The Earl with the Secret Past

by Janice Preston

  ‘How do you feel?’

  ‘I feel fine.’ He pushed himself into a sitting position and began to swing his legs from the bed.

  ‘No.’ Kitty grabbed his shoulders, preventing him from rising. ‘You must not...the doctor said you must rest.’

  But Adam was in no mood for more sleep.

  ‘I wish tae get up. I have been confined to this bed for days,’ he grumbled.

  Kitty shook her head. ‘You have not. You are exaggerating. The fire was just two days ago, and it is only ten o’clock in the morning now.’

  Adam scowled. ‘We need to talk, Kitty, and it is not a talk I wish to have while lying in bed. I want tae get up and I want tae get dressed. I have waited two days to hear why you refused me and I willna wait any longer.’

  He recalled all too clearly his stomach roiling with a mix of conflicting emotions as he rode to meet her: doubts and hopes; fear and joy. She’d told him in the barn, time after time, that she loved him, but did that mean their problems were resolved and that she would agree to marry him?

  ‘I need to understand, Kitty. I need to know. I cannae rest with these vexatious questions nipping at me.’

  She bit into her bottom lip, and desire surged through him. That decided him—if he was well enough to want to drag her into the bed and kiss her senseless, he was damned well fit enough to get dressed and sit in a chair to talk. He threw back the bedcovers.

  ‘Ye have two choices, Kitty, my love. Ye can wait there and watch me while I wash and dress myself, or ye can ring the bell for Corbett to come and help me and then ye can wait downstairs.’

  Wordlessly, Kitty went to pull the bell. ‘I shall await you in the drawing room.’ She stuck her nose in the air—making Adam grin—and then she left the room.

  * * *

  Corbett—Uncle Grenville’s valet, who had been attending to Adam’s needs while he was confined to bed—had soon appeared and helped Adam with his ablutions before assisting him to dress. By the time Adam was fully clothed he felt more human, and more than ready to discuss their future with Kitty. Apart from a slight tenderness from the bump on his head, he appeared to be suffering no residual effects from the attack.

  He went downstairs and to the drawing room where Kitty was sitting, waiting. She watched him through narrowed eyes as he entered the room and crossed to sit in the matching chair to hers.

  ‘I am not an invalid,’ he said. ‘Ye need not watch my every move.’

  ‘If you say so,’ Kitty said, with a sweet smile. ‘I ordered a tea tray. Shall I pour you a cup?’

  I’d rather something stronger.

  He needed fortification, but tea would have to suffice. He could bear no further delays. His gaze grazed over Kitty, finding comfort in her presence as he drank in her creamy skin and her clear grey eyes. Those full, pink lips. The craving to taste them again filled him, but he put it aside for the time.

  Kitty had promised him the reason behind her refusal of him and the need to know...the need to understand...overshadowed any number of cravings for a kiss. She had stayed at Kelridge Place since the fire and, as far as Adam was concerned, she could stay for ever. He could not bear for her not to be here, with him, near him. This was where she belonged, but he was aware that if Kitty had refused his offer of marriage despite loving him as she claimed, her reason must be a powerful one. And this would be his best, and possibly only, chance to persuade her to change her mind.

  His nerves wound tight and he hauled in a breath.

  ‘Why did you say no, Kitty?’

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Kitty’s hand jerked at the suddenness of Adam’s question, slopping tea into the saucer of the cup she was pouring. Her gaze snapped to his and she saw a tumult of emotions in his blue eyes: pain; fear; hope. Her heart cracked.

  She was the cause of all those feelings. Her main reason for refusing his proposal might have been a selfless one, but at what cost?

  There had been several reasons—or maybe they had been excuses—why she had shied away from getting too close to Adam after meeting him again. Some of those reasons had dropped away as time passed and no longer could she fear opening her heart to love again, for it was too late. The barriers she had erected had tumbled. She already loved Adam; her heart was open and vulnerable and already hurting.

  But the main reason remained. Insurmountable.

  If only she could make him understand how her inability to have a baby would risk blighting their love in the future. She feared he would be reluctant to listen to her reasoning, but she hoped his pain would be less, knowing she refused him out of love.

  The silence stretched as tight as Kitty’s nerves and, as she handed the teacup and saucer to Adam, her hand was shaking. Adam took the cup and frowned.

  ‘Ye asked to meet me yesterday to tell me the truth as to why ye said no even though ye say ye love me. Please...tell me now. And tell me what I can do to change your mind.’

  She rubbed her hands over her cheeks, searching for the words to help him understand.

  ‘Kitty...’ Adam put his cup down and slid to the floor, kneeling before her. ‘I love you.’ He cradled her face between his hands. His blue eyes pierced her, searching. ‘I have loved you for fifteen long years... I fell in love with ye then and I have loved you ever since. Ye know now that I only denied my love for you to stop ye throwing yourself away on an architect’s apprentice, fearing that, in time, ye’d grow to resent being tied to a man of my lowly status.’

  Kitty laid her hand over his as it cupped her cheek. His words had struck a chord with her. It was the same message she had been telling herself...the same reason she had refused his offer of marriage without explanation...the fear that, in time, he would come to resent being tied to a woman who could not give him a child.

  But there would be no magical reprieve for her: Adam had found himself to be the son of an earl; Kitty would still be unable to conceive a child and give him the heir he would need.

  ‘Adam...’ She turned her face into his palm and pressed her lips to his warm skin, swallowing past the painful lump that constricted her throat. She had almost lost him yesterday and now she must risk losing him for good. ‘I know you were shocked when I refused to marry you, but was willing to have an affaire with you, but I had...have...a very good reason for that offer.’

  She paused, willing her emotions under control. This reason...this reality of her life...had caused her so much pain in the past and now it was to cost her the man she loved if she could not persuade him to accept her offer.

  ‘Adam, I am barren. I was married to Edgar for ten years without getting with child.’

  Adam’s dark eyebrows bunched as his eyes searched hers.

  ‘Kitty, ye cannot think that matters to me.’ His hands slid from her face to clasp her shoulders. ‘I want you as my wife and that is far more important to me than whether we have children. I love you. I want to have ye in my life for ever. Till death us do part.’

  She saw by his puzzled expression that he had not appreciated the full implications of her bald confession. She quelled the misery and the pain that the subject cost her, knowing she must make him understand.

  ‘Adam, this is not just about whether or not you become a father. You are now a peer of the realm. You have a duty to secure the lineage of your family and of the earldom, quite apart from your responsibilities to your workers and your tenants. You must at least give yourself a chance to sire an heir.’

  Adam’s frown deepened. His hands slipped from her shoulders to the arms of her chair, which he used to push himself to his feet. He sat back down on the companion chair, his blue eyes never once straying from her face, while she fought to keep her expression from revealing the full depth of her misery.

  ‘Kitty...my darling...do you really...?’ He stopped, and swiped one hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. His chest expanded and
he shook his head. ‘You speak of duty and of responsibility. I think only of love. Of need. Of making my life, and yours, as happy as I can humanly make them. Kitty...my love...a few months ago I had no notion of titles or estates. I did not ask for them. I will go so far as to say I did not want them. If not for you...’ His voice trembled and he cleared his throat. ‘If not for you, Kitty, I should have returned to Scotland within a fortnight and left the lot in my uncle’s hands.’

  She searched his expression, hope rising despite her best efforts to deny it. Could it be that easy, after all her anguish and heart-searching? Did he really not care who might succeed him? The notion was utterly foreign to her...never had she ever known a nobleman who did not care whether or not he had a son capable of continuing his bloodline.

  Adam leaned towards her, reaching out, and she placed her hands in his. With one powerful tug he pulled her across to his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist. He nuzzled her neck, kissing her.

  ‘I never expected any of this, Kitty, and I do not care who might inherit it when I am gone.’

  ‘You cannot mean that, Adam. You—’

  He pressed his fingers to her lips. ‘I do mean it. Every word of it. I am sorry for your sake you cannot have a child, but you must believe me when I tell you that what is important to me is you.’

  She shook her head, still trying to deny that swell of hope. ‘You do not mean it. You have not thought properly about it.’

  He gripped her chin and turned her face to his, capturing her gaze.

  ‘Who is my heir now, Kitty?’

  ‘Your Uncle Grenville.’

  ‘And after him?’

  ‘Tolly.’

  ‘And Tolly...he is a good man, is he not?’

  Kitty nodded, that sense of hope burgeoning as she gave up the fight to suppress it.

  ‘Then tell me again why I must sire an heir when there are two good men ready to take on the mantle of the earldom. Although I confess I would rather live long enough to deprive my uncle of that honour.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘But nothing, my sweet. I have no need to think about it. Tolly will make a fine earl—let him worry about siring an heir and perpetuating our line. Our marriage will be no different to countless other couples who get married every day. They wed, and they face the possibility they may not be blessed with children. It is a gamble. Some married couples produce one child. Some produce a dozen, or even more. But nobody knows, when they make their vows to one another, what their destiny will be.’

  Kitty gasped. ‘I never thought of it like that.’

  Adam kissed her, tiny kisses peppered all over her face.

  ‘I promise you, my dearest love, that is exactly how I will view our union—if you will have me. The fate of the title and the estates simply do not feature in my plans for the future.’

  Emotion welled up, blurring her vision. So much wasted time. So much pain. Adam gently passed his thumb beneath her eyes, one after the other.

  ‘Don’t cry, sweeting,’ he whispered. ‘Don’t cry, or you will have me in tears, too.’

  Her throat ached as she summoned up a smile. ‘A big brave man like you, in tears?’ she teased.

  ‘I am brave enough to admit I have cried,’ he whispered, his voice raw. ‘I cried when I left ye fifteen years ago and I cried when ye turned me down.’

  His fingers curled around her scalp, urging her face to his. She opened her mouth as his lips covered hers, pouring every ounce of her love for him into her kiss.

  Too soon, he pulled back and captured her gaze again.

  ‘Kitty...’ His eyes glowed with love, tinged with uncertainty. ‘Will ye please put me out of my misery? Please say ye will have me. Say ye will marry me.’

  Her heart bloomed with love for him.

  ‘Oh, yes, my darling Adam. Yes, I will marry you.’

  The doubts that had plagued Adam ever since they met again vanished and he finally...finally...could allow himself to believe in a happy ever after for him and for Kitty. He seized her lips in a searing kiss that lasted a long time. A very long time.

  When he eventually drew back, he tipped his head to one side. ‘Will I have to ask Robert his permission?’

  Kitty gave him a puzzled smile, then laughed. ‘He is my stepson, not my stepfather,’ she said, giving his shoulder a light slap. ‘Of course we do not need his permission, as you well know. Besides...he already knows, more or less.’

  She told him how Robert had followed Adam into the woods and seen their trysts. Adam laughed.

  ‘I suppose we must be grateful we did nothing more scandalous than kiss in those days. I should hate to have corrupted such a young lad.’

  He took her lips in another long, dreamy kiss. This time it was Kitty who ended it, leaning back against his encircling arms to search his face with suddenly serious grey eyes.

  ‘You will still permit me to write my novels, Adam? My new one is almost complete now and I have had the most splendid idea for an exciting finish.’

  He shook his head, then concealed his smile at her suddenly crestfallen expression.

  ‘Kitty...you goose! I will not permit you because you do not—and will never—need my permission for anything you wish to do. Unless, of course, ye decide to run inside a burning building again. For that, my dearest love, ye will never have my permission. No more heroics. Are we quite clear about that?’

  ‘Crystal clear, my darling.’

  She kissed him, her smooth lips caressing his as the tip of her tongue teased his mouth to open. He needed little encouragement, tightening his arms around her waist again as he tasted her sweetness. Then she straightened.

  ‘But,’ she said, ‘the fire was a valuable experience. Just think how real it will be when I write it—it will be truly authentic.’

  ‘Authen—? Kitty! Is that the exciting ending you have planned?’

  ‘Well...’ She hung her head, then peeped at him from the corner of her eye. Adam bit back a laugh, keeping a frown on his face.

  ‘But, Adam, my darling...it will be truly marvellous. The heroine rescues the hero, who then realises how very much he loves her and—’

  ‘But I already knew how much I loved you. It was you who was hiding her true feelings.’

  Kitty waved a hand dismissively. ‘Details,’ she said. ‘I am sure my readers will prefer the hero to be the one who refuses to submit to his true feelings.’

  He couldn’t help it. He laughed.

  Trust his Kitty. And, at last, this was the Kitty he remembered.

  * * *

  If you enjoyed this book, be sure to read

  The Beauchamp Heirs miniseries by Janice Preston

  Lady Olivia and the Infamous Rake

  Daring to Love the Duke’s Heir

  Christmas with his Wallflower Wife

  Keep reading for an excerpt from Conveniently Wed to the Viking by Michelle Styles.

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  Conveniently Wed to the Viking

  by Michelle Styles

  Prologue

  Autumn 874—the Kingdom of Maerr,

  on the west coast of modern-day Norway

  How were you supposed to tell your brother, your oldest and most revered brother, that you were the one responsible for his beloved wife’s death?

  Sandulf Sigurdsson sat cradling his injured sword arm and watching the path from the north for his brother’s imminent return. He was no closer to answering that question than he had been when his father’s helmsman had pulled him from the smouldering wreckage of the longhouse.

  The last thing his eldest brother had said to him before he le
ft was, ‘I’m counting on you, Sandulf, to watch over my beloved and keep her safe.’

  Sandulf had tried. As the youngest, Sandulf had spent his entire life trying to keep up with his four older brothers, trying to get them to see a grown man worthy of their respect with four warring seasons under his belt instead of the small boy toddling around behind them waving his wooden sword. He thought he’d put those doubts to rest this last summer when the action he had taken had turned the tide of the battle. Certainly, his father had approved and welcomed him officially to the strategic discussions they had had after the victory, but his brothers, particularly Brandt, had been dismissive and continued to tease him.

  Inside the longhouse, he’d found the perfect spot for Ingrid to sit after she’d confessed to feeling unsteady before the ceremony started. It was a spot near one of the doors so she could get outside easily if the air became too close in her advanced state of pregnancy. He’d even found her a cushion so that her back could be eased and a dish of her favourite honeyed plums before she had the chance to complain. She’d laughed, offered him a plum and commented what a good husband he’d make some lucky woman when his time came.

  Then the chaos had erupted.

  From sweetened plums and laughter to a charnel killing house filled with blood and smoke in the space of five breaths.

  In less than the time it took for a spark to fly up from the fire and die, his father, the great and fearsome King of Maerr, protector of the family, had had his reign cut short in the most brutal fashion. His middle brother’s fiancée and her father’s throats had been slit as they entered the supposed sanctuary of the longhouse. Flaming torches were tossed on to the rush-covered floor before anyone realised the doors had been bolted.

  Despite the choking smoke swirling about the longhouse, Sandulf had attempted to fulfil his promise and get his charge to safety before giving in to his natural inclinations and attacking the murderers. But with her large pregnant belly, Ingrid’s movements had been slow and awkward. After discovering the bolted door next to them, he had ushered her towards the concealed door behind the high table, the one his father had insisted only the family should know about.