balls.”

  “What are you proposing we do?” Del asked.

  “I’m not sure yet. But if he’s one of those guys, we have to stop him.”

  Malcolm nodded. “I’m in.”

  Derek agreed. “Me too.”

  One after another, the guys nodded around the table. Only Gavin held back. He shook his head, removed his baseball cap, and ran his hands over his flattened hair. “I don’t like this. I don’t want Liv to get hurt.”

  “I won’t let her get hurt. I’ll protect her.”

  Gavin snorted. “I’d love to see her reaction if you said that to her. She has a way of doing things on her own.”

  Yeah. He knew. And it was sort of growing on him.

  * * *

  * * *

  Liv raced through a shower, doing the hair and makeup thing, and got dressed before heading out to do her morning chores. A cold, misty rain dampened the grass and immediately undid the small amount of effort she’d put into her hair. Her boots sank into the soggy grass as she crossed the yard to the chicken coops. Goats bleated from inside the barn, but they’d have to wait their turn. Randy had already flown over the fence and was now perched on his favorite branch, waiting for the hens to be let out so he could reach his daily sex quota. He greeted Liv with a threatening flap of his wings.

  “I’m in no mood for you today.”

  Randy let out an angry crow. She lunged at him but then felt guilty. It wasn’t his fault that Royce was a disgusting asshole who was apparently telling everyone that she’d slept with him. A cold chill stole over her skin that had nothing to do with the weather. Just the thought of being anywhere near that man . . . she gagged.

  Randy threatened her again, and this time she swung her arm out to warn him back. “I mean it, Randy. I have had it with cock-swinging fuckboys.”

  “Good to know.”

  Liv jumped and looked over her shoulder. Mack was twenty feet away and drawing closer, all smooth swagger and confidence in a pair of golf shorts
and a thin athletic pullover. The misty rain that had turned her hair into a stringy mess against her neck made his own hair dance with little dots of dew. He was a goddamned Nike ad.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Randy flew from his perch and ran straight for Mack, feathers fluffed and wings flapping. Mack hopped on one foot and then the other to avoid the attack. “What is wrong with this thing?”

  “Roosters are assholes.”

  Mack kicked his leg out. Randy leaped into the air and kicked with both feet. Mack stumbled back with a curse. Liv grabbed a wire basket hanging from a hook by the door of the pen and swung it. Randy finally got the message and ran off in search of a hen to molest.

  Liv handed the basket to Mack. “Make yourself useful.”

  “What’re we doing?”

  “You are going to collect the eggs while I throw down some chicken feed.”

  “Collect eggs from where?”

  Liv pointed to the nesting box. “Lift the lid. Look in each box to see if there are any eggs. If there are, put them in the basket. Carefully.”

  Mack looked at the box like death itself waited inside. “Are there chickens in there?”

  “There might be. They’ll move for you. Just reach under them and be gentle.”

  “You want me to reach under a chicken?”

  “They’ll move.”

  “But under the chicken? Like where the vagina is?”

  “First of all, chickens don’t have vaginas. Second of all, if they did, it’s a chicken. She won’t mind.”

  “But—”

  “For God’s sake, Mack, be a man.”

  “Hey,” he said, pointing at her. “Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I should have no fears or— Wait. Chickens don’t have vaginas?”

  “Oh my God. Just get the stupid eggs.”

  Liv opened the door to the pen as Mack gingerly lifted the wooden hatch to the nesting box. He all but deflated in relief to see just one hen waiting inside. The rest had run out in search of freedom and wet dirt when Liv opened the pen.

  Hazel didn’t get very far, though. Randy leaped on her back and did his business. It was over in three seconds.

  “Christ, Randy,” Mack said, voice dripping with disgust. “Pace yourself.”

  Liv tossed some feed on the ground to cover her smile.

  Mack lowered three eggs into the basket. “Hey, does a chicken know when it’s about to squeeze out an egg, or does it just plop out?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “How about the first time they lay an egg? They must be like, What the fuck is happening right now? What the hell just came out of me? Maybe I’ll sit on it and see what happens.”

  A puff of laugher escaped before she could reel it in. His satisfied grin said he’d heard it. Damn him.

  He moved on to the next empty nest. “But seriously, what do chickens have if they don’t have vaginas?”

  Liv replaced the scoop in the bucket of feed. “I don’t want to talk about chicken vaginas with you anymore. Like, ever.”

  “I’ll just google it if you don’t tell me, and then imagine what my pop-up ads will be like.”

  She sighed. “They have a vent called a cloaca. It’s, like, a universal hole for everything.”

  “Everything?” He shuddered. “Why do you know so much about chicken vaginas?”

  “One of the chickens had an egg stuck a few months ago. We had to help her pass it.”

  “This is quite an interesting life you have. Tell me again why you live here?”

  Liv walked away instead of answering. She got that question a lot from different people. She didn’t owe anyone an answer. Especially not Mack.

  Mack followed her into the house, where she kicked off her muck boots and took the basket from him. “Wash your hands,” she said, with a nod to the bathroom.

  Rosie was sitting at the island with a cup of coffee and the morning paper. It was one of the things Liv loved about her. Rosie still had a newspaper delivered every morning, just like her grandmother used to. The only times Liv ever truly felt secure as a child were the mornings she spent curled up on the couch next to her grandma as she read the morning paper.

  Liv swiped her wet hair back and set the eggs on the counter. “Randy is already going after Hazel. She’s getting a bald spot on her neck. Maybe we should bring her in for a while.”

  “Poor thing. I’ll go out and get her in a minute.”

  The water turned off in the bathroom, and Mack strode in. Rosie let out a little sigh. “Look who’s back.”

  Mack milked it. “Rosie, you’re looking beautiful this morning.”

  “Oh God.” Liv gagged.

  “Are you hungry?” Rosie asked. “I have muffins, and there’s a quiche in the oven.”

  “I’d love one of your muffins.” He winked.

  Liv looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Is there anyone you don’t flirt with?”

  Rosie set a muffin on a plate and handed it to Mack. “So what do you two have planned for today?”

  Mack took a quick bite before answering. “Cloak-and-dagger stuff.”

  “You never did tell me why you’re here,” Liv said.

  “I have some things to discuss with you.”

  Before he could say more, though, the back door suddenly banged open and shut. The sound of twin voices filled the house. “Aunt Livvie!”

  Amelia ran in, followed quickly by Ava, followed immediately by Thea.

  The girls seemed happy to see Mack.

  Thea did not.

  “Interesting that you’re here, Mack,” Thea said.

  Mack turned a paler shade of oh shit. “Hey, Thea—”

  “I need to talk to my sister alone.”

  Mack set down the muffin. “I’ll, um, I’ll take the girls outside to play.”

  Rosie hovered nervously for a moment before deciding the safest bet was to go with them.

  Liv faced her sister. “God, Thea, what the hell is wrong?”

  Thea planted her hands on her hips. “When were you going to tell me the truth about why you got fired?”

  Oh. Shit.

  Ten minutes later, Thea paced the length of Rosie’s living room. “I can’t believe you lied to me.”

  “Technically, I just left out some information,” Liv said.

  Thea didn’t appreciate the distinction, judging by the red splotches on her cheeks and the wild anger in her eyes. Liv swallowed and shut up.

  “I swear to God, I don’t understand you, Liv. Why do you keep things like this from me?”

  “I didn’t want to drag you into this.”

  “You’re my sister. Your problems are my problems.”

  “Correction. Your problems are usually because of my problems.”

  Thea threw her arms in the air with a frustrated noise. “Where the hell does that come from, Liv? I don’t understand you!”

  “I have been a burden on people my entire life. Mom. Dad. Gran Gran. You.”

  “That is not true. Why the hell do you believe that?”

  Liv stood up and waved her hands to ward off further argument and before she revealed something she really didn’t want to. “It is what it is. You know the whole story now. And now you’re going to go home and worry and fret, as if you need one more thing on your plate.”

  Thea gave her another one of those looks. “I’m your sister. It’s my job to worry about you.”

  Liv pushed her hair off her face. “The fact that you think that is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

  “But did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out?”

  “Eventually, I guess! I didn’t think that far out. I was trying to deal with it my way. Wait—how did you find out?”

  “How do you think? Mack told Gavin and the rest of the guys this mor
ning.”

  Liv’s muscles spasmed. “He did what?”

  * * *

  * * *

  The tension inside the house had followed Mack and Rosie outside. Even the hens were pissed. When Randy went after Hazel, she squawked and pecked at him until he backed off.

  “Should we go back in?” Mack asked Rosie, who was helping the girls feed the goats.

  “I think they’ll come out when they’re ready.”

  Hop ambled over. “Rosie, I need to drive over to the feed store. You want to ride with me?”

  Rosie stiffened. “Come on, girls,” she said. “Let’s go check on some of my seeds.”

  “That was obvious,” Mack said when Rosie was out of earshot. “What’d you do?”

  Hop sucked his teeth. “She’s been like that with me since I made that crack about the Equal Rights Amendment. She can’t take a joke.”

  “Maybe it wasn’t funny.”

  “See, that’s the problem these days. No one has a sense of humor anymore. Offended at every damn thing.”

  Mack shook his head. “Dude, some shit was always offensive.”

  “No one minded in my day.”

  “Women did. You just decided their opinions didn’t count.”

  Hop rolled his eyes, but there was a notable chink in his armor.

  “So how long does that have to go on before you realize that the problem isn’t her lack of a sense of humor but the fact that you need to find some better fucking material?”

  Hop pointed with a gnarled knuckle. “Watch your mouth.”

  Mack shrugged. “I’m just saying I can help you.”

  Hop scoffed. “With what?”

  Mack nodded toward the root cellar, where Rosie had disappeared with the girls. “How long have you been in love with her?”

  “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hop grumbled.

  “You can play dumb all you want, but I know what I know.”

  “That ain’t saying much.”

  “You can win her over. I can help you.”

  Hop curled his lips in like he’d just gotten his first taste of quinoa. “You think I’m going to take romantic advice from a man who can’t admit when he’s lusting after a woman?”