She nodded and I noticed the stern expression on her face.
We went inside and found Mom sitting by the fireplace.
Her face turned paler when her eyes landed on Lana.
“Oh, this is a pleasant surprise,” she stated.
I remained expressionless, able to see through the shit of her phony act. I was actually offended that she’d tried it with me. As if I wasn’t used to her dishing that shit out to other people.
“Look.” I pointed at Lana. “I found her.” It was as though the last seventeen years hadn’t happened and I was continuing the same conversation from that day Lana left.
She knew what I meant from what I said and the way I said it.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
I felt like a real asshole standing my ground because of how sick I knew she’d been. Right now it meant nothing.
“Lana told me what happened. She told me why she left. She told me what you did.”
Mom stood up, showing a strength I didn’t think she had and she faced Lana.
“And what did you tell my son?” she challenged Lana in that authoritative voice she’d used many times with the staff here.
“I don’t need to tell you. You know. The time for me talking to you is past. It’s him you need to speak to. Not me,” Lana answered, unveiling the strong woman I’d seen when I found her in L.A.
Mom turned back to face me. The muscle quivered at her jaw and her mouth thinned with displeasure. “Such insolence, you would believe Lana over me? She’s just like her whoring mother.”
My whole body stiffened as though she’d struck me.
Her personality had just switched out on me. No way could this be the same woman who called Amelia family the other day. I couldn’t believe what she just said.
“My mother wasn’t a whore!” Lana lashed out.
Mom gave her a menacing smile enhanced by her skeletal features. “Oh look, she thinks she can talk big now that she has a piece of the pie and clearly my son. You’ll never want for anything again will you? To me you’ll always be scum.”
“That is enough!” I roared. When she returned her focus to me and I looked in her eyes I saw the truth staring at me.
God… the little boy who used to look up to his mother wanted to hang on to the past and the pure vision of her.
But, I had to let him down.
I might not have wanted to be a lawyer but I became a damn good one. The pieces of the puzzle were all starting to come together. I wasn’t sure if Lana saw it too.
My heart tried to hold me back from going further. I, however, always and ever the rebel, pushed back.
I was too consumed with everything to piece it all together last night.
Dad told me about the affair and that gave me an avenue. A motive.
It was a reason to want Amelia dead.
Someone with influence and power could do a lot.
“You knew about the affair didn’t you? Dad and Amelia?” I aired.
Lana looked over at me when I said that.
“It went on for years,” Mom answered, her voice steady. “Years. Can you believe it? My husband and my maid. Even before they started sleeping together. It was all in the eyes. The looks, the comments. A touch here and there.”
“And what did you do about it, Mom?” From the corner of my eye I saw Lana’s lips part.
“It started out with your father listening to Amelia reading Lana poetry at bed time. Something so innocent yet deadly. I pretended not to know then one day I saw them kissing in the secret garden by the river.” She turned to Lana. “Your mother was a whore dear. She thought it was okay to steal people’s husbands. She stole mine. She was going to take mine away from me. I found the divorce papers. Can you imagine how I felt? I gave my life to a man who fell in love with my maid. I had to put a stop to it and get rid of her.”
Lana sucked in a breath.. “Get rid of her? It was you?”
No matter what bravado Lana had assumed coming in here, no matter what strength she gathered, it all left her and all I could do was stare, beyond mortification. Horrified at what I was hearing.
“Yesssssss.” Mom sang in delight. “It was me.”
Shock siphoned the blood from my body at the declaration. Then the shock suffused my soul as she continued in her chant of glee.
“A bottle to the head can do a lot. It can knock a woman down and give you the chance to strangle her,” Mom chanted. “All those books in the library and friends in the right places can give a woman so many ideas. It was all so clever. My friend with a truck, her friend at the coroner’s office. Then my stupid friend who was supposed to make the paperwork go away. He didn’t do a very good job. Would have stopped people like Detective Gracen from snooping around. I just wanted my family back. My husband to be mine, and my son to have a chance to be with someone better, more of his league. I killed your mother. I killed that fucking bitch and watched the life drain from her body.”
When Lana dropped to the ground in a flood of tears I rushed to her side. I went to her feeling like I had no right to touch her or be near her.
I felt vile.
My mother killed hers.
When I thought of Dad being a suspect it was bad enough.
Terrible.
This was beyond anything I could describe.
The little grip around my finger from Lana sparked the love I felt for her and I held her.
This was the disaster I could feel in my heart. It was what I’d sensed. I just wanted to be wrong.
I looked at Mom, at the wicked smile on her face and I actually felt bile rise in my throat. She took pleasure in all of this.
“I’m turning you in to the police,” I told her. ‘You will pay for what you did.”
She shrugged in a nonchalant manner. “Go ahead.” My threat didn’t even faze
her. “I have less than six months left to live. I no longer care.”
I was pretty certain I should have felt like the world ended as she said that. I
was supposed to feel devastated and drained. She was my mother. The woman I loved with my soul. The person who stood before me however wasn’t the one I believed her to be. The woman in front of us was a monster. A monster who was capable of dealing devastation, doom, death.
She’d killed Amelia.
I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut as my heart splintered into pieces. Broken in a way that I knew would never truly be fixed even if I tried.
Chapter 24
Lana
“How are you doing?” Detective Gracen asked. He straightened up in his habitual manner even though he wasn’t at his desk.
He’d come by the house to see me.
“I don’t know.” I gave him a kind smile. It felt like the beginning of a wound that was starting to heal.
“It’s like deja vu. Pretty sure you said that the other day.” He smirked and reached for the little cup of tea Georgie had made for him and a cookie from Pat’s deluxe range.
One good thing about having a best friend who had an amazing husband was that he took care of you too.
Pat had impressed me. He’d flown over with Georgie and insisted on doing absolutely everything for the both of us.
“These are good,” Detective Gracen commented.
This was him it seemed when he was okay. When the case was closed.
“I’ll let Pat know you like ‘em.” The power couple were in the kitchen cooking me dinner before they headed back to LA. They’d been here for the last three days.
All that time and I didn’t see Ryan. He’d messaged and I knew there was a lot going on but I wanted to see him.
Detective Gracen pressed his lips together and the seriousness returned to his face.
“You’ve been through a lot, Lana. I hope you give yourself a break. I came to check on you. This was a rather difficult case,” he confessed.
I nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing. “Words can’t express.”
Kathy had been taken into custody. T
here was talk about her going to a medium psychiatric secure unit to live out the rest of her life when she got sentenced.
I’d signed off at that point.
Like she said, she no longer cared. Neither did I.
I got the truth. it was a truth I never saw coming, or did I?
Detective Gracen looked me over with curiosity. “Do you feel it yet?”
“That feeling like there was something staring you right in the face this whole time and you can’t believe you didn’t see it?” I asked. “Yes.”
He nodded. “Yeah. When I asked you if there was anyone you thought it might be and I told you it would be someone your mother knew, I’d already narrowed my lists of suspects down to two people. I didn’t have any evidence on Mrs. O’Shea, but exactly what happened is exactly what I’d suspected. Wife suspects her husband is cheating, finds out he is with the maid, wife kills the maid and makes it look like a suicide, wife takes one step further to cover her tracks by contacting a friend in the coroner’s office to take care of things from our side.”
A day after Mrs. O’Shea was taken in it was found that there were two people who helped her at the time. They were still looking for the person with the truck and whoever else might be involved.
“You knew I knew something deep down?”
“I hoped. It’s all guesswork in the end. You watch the Mentalist?” He smiled.
I grinned. “I’ve seen a few episodes.”
“It’s great isn’t it? I’m kind of like him. Push instinct to the limit and fill in the blanks after. I only hoped you’d remember something when I’d told you it would be someone your mother knew. Only a powerful person with money could pull off what happened. There could only have been a few people in your lives like that. Anyway… case closed. The truth is out and it’s painful. It always is no matter how it reveals itself. The focus now is what next?”
“Yeah.”
“Going back to LA?” he raised his brows.
“Not yet.”
I didn’t have to say any more. The twinkle in his eyes showed he knew there was only one thing left here for me, one person.
The man who was staying away from me because his mother had killed mine.
What an absolute mess.
When I’d dropped the comment the other day that things were complicated, I didn’t know just how tangled the web went. Things weren’t complicated then. They were now.
But…what was I supposed to do?
Stop loving Ryan?
Detective Gracen stood and put his hand out to shake mine. “Great to meet you Lana. I really mean that. I hope we won’t meet again. I mean that too.”
“Thank you for everything. I’m truly grateful.” I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. With a curt nod he left.
I stared at the door as it closed and Georgie came out of the kitchen.
“Hey, you okay?” Georgie asked, taking her seat where Detective Gracen had sat.
I nodded. “I will be. I…” I really didn’t know what to say. Being asked if I was okay was a normal thing. I got that. It was just that I felt a little like I was lying when I answered and said I was okay because truthfully I really wasn’t.
Georgie reached over and took my hands into hers.
“You can say no. You can say no and it will be fine too.”
“Then … no. I’m not okay. Every day feels weird. Some parts of the day feel like I got answers so now I can move on. But then there are other parts where I just don’t know, Georgie. I really don’t know. How do you get through something like this?”
I could still hear the despicable words pouring out of Kathy O’Shea’s mouth. I could still see her smiling. That smile of triumph.
She’d won.
She may be in custody now and I was certain justice would be served in accordance with the law but she’d won.
Mama was still dead. All of that didn’t bring her back. And, I’d still left Wilmington for seventeen years and Ryan and I never made it as a couple.
The past was the past and it couldn’t be unwritten. It was what it was.
“What do you want to do?” Georgie asked.
I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ear. “The only thing I’m sure about is how I feel about Ryan. It’s a lot though, Georgie. He’s staying away and it makes sense. His father has called to check on me and he’s messaged but I can tell the guilt’s there.”
“Do you blame him Lana?” She drew in a breath and looked at me. “He sees himself as the guy whose mother killed yours. I think that’s the part you have to focus on if you want to get through this. The question is, can you see past that part?”
“Could you? If it was you, could you?”
“If we were talking about Pat, then my answer is yes.”
“Really?” I wanted to hear this. Hear her reasoning for what she would do. “Would you really?”
“Ryan isn’t his mother. He’s one person who is separate from everything and he lost out too when he lost you. This whole situation is coming from one vindictive person. That saying is true, you aren’t your family. So if this was Pat, then my answer would be yes because I know how much my husband loves me, and even when he was just my friend I know that man would move mountains just to see me smile.”
That was beautiful and it was true.
There was a truth that resonated with me too. For the first time since I’d met Georgie I felt I could feel that sense of similarity because I had a man who loved me like that too.
The best part of that was knowing it. Knowing the love existed beyond anything and everything.
“I like that.” I blinked back a tear. “And it’s true, I’ve witnessed Pat love you to no end.”
“Thank you. Lana… you don’t need to ask me what I’d do. You know what you want to do. Don’t allow the past to get in the way. You’re actually sure about the one thing that matters right now. Your love for him. It’s a step.”
I gave her a little smile and nodded. “When the hell did you get so wise?”
“I have a wise best friend.” She gave me one of her sassy shrugs.
Pat stuck his head out from the kitchen and beamed at us with one of his cheeky grins.
“Dinner slash lunch is nearly ready. We could eat together if you’re ready to eat in five minutes.” He gushed, looking proud of himself.
“I’m ready,” I replied. It sounded though like I was answering for more things than just accepting dinner in five minutes.
We ate and they left a few hours later, leaving me to myself.
By myself with the question of what would happen next pregnant in the air.
Later on I sat outside on the porch swing watching the sunset.
After an hour Ryan’s car pulled up on the drive.
My heart sped up when I saw him and it skipped beats when he got out and came over to me.
Before he could even reach me though I rushed to him. It was instinct. It moved me to him.
He held me, hugging me hard to his chest but then he pulled back and released me.
“Hi,” he breathed. His eyes scanned over me in that way that showed he was trying to commit me to memory.
“Hi.”
He reached out and brushed over my cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m holding up.”
“Lana… I’m sorry I haven’t been … around. There were a few things I needed to do for my mom. Statements and various other things. Like saying goodbye.”
“You said goodbye?”
“Yeah… That was it for me. Everything… I don’t think I’ll ever quite get past it. That’s why I’m here.”
“Why?”
“It’s too much Lana. It’s too much… It’s all such a messed up story. You deserve better. You always did. You deserve to be with someone pure, who doesn’t have the baggage and shit I have.” He moved his hand up to his head and paused for a few seconds. “My mother looked at you and told you how she killed your mother. Nothing will ever fully describe how I felt in that momen
t. Dad is … devastated and ashamed. He’s not sure how he can face her, or you. I had to face you to close the chapter. I love you, and if that is true I have to let you go… This time I truly have to let you go.”
His eyes begged me to accept, his words did too, but I wasn’t going to.
I was sticking to the answer I kept getting when I thought of what I’d wanted most.
Georgie was right.
The past was the past.
“Maybe it’s time to start a new book.” I nodded. “The boy and the girl who just wanted to run off together seventeen years ago deserve it.”
“Maybe they do… but it’s not right.”
“It’s not about that. Not about right and wrong. We didn’t do anything wrong. We had people telling us what was best for us and dictating who deserved better and who didn’t. She won Ryan. Your mother won everything else… Please don’t allow her to win whatever future we could have.”
He gave me an agonized stare. “I don’t want you to look at me and remember what she did.”
“I don’t.”
“You say that now, but… it could change Lana. I look in the mirror and I see her son. I’m her son and I can’t believe my own mother could be so despicable. I don’t want you to look at me and have that memory of who took the person you loved the most away from you.” A tear ran down his cheek.
I reached out and touched his face, shaking my head. “Ryan O’Shea, when I look at you I see love.”
“How can you?”
“I just do. I see love. I remember the boy who captured my heart from hello, I remember the boy who gave me my first kiss and was my first everything. You filled me with so much inspiration I never had to try to feel. Everything was there and creativity flowed from me because of you. I remember how you always took care of me, how much you wanted to after my mother died, and how I always felt complete when I was with you.”
“Lana…” he held my gaze.
“It’s true Ryan. It’s true. I see love when I look at you and I feel loved. Mama wasn’t the only person I loved most. There’s you too.” I swallowed hard and immersed myself in the strength that uplifted me. It was a strength that surprised me. It came from my soul. “My heart is broken in so many ways. We shouldn’t allow the actions of our parents to affect us or influence our decisions. I’m choosing you Ryan… I love you.”
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