Garrison would make a point of destroying me before I’d be allowed to leave.
Physically, mentally and definitely emotionally.
Having worked at The Club, I knew men. Most wanted to find the line between sexuality and their soul. Garrison didn’t have a soul. He didn’t want sex for joy or pleasure. He wanted to use it to destroy. His pleasure was in the destruction of others.
I couldn’t win.
I knew all hope had been lost when I let Ibby hold me to his chest. “I promise you; I will do everything possible to make this right.”
“But what if you can’t?”
Tormented by the man I still loved, I somehow found the strength to push him away and half-run to the safety of my room.
Ibby
One step forward and a dozen steps backward.
After helping Katie move out of our room and back into her own, I delivered a plate of food, like a schmuck, before hitting the phones again.
“What the fuck happened?” At least Karnal answered his phone.
“The guy’s dead. Don’t worry about him.”
Dead? If Karnal meant literally, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to say it over the phone.
“I’m worried. I thought we had a deal?”
“We did. I told them to get out of town, reassured them the Kingsmen escort wouldn’t be a problem.”
“So why two and not all three?”
“One went back for his girl. She refused to leave town and accused him of not having any balls. Challenged him to stand up to me.”
“Not his brightest move.” Until Katie, I wouldn’t have understood. Now, Katie taught me well. Smart and love didn’t necessarily go hand in hand.
“So, what happened?”
“He’s gone batshit crazy, gone into the Kingmen’s local pub and stabbed one of the recruits before being taken into, let’s say, custody for his own protection.”
“Hence, the dead man.”
“Nothing I can do; or want to do to help him. Stupid prick was wearing my colors, so I’m involved.”
“Let me talk to Luther.”
“And say what?” Karnal sounded more concerned than pissed. “Apparently my guys don’t feel appreciated for their hard work and Luther is redirecting his security detail to reinforce his locals.”
“I know. My nightclubs are basically naked because of all this shit. I can buy in more security, but no one wants to get in between you guys.”
“I thought our deal was solid. Luther did too, you can’t lay this shit on me.”
My judgement had been worth shit lately, but I wanted to believe Karnal wanted this to end. He just needed a face-saving way out.
“Karnal, I’m not blaming anyone. Just don’t do anything stupid until everyone’s had a chance to calm down. I’ll talk to Luther.”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can say. Smartest thing you can do right now is not get involved.”
“Mate, I’m involved. If this shit doesn’t get sorted, my clubs are gone, you and Luther are going to have some vacancies in your ranks, and a woman I love is gonna get hurt.”
“Love! Isn’t that a strong word? Never thought I’d hear Ibrahim Mercia use a word like that.”
“Never before, and it doesn’t matter now. The only thing that matters is getting this shit sorted before our worlds implode.”
“At least we agree on something. You help me on this, consider your debt cleared.”
“I didn’t know I had a debt.”
“I didn’t think you could handle any more stress. Make the mess go away, and we can finish that beer as friends.”
I was fucked. And not in a my balls have been licked to death kind of consensual way.
With six days until my balloon payment fell due and I couldn’t sleep more than a couple of hours. My brain was exploding with all the what ifs. Consequences were building up and everything was just out of reach. When I thought I had something sorted, some bastard would move the goal posts.
Lachlan hadn’t given up on finding financing, Darius had started dodging my calls, and living with Katie—
I loved the way the phrase, living with Katie flowed off my tongue or tried to build a home in my heart, but nothing about Katie under my roof could be called living.
If I walked into a room, she left.
If I tried to talk, she made a great show of putting ear buds in to cancel out my voice.
I’d even had flowers sent to the house, a handwritten card I’d personally dropped off to the florist.
When I found the flowers in the rubbish bin, petals removed from each rose and baby’s breath scrunched into balls of green and white, I tried to take comfort in the missing card.
If she kept it, maybe she’d read it.
If she read it, there could be a chance that one day, miracles could happen, and Katie would believe me.
Demands and Desires
Katie
Crying didn’t help.
Feeling sorry for myself just became a downward spiral of emotions that went nowhere.
Understanding how much the concept venue meant to him and how Ibby had let his ego overrule common sense didn’t help.
Spending hours on his treadmill or working the punching bag in his little-used home gym proved a great way to get rid of excess energy but did nothing for my mood.
I spent more time strapping into boxing gloves designed for a male fist than punching the bag. Not even imagining Ibby’s face helped.
Or, maybe it did.
I didn’t want to hate him.
I didn’t want to hurt him, or for him to get hurt by Garrison.
What I desperately wanted, was a way for this to be a misunderstanding. For the whole deal to have been words taken out of context. I wanted to believe Ibby had been innocent, naïve in agreeing to a deal with the devil.
It had only been a day since Ibby’s confession, but I alternated between living in slow motion and fast forward. Unable to sit, or sleep, or even hit a bloody punching bag on repeat.
I couldn’t see into the future. I couldn’t even see past today.
I wandered through the house, ignoring my increased security detail, looking for Ibby.
Gone to check on a few leads. I’ll pick up dinner on the way home. Albeh elik Ibby
The note rested on the benchtop next to the rubbish bin. I’d made no effort to hide the flowers, wanting him to see they’d meant nothing to me.
Albeh elik. Translated, Ibby had written my heart is yours.
Damn the man.
I wanted to hate him. Not find more reasons to love him.
I needed a second opinion, from someone who’d know if I’d been just a business transaction. From someone who owed me the truth or would have his own consequences.
Darius. He might owe Ibby bro-code loyalty, but his wife was also my friend.
I needed to know whether Ibby had given me his heart, or whether it was just another lie. I wanted a reason not to give up on a relationship that felt real.
“Hey, Katie,” Darius said and before I could respond, “I’ll hand you over to Tara.”
“Hi Katie, watsup?”
If I was the buxom blonde, Tara was tall, dark and graceful. After falling for man-whore Ibby, I’d tried to hide my feelings and make him jealous by flirting with his business partner. I’d seen the way he looked at Tara and knew my flirting landed on safe ears. Tara and I could laugh about it now, but it had taken hours of working together before she could trust me with her man. Calling Darius might have been a mistake, but he had the answers I needed, not his wife.
“Tara, I need to know about Ibby’s deal with Garrison.”
“That’s got nothing to do with The Club.”
“I know, but does Darius know about any additional security Ibby might have put up?”
Tara paused, “Honey, she wants to talk about Ibby, not The Club.”
“Katie, what’s the fucker done this time?” Darius didn’t mince words.
“I don’t
know.” Even if Ibby had told Darius about the deal, there was no reason to let on how much I knew. “Ibby says it’s not safe for me to work but won’t tell me why.”
“I wish I knew what to tell you, Ibby keeps his businesses separate.”
In the background, I heard Tara urging, “You said it was about to go down. She deserves to know. You’ve got to tell her.”
“Darius, please,” I begged, hoping Darius couldn’t resist the charms of two women. Who was I kidding? Darius had been resisting the charms and attentions of women from the moment he decided Tara was the one. Luckily, the lovely Tara was on my side. “Whatever’s going on, it has something to do with Chelle and me. I have the right to know.”
“He made a deal with the devil, okay?” Darius didn’t hide his contempt. “Rumor has it, Ibby can’t come up with the cash.”
“What’s that got to do with me?”
“Garrison’s got a reputation for making his deals, interesting.”
“I don’t know what that even means,” I sighed. This had been a waste of time.
“D, tell her,” Tara repeated in the background.
“Okay,” Darius said to either Tara or me, or maybe both. “Katie, listen. You’ve always had a thing for Ibby, right?”
“I guess.” Even after the last two days, I hadn’t been able to change my heart. Yes, if Ibby’s heart was mine, my heart was also well and truly his. Damn him.
“Ibby and I bought into The Club because of the side benefits. Neither of us lived like monks.”
“So, I heard.”
“It took Tara to turn me into a one-woman man. The love of a bad woman and all that shit!” Darius laughed as I heard Tara take mock offense.
“I know, Ibby is still a player. I’ve seen the women, read their posts.” No matter how many flowers he sent me or poetic words he wrote, I knew as soon as I moved out, Ibby would be back to rotating women through his bed.
If I couldn’t find a way to hate him, I needed to love him enough to—no I couldn’t. I’d hate every woman who tried to tame him and hopefully one day learn to hate him enough to let him go.
“My point is, Tara’s my woman and I don’t want or need variety anymore.”
“Lucky Tara.” I tried to hide my bitterness and jealousy. Not that I wanted Darius, but I wanted the happily ever after that Tara had found.
“For Ibby, it’s you.” Darius let his words sink in. “He might have taken a while to realize it, but there’s no doubt.”
“How does Garrison fit into things?”
“If it was obvious to us, then others would have known. Like you said, Ibby’s been a player and to see him fall for a woman? Garrison likes to have fun with his deals and putting you on the table was just Garrison messing with Ibby’s head. Spicing up a deal. Under any other circumstances, Ibby’s nightclubs would have paid Garrison back in a couple of months.”
“Then why didn’t it? If Garrison’s a businessman, why would he mess with Ibby’s nightclubs and put the loan at risk?”
“Look, I don’t know about the abduction thing. I think Garrison started off using you to mess with Ibby’s head and to make the deal interesting. Somehow, either Garrison got real feels or it’s become a game of egos.”
“It’s not fair.”
“I know, and Ibby’s the first to say he shouldn’t have done a deal with Garrison. From what I know, he’s been trying to get out of it from day one.”
“Thanks, and tell Chelle I miss her?”
“Sure thing, kiddo. Look, Ibby’s smart and will sort this out. The four of us will be double-dating before you know it.”
Even if Darius believed in fairytales, I didn’t.
We ate in silence.
Or at least, I remained silent.
It had started off as an act of defiance, but now became a habit. As soon as Ibby came into the room, I popped in my ear buds.
What Ibby couldn’t know, was that my music was on mute. The ear buds were for show, allowing me to hear his conversations with the security detail, phone calls about the clubs.
I could hear all the loving things he’d found the freedom to say, without the responsibility of knowing I heard everything.
While Ibby took in plates of food for Grizz and Boomer in the loungeroom, I started washing up. With my hair in a high ponytail, the ear buds were visible and Ibby had no reason to think I could hear his phone call.
“Mama, you’ll meet her. I’m sorry about the lunch but I promise you’ll meet her—soon, yes, you’ll meet her soon and you’ll love her as much as I do. This is new for both of us—I know, which is why we want to take things slowly.”
He loved me.
Not only did he love me, but he’d told his mother.
A son didn’t lie to his mother, not about something like that.
I could pretend not to hear when he said the words while I washed up, back to him and ear buds in. I could pretend not to hear when he stood at my bedroom door, eyes closed. I’d even been able to ignore his handwritten words on the card now carefully hidden under my pillow.
But hearing him admit to loving me while talking to his mother?
Damn him. Damn him to hell and back.
“Katie, babe?”
If only I could hold firm, not allow any reaction give away my secret. I’d heard, I knew.
Filling the sink with hot water should have drowned out any hope to hear him, even when he stood right behind me. Ibby had no expectation that I could hear him, giving him the space and confidence for honesty. Hell, I bloody well deserved it, even if I had to pretend to remain oblivious.
“Katie.” I felt his breath only centimeters away from my neck. “Fuck it, I love you. If only you’d hear me out, I need your advice on one last chance. I need you. I love you and if you’ll ever listen to me, I promise you’ll hear those words every day for the rest of your life.”
I could blink away tears, but not hide my shoulders from heaving from the heavy sobs. Trying to hold firm, to believe his words were too little and too late. I couldn’t weaken now.
Ibby had offered Chelle and me up as a piece of meat.
“Katie?”
His soft whisper, almost a prayer. I tried to forget how safe and loved he made me feel. Curled in his arms, his bed.
I’d never felt so loved. Which only meant his betrayal cut deeper.
Before I could give up the pretense of not listening, Ibby’s phone rang.
“What?” Over the course of the dozens of phone calls, Ibby’s frustration had become more defiant. No longer pleading for support, he’d reverted to the Ibby I fell in love with. In control. Confident. This time, without the arrogance.
“Do it.” This time a longer pause before he cut someone off, “I heard you the first time and believe me, I understand.”
“Mate, I don’t give a fuck. Just do it, get it done and get back to me.”
Perhaps the person didn’t understand because Ibby let out a long sigh, “Fine. I’ll be there in half an hour.”
For long seconds, even minutes, Ibby stood behind me. If only he’d ask, I’d turn to him. If only he touched my shoulder, or rested a hand on my hip, I’d melt into his arms. If he kissed my neck, I’d cover his with more.
Softly, Ibby said, “Just remember, I love you and everything I do, I’m doing for you.”
I stifled another sob, turned but he’d already gone.
The man I loved left. To save his woman, me. To slay his devil, Garrison.
I’d taken too long to forgive him. One minute, even two minutes earlier, and I could have talked him out of doing anything stupid.
Ibby didn’t come home.
I’d waited out in the loungeroom, curled up in the chair closest to the front door. If Ibby came home, I’d know. But he didn’t.
Six months ago, and I’d be wondering which woman or how many women.
Now, I trusted his heart was mine, but that was no consolation. What the hell had he done, and why hadn’t he come home.
Anot
her day spent trapped in his home, and I took the chance to get to know him. Through the handwritten recipes filling copious notebooks in his study. The drawer full of family photos, mostly black and whites or instant polaroids, probably his parents or grandparents. There was even a box of boxing ribbons and trophies stashed in the bottom of his TV cabinet.
Each item became a snippet into the man, and I wanted to hug them close. But nothing carried his scent. Desperate, I chanced opening his bedroom door.
Ibby.
The mix of woodgrain and club smells, sweat and deodorant were decidedly Ibby. He might as well have surrounded me in a bear hug.
If only he’d come home. I wanted to text, tell him nothing mattered other than us. That we could work through the Garrison issue, together. That there were things he needed to know, and I wanted to tell him, in person.
I smiled at the pile of laundry next to the door to his ensuite. Such a man. Would sooner jump over a pile of clothes than take them downstairs and put them through the washing machine, but he’d also forbidden me to do it for him.
Feeling almost embarrassed at my need to hold onto something Ibby I picked up a bundle of his shirts. Closed my eyes and drank in the scent of him. If only I could forget what Garrison had shown me. Within minutes, his black work shirt was drenched, and I pulled the bundle of clothes onto his bed.
I’d been crazy to try and sleep downstairs when I could have been here. Lying in the bed that had been ours.
I stared up at the ceiling. To my right was the walled garden between the bedroom and the shower. The green foliage and glass panels only the illusion of privacy. All the better for me to watch him soap his muscular body under flowing water. It had felt almost voyeuristic, but I could time joining him to perfection. His job was to cover our bodies with soap, mine was to wash him clean.
In only days, the deadline would pass. Would it be safe for me to leave? I wanted space for us to fight and argue without the external threats hanging over our heads. I wanted a normal relationship, but there was nothing normal about Ibby and me. He was my boss, and even if he did follow through and pay for my university, I’d just resigned and needed to find a new job.
Hard Bargain: a Billionaire Suspense Romance (City Sinners Book 3) Page 21