Silent Circle

by Cassandra Larsen

  “You’re sure you’re not going to skip out again?” English was one of the classes I missed last Friday with Olivia, after the whole Caiden/perfume meltdown thing.

  “I’ll be there. Now let go!”

  He jerks his hand away like he’s been burned, his eyes wide with shock. I storm down the hall to the chorus of laughter and jeering. Great. This little encounter will be all over the school by the time I get to first period.

  * * *

  The morning is awful. In every class, somebody has some smart ass comment to make, some insult to throw at me. I ignore it all. Pretending indifference is a skill I developed early on.

  At least Olivia shows up in third period. I strut over to my usual seat, ignoring the snide comments I receive along the way. I catch sight of Arianna watching me from the corner of her eye, like she wants to stare like everyone else, but doesn’t want me to catch her doing it. Hmm… She usually sits with Caiden’s group at lunch. Can she be a witch too?

  I jump when Olivia kicks my chair. She holds up her phone, eyeing me impatiently. I forget about Arianna and take out my cell to see her text:

  Liv: So, how was seb’s surprise?

  I smile, remembering, and start texting her back under the desk.

  Me: Great – He was really sweet. We went to the beach to watch the sunrise. It was amazing...

  Liv: Glad u guys r back together : )

  Liv: OMG, did you hear about josh? Mei was SOOOOO upset!

  Me: No, what happened????

  Liv: After u left the party, josh hooked up with brittany!

  Me: OMG! That skank! How is Mei??

  Liv: U kno her – she’s pretending it doesn’t bother her, but it does. U shud have seen her face at the party! They were, like, making out right in front of her! When they went upstairs, I thought she was gonna cry!

  Me: God, thats terrible!

  Liv: I kno, right!?

  Me: So... U never told me about ur date???

  Liv: Nothing to tell... his name was zach, we didn't hit it off...

  Me: Why not?

  Liv: Dunno – he was all quiet and shy... Not my type...

  Me: Well, ur type hasn’t exactly been working for u, maybe it’s time to change types ; )

  Olivia makes a face at me, then quickly hides her phone as Mrs. Goodman calls on her to explain the reasons for the Revolutionary War.

  * * *

  I walk into lunch to see Olivia and Sebastian leaning close together, whispering. Sebastian looks angry, Olivia placating. My breath freezes in my lungs. Did he hear about this morning with Caiden?

  They both immediately stop talking when I walk over. The sudden silence is uncomfortable.

  “Hey babe.” Sebastian smiles at me, wrapping an arm around me when I sit down next to him. I look at him, then at Olivia.

  “Everything okay?”

  “It is now,” he says, grinning.

  I look back and forth between them again, but Sebastian doesn’t look angry anymore. I must have imagined it. As he pulls me in closer, whispering breaks out around the room. This is getting ridiculous. What do I need to do to end the gossip?

  I lean up to Sebastian, and in plain view of the entire school, I wrap my arms around him and kiss him, deepening it until I’m practically plastered against him, then I back away smiling. That’ll give them something to talk about.

  Seb grins at me again. “Letting everyone know I’m yours, huh?” I roll my eyes at him, ignoring the twinge of guilt in my stomach.

  “Better not let Caiden see that,” Josh taunts, sitting down across from Sebastian. “Your new boy toy might not like it.”

  “Josh...” Olivia says, giving him a look I can’t decipher.

  “Leave her alone, man,” Sebastian mutters. “It’s all cool.”

  “What’s your problem?” I snap. I’ve learned that, with this group, it’s best to strike first to avoid looking weak.

  “You know what my problem is, slut. And tell your little boyfriend the next time I see him outside of school, I’m gonna beat the shit out of him.”

  Wow. I’m blown away by the hatred in his eyes. I know Josh has never been my biggest fan, but he’s never been this openly hostile to me before.

  “Chill, Josh. Back off. She didn’t do anything,” Seb says, looking down at the table.

  “Sure, believe what you want,” Josh scoffs, focusing on his food.

  Luckily, Kayla, Mei and Chris show up, distracting everyone.

  “Have you heard about Sarah?” Kayla giggles, a vicious gleam in her eyes.

  My heart stops, the back of my neck breaking out in a sweat. “I, ummm, no. What about her?”

  “Well, after your little drama,” she begins, rolling her eyes at me. “My neighbors found her passed out drunk in their yard! Can you believe it?” She giggles again, the sound grating on my ears.

  My heart slowly restarts and I fake a laugh. “Hah... Wow. I had no Idea.” I reach into my purse and pretend interest in the granola bar I snagged for lunch.

  “Yeah, they threatened to call the cops on her! I had to beg them not to. Can you imagine what my parents would say if the cops came? And she dented Landon’s car too! He was flipping out.”

  Guilt starts creeping into my stomach. “Have you seen her yet today?”

  “In second period. She must be still hung over or something... She was completely out of it.”

  My alarm spikes. Out of it? Maybe Caiden didn’t heal her all the way. I look around the crowded lunchroom, but can’t find her.

  “Why are you so concerned about her?” Sebastian asks. “She’s a bitch.”

  Josh gives a muffled laugh at that, and I know he wants to take another jab at me. I ignore him, more important things on my mind.

  “Yeah, I know. Just curious.” I spot her in line to get food. “I’m gonna get a water. Be right back.” I walk over slowly, examining Sarah.

  She’s standing in line, her hazel eyes vacant, staring off into space. Courtney, Sarah’s best friend, tries to talk to her. Her face puckers with worry when Sarah just nods, smiling a bit, and goes back to her staring. I walk up behind them in line.

  The concern in Courtney’s blue eyes turns into poisonous glee when she spots me.

  “Why don’t you go find an empty room if you can’t wait ‘til you get home to slut it up. Better yet, a janitor’s closet, since that’s where Sebastian will be working next year anyway.” She smiles, showing off her dimples and perfect white teeth.

  “Well, we could always use the locker room...” I pretend to consider it. “That is, if you’re finished with it. Isn’t that where you did the entire football team last month?”

  The smile is wiped from her face so quickly I laugh. “It was the quarterback, you bitch. And at least he wasn’t a loser or freak like your boyfriend. Or should I say boyfriends.” She flips her short brown hair over her shoulder and turns away, ignoring me.

  Sarah doesn’t even bat an eyelash during this little catfight, which is strange in itself. She would never miss an opportunity to take a shot at me. Especially not after I insulted one of her sycophants.

  Watching her move through line like an automaton is unnerving. I grab a water when it’s my turn to pay and stop to watch Courtney lead Sarah back to their table like a small child while Landon, Sarah’s on again, off again, boyfriend glares at me.

  Something is wrong with her. And whatever it is, I caused it. I have to talk to Caiden about this. He said he’d heal her, but this is most definitely not healed.

  * * *

  As soon as I walk into seventh period English, I give Caiden a meaningful look and take a seat next to him in the back of the room, ignoring the snickering this causes. Compared to a mentally brain damaged person on my conscience, a little gossip is nothing. I turn to ask him about Sarah, but he shakes his head at me.

  *Not here.* His lips don’t move and my head starts that throbbing thing it does. I rub it, and hear Caiden’s voice in my head again. *Take a deep breath and stop fighting i
t. That’s what’s causing the headaches. Just breathe out the pain.*

  I take a deep breath and try to do as he says. Slow, deep breathing seems to help, though I probably look like I’m having an asthma attack. After a few moments, the pain fades away, replaced by a slightly uncomfortable pressure.

  *Good. Just keep doing that anytime the pain gets to be too much.*

  Mr. Bayne, our English teacher, starts his lesson, but I don’t hear a word of it. I’m too preoccupied with how strange it is to have someone speaking to me inside my head.

  I try to think my question about Sarah back at Caiden, but it doesn’t seem to get through. I scrunch up my eyes, trying to focus on what I want to ask. The throbbing comes back, but I keep ‘thinking’ at him.

  Finally, just when I’m about to give up out of pain and frustration, his head jerks around and he stares at me in shock, and a little awe.

  *How did you do that?*

  I scrunch up my forehead and try again, the throbbing slightly less painful this time.

  *Do what?*

  His eyes widen even further. *That! I shouldn’t be able to hear you.*

  *Why not? I hear you.* This mind talking thing is getting easier.

  *Yeah, but... We really need to start your training.* He sounds anxious, though I don’t know why. Isn’t it a good thing that I’m catching on so quickly? I try to convey that question to him through my thoughts, but my head gives a nasty pang and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out.

  Just then, Mr. Bayne calls on me to answer a question.

  “Umm, sorry. What did you say?” I rub my temples to ease the ache.

  “Maybe you should spend less time gazing into Mr. Callaghan’s eyes and more time paying attention.” The class breaks out into hysterics.

  My face flames, humiliation a deep burning in my gut. Why do teachers think they have the right to humiliate students like that? The unfairness of it has my pulse racing. I glare at Mr. Bayne, incensed beyond reason. A red hot tingle begins to move up and down my spine, like pins and needles, like my back is coated in Icy Hot.

  As it spreads, heating up, the pen on my desk begins vibrating, making quick tapping noises against the wood. The tapping gets faster and faster, increasing in time to the burn spreading through my chest now, across my shoulders.

  Then the pen flies off my desk completely, skittering across the room, but I barely notice; I just keep staring daggers at Mr. Bayne, his comment replaying over and over in my head.

  Then Caiden bumps me with his shoulder so hard I almost fall out of my chair. Refocusing on Caiden, I see he took out a pen and a notebook and started writing:

  Calm down!

  I root through my purse for another pen and scribble back. I’m so angry my handwriting is nearly illegible.

  You heard what he said! And you want me to calm down! I have enough shit being said about me, I really don’t need him starting more!

  CALM. DOWN. Getting angry will not help. It’ll just cause more trouble. Or do I need to remind you what can happen?

  Glaring at the paper, I growl under my breath. Calm down? Yeah, easy for him to say. He doesn’t have the entire school gossiping about him.

  Take a deep breath. You need to get control.

  I close my eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to steady my pounding heart. When I feel my pulse slow, I open my eyes and frown down at the paper. His words remind me that I wanted to ask him something.

  “Alright. I’m calm. But we need to talk about Sarah. I don’t think you healed her all the way. ”

  He raises an eyebrow at me questioningly.

  I’m telling you – something’s seriously wrong with her. She acts like a zombie. What if she has brain damage–

  Caiden starts writing before I can finish.

  She’s fine. I checked on her this morning. She’s having a normal reaction. It will take a while for her to recover completely – there was a lot of damage to heal. She’ll be fine. Trust me, it’s not the first time I’ve had to heal someone.

  I glance up questioningly, clearly asking who else he had to heal and why, but he starts writing again, ignoring my look.

  You need to start training. Today. Before you start flinging anything bigger than a pen across the room.

  I worry my lower lip, thinking. He’s right: I do need to learn to control this, whatever it is, but I can’t let Seb see me with Caiden. Didn’t Seb say he was having dinner with his dad and James, today? This is probably my best shot at not getting caught.

  Fine. Today. Do not tell Seb. Or Liv. Or anyone else for that matter. I do NOT need this getting around school!

  I’ll pick you up at 3:30.

  I look away and spend the rest of the day trying to ignore the guilt in the pit of my stomach.

  Chapter 10

  There must be fifty mirrors in here, and at least twice as many glass baubles and knickknacks scattered throughout the small aluminum shed in Caiden’s backyard. There are tiny ceramic plates with kittens painted on them, crystal candle holders of every shape and size imaginable, a row of small glass elephants, and china dishes painted with frilly blue flowers. And mirrors. Endless mirrors; large ones on the ground, leaning against the walls, medium sized ones with handles, hanging on hooks – even small, compact travel mirrors scattered on work tables and shelves.

  I look around in amazement. “What did you do Caiden? Rob a thrift store?” He almost cracks a smile.

  “This is for your training.”

  “Do I get a bat or a crowbar or something?” Now gives me look like I’m an idiot.

  “You’re object is not to break anything. We’re going to work on your temper.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Do I look like I’m kidding? You destroyed a light bulb at Kayla’s house and I wasn’t even trying to upset you then.”

  “So, what? You’re going to try to piss me off?”

  “Exactly,” he answers, without batting an eye. “Let’s get started. I want you to close your eyes and try to stay calm. Do you understand?”

  “Close my eyes and stay calm. Those are your words of wisdom?”

  He ignores my sarcasm, staring at me without expression until I obey.

  “When you feel yourself getting upset, take a deep breath and tighten this part right here.” He presses his palm against the bottom of my ribcage, right below my chest. I flinch back in surprise, and glare at him.

  “If you want to keep your hand, I suggest you keep it to yourself.”

  He just raises an eyebrow, not the least bit intimidated. “Some of the things I need to teach you require a hands-on approach. Get used to it.”

  I continue glowering at him.

  “You’re not doing a very good job at controlling your emotions right now.”

  “What, you mean the way you control yours every second of the day? Do you even have emotions, Caiden?” I lash out venomously. I don’t know why I’m getting so upset, but everything about him just sets me off.

  “You’re like a robot. A lifeless, unfeeling machine. It’s unnatural. And you're saying there’s something wrong with me?”

  He gives me an icy stare, and for a moment I think I see a flicker of something. Some strong emotion I can’t describe.

  “And where have your feelings gotten you exactly?” He says ‘feelings’ like it’s a dirty word. “Tell me. Where have they gotten you? Making out with your boyfriend in the middle of lunch just to prove to everyone that you don’t care? Exploding light bulbs at your friend’s house because you don’t like what you hear? Almost killing a girl at a party because she said something mean to you? Almost attacking your teacher because he called you out?”

  His voice is still controlled, but his green eyes glitter with fury. “I may be cold and unfeeling, but at least I won’t hurt anyone else. Can you say the same?”

  It’s the ‘anyone else’ that gets my attention. His little speech should piss me off, but instead, it makes me wonder exactly what happened in his
life that made him shut himself off emotionally the way he has. And, if I’m being fair, he has a point. I hurt someone, would have killed her if Caiden wasn’t there, and that night will haunt me for the rest of my life. If Caiden can help me to avoid doing that again, I’ll submit to whatever training methods he wants. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and nod.

  He inhales sharply, surprised. I guess he expected me to put up more of a fight. But his words have their intended effect on me. I’ll go along whatever he says if it will keep me from hurting anyone else.

  After a moment, his hand returns to my abdomen. His palm feels abnormally hot on my stomach.

  “This is your solar plexus. It’s the core of your emotions. When you feel yourself spiraling out of control, tighten this part right here. Imagine a shield closing over it, blocking you from your hurt and anger. Do you understand?”

  I nod again, trying to focus.

  “Alright. I’m going to say some things to you. Thing to make you angry. When that happens, I want you to control it the way I just explained.”

  He removes his hand from me and takes a step back, the heat from him rapidly fading.

  “Why are you with Sebastian?”

  “What?” I open my eyes, confused.

  “Why are you with him? I mean, some girls think he’s good looking, sure, but I don’t see anything else in him that would attract you. Though, I guess good looks would be enough of a reason for a shallow girl like you.”

  Caiden leans against the work table behind him crossing his arms over his chest arrogantly. He’s not as tall or as broad as Sebastian, but he’s still pretty intimidating. His disheveled brown hair is hanging around his eyes as he watches me, waiting for a response.

  I know what he’s trying to do, and I refuse to rise to his bait. I smile at him. “Well, let’s not forget his car. A Mustang is enough to entice any girl. Especially one as shallow as me.”