by Nora Phoenix
When he pulled back, Enar’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes darker than usual. “You taste so good,” Vieno whispered.
“You too.” Enar’s voice croaked, and he cleared his throat. “Thank you.”
Vieno stepped back. “I’m making lunch.” He looked at the clock. Three in the afternoon. “Or dinner, whatever. Wanna help?”
“I’m a horrible cook,” Enar admitted.
Vieno smiled as he sighed overdramatically. “You guys only want me for sex and to cook and clean, huh?” he teased.
“Well,” Enar said after a quick look, probably to make sure Vieno was joking, “your ass is heaven, and from what I understand, so is your food, so yeah, guilty as charged.”
Vieno pulled the tomatoes out of the oven and put them in a bowl to cool off. “Here,” he said. “You can cut mozzarella into little pieces. I’m sure you can’t fuck that up too badly, considering you’re a doctor and all that.”
Enar grinned. “I should be able to handle this, and thank you for the vote of confidence.”
Vieno looked at him sideways. “Did you mean it? What you said about me…my ass?”
“God, yes. You're special. I’m sorry. I wish I had better words to describe it. Was it good for you?”
Vieno nodded. “Fuck, yes. Best heat I’ve ever had. You guys were amazing.”
“You look good. Better than I’ve seen you so far.”
Vieno added the bacon to the tomatoes, then the spinach he’d cut into small slivers. “I feel better than I have in a long time. I think what you said about the alpha hormones and proteins and shit was true. And the knotting felt amazing.”
“Mine too?”
Enar’s voice was so soft Vieno wasn’t sure he’d heard him correctly until he saw his face. Why would he be insecure over that? Unless… It sunk in. “Was that your first time?”
After a slight hesitation, Enar nodded. “I’ve fucked a few omegas through their heat, but I could never make it further than a half knot. It’s not uncommon,” he added quickly. “In theory, alphas can knot at will, but the reality is that we often need a connection to achieve a full knot. It’s hard when you don’t know your partner well, and even harder when you’re wearing a condom. So this was the first full knot for me.”
“It was perfect. Lidon’s first knot took off the edge, quenched the most desperate need, and yours was comforting. Soothing. Fulfilling.”
Vieno heard Enar exhale. “Thank you.”
Vieno stepped in and pushed against Enar’s hands until he put his knife and the mozzarella down to meet his eyes. Vieno wiped Enar’s hands off with a paper towel and stepped into his arms, hugging him. It took a few seconds before the man hugged him back, but when he did, he pulled Vieno close, resting his cheek on Vieno’s head.
“Don’t thank me,” Vieno said after a while. “We needed each other. There’s no room for thanks there.”
Vieno sensed a presence behind him before Enar did, but he made no move to let go. Enar’s body froze, and then he pushed Vieno away. “I’m sorry,” he said, probably to Lidon, but Vieno didn’t turn around. His eyes stayed trained on Enar, who was clearly scared he’d fucked up somehow and that Lidon would be upset with him.
“No,” Vieno said, raising his voice. “Don’t be sorry.”
“You’re his omega,” Enar explained, his eyes shifting from Lidon back to Vieno.
“I’m also yours. And Palani’s.”
Enar shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way.”
Vieno felt Lidon step in behind him, even before the man’s hand landed on his shoulder. Palani stood at his side, and Vieno reached out for him, lacing his fingers through his best friend’s hand. “It does, Enar,” he said softly. “We’ll need to talk a lot about this because I don’t understand everything either, but I do know this: I was Palani’s long before Lidon claimed me, so I belong to them both. And I choose to belong to you as well. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and that means we can kiss whenever the hell we want to.”
Lidon watched as Enar’s face showed all the confusion the man must feel. It seemed the insecurities he’d experienced before had come back in full force now that Vieno’s heat had passed. No wonder. It was hard to think when all your body wanted was to fuck. Now that that urge had dissipated, Enar’s mind would switch on again.
“Vieno’s right,” Lidon said. “But let’s talk about it over…” He looked at the clock. Quarter past three. Not lunch, but not quite dinner either. “Food. I’m ravenous.”
Vieno turned around, sending him a sweet smile. “Grill is ready for you. Steaks are on the counter.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. I’m in the mood for meat.”
“I figured. I ordered the biggest ones they had for all of you, and the smaller one is for me.”
His mate already knew him well. Lidon wasted no time throwing a bunch of juicy, thick ribeyes on the grill.
Vieno was right, Lidon mused. They did need to talk about their relationship. Enar needed it the most. He’d always been a man of rules. As much as he loved breaking them, he thrived on clear expectations, always wanted to know what was expected of him. Maybe it was because he’d always felt like such a disappointment to his father? Lidon had met the man a few times, but his impression hadn’t been favorable. He could only hope the man fared better with Enar’s younger brothers. At least they wouldn’t have to deal with the weight of the alpha expectations.
Enar might need ground rules the most, but they all could benefit from voicing their needs and expectations. As tempting as it was to adopt a laissez-faire approach, it would backfire on them. With four people in a relationship, they would have to be more intentional, even if it would cause some cringy moments and difficult topics. He wasn’t the best at communicating shit like this, but Palani and Vieno seemed to be better at it, so maybe they could contribute?
When Lidon brought in the steaks, they all sat down at the table. It looked picture perfect, all set with a table cloth Lidon hadn’t even known he possessed and with plates, glasses, and even napkins for everyone. Vieno had been busy the last few days, apparently, ensuring he could serve this.
For the first few minutes, no one spoke. They were all too focused on getting calories into their systems.
“God, that’s good,” Palani mumbled with his mouth full.
Like Lidon, he’d attacked his steak first. A quick check revealed Enar had done the same. Only Vieno was eating the pasta first.
“Look at you guys devour those steaks,” Vieno commented with a smile. “You’d think you had run a marathon or something.”
“Baby, your heats are a fucking marathon, even with the three of us,” Palani said.
“How can an itty-bitty omega like me wear out three big, strong guys like you?” Vieno teased.
Lidon loved hearing him so carefree. What a difference with how he’d been when he had met him for the first time. If you saw him now, all beaming and glowing, it was hard to imagine the shape he’d been in.
“Two big strong guys,” Palani corrected him. “I’m just a puny beta compared to these two.”
“Size isn’t everything,” Vieno said, his eyes sparkling.
“That’s not what you said when Lidon had his big cock in your ass,” Palani shot back.
Vieno blushed, a lovely heat that crept up from his nose all the way to his ears. Lidon smiled. “Is he teasing you, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” Vieno said, demonstrating a cute-as-fuck pout. “Say something, alpha.”
It was said in jest, and yet Lidon felt a deep appreciation for the way Vieno turned to him for protection. He still had a lot to figure out about their relationship, but he knew the little omega already had him wrapped around his finger. It was a good thing he didn’t realize it and wasn’t coy enough to abuse it.
“Do I need to beat him up for you?” he said, laughing.
Vieno pretended to consider it. “Nah,” he then said. “He still may come in handy.”
The joking continued until th
ey’d all finished their meals. Enar had been quiet, and Lidon shot him a questioning look. “You okay?”
“It’s a lot to process.”
“You need rules,” Lidon said. “I get it. Let’s talk.”
Enar sighed with frustration. “I got nothing. I don’t even know where to start. My head is a mess right now.”
“Maybe we start with defining what we are,” Palani said. Lidon appreciated the beta’s sharp mind more and more. He had the uncanny ability to get right to the heart of the matter.
Lidon nodded. “I like that. So, what do we think we are?”
Vieno responded first. “A foursome. All four of us together.”
“As opposed to…?” Enar asked.
“As opposed to Vieno and Lidon being together, me and Vieno being a couple, you and Lidon fucking around, and you and me being whatever the fuck we are,” Palani said. “The difference is that we are all together rather than being in individual relationships.”
“How does that work?” Enar asked. “I get it in theory, but what does it mean? Does it mean we always do everything with the four of us?”
“Sex, you mean?” Vieno asked.
“Well, for one, but I meant broader. Sleeping, eating, hanging out, and yes, sex…all the things normal couples do together.”
“I don’t like the word normal,” Palani said. “It implies that we’re not normal.”
“We’re not,” Enar said. “How many foursomes do you know?”
Palani leaned back in his chair. “There’s a difference between not normal and unusual. What we are may be unusual, but that doesn’t mean it’s not normal. Normal is normative, judgmental.”
Enar gestured. “Okay, I’ll grant you that. But it doesn’t change my point or rather my question. Do we do everything together?”
Lidon scratched his chin. “That seems impractical to me, considering our conflicting work schedules.”
“So you would have no problem with me hanging out with Palani or Vieno,” Enar said.
Lidon’s eyes narrowed. “You say hanging out, but you’re talking about sex.”
Enar threw up his hands. “I’m trying to figure out how you can be okay with this. Are you telling me you’d honestly be good with me fucking Vieno behind your back?”
Lidon leaned forward. “It wouldn’t be behind my back, now would it? And yes, I would be okay with that as long as Vieno wants it, but you'd never do anything against anyone’s will.”
“I don’t understand this. I get why you’d be okay with Palani, since it’s clear he and Vieno are mates as well. But me, that’s different. I’m not your mate, Lidon. Sure, we fucked occasionally, or rather, you fucked me, but we didn’t mate. And I’m sure as hell not mated to Vieno or Palani. So what am I doing here? Why are you all so okay with me being a part of your threesome?”
His words hung in the air, his pain almost tangible. Lidon hadn’t realized how deep his friend’s insecurity ran until that moment.
Vieno reached across the table to grab Enar’s hand. “Because we’re not a threesome. We never were. It was me and Palani and then me and Lidon, and when we figured out that we were more, you were a part of that.”
“But I’m not your mate,” Enar said again, his voice filled with desperation.
“Don’t you get it? You’re something much more powerful. I didn’t choose to mate with Palani. It just happened, maybe because I’ve always loved him or because we’ve been so close the last few years. I don’t know. And I didn’t choose to have this fated mates connection with Lidon. The goal was to marry him and hopefully grow to love him, but I didn’t choose all this. I’m grateful that it’s there, but it wasn’t by choice.”
Everyone’s eyes were focused on Vieno as he spoke with such passion. Lidon felt the words originate in Vieno’s very soul, knew them to be true in the depths of his own being.
“But you, Enar, you I choose. I choose you to be my third mate. You’re the only one I chose myself. Don’t you see how special that makes you?”
Hours later, Lidon, Palani, and Vieno were asleep again, still tired after Vieno’s heat, but Enar couldn’t sleep. In the light of the moon that fell through the cracks of the curtains, he watched his men sleep. Vieno lay cuddled up against Lidon, using his shoulder as a pillow. He was a snuggler, the little omega, always seeking someone to nestle himself against.
Palani lay closest to Enar, his face turned toward him. Enar gave in to the temptation to brush his forehead. He was so strong and yet so kind and soft, knowing when to be bossy and when to embrace, when to push and when to let go. It was a rare quality.
He checked the clock. He’d been awake for over an hour now, and his body wasn’t showing any sign of wanting to go back to sleep. Careful not to disturb the others, he crawled out of bed and found a quiet spot outside on the porch. It held a swinging porch bench that Lidon’s grandpa had built, a sturdy wooden thing that made no sound as Enar gently swung back and forth on it, his legs pulled up. It was quiet outside, crickets chirping in the background, interrupted by the howl of a coyote every now and then. Enar wished his head was as tranquil.
He was still trying to come to terms with what they had discussed. Vieno’s words rang true, yet still he struggled with accepting it. They didn't understand who he was inside, of how fucked up his mind was…or his body, wherever it had gone wrong inside him. All he knew was that he wasn’t a real alpha, and he never would be. No matter how hard he’d try, he’d never be able to conform to the norms, the expectations society had of him as an alpha.
Sure, they all suspected, Palani probably on a deeper level than Lidon and Vieno, but Enar had never put it into words to them. How could he? He still had trouble defining it himself, let alone accepting it. Acknowledging his true status meant losing everything he’d built. Maybe not with them but definitely in society. And it shouldn’t matter, but it did.
Even thinking about the hurtful words his father had hurled at him over the years made his heart contract painfully. As a child, he’d already felt different. The alpha behavior that should have been so natural to him instead felt forced. He’d always been more content to follow than to lead, and that was about the worst thing for an alpha.
Sure, he could be a full alpha if it suited his purposes. His alpha powers were weak and seemed focused on empathy and comfort—something that came in handy with his job—but they were present. And he could be dominant and bossy if he wanted to. It was more that he didn’t want to, most of the time. It felt completely unnatural to him, so forced it sucked him empty.
He had to, in his job and in society, to fulfill the role that was expected of him. That’s why he’d built up to a “code yellow” every few months, when the pretending got too much. Having Lidon boss him around, allowing him to be a beta, had kept him sane. Those few stolen hours, every two, three months, had been enough to last him till the next time he could lower his defenses and be himself—more or less.
He’d never been more himself than with Palani, though. He wasn’t sure how the beta had seen through his pretense so easily, but he had. That stupid joke he’d wrongly reacted to had been a catalyst, but Palani had been so damn understanding and accepting. Lidon had been as well but in a different way. They’d never talked about it, not even after the first time Lidon had taken him, which had only happened after Enar had all but begged him.
No, Palani understood him on a level no one else did, and it was what made this whole foursome-thing so damn scary. What if he fucked it up and lost not just his best friend but also the man who truly got him?
And Vieno, sweet Vieno, didn't have clue beyond that Enar liked to be fucked every now and then. He thought Enar was the alpha he portrayed. What would happen if he found out? He’d reacted well to Palani’s rather blunt statement about Lidon having fucked Enar, but this was on a whole other level. He might be certain he chose Enar as a mate, but would he change his mind if he discovered the truth? Enar counted on it.
He heard the door opening behind him
and sensed who it was without looking.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Palani asked.
“No. My head’s too busy.”
Palani studied him for a second, then lowered himself onto the swing next to Enar, lifting up Enar’s legs and placing them on his lap when he’d found a spot. “Wanna talk about it?”
Did he? Every time he talked to Palani, he ended up sharing more than he had planned to. The man possessed an uncanny ability to make you say things you didn’t want to, simply by listening and asking the right questions.
“Turn around,” Palani said, pushing against Enar’s legs.
Enar was confused for a second what he meant, but the beta grabbed his arms and turned him so he ended up with his head against Palani’s shoulder, his body resting against him and his legs stretching out in the other direction. “Why’d you do that?” he asked.
“Because you seem to be able to talk better when you’re being held.”
Enar almost sat up when that truth connected with him. Fuck, Palani really had his number, didn’t he? How had he figured that out so easily? “You’re good at reading people,” he said.
“True, but I’m especially good at reading you.”
Enar chuckled. “And so modest.”
“Modesty gets you nowhere, not in my world.”
“No, I would imagine not. You’ve accomplished quite a bit for a beta.” He cringed at his own words. “That came out wrong. I meant—”
“I know what you meant. Don’t worry, Doc, I have thick skin. I can’t be offended that easily.”
Enar pondered that. “You can’t afford to in the kind of work you do.”
“Exactly. But let’s get back to the part where you were complimenting me.”
A slow smile broke out on Enar’s lips. “I respect the hell out of you for the work you do. Being surrounded by alphas, and then doing as well as you’re doing is nothing short of amazing. You should’ve been born an alpha.”
Palani’s hand found Enar’s neck, and he scratched it with the habitual affection of a longtime married couple. Enar’s skin jumped up in goose bumps before it settled down again, but his increased heart rate still told him how much he liked being held and petted like this.