His Kindred Spirit

by Sloan Johnson

  “I haven’t even known him a month,” I reminded Jen. “I wouldn’t be pulling out the bridal magazines to plan our wedding just yet.”

  “You say that as if there’s some set time you have to know someone to fall in love with them,” she countered. “I knew Grady was the man I’d eventually settle down with the first night we met.”

  “You mean the night you swiped on his profile picture and the two of you fucked?” I teased.

  “Yes, asshole. It may not have been a conventional introduction, but there was something about him that was like a flashing neon sign that he was it for me.”

  “And yet, how long did you two screw around before I got the boot?” If she knew the whole time that she wanted him, why did she let him keep fucking me whenever we got together? How was she okay with stepping aside when I had a rough visit with Dad and told Grady I needed him more than she did? Her admission raised her to saint status in my mind because I wasn’t sure I’d have been as charitable if I’d been in her shoes. Actually, I knew I wouldn’t, because I could still remember how it felt the night I stayed alone in Grady’s apartment while he was out banging the girl he’d been with before Jen. I hated it. I had never been a fan of sharing even when we were all casual.

  “You know that’s not the way it was.”

  “Yeah, I do. And I think Grady made a good call when he proposed to you. Doesn’t mean it didn’t sting at the time.” We’d had this conversation several times over the past couple of years. I was happy for them, truly. I paused a moment, taking stock of my thoughts, realizing I honestly meant it this time. I had the other times, too, but this time it wasn’t laced with bitterness over once again being cast aside. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

  “Dane, when you love someone, you have to think not only about yourself but about them and their needs as well. When Grady and I met, he was still on his never-settling-down kick. If I’d pushed him into a relationship, he’d have bolted. And it worked for me too, because I knew I didn’t have the time to commit to him but didn’t want him to be alone either. And he wasn’t, because you were there. As for you and Brook, I stand by my statement that you’re in love with him, possibly also in denial, but you definitely love him. If you didn’t, you’d have rented a car and you’d already be sitting on our couch, bitching about what a piece of shit your uncle is and how much you hate Grady for telling you it’d be a good idea for you to go down there.”

  “Would not.”

  “Yeah, you would,” she argued. “It’s your way. When shit gets too heavy, you run like Forrest Gump. But sometime, you have to stop running.”

  “I know.” Fuck, I couldn’t argue with her. Not today and sure as hell not before caffeine. “But that’s not what I called about. I need to figure out what to do about the inn. When I came down here, I thought it was just to get to know James and feel him out for Dad. Then I found out the grandfather I thought had abandoned me because of my egg donor, left half the damn hotel to me and wished he’d been able to know me.”

  “An inn,” she corrected me.

  “Same difference.” I was too groggy for semantics. “Oh, and not only that, but before I can even come to grips with this news, my asshole uncle plans on using my boyfriend to coerce me into selling the place.”

  “Do you want to?” Bless the woman for glossing right over the part where I’d called Brook my boyfriend. We hadn’t placed a label on what we were doing, but it felt right to call him that. Or it did in the fantasy world I was choosing to live in, the one where the past twelve hours were nothing but a cold-sweat-inducing nightmare.

  “What in the hell am I going to do with an inn? And there’s the little problem of the asshole wanting to sell the place because he owes so many people money. He can’t sell without my signature, but that doesn’t mean the inn will be safe. Brook said he’s pretty sure James owes people money, and they’ve been hanging around. What if one of the people who are after him decides to send a message?”

  “Good point. Now, let’s slow down for a minute and think about this….” I could practically see Jen grabbing a scrap of paper, drawing lines on it to make a pros-and-cons list; that was her answer to everything in life. Sure enough, she asked me to list off all the reasons selling made sense, followed by what was holding me back. The pros list was short but impactful: having something to tie me to the family I had never known, staying with Brook, giving Dad a place to start over once he got out.

  “Okay, so let’s say I decide I don’t want to sell it,” I continued, after running through both lists again. “That means I’m stuck with James as a business partner, and I don’t trust him. As far as I’m concerned, he’s just another piece of shit who’s trying to fuck with my life.”

  “So buy him out,” Jen suggested bluntly. As if it was that simple. I didn’t know what the inn was worth, but it wasn’t like I could just run to the ATM and pull out the cash. Everything I owned was tied up in investments, thanks to the numbers geek I was speaking with. “And do what with it? I work with computers, not people.”

  “You have Brook to deal with the day-to-day shit,” she pointed out.

  “And when he leaves?” Brook’s grandpa would eventually pass away, leaving Brook to get on with his life. He’d shared some of his dreams with me: how he wanted to take a road trip through the entire country, hitting all forty-eight continental states, maybe even detouring up to Alaska. He wanted to go to college. He wanted to explore the world so he could figure out what life away from the beach looked like.

  “What if he doesn’t leave?”

  “He will.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “He’s only still here because of his grandfather. Once the old man dies, he’ll leave.”

  “What if he finds there’s a reason for him to stay?” Staying home with Pax had turned Jen into a total sap. She’d obviously been watching too many Lifetime movies.

  “Dane, it’s time for a little tough love. You’ve lived your entire life waiting for people to let you down—”

  I opened my mouth to dispute her, but she shut me down within the first syllable.

  “No, this is time for you to listen. Don’t tell me you don’t do it, because you do. And I understand why. You’ve had a lot more shit thrown your way than most people. But you’re never going to be happy if you keep living that way. At some point you have to decide that you’re worth being loved. That loving someone else is worth the risk. If you’re always looking back at how many people have violated your trust in the past, you’re going to miss all the great things ahead in your life.”

  “So, you’re saying forget all the other shit and profess my undying love to a man I just met?”

  Jen growled into the phone. I heard Grady in the background, asking what was wrong. “Your best friend is a fucking idiot. That’s what’s wrong.”

  The line went silent, and I knew damn well Jen was recapping our conversation for her husband. Sure enough, when a voice came through the line, it was Grady. “You really are an idiot, aren’t you?”

  “I thought you were supposed to be on my side,” I whined. After all, he was the king of don’t-fall-in-love until Jen came along. And he’d never acted like one of those annoying assholes who thought that because he was living in domestic bliss, everyone else should be too.

  “I’m Switzerland here. Plus if you get your head out of your ass, you’ll realize both of us are on your side. You need to talk to Brook, find out what’s going on instead of drawing conclusions based on what your uncle told you.”

  “I do believe him,” I insisted.

  “And that’s why you’re sitting in a hotel room after checking out of the place you’ve been staying? When Brook goes in today, what do you think the odds are he’s going to go to your room and find it empty?” It was too damn early for Grady to make sense.

  I spied a small coffee maker in the alcove between the bedroom and bathroom. As I listened to Grady walk me through everything he thought I should do,
I offered up a silent prayer as the room was filled with the aroma of heaven in a cup. When it finished brewing, I sipped as I started the shower. I felt better after talking to Grady, but that meant I had a long day ahead of me.

  “Do you think I should tell Dad about this?” I asked as I adjusted the water temperature and unwrapped the little bar of soap. Unlike the generic toiletries at the inn, these were branded for the hotel and smelled like lime and something else. Not an overpowering scent, but something that carried a subtle air of luxury. Funny, until this moment, I’d never once considered all the amenities hotels provided to keep their guests happy. Shit like this would’ve been a better way to spend money than fancy furniture that was already getting dinged up every time a guest ran their suitcase into the wood.

  “Dane, are you even listening to me?”

  “Yeah,” I responded, repeating the highlights back to him. “Talk to Brook, don’t say anything to Dad until I know what’s going on, ask the asshole what it’ll take to buy him out, call you back so you can crunch numbers.”

  “Good. Now, finish your coffee, shower, and work on putting your life back together.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Grady chuckled at the exaggerated tone in my voice. “Oh, and stop by the store on your way back to the inn. If this Brook is half as good as you make him out to be, you’re gonna need kneepads for the groveling you need to do.”

  Chapter 12

  (Brook)

  EVEN THOUGH I expected it, seeing our room empty this morning crippled me. I curled up in the unmade bed, burying my face in Dane’s pillow, and tried to convince myself he’d be back, that there was enough chemistry between us that he wouldn’t have left without at least saying goodbye. And not that stilted bullshit outside Bomber’s. In my mind, if Dane was leaving me, he’d kiss me passionately, holding on to me until the last possible second, whispering lies about how he wished it didn’t have to be this way. I’d beg him to stay, and he’d point out all the reasons that wasn’t possible.

  My cell phone chimed in the other room, but I ignored it. James could man the desk himself for today’s checkouts because I wasn’t in any mood to deal with people. My chest physically ached every time I thought about Dane, which happened about every two seconds. There was no part of this inn that didn’t contain a memory of him. Hell, the entire town was tainted at this point.

  I bolted upright when the door to the suite slammed open. So help me, if James thought he could barge in here and demand I get my ass to work when I rarely took a full day off, he could—

  “Brook?”

  I clenched my eyes tight at the pained inflection of my name crossing Dane’s lips. When I opened them, he stood at the door to the bedroom, duffel bag in hand, as though he couldn’t cross the threshold without permission.

  “I… I thought you’d left.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I thought about it, but I couldn’t do it,” he admitted. “The old me probably would’ve run away rather than facing everything that was thrown at me yesterday, but I don’t want to be that man anymore. It gets old, trying to figure out all the ways people can hurt me and dodging the blows before they come. But I didn’t know how to fight this.”

  “Do you now?” I slid out of the bed, smoothing my work uniform.

  Dane dropped the bag to the floor and held out his arms as I crossed the room. He held me close, whispering apologies into my hair. I wanted to tell him it was okay and that I understood, but it wasn’t, and I didn’t. Not really. I knew about his past but couldn’t imagine a life spent trying to stay one step ahead of the pain.

  “I’m starting to, but I’m afraid it won’t work,” he told me. I led him into the kitchenette and started a pot of coffee, ignoring the memories of the mornings that coffee led to sex and me rushing to get downstairs. The days when we’d been unable to keep our hands to ourselves felt distant, and I wanted that to be our normal.

  “Do you want to talk it through?” I asked as I poured each of us a mug of coffee and led Dane out to the balcony. There were already families setting up on the beach below, surfers enjoying the morning waves.

  “Right now, the only thing I want to know is if I’ve fucked this all up or if there’s a way to fix how much I hurt you last night.” Rather than lying back in one of the chairs, Dane set his mug on the railing and peered out over the ocean. I stood next to him, mirroring his position. “I should’ve known better than to believe you were manipulating me, Brook. You’ve been nothing short of amazing since the day I got here. First as a friend and now, hopefully, as something more. But you need to realize I’m used to even those closest to me betraying me. It happened to my dad, which is why he’s been in prison for so long. And just like him, I’ve grown tired of fighting it.”

  The little I knew about Dane’s dad’s case was from what I’d seen in the papers or overheard in conversations, but that’d been years ago. The few times I’d considered asking Dane about it, I’d refrained, not wanting to push him into an uncomfortable conversation he’d undoubtedly had more times than he could count. While it was possible his dad was guilty of everything he’d been charged with, it seemed unlikely. Dane was a good man, but not the type of man I could picture defending someone he knew was guilty of a crime, especially one that hurt others.

  “You were right last night when you said I needed to start believing there are people out there who are willing to help me,” he continued, still gazing into the distance. “It took putting some distance between myself and this place to understand how much the inn means to me. And maybe that’s nuts, because I’d never set foot in the place until a few weeks ago. But leaving here, feeling that ache in my chest when I walked away, proved that I don’t want to let James sell it. I don’t want to give up my rights to a place that my grandfather built so he’d have something to call his own.

  “Because that is something I understand. I hate knowing that he was so miserable for so long, but I’m proud of him for doing something that made him happy.” Dane stepped closer, sliding his hand into the back pocket of my shorts. “I wish I’d gotten to know him while he was still alive because I think my life would’ve been much different. I wouldn’t have been alone after Dad was arrested. I would’ve had someone helping me convince him to fight to prove he wasn’t capable of doing the shit he was convicted of. But most importantly, I think my grandfather would’ve taught me what it meant to go after the things that matter in life. Even though he couldn’t teach me that while he was alive, I’m going to do my best to live right by him from now on. I want to go after what makes my life good.”

  “And what’s that?” I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder. I held my breath as I waited for him to answer.

  “You, for one thing.” Dane turned to face me, holding on to my hip as he ran a hand through my frustration-mussed hair. “My life is so much richer for having you in it. And I want to see where this thing between us leads. I want to wake up next to you, knowing that we’re partners. And even though you say the inn is a job for you, I know it’s so much more than that. An employee wouldn’t put in the effort you do to make every guest feel as if they’re the most important person to walk through the doors. James might want to sell the inn, but I promise you, I’m not going to let that happen. I’m going to figure out a way to save it, because when I closed my eyes last night, I had the most amazing dreams of the two of us turning this into our legacy. Something we could be proud of.”

  “I want that too,” I whispered, fighting back tears. From everything Dane was saying, it certainly sounded like he had no plans to leave, but we needed to be clear. I wanted him more than I’d wanted anyone in the past, which was exactly why I couldn’t let myself fall any further without clarification. “Does that mean you’re staying in Sunset Beach?”

  “As long as I possibly can,” he promised. “While you’re working today, I need to talk to James and see if we come to some sort of agreement about the inn. He’s adamant about selling, but I’m going to show him that stub
born is a trait shared by all Montgomerys. It took me twenty-six years to have any sort of connection to my roots, and I’m not going to let him dig those up. Then I need to call work and put in my notice so they can pay out my accrued time off.”

  I tensed as it dawned on me that we were still living in our little fantasy world. Yes, I wanted Dane to move down here, but with the inn’s uncertain future thanks to James’s poor decisions, it wasn’t the most sound decision for him to walk away from a stable career and home. If he convinced James to keep the inn, there was no way of knowing if James would mismanage the place into the ground, which I feared he’d already begun by doing unnecessary renovations, thinking it’d draw in a higher offer from potential buyers. The man had the business sense of a teenager with their parents’ AmEx card without the risk of being grounded if he spent too much money. That was a huge gamble for Dane.

  “If you’d forfeit the paid time off, maybe you could work a few more assignments and burn it off in between,” I suggested, trying to prove I wasn’t being entirely selfish by wanting him to move into the inn permanently so I wouldn’t have to miss him. “During the off-season, I can come up and stay with you for a while.”

  This must be love, because there was no other logical explanation for me volunteering to spend time up north during the winter. Anything below forty degrees was enough to keep me bundled up in the house. But Dane would be there, and I was sure he’d have plenty of ways to warm up my frozen body.

  “That’s not going to happen,” he insisted. “I’ve done a good job living within my means, so I don’t have to bust my ass, especially since I won’t have to pay rent or a mortgage. Either way, I’m walking away. One thing you may not know about me yet, but you’ll learn, is that once I put my mind to something, I don’t turn back. And being here is what I want. Being with you. Running the inn. Of course, you’re going to have to do most of that because the only thing I know about hotels is staying in them, but we’ll get through it.”