Surprise Baby for the Heir

by Ellie Darkins

  With her eyes fixed on Fraser, she lost sight of her footing, and before she realised what was happening she had caught her toes on a piece of stone hidden among the grass and toppled forward. She let out a squeak of alarm but managed to right herself with nothing but her pride a little dented. She could only hope that Fraser hadn’t seen her. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to say to him, but this wasn’t exactly the entrance that she wanted to make.

  She brushed imaginary dirt from her jacket—she hadn’t been anywhere near hitting the ground—and took a moment to regain her dignity. When she looked up Fraser was just a couple of feet away, standing on the remains of a stone wall, his face grey.

  ‘What?’ Elspeth asked, feeling the colour drain from her own face as she took in Fraser’s expression.

  ‘I thought...’

  He jumped down from the wall and strode across to her. Before she realised what was happening he had pulled her into his arms. She allowed herself to relax, to breathe him in just for a second, before remembering that she had just been reminding herself that he was off-limits. She pushed him away, and it took some strength, given his vice-like grip around her.

  ‘Fraser, what are you doing?’

  He took a deep breath—composing himself, she guessed.

  ‘I heard a noise and I looked over and you were falling,’ he said by way of explanation. Taking a step back from her now that she had disentangled herself, he started to look a little sheepish. ‘I started running as soon as I saw, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to get to you before you hit the ground.’

  Elspeth drew her eyebrows together. ‘I didn’t hit the ground. It was just a little stumble.’

  ‘But you could have done.’

  The words burst from Fraser with unexpected force, and Elspeth guessed that he still wasn’t quite in control of himself.

  She forced herself to be kind, reminding herself that he had come out here full of emotions about his father that he clearly hadn’t been able to handle. Reminding herself as well that he didn’t have the day-to-day experience of being pregnant. Or medical training. She could see from his face that he had been genuinely scared that the baby would be hurt.

  She reached out a hand and rubbed his arm in a way that she hoped would come across as comforting, rather than anything more intimate. ‘I’m fine and the baby’s fine. I promise. I’m sorry you were worried.’

  Fraser took another deep breath, and Elspeth watched as the colour returned to his face and the expression of terror faded. And then, the drama done with, unease began to creep in as she remembered that she still hadn’t quite worked out what she was going to say to Fraser when she got up here. Her somewhat melodramatic entrance onto the scene hadn’t made things any less awkward.

  ‘How did you know I was up here?’ Fraser asked, and Elspeth was grateful for a question she at least knew the answer to.

  ‘Your dad,’ she said simply.

  The word ‘Malcolm’ had been on the tip of her tongue, but at the last minute she’d changed her mind. He was Fraser’s father, whether Fraser liked to think or speak of him that way or not. There was no point in them coming all this way if they weren’t going to get to the bottom of what had happened. But if she had learnt anything from working with her patients, it was that sometimes approaching a problem sideways was more effective than hitting it head-on with a hammer. Maybe if she gave him time and opportunity Fraser would open up to her without the need for her to interrogate him.

  ‘He said that you liked to come up here when you were a boy. He thought you might be here.’

  ‘I love this place,’ Fraser said simply, sidestepping the issue of his father. ‘I always have. It was a fun playground when I was a kid.’

  ‘I can imagine,’ Elspeth said, trying to.

  She looked around, looked up at the empty spaces where windows must once have kept out the wind and the rain. At dark doorways and tiny chambers that had long ago lost their walls. At nooks and crevices that had once hidden secrets and long-finished lives. She brushed a hand against a stone wall, wondering who had touched it before her. Whose lives had played out in this room. How many babies had been born and children raised here.

  It was starting to hit her, she realised, why it was so important for Fraser to bring her here, for him to think of his child here. He and his family had been a part of this place for so long that it was impossible to think of them as separate. They belonged together. And understanding that made her understand how pained Fraser must be to have been so long away from this place. How much his father must have hurt him for him to stay away from so long. She had not given herself an easy task.

  ‘Will you show me round?’ she asked, hoping that her plan of giving him space and time to talk would take effect.

  She’d charged up here after him because she’d been so worried about that look on his face when he’d walked out. It had been disgust and disappointment and fear, all roiling together and fighting for supremacy. But he wasn’t ready to talk now. He was jumpy and sensitive and he needed to do whatever it was he did to take himself off high alert.

  Fraser nodded. ‘Sure.’

  He climbed up to the bank where he had been standing when she had first seen him and held out a hand to help her up. He kept hold of her hand as they walked to a long stretch of great archways.

  ‘This was the great hall. See there? That’s the space where the fireplace would have been.’ Stones marked out a space the size of a decent-sized kitchen on the floor. ‘That would have kept the whole hall warm. And in the early days it would have been where food was cooked, ale was warmed. It was the most important place in the whole castle. Everyone lived in this room. There was no such thing as privacy as we understand it. Eating together, sleeping together...’

  She could imagine what else they had all been doing in the same room, and she didn’t need him to say it. In fact, she needed him not to say it. To be able to keep her mind as far away from sex as possible.

  Elspeth spun around, her eyes tracing a sweeping arc from the flat stones on the ground in front of her up to the jagged stones at the top of the tallest tower, and back to Fraser beside her. He was looking directly at her and her gaze met his, locked with it, and she found she couldn’t break it.

  But she had to.

  She moved her feet first, turning away from him, hoping that she’d have the strength to look away. But he caught her hand, wouldn’t let her break that connection. She knew that she must be imagining the heat she could feel in her palm. The temperature was still barely above freezing, and she was wearing mittens so padded that her hands barely felt as if they belonged to her.

  ‘I wanted you to see,’ Fraser said. ‘I needed you to know why this place is important.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ Elspeth said soothingly, sensing something frantic, urgent, below the surface. ‘I understand.’

  This wasn’t what she had meant. When she’d wanted him to relax she hadn’t meant for him to relax into this. She’d come up here to talk to him about his father, and now here he was looking at her with an intensity that she knew was dangerous.

  He reached for her other hand and pulled her closer. She could see the hurt in his eyes. Could see the toll that confronting things with his father was taking on him. She was sure that under the surface of this confident, sexy, close to irresistible man of thirty was a fifteen-year-old boy who was still reeling from his father leaving him.

  But when his hand brushed her cheek she knew it was the man touching her, not the boy. And when he leaned in close, so that his breath was warm on her icy lips, she didn’t—couldn’t—care what was motivating this. Her heart was pounding with anticipation and her hands were already reaching for him when, with a sigh, his lips finally found hers.

  He moved slowly at first, and she wondered—with what small part of her brain was actually functioning—whether he thought she was going to
startle and bolt. God, she wished she had the strength to do that. She might think—know, even—that this was a bad idea, but his mouth was hot and sure and so incredibly sexy that there was no way she was ever going to want him to stop.

  She wished she was wearing fewer clothes. She felt a pull deep down in her belly as Fraser’s arms wrapped around her waist, lifting her up to him, and she was desperate for the feel of his skin. To get closer. To climb inside him. She pulled off a glove and grabbed a handful of his hair, crushing her body against his, desperately pushing away every reason why this was a bad idea.

  Fraser’s breath was coming shorter now, and her heart was pounding almost painfully in her chest. Oh, this was intoxicating. He was intoxicating. She remembered the first time, at the wedding, up against that tree that had pulled at her dress and grazed her skin, and how she had been so tempted to just take him right there. How did he do this to her?

  Just as she thought that this might be it—she might never be able to stop and would die kissing this man—Fraser broke away, dragging in air as if he had just climbed a mountain.

  ‘God, Elspeth, I don’t know—’

  ‘Don’t you dare,’ Elspeth said quickly, trying to catch her breath, trying to stop real life from invading the moment and making her regret it. ‘Whatever you were about to say, don’t. Say it later, if you have to, but don’t...not just now.’

  She leaned her forehead against his chest, grateful for the difference in height that meant she didn’t have to look him in the eye, that meant she could gather her thoughts and her dignity without him being able to see. She couldn’t even summon up any embarrassment for the way she’d responded to him. Why should she, when he’d responded as passionately as she had?

  Eventually she looked up, and Fraser gave her a smile that made her want to tear his clothes off and then her own, frostbite be damned.

  ‘Shall we walk, then?’ he asked, reaching for her hand again.

  She didn’t have an answer. Couldn’t fathom where this kiss left them now. So she walked along with him, and the knowledge that that kiss was something they couldn’t take back slowly sank in. She had reacted and thought and kissed all in the moment, completely ignorant of the life-changing decision they had just made.

  They couldn’t forget this. Whatever happened now, she had shown him exactly what she felt for him and she couldn’t take it back. They could make whatever sensible grown-up decisions they liked, but she had just proved that.

  The rational part of her brain told her that some of the tension between her and Fraser should have dissipated with that kiss. He was frustrated; she was worked up. They had just been getting something out of their systems. Yeah, right. She knew, and she knew Fraser knew, that they had just proved that didn’t work. Ignoring this hadn’t made it go away. And a kiss hadn’t made it go away either. Which meant...what? They were stuck with it? With each other?

  For a tiny breath of a moment, she allowed herself to imagine it. That this could work. That Alex had been wrong when he had told her she was incapable of having a relationship. Perhaps she and Fraser could take this fragile new thing and protect it and nurture it until it became... She didn’t know what. But until it became something. Something strong. Something that would sustain her rather than drain her.

  ‘I should apologise to my father,’ Fraser said, as they walked back through the long shadows of the castle ruins.

  ‘I think it would be a good idea. And then maybe the two of you should talk. That’s what we came up here for, after all.’

  ‘I know. I’m just still so...so angry with him.’

  Elspeth squeezed his hand, knowing how hard it was for him to talk about this. How vulnerable he was making himself just by having this conversation. ‘You’ve been angry for fifteen years,’ she reminded him. ‘Has it helped?’

  He shook his head. ‘It’s not easy.’

  Well, there was no point arguing with that.

  ‘I’ve never expected it would be,’ she said. ‘You’ve done something incredibly brave by coming here. But do you want a relationship with him again? Do you regret losing so much time?’

  Fraser nodded. ‘I think you know I do.’

  ‘Then don’t lose any more,’ she suggested.

  She saw the words sink in. Saw that Fraser was considering them. She smiled. Fraser was letting her in. It had to be worth something that they were working through this together. It gave her hope.

  ‘What can be done about the estate?’ she asked, knowing that this was always going to be a sticking point between Fraser and Malcolm.

  ‘I’m not sure,’ Fraser said, shaking his head. ‘I have cash I can invest—though I wish I’d known about this before I bought the Edinburgh apartment. Even then, though, I won’t have as much as it will need. Any amount of money runs out eventually, unless you can find a way to provide an income.’

  ‘So what’s to be done?’ Elspeth asked.

  ‘This place needs money coming in. There are some things I’ve tried on other estates that might work. If Malcolm is willing. We need the forests better managed—the timber should be bringing in money, but they’re not sustainable as they are. And then we need to get more tourists up here: sporting weekends, outdoor activities, maybe even consider opening up the castle a few days a year. Convert some of the outbuildings into luxury holiday homes. There are estates similar to this one that are thriving. But it’s going to be a lot of work to turn it around.’

  ‘Are you going to help him?’ she asked, and then wondered selfishly for a moment what it would mean to her if he was. Would he want to be up here full-time? Hours away from where she and the baby would be living?

  Fraser nodded. ‘I haven’t got a choice. I have to do it if I ever want to live here again. If I don’t want it sold off before the wee one is old enough to remember it.’

  They crossed the driveway and entered the tower door into the family apartments, heading for the kitchen first, and warming themselves by the range while they waited for the kettle to boil.

  With a hot drink as a peace offering, they knocked on the study door and found Malcolm still poring over the spreadsheets.

  Fraser pulled up a chair beside his father while Elspeth took an armchair by the fire, which Malcolm had built up while they had been gone.

  As she watched Fraser and his father tiptoe towards a truce her mind drifted back to the kiss that they had shared. If she closed her eyes she could still feel it. Feel the rasp of Fraser’s stubble and the chill of his fingertips when he had touched her face. Next to the fire, she felt her body warming again, felt the pull towards sleep that had come so easily since she had been pregnant.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  FRASER GLANCED BEHIND him and saw that Elspeth’s eyes had closed and she had given in to sleep. Some wingman she was, he thought with an affectionate smile.

  He and his father had started talking about the finances again, picking up where they had left off before Fraser had walked out. But it didn’t matter where he looked. All he could see was her name. All he wanted was an explanation.

  He took a deep breath, knowing what he had to say. ‘I’m sorry for leaving the way I did before. I was surprised to see that you had given Louise money, but that’s no excuse.’

  ‘Aye, well, thank you for the apology. That means a lot,’ Malcolm said, leaning back in his chair with a thoughtful expression on his face. ‘Reckon it’s about time that we talked about her, though, son. It’s been a long time.’

  This time Fraser didn’t bite back at the word ‘son’. There was no point denying who they were to each other. And, whatever had happened since, Malcolm had been his dad, been there for him every day of the first fifteen years of his life. That earned him some rights.

  ‘I don’t understand why you’re giving her money,’ Fraser said, sticking to the present, not ready to fall into the past just yet. ‘You can’t still be fin
ancially responsible for her. You’ve been divorced for ten years.’

  Malcolm nodded thoughtfully. ‘You’re right, and it’s not a regular thing. But she needed to borrow a little money and I wanted to help.’

  ‘Our home is falling down around you and you’re sending her money?’ Fraser tried to keep the anger from his voice, but he could tell from Malcolm’s expression that he hadn’t quite managed it.

  He shrugged. ‘It’s only a few hundred pounds; I couldn’t see what difference it would make to things here. And it’s a loan. As apologies go, son, this isn’t the best I’ve heard.’

  Fraser took a deep breath, tried to control his temper so that they could actually get to the end of this conversation. Elspeth was right. Leaving so much unsaid over the years had done nothing but make him unhappy. Finishing this was going to be hard. But at least he was trying something different. Now that he could see how his anger had been eating at him all this time he wanted it gone.

  ‘So...you’re still friends, then? You and Louise? When we heard that you were divorced... I don’t know. I assumed it had ended as badly as it had with Mum.’

  Malcolm winced, and Fraser could see the pain and regret in his expression.

  ‘I never meant to hurt your mother, Fraser. I wish you could believe that. Back when I met Louise and thought that I was falling in love with her I didn’t want to lie to your mother, so I told her I thought we should separate. If I’d known then what I was doing...how much it would hurt her...that I would lose you...’ Malcolm shook his head, looking tired. Sad. ‘Love’s a confusing thing, Fraser. And sometimes it makes us do—say—things we regret.’