He trails off, his voice low and gravelly.
I don’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting this. I scoot closer to him, straining to hear his quiet words. He looks so lost. I’m close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body. He wraps one arm around me, pulling me closer, until my back is flush with his chest.
“So what did you do?” I ask in a whisper, almost afraid to hear the rest.
“I ran over to her, tried to pull him off. He was built like a bull – I couldn’t budge him. He knocked me off with one right hook, slamming my head into the table. I think I blacked out for a minute, but when I came to, I went after him again. That’s when I saw the blood on her face and I just... I just snapped. I reached out with my mind, grabbed a hold of him, and wiped him out.”
I feel him tremble behind me. I grab his hand lying across my collarbone and squeeze gently.
“I went into his mind and shredded it. Completely eradicated who and what he was. And I did it as painfully as I could... Made him believe his insides were being ripped apart... He collapsed next to my mom, screaming, convulsing.
“The neighbors heard the yelling and called the cops. By the time they showed up, he couldn’t speak. Could barely move. Just kept screaming. The cops thought he was having an aneurysm. Blood was leaking from his ears, his eyes, his nose...He died of a brain hemorrhage before they got him to the hospital.”
I squeeze my eyes tight, trying to block out the image. After the incident with Sarah, I can imagine exactly what Caiden must have felt. Watching his mom’s boyfriend scream, blood all over his face, not knowing what happened or how to stop it.
No wonder he’s been so hard on me, always snapping at me to get control, pushing me as far as he can.
We’re silent for a while, neither of us speaking, his chest warm against my back. His voice whispers from behind me. “I just wanted him to stop hurting her...”
“It’s not your fault,” I say to him. It doesn’t escape me that I’m echoing his previous words.
“Yes, it is. I killed my mom’s boyfriend. Right in front of her. That’s the worst part. He may have been a mean son of a bitch, but she loved him. And she watched me murder him...” He turns his head slightly so he can look me in the eyes.
“I had to say those things to you, Emerson. Had to push you, because I didn’t want you to have to go through what I did. I didn’t want you to lose control for one second and regret it for the rest of your life.”
All my anger vanishes. I can’t blame him for what he said. He did what he had to, to keep me from making his mistakes. If it weren’t for Caiden, I’d be in the exact same situation, torn up with guilt over killing Sarah. Caiden spared me what he himself has to live with every day.
I don’t know how to put what I feel into words that he’ll understand, so I just stay where I am, nestled against him, and squeeze his hand.
I’m not sure how long we sit like this, but by the time he begins to move, my entire lower half has gone numb.
Neither of us speaks as he drives me home. When we get to my house, his eyes are still vacant, face haunted. I can’t leave him alone like this.
“Do you want to come in?” My face heats, immediately realizing how stupid that sounds. “I mean, I just got a new car, and I thought, maybe, you’d want to take it for a test drive with me?”
I bite my lower lip, expecting him to refuse.
“I...yeah, I can do that.” He gets out and I lead us to my garage, punching the code into the pin pad. The doors open, and there sits my little beauty.
Caiden walks up to it in awe. “This is yours? She’s gorgeous. When did you get her?”
I blush as I remember Sebastian’s ‘Princess’ comments.
“My dad gave her to me yesterday. I was going to buy my own car,” I add hastily, “But he wanted to buy me one that wasn’t going to break down, so...”
“You’re lucky to have a father who cares about you that much,” he says, catching me off guard.
I smile at him, glad for the chance to finally show off my new car to someone who isn’t going to get angry at me about it. He pops the hood and checks out the engine, and then climbs into the passenger seat.
“Have you driven it yet?”
I shake my head.
“Are you telling me that you’ve had this for almost twenty four hours and you haven’t even tested it yet?” He gives me a half smile. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
I find the keys in my purse and hop into the driver’s seat, relieved that he’s not brooding anymore.
“Are you ready for the maiden voyage?”
I back her up slowly, driving the speed limit until we leave my neat little development behind. Caiden fiddles with the radio. ‘Born on the Bayou’ starts blasting from the speakers as we pull onto the deserted highway.
I roll my eyes at him.
“I should have pegged you for an oldies fan.”
“It’s not oldies!” He raises his eyebrows in mock outrage. “It’s classic rock!”
I smirk and shake my head. I actually do like this song, but I’m not going to tell him that. “Alright, you wanna see how fast this baby can go?”
Adrenaline courses through my body. I feel like being reckless. It’s been so long since I’ve just had fun. I’m waiting for Caiden to lecture me on the dangers of irresponsible driving or something, but he surprises me.
“Let’s go,” he grins, the same recklessness shining in his eyes.
I gun it and we both fly back in our seats. Caiden laughs in excitement, and starts singing along to the radio.
His voice is rich and deep. I could listen to him sing all day, but instead, I laugh right along with him, whooping, and singing the few words I know. The louder I warble, the louder he gets, probably to drown out my off pitch voice, until we’re belting the tune out. When ‘Jessie’s Girl,’ one of my all-time favorite songs, comes on next, he turns the volume up to ear splitting levels and we both start shouting out the lyrics.
We barrel along deserted road after deserted road, breaking all sorts of speed limits, screaming along with any song we know. Caiden is surprisingly fun. I’ve never seen him more relaxed; he actually looks happy for a change. I’m grinning ear to ear myself. It feels nice to just be a teenager for a bit, and not just some crazy witch with out of control powers.
Chapter 17
The following morning I get to the student lot and park next to Olivia just as she’s getting out of her car. She gapes at me, stunned speechless. She walks once around my car before speaking.
“Wow, Em. You’re dad sure has good taste.”
“Yeah,” I laugh. “I was shocked too.”
“So, this is the cause of all the drama yesterday? No wonder Seb looked like he was punched in the gut.”
“No, the cause of the drama was Sebastian being a prick. And he hasn’t seen it yet.”
He hasn’t tried to call or text me yet either. I haven’t really had much time to worry about it, between my visit with Caroline and my training with Caiden, but now, in the light of a new day, my stomach sinks and my throat tightens.
“Have you talked to him?” I ask, trying to keep my voice neutral.
“Yeah... He’s pretty upset.”
“I don’t see what he has to be upset about. My dad bought me a car. Sure, I can see him being a little put out for wasting his time taking me to Bobby’s, but this is ridiculous,” I fume, angry again.
Angry is good. Better than hurt.
Liv gives me a look, like I’m missing something important, but doesn’t say anything else as we head into class.
When the lunch bell rings, I take my time walking in. If Josh starts in on me again, I have to make sure I can stay calm. After my practice session with Caiden yesterday, I feel a little more confident that I won’t cause any damage, but you never know. Everyone is already at the table when I get there.
Mei’s hair is streaked green today, and she’s wearing a green and black corset style tank to match. Kay
la is sitting next to her in an uber-low pink baby tee a few shades lighter than the highlights in her hair. Mei gives me a small smile as I walk up next to Olivia, but Kayla ignores me, completely focused on Sebastian next to her.
He doesn’t seem to be paying her much attention, staring fixedly at the table in front of him, his golden hair hanging slightly in his eyes. Josh meets my gaze with a smirk as I sit across from him and Sebastian.
“So, what are you doing today Em? You want to go to the mall?” Olivia offers, trying to break the awkward silence.
“She can’t. Princess has to polish her crown. It’s getting a little grungy,” Josh answers still smirking at me.
I meet his gaze with an innocent one of my own. “Wow, Josh. How clever. You know, you really shouldn’t strain yourself like this. You might kill the few remaining brain cells you have left.”
His crooked nose wrinkles up in disgust, but its Chris who responds.
“Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be sitting over there with your new plaything?” He jerks his head toward Caiden’s table.
I catch Caiden’s eyes through the crowd. *Calm down. He’s trying to get a reaction out of you. Just breathe.*
I take a deep breath, remembering last night, and immediately feel calmer. Ignoring Josh’s comment, I force myself to look at Sebastian’s beautiful face.
He’s watching Caiden, eyes narrowed. When he turns his gaze back to me, I know he’s noticed the look that passed between us.
“Why are you sitting here?” Sebastian asks, his lips flattening into a thin line.
“Is this how it’s going to be Seb? You’re really this mad at me because my dad bought me a car?”
Sebastian continues to stare at me, not saying a word.
Josh's lip curls up. “No, it’s because you’re a little rich bitch who gets what she wants by using everyone. The question is, what are you getting from that freak?” He jerks his head in Caiden’s direction. “Is it money, or something else?”
“You know what? I’ve had enough. Screw you. Even better, why don’t you two just screw each other and leave me out of it.”
I burst to my feet, ready to storm away, when Josh replies, “Well, at least then he’d be gettin’ some, since you don’t seem to be doing anything in that department.”
Chris bursts out laughing, Kayla’s high pitched giggle joining in. I barely hear Olivia’s and Mei’s shocked gasps.
Red. I see red. My whole body goes rigid. I try to pull it together, focusing on shielding my emotions. But it’s hard. So freaking hard. Sebastian’s been talking about our sex life. To Josh, of all people. I cannot believe he would do that.
I pour all my hurt and anger into building my shield stronger and harder. I can’t let Josh know he drew blood.
I feel a ‘click,’ and an icy calmness washes over me, like a shot of Novocain.
I know that I’m furious, but I can’t feel it. I can’t access that rage. It’s all been directed to this frozen shell encasing me. I turn around and look at Sebastian. I don’t need a mirror to know my expression is a perfect replica of the one Caiden so often wears.
The lack of emotion on my face seems to freeze Sebastian in place. I don’t say anything. Not one word. I simply turn and walk away.
There’s a small outdoor area next to the lunchroom with picnic tables to eat at when the weather’s warmer. Thankfully, it’s chilly enough today to keep everyone indoors, so I have the courtyard to myself. I walk over to the nearest tree and sit down on the cold, hard ground. I’ll probably get grass stains on my jeans, but it doesn’t matter. I lean back against the tree and don’t allow myself to think. I just enjoy the detachment I’m encased in.
It’s nice, not having to feel.
I’m only out here for a few minutes when the door opens and Caiden walks out. I can see Sebastian and the rest of the table from where I sit; this whole side of the cafeteria is made out of glass. Olivia stands up, like she’s going to come talk to me, but Josh grabs her arm and says something, stopping her. Sebastian’s glare is trained on Caiden as he walks over to me.
I don’t care though. Let them think what they want. They already assume the worst.
Caiden comes over and takes a seat on the ground next to me.
“How are you doing?”
“I think I figured it out,” I answer evenly.
“Figured what out?”
“What you were trying to teach me. How not to feel.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“It’s nice. Like flipping off a switch. I’m a little jealous of how easily you’re able to do it.”
“It’s not easy. Not even for me.” We sit there in the cold for a little while before he continues. “You did good in there. I thought you were going to lose it, but you held it together.”
I nod, still staring off.
“But you also have to know when to flip the switch back on.”
“What?” I look over at him now. “But, I thought the whole purpose of those exercises were to teach me to control my emotions?”
“Control them, yes. Not kill them.”
“You never turn them back on. You’re always calm.”
“Not always.” I study his face, but he doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Our emotions are what make us human. They’re what allow us to tell the difference between right and wrong. Everyone needs to feel, you can’t stop that. But you can change how you react to it. Cutting it off like you did in there was a good move. It kept you from doing something you would've regretted. But now that you’re not in that situation anymore, you need to turn it back on.”
“If I turn it back on right now, I won’t be able to go back to class.” I face forward again and stare at the bench in front of me.
“Alright. So we won’t go back to class.” He stands up and holds out his hand to help me up.
“What? Are you telling me you’re going to skip class?” The idea is so ludicrous it brings a small smile to my face. “You're going to risk detention for me?”
He’s smiles down at me, his green eyes twinkling. “There’s no risk. I’ll just text Mirowski that you’re having a crisis. He’ll make sure we’re covered.”
“Why would Mr. Mirowski do that for you?” I ask, grabbing his hand and letting him pull me up.
“Because,” he says, smiling wider. “He’s in the coven too.”
My jaw drops. Caiden pulls me along by my hand, ignoring my stunned expression.
“Mirowski’s a witch?” I ask when I can find my voice.
“Yep. About that, you should probably come to our next circle and meet everyone. If you’re ready, that is.”
He leads me to my car, still holding my hand.
“Yeah, I’m ready. I don’t like the thought of a group of people plotting and talking about me, when I don’t know any of them.”
“Plotting?” He makes a face at me. “You make us sound like a bunch of evil villains, out to control the world.”
“Well, aren’t you?” I laugh, feeling myself thaw a bit. Not completely, not yet. But a little.
“Come to our next circle and find out. It’s tomorrow night if you’re interested.”
“You guys hold your meetings on Friday night? No wonder you don’t have a social life,” I say jokingly, trying to keep up the banter so I don’t have to think about anything else.
“We have a social life. It’s just not one we can expose to the public.”
“Ooh, sounds sinister,” I shudder playfully as we stop at my car.
“So where do you want to go, now that you’ve talked me into ditching?”
I think for a minute. Now might be a great time to drive up to Ashwood Creek. And having Caiden along would definitely be a plus, since he knows how to get us around without being seen.
“I have an idea. Are you up for a road trip?”
“Where to?”
“Get in.” I say, ignoring his question.
He gives me a look but doesn’t argue. I start pun
ching the address into my new navigation system.
“Why the hell are we going there?” Caiden looks at the name of the town, appalled.
“You know it?”
“Yeah, and unless you have a good reason for wanting to go there, and I mean a really good reason, we’re not going.”
“Why? What’s there?”
“It’s dangerous.”
“It’s where my mom was born. I thought I might be able to ask around, maybe find some of her family.”
“Ashwood Creek isn’t a good area to go asking questions about a witch,” he says ominously.
“What does that mean?”
“It means we shouldn’t go there.”
“Look, no one else is giving me answers, so I have to find them myself. If you don’t want to come with me, that’s fine, but I’m going.”
He gives me a long look, taking in the stubborn set of my jaw, and lets out a sigh.
“Fine. I’ll come, but only because I know you’re too damn stubborn to listen to reason and you’ll just get into trouble on your own.”
I roll my eyes and start the car. According to the GPS, we should be there in three and a half hours.
Chapter 18
“Alright,” I say once we get onto the highway. “Are you going to explain those cryptic remarks you were making or are you just going to let me walk into this blind?”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m trying to find a way to explain that’ll make sense to you. You don’t know anything about our kind, and Caroline has been trying to introduce you slowly. But this...it’s a lot to take in.”
“Whatever it is, just tell me. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”
He studies me, deciding how to best explain. “Alright, I told you that our kind has been hunted for centuries, right? Well, way back before the witch hunts, our kind was much more powerful than we are today. Much more numerous too. One legend says that different powers were bestowed on us by different Gods or Goddesses.”
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