by Nora Phoenix
“Now that Vieno is taken care of, I’m happy with who I am.”
“Are you? Don’t you wish you’d been an alpha? Don’t you feel like one at times? You’re quite bossy and pushy for a beta.”
Palani laughed, a melodious sound that danced over Enar’s skin. “Aren’t you full of compliments tonight?”
Then he kissed Enar’s head, another one of those little gestures, which made Enar experience things inside he’d never felt before. “Back when Vieno was so sick, that’s when I raged at being a beta. I wanted to help him, wanted to be enough for him, you know? But it was always because of him, never because I felt like an alpha deep down…unlike you.”
Enar’s breath caught. The air grew thin, as if he wasn’t breathing in enough oxygen. He’d admitted parts of the truth before when they had talked, but was he ready to open his heart? Handing his heart to Palani meant risking having it broken, but hadn’t the beta showed already he knew how to handle with care?
“Yes,” he admitted softly. “Unlike me.”
He rubbed his head against Palani’s shoulder, which earned him another neck scratch.
“I don’t feel like an alpha at all, but I don’t feel like a beta either,” he admitted, forcing the words out.
“You don’t?” Palani asked, surprise audible in his voice.
“No. I am one, deep inside. I can act like an alpha, but deep down, I’m a beta…always have been. It’s what comes naturally to me, what I know to be true at the core of my being. I’m so tired of pretending to be someone and something I’m not.”
“So stop pretending,” Palani said, but it wasn’t flippant.
“How? It’s not gonna be accepted.”
“Not in the outside world, no. Not at first anyway. But here with us, you can be yourself or experiment with your identity and behavior to find out what works for you.”
Enar’s eyes welled up. “You’d accept it, just like that…”
“Hell, I already have. You may not realize it, but you’re acting more like a beta with me already, Doc, and I love it. I love that you feel safe enough to show me who you really are.”
“I do feel safe with you,” Enar admitted. “Even more than with Lidon, and he’s known me forever.”
“Lidon’s not a talker, like me. I process through words, and I think that helps you do the same. But he’s accepted you as much as I have, and so has Vieno.”
“Vieno doesn’t know about me,” Enar said, frowning.
“Oh, you can be so stunningly naïve at times, Doc. Of course, he knows. Not in the right terms, but he can see you’re different from other alphas. And he’s fine with that. He chose you as mate anyway.”
The realization that his different-ness was so obvious both scared and comforted Enar. He’d always thought he kept it well hidden, but maybe it had come out more than he’d been aware of with his men. And Palani was right. They had accepted him anyway.
“I’m not ready to tell them yet,” he said.
“That’s okay, Doc. Whenever you’re ready. And in the meantime, if you want to talk about it or experiment with me, you’re more than welcome to. I want you to be able to be yourself with me because I like you the way you are.”
“You do?” he asked, his eyes welling up again.
This time, Palani grabbed his neck and pulled his head sideways for a soft kiss on his lips. “You have no idea how much I like you… One day, when you’re ready, I’ll tell you.”
4
Lidon was working through a load of mail, sighing at the intimidating stack of bills. Every month, he dreaded this, having to go through all the bills and receipts, make sure his finances were all in order. He really needed to hire an accountant to do this for him, but the trust issue had kept him from even looking for someone.
At least it was less lonely with Vieno vacuuming the living room. They’d shared a lazy breakfast after Palani and Enar had left, then an equally lazy round of making out in the bathtub. It was unlike any day off Lidon usually had, but he could get used to this. He’d worried Vieno’s sexual appetite would diminish after his heat, but that was a week ago, and he’d been interested, not to say enthusiastic, every single day.
Over the sound of the vacuum, Lidon heard his phone signaling someone was at the front gate. He swiped to get the camera view and recognized the car. He waved at Vieno to shut off the vacuum and opened the gate with the app on his phone.
“Jawon is here,” Lidon announced. “My cousin. He’ll get started on the renovations outside,” he added when Vieno looked confused.
“Ah, him. Sorry. I can’t wait. I’m so excited.”
Lidon kissed the top of his head. “So am I.”
They walked outside where a big pickup truck was pulling up in front of the house. Lidon hadn’t seen his cousin in a while, and they greeted each other with a hug and a few slaps on the back. For a beta, Jawon was bulky, his body muscled and hardened by manual labor and spending most of his days outside.
“Jawon, this is my mate Vieno,” Lidon said.
As was custom with a mated omega, Jawon didn’t shake his hand but bowed his head in a quick gesture of tribute. “It’s so nice to meet you, Vieno.” He turned toward Lidon. “Mom was ecstatic about your marriage.”
Lidon winced. “And probably pissed as hell we didn’t invite her, right?”
Jawon grinned. “Like I’m gonna get between my mom and you. Good luck with that.”
Lidon’s Aunt Sophie was a wonderful woman, a true force of nature, but family was everything to her. She’d been a second mother to Lidon since his parents had passed away, so he could only imagine her disappointment when she learned about him getting married.
“There were extenuating circumstances,” he said weakly.
“I’m sure there were. Still not touching it with a ten-foot pole. Now, let’s talk about what you want me to do.”
Lidon gestured to Vieno. “I’ll let him take you on a tour and explain everything.”
Vieno pulled his little notebook from his pocket, and Jawon grinned. “You’re organized. I like you already.”
“I have a lot of ideas,” Vieno said apologetically.
“Good,” Jawon said with a warm smile, affirming to Lidon he was the right man for the job. “This place could use it. Let’s get started.”
Lidon followed them as they walked outside of the gates. It was a beautiful day, the warmth of the sun already strong, even though it wasn’t even midmorning. Birds darted through the sky, chasing each other, making Lidon envious with how carefree they were. The land stretched out before him, acres and acres of potential. Of home, his home. It hadn’t felt like that in a while, though the pull of the ranch had always been there, but somehow, the heart had been missing. That was being restored, and he couldn’t be more excited as Vieno described what he wanted. Jawon asked questions every now and then but mostly listened.
“The vegetable garden is a priority for me,” Vieno said.
Jawon pointed to the half-collapsed barn the plot of land sat up against. “We’ll need to renovate that first so you have a spot to put all your tools and equipment in. What scale are you thinking?”
“Scale?” Vieno asked.
“Do you want to keep it at a scale where you can do everything manually? Or should we plan so you could scale it up if you wanted to and bring in farming equipment, like tractors?”
“Is that even an option here?” Lidon asked, surprised.
Jawon nodded. “It sure is. I looked at some old maps and asked my dad about what this place was like in the past to get an idea of what the possibilities were. Dad said Grandpa used this as an operational farm with livestock, dairy, and agricultural crops.”
He pointed to the plot of land in front of them. “This would be most suitable for smaller crops that have a shorter life and can be replaced quickly, like lettuce, radishes, and fresh herbs, or in the winter, spinach and cabbage.”
He gestured to another area. “You have a plot there that’s perfect for v
eggies that need more space, like zucchini, melons, and pumpkin. But on the other side of the little creek, you have a piece of land to grow crops like potatoes, corn, even grain if you wanted to. We could fence off a large plot for livestock…and horses, if you wanted.”
Lidon swallowed, a sadness invading him. Why had he let the place go so much? It had all been too much after the death of his parents, dealing with the grief, trying to find his way in the police academy and then on the force, losing Matteo…then the whole mess with Rodrick, and he’d stopped caring, stopped living.
“I didn’t realize your dad had memories of this place,” he said in a soft tone.
Jawon’s face showed nothing but kindness. “Lidon, he grew up here, just like your dad. Only your dad was the alpha heir, so he inherited, but Dad told me he still lived here, even after your parents got married. After Grandpa passed away, they all moved out, Dad and his siblings.”
Lidon sighed. “I never got the time to talk about this with my dad. Tell your father I’d love to learn about his memories of this place and any advice he has on how to rebuild it. I’m sure he’s been frustrated for years with how I let it go…”
Jawon put a strong hand on his shoulder. “He understands. It was a lot you had to deal with. I won’t deny he was over the moon when I told him you called me in to start working on it, though.”
Lidon nodded, turning to Vieno. “What do you think?”
Vieno looked pensive. “I don’t think we want to start on that scale right away, but it would be foolish not to plan for it. What would it entail now?” he asked Jawon.
“It would mean we’d renovate the barn and make it the right size so it could hold tractors and bigger farming equipment when needed. Everything else can wait and can be done gradually.”
Vieno nodded. “Okay, I like the sound of that. The barn first, then, and the vegetable plot. I also want to restore the chicken coop.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. Fresh eggs are wonderful, plus they’ll be able to eat a lot of your food waste. I would also create a compost corner,” Jawon suggested. “You’ll have to fence it off well to keep out wildlife, but it’s a great way to create natural compost for your veggies.”
They discussed more details while Lidon’s thoughts wandered off. He’d known Uncle Leland had grown up here, but somehow, he hadn’t registered how much he had lost too. His father, when Lidon was born. His home, when he moved out. And then his brother and brother-in-law, when Lidon’s parents had died.
And still, he’d never been anything but kind to Lidon, even though it must have broken his heart to see the ranch grow neglected. He’d never brought it up, had never even tried to fight the will that had left everything to Lidon’s father, and then to Lidon, unfair as it might have been. The alpha heir—the oldest alpha son—inherited everything. That’s what Lidon’s dad had told him. It wasn’t fair by any standard, but it was common practice.
Maybe he should invite his uncle and aunt over for dinner. Word about the foursome relationship he was in would leak out soon enough anyway with Jawon and his men working here, so he might as well stay a step ahead of it and introduce his men on his own terms. The weird thing was that Lidon didn’t even fear their reaction. Somehow, he knew they’d be okay with it, considering how much his uncle valued the old ways, as he called it. The shifter ways.
And not only could he introduce his men and show his uncle the improvements he’d planned but also could ask about what it had been like on the ranch before he’d been born. Uncle Leland might have insights and ideas he could use and maybe some stories he’d love to hear. He hadn’t been ready yet to hear them, but things had changed now. Hell, everything had changed, and it felt like the right time.
Vieno and Jawon were wrapping things up now that Jawon had his marching orders.
“I can’t wait to get started on this,” Jawon said.
“Do you have the manpower?” Lidon asked. “When can you start?”
Jawon shuffled his feet, looking embarrassed. “I can start today if you want. Business has not been good lately,” he said. “With the economy in a slump, small businesses like mine are suffering. People are doing renovations themselves, or they’re postponing them, and I don’t have the skills, manpower, or tools for the bigger construction jobs. So in all honesty, Lidon, working on this project would be a godsend. It would keep me afloat for a while.”
Lidon clamped his hand on his cousin’s shoulder, and Jawon looked up to meet his eyes. “I’m happy it’s working out this way. We’re family, so we need to take care of each other. What timeline are we talking about until you’re done with this phase?” Lidon asked.
“That depends on how many outsiders you want me to bring in.”
“As few as possible. It’s outside the gated area of the house, but it’s pretty close.”
“I know, no outsiders inside the gates.” Jawon grinned. Lidon was glad to see him relaxing again. “I was raised the same way. Look, I can bring in Ori and Servas. I hire them whenever I need extra manpower, and I assume you’d be okay with them, right? They could use the job.”
Lidon nodded. Ori and Servas were two other cousins, both sons of his father’s younger sisters. “That’s fine. I also asked Urien to stop by to service the pool. I had the impression he’s looking for extra work, so he could pitch in as well?”
“That’s good thinking. I know he’s struggling financially after that stunt his ex pulled.”
Lidon raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t know about that. What happened?”
“A gambling problem he didn’t know about. She lost all their savings, then ran up a massive debt in both their names. He filed for divorce and was awarded full custody of their daughter, but he still had to cough up half of his ex’s debts. It was nasty all around.”
“Fucking hell, that sucks,” Lidon said. “Poor guy. Let’s see if we can employ him first, make sure he can provide for his daughter.”
Jawon nodded. “Will do. I’ll draw up a preliminary budget for you to sign off on before I start the work.”
Lidon waved him away. “I don’t need one. You’re family. You’re not gonna screw me over.”
“That’s what Urien thought as well, and look how that turned out.”
“That’s different. You’re my blood. You wouldn’t fuck me over. Besides, we have big plans with this place. You’re gonna be busy here for a while. I want family for this job, and you know I’ll pay you well. In return, I ask for your loyalty and your discretion. If I hear you talk about me or my family behind my back, you’re out.”
Jawon’s face was dead serious as he stuck out his hand to Lidon. “You have my word, alpha.”
5
Ten days after Vieno’s heat, things had settled a bit with the four of them in their complicated relationship, much to Palani’s relief. Not that they’d figured it all out, and he sure as fuck objected to how much Enar worked and the ridiculously long days he made, but they’d found a rhythm together. Sort of.
Palani decided to work on Project X today, his investigation into Ryland, the cop Lidon suspected of being dirty. For Lidon to mention him by name to Palani, he’d have to be damn sure something fishy was going on, considering his strong loyalty to his brothers in blue. Ryland and Excellon were connected, even if he hadn’t figured out why and how, so Palani figured that investigating the drug would also lead him to dirt on Ryland.
His previous investigation into dirty cops had hinted at involvement in the White-Collar Division where Ryland was the second-in-command, but Palani hadn’t dug deeper at that time. His boss had been reluctant to even publish what Palani had found out about lower-level cops, so the beta had figured it wasn’t the time to aim for higher-ranking officers. Lidon’s request changed that.
He’d already deduced from his conversation with Lucan something suspicious was going on. It made zero sense to let a suspect like Lucan go unless they were either protecting a bigger case they were investigating…or a bigger name. Call him jaded, but Palani�
��s money was on the second. Ryland’s boss, an alpha by the name of Lester Cournoyer, didn’t seem to do much actual leading. Technically, he headed the White-Collar Division, but Palani found out the man was months before his retirement…and Ryland was set to take over from him.
Lucan had sent him a screenshot of the statement he’d supposedly signed, and the signing officer had been one Alec Kimble, who reported directly to…Karl Ryland. It was too much of a coincidence, and Palani didn’t believe in coincidence in the first place. So he’d start at the outskirts and work his way inward until he struck gold.
Lucan had provided him with some names of doctors who illegally prescribed Excellon, so he went down the list and called them, one by one, promising them off-the-record quotes and deep background only to get them to talk.
“It’s a crime against omegas,” one doctor argued passionately. “Excellon is far more effective in preventing pregnancy, and yet doctors won’t prescribe it.”
“Why? What’s keeping them from giving their patients access to this drug?” Palani asked.
The doctor hesitated.
“We’re off the record,” Palani assured him again. “This will not lead back to you in any way.”
The doctor sighed. “There are rumors that doctors are being bribed or pressured to prescribe one of the other three drugs rather than Excellon. I don’t know for sure, since no one ever contacted me, but I’m known as an omega advocate. I’d start with doctors who are in it for the money rather than for a personal passion.”
“Have you ever reported your suspicions?” Palani asked.
“I haven’t, but a friend of mine has. He didn’t get anywhere with the cops.”
Palani asked for his name, then called this Dr. Vandermeer next.
“I did report it, first to a telephone hotline the cops have for reporting fraud. That was months ago, but I never heard back. So a few weeks ago, I stopped by police headquarters and filed a report with the department that handles fraud.”