by Stacy Eaton
“Oh, come on.” I took hold of Devon and pulled him against my chest again, and then held my hand out for the bottle. The moment I put the nipple to his mouth, he latched on again.
I frowned down at Devon as Trevor spoke. “You sure you don’t want to take him home with you? He likes you much better than me.”
Chapter Five
Trevor
I was at my wit's end. I’d never been so stressed in my life. Put me into the middle of a battlefield with guns firing all around me and I could think perfectly clear. Put a baby in my arms, and I was a total idiot.
I had tried everything, and nothing was working. Lexi had been kind enough to not only pick up a car seat, but a small baby bed and some other important things like more bottles. My kitchen looked like an IED filled with baby paraphernalia had gone off with baby shit all over the place.
When Devon wouldn’t quiet down, and I was ready to throw my hands up in the air and run screaming, I finally did what I said I wasn’t going to do. I picked up the phone and called Davina. Maybe she could calm him down or at least show me what I was doing wrong.
I paced by the front window as Devon continued to scream, and I was thankful that I was an end unit, and my neighbor downstairs was an old woman who was very hard of hearing. The one on the other side of me worked nights. If I’d had other neighbors, they probably would have called the cops for a noise disturbance. Jesus, how did people deal with this?
I watched her car pull up and turned back to Devon. “Backup is here, little dude. Hold on.” I took the stairs quickly and yanked open the door. She jumped back, her eyes wide.
When she stepped in, she paused momentarily, then practically threw a heavy shoulder bag at me before rushing up the stairs. By the time I got to the top landing, she had Devon in her arms, and he was already quieting down.
I stared at her, completely in awe. “How did you do that?”
She was rubbing his back and spoke softly to the baby before looking at me. “How did I do what?”
“Get him to quiet down so damn fast?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Get a bottle for him.”
I rushed into the kitchen to get what she’d asked for and then came back to her a few minutes later. The moment she put the bottle to Devon’s mouth, he started sucking, and I stood there shell-shocked.
“I’m serious, how did you do that? I’ve tried to feed him four different times, and not once would he take the bottle.”
She removed the bottle from Devon’s lips, and he started to cry immediately. “Here, you take Devon, and let’s see if we can change that.”
“But he’s crying again.” I wanted to run away, and that was totally unlike me.
She rolled her eyes at me. “Just take Devon.”
I took him again and then went to sit down. She gave me back the bottle, and Devon fussed, not wanting to take it from me. “See, he doesn’t like me!”
“Oh, come on,” She pulled him from my arms again and curled him against her chest, putting the bottle back to his lips.
“You sure you don’t want to take him home with you? He likes you much better than me.”
“He knows me, Trevor; he doesn’t know you. You’re tense when you hold him; you need to relax a little bit.”
“Relax? How the hell am I supposed to relax? This is the most stressful situation that I have ever been in.”
“Yes, and he can tell that. You’ll get used to it.”
I closed my eyes, not sure I wanted to get used to it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to have anything to do with any of this. I sure as hell hadn’t signed up for being a father. What the hell had Carol been thinking?
“Why didn’t she tell me about this? Don’t you think I had the right to know?”
“I thought you did, but it wasn’t my decision.”
“How did you find me?”
She sighed long and loud. “She had a notebook with information in it. Your phone numbers and where you worked were listed. I was trying to get in touch with you for a week.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know who the number was that kept calling me, and I was overseas. When you didn’t leave a message, I figured it was a bullshit telemarketer or something.”
“Yeah, I guess I don’t answer my phone to numbers I don’t know either very often.”
“Did Carol ever explain to you why she didn’t want to tell me?”
Sadness filtered down over her features. “Not really. She told me that if this were the only time she would have with her baby, then she didn’t want to share it. She had told me that if she survived, she would have come to see you after he was born.”
I shook my head. “How could she decide to carry a child that she knew might kill her?”
“I don’t know,” Davina said quietly.
I leaned back on the couch, suddenly completely exhausted, and watched her feeding my son. My son. That rocked me to the core. If you had asked me if I wanted kids, I would have said maybe, but I might have been just as happy without ever having one. With the unexpected arrival of Devon, I didn’t know what to think anymore.
Davina was staring down at Devon’s face, brushing a finger over his cheek, and for the first time I looked at her, I mean, really looked at her. Her dark hair was in a messy clip at the top of her head, and her face was round, her lips full. Her skin was devoid of any makeup and yet looked flawless.
She lifted her gaze to mine, and I stared into her whiskey-colored eyes. “Why are you staring at me?”
“I’m not.”
She laughed uncomfortably and adjusted Devon slightly. “Yes, you are.”
“Okay, so maybe I was just looking at you.”
Her forehead lined, and she looked away. “Why didn’t you ever call Carol again after that weekend?”
“I went overseas.”
“You were overseas the entire time?”
“No.” I shook my head. “After my weekend with her, I was gone for two months.”
“But you didn’t try to call her when you got back,” she stated, and I thought I caught a little bit of anger in her voice.
“No, I didn’t. Carol knew that I probably wasn’t going to.”
“You know, that’s pretty rude.” She glared at me. “You spend a romantic weekend with her and then just walk away, never call her again.”
“Hey.” I reached out and touched the knee that she had curled under her. “Carol knew that our weekend was just that. A weekend of fun.”
“Fun? You got her pregnant, and it killed her. How much fun is that?” I heard the anger in her voice.
“She said she was on birth control, Davina. I didn’t do it intentionally, and if I had known that she was pregnant, I would have been in touch with her.”
“Would you? Would you have wanted her to have the baby knowing that it could kill her?”
“What? No! I would never have asked her to do that.”
“So, you would have tried to talk her into ending the pregnancy.”
I paused, letting my gaze drop to Devon. Would I have? Probably. “Maybe, yes.”
She nodded slowly and pulled the bottle away from Devon’s lips. It was empty. “Do you have a burp rag?”
“Yeah.” I climbed off the couch and went to retrieve one from the table. It was one of the things that Lexi had picked up. I handed it to her, but she shook her head.
“No, you put it on your shoulder, and you burp him. I got him quiet, and now you can do the rest.”
I froze. “You aren’t going to leave now, are you?”
“No, I’m going to work. I’ll let you get some sleep and keep an eye on him while you do.”
I took the squirmy baby from her arms and put him against my shoulder. He wiggled around until his head was tucked against my neck, and I slowly started to pat his back. “I appreciate that.”
It only took a couple of minutes before Devon let out a big burp, and then he grunted, and his entire body vibrated as a loud pft sounded through the room. I stared at Davina. �
�What the hell was that?”
She grinned at me. “Oh, you haven’t had a poopy diaper yet?”
I shook my head.
“Then you’re in for a treat. Where is his changing pad?”
“It’s on the table.”
She stared at me. “You aren’t changing him on the table, are you?”
I glanced at the table as a rotten smell hit my nose. “Um, yeah, why?”
“Because he could roll off.” She went to the table and collected the pad along with a diaper and the package of wipes. She dropped them all on the floor. “Change him on the floor.”
I stared down at my white carpet. Did I want to change a dirty diaper on my white carpeting? I guess I didn’t have any choice. I slowly got down as she shifted the items so that they were between my legs.
“Now what?”
“Change him, but beware, you’re going to need several wipes. He’s messy.”
I began to unbutton his clothes, and the smell got stronger. “Jesus, why does it smell like that?”
She chuckled. “The formula.”
“That’s disgusting.” She told me to pull out a few wipes before I opened the diaper, and thank god I did. The minute I undid the diaper, I saw it everywhere, and I gagged.
She began to laugh.
“This is not funny,” I said as I stared down at the mess in his pants and gagged again. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can.” She went back to the couch and sat down. “This is all you.”
Devon kicked his legs up in the air, and I quickly grabbed wipes and began to clean him up, turning my head to the side to try and breathe fresh air. “How does one baby poop this much?”
“That’s probably why he was so upset earlier. His tummy must have hurt.”
“I guess mine would have too if I had that much stored inside,” I replied softly as I began to clean him up. It was everywhere, and it took nine wipes to get it all as he squirmed on the pad. Finally, I got the diaper replaced and his clothes back on.
“Now what?”
“Now, you need to throw that away and try to get him to sleep again.”
I stared at the little boy on the floor; his eyes were open and staring at me. I felt that funny thing in my chest again but ignored it as I got off the floor and started to go throw the diaper away. I stopped. “Can I leave him there?”
“For a minute. It’s not like he’s going to crawl away anytime soon.”
“When does he do that?”
“I don’t know; I guess in a few months. I told you that I’m not a very maternal person.”
I went to throw the diaper out and washed my hands, keeping my eye on him as he wiggled on the floor. He was kicking his legs out and waving his arms.
“You never wanted kids?”
“It’s not that I never wanted them,” she said as she collected her bag and began to pull things out. “I just never really thought about it. I guess I just assumed that one day I would have one, but after I found someone that I loved.”
“So you’re single?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
She laughed. “Why what? You’re single right?” I nodded. “Why are you single?”
“Because of my job. I travel too much to get involved with someone.”
“Yeah, well, maybe my job is just as important to me.”
“What do you do?” I finished up in the kitchen and came back to stare down at Devon. His eyes were wide open, and he was looking at my bookcase.
“I work in IT.”
I nodded; so she was intelligent. “Now what do I do?”
“Well, he’s awake for a little while. Might as well get to know him.”
I stared at her like she had lost her mind. “And how the heck do you get to know a baby?”
“Hold him, talk to him. Let him get to know your voice.”
I frowned as I stared at Devon, but I leaned down and picked him up. His eyes stared at my face. “Hey there, little guy. I’m Trevor,” I paused, “your Dad.”
Davina snickered. “See, it’s not that hard.”
I cuddled Devon to my chest and took a seat on the other end of the couch as Davina began to type on her laptop.
As she worked beside me, I studied Devon’s face and touched his hand that was waving about. He grabbed my finger and squeezed, and just like that, that weird feeling in my chest was back.
Chapter Six
Davina
I did not want to like Trevor Vaughn; I really didn’t. In fact, I wanted to hate him, but as he talked softly to Devon about things that made no sense to me, I found myself listening more to him than doing my work.
Every once in a while, I would notice Trevor looking at me from the corner of my eye, but I pretended not to notice. He continued to sit there talking to Devon about guns and safety in strange countries, and I tried not to laugh. Those weren’t particularly subjects that I would have chosen, but Devon seemed interested as he remained quiet, once in a while cooing or grunting.
Trevor yawned so widely that I heard his jaw pop, and as I glanced over, I saw Devon yawning too, his eyes closing and then popping back open.
“You should try to get him back to sleep so you can get a nap,” I said.
Trevor turned tired eyes to me and spoke in a gravelly voice that made me almost shiver. “Yeah, and how do you suppose I do that?”
I studied him for a moment, thinking over something I had done previously after reading about it on the internet. “Take your shirt off.”
His eyes popped wide. “Excuse me?”
“Take your shirt off, then lay him on your chest so that his ear is to your heart. That soothes babies.”
“And you know this how?”
“I read it on the internet. It worked once or twice for me when he was really cranky.”
He gave me a lopsided smirk. “You took your shirt off and laid him on your chest?”
I lifted my chin higher. “Yes. Do you have a problem with that?”
His gaze drifted down my face to my chest and then back up before he replied, “No.”
I hated the fact that my body had slightly responded to his slow appraisal. He was a womanizer, and I wasn’t interested in a man like that. Hell, I wasn’t interested in any man right now. Not until my classes were over and I got my master’s, then I could think about a relationship—maybe.
Not that I wanted a relationship with Trevor Vaughn. Nope. No way. Forget it.
He laid Devon down on the couch between us and pulled his t-shirt over his head. I didn’t want to notice, and I sure as hell didn’t want to stare, but damn, he had a nice chest for a man around forty. I felt my face flush as I lifted my gaze to his and found him watching me carefully.
For a long moment, the two of us stared at one another, and then I forced myself to look away. “Now lay him on your chest and lean back a little bit.”
He picked up Devon and shifted the squirmy baby to his chest as he leaned back slightly, resting his head against a pillow he’d put behind his head. Devon wiggled against his chest, and I suddenly envied the little guy. How long had it been since I’d cuddled up to a man’s chest? Years? And when was the last time that I had ever curled myself around someone that had a chiseled chest? Um, never.
“You’re staring at me,” he said softly.
I lifted my eyes to his and quickly looked away. I didn’t want to be drawn to this man. “Just making sure he’s okay.”
“You weren’t checking out my brawny chest?” I heard the humor in his voice and rolled my eyes.
“You’re not my type.”
“Yeah, what’s your type, Davina Daniels?”
“Not someone like you,” I replied. To be honest, I had no idea what my type was. I guess if I had to explain it to someone, I preferred someone stable, calm, intelligent, and not someone who just wanted to sleep with me and then walk away.
He laughed. “Not someone like me.” I saw him nod. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Yeah, you do that, I thought to myself. His hand was rubbing circles on Devon’s back, and Devon stopped wiggling and grew quiet. I forced myself to focus on what I was doing and glanced to my side after a few minutes. Both Devon and Trevor seemed to have slipped off to sleep.
I couldn’t see Devon’s face, but his back rose and fell steadily. My attention went to the man holding him, and I found myself mesmerized by the strong arms wrapped around the child. He had long, thin fingers, and my gaze traveled up his arms to his biceps, which were not bulging, but nicely toned and strong. His shoulders were broad, but not football-player wide, and his neck wasn’t as thick and beefy as some men I knew. His lips were parted slightly, and his features looked relaxed for the first time since I’d met him.
I could definitely see what Carol had seen in him. He was very masculine and extremely attractive. His eyes popped open and latched on to mine. “Yes?”
I startled and quickly looked away. “Nothing, I thought you were sleeping.”
He chuckled slightly. “And you thought it was safe to check me out.”
“I was not checking you out.”
“Yes, you were.”
I turned to him. “Just because I was looking at you doesn’t mean I was checking you out, Trevor. I was making sure that Devon was sleeping and that you looked comfortable and wouldn’t drop him.”
He grinned and closed his eyes. “Yeah, if you say so.”
“How did you know that I was looking at you anyway?”
“Instinct. I’m pretty good at that. I could feel you staring at me.”
“You could not,” I muttered.
“Oh, yes, I could. You were staring at me so hard; I could feel it.”
My brows popped; how the hell did you feel someone looking at you? “Whatever.”
I went back to my work, and a few moments later, something made me turn my gaze back to him. He was staring at me now. “What?”
“Did you feel that?”
“Feel what?” I asked softly as Devon shifted.
“Feel me staring at you?”
“No.”
“Then why did you suddenly look at me?”