by Kayla Carson
“Well, it's just so out of character for him. Was he drinking? Was it an accident?”
“Tell me something mom, how do you 'accidentally' let another woman ride your cock in the bedroom you share with your fiance?”
“Language!” My mom said, as she sucked in a sharp breath.
“No wonder you were so upset last night.” My dad chimed in.
“Last night, the whiskey made me think that I had over reacted. But.. now that I've slept on it-”
“Of course you have to give him a second chance.” My mom interrupted. “You're moving to New York in less than three months! What do you expect him to do?”
“I expect him to fuck off!” I said, with anger.
“Veronica! What has gotten into you?” She gasped.
I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation.
“This is exactly why I came to dad's.”
“That's not fair. Derek has been in our lives for years. I just find it hard to believe that he could do something so... so sinister.”
“Well, believe it. His exact words were that he was a man, and had needs.”
My dad looked at me like I was the one with horns this time.
“He said what?” He asked, with anger. “It's idiots like that who give men a bad name.”
“What will you do then? Cancel the wedding? Your dad has already paid for-” my mom started, but my dad held his hand up stopping her.
“It's only money. I won't make my daughter marry a man who would be so careless with her heart.”
“What do you know about matters of the heart?” My mom snapped. “The last time I checked you were still single!”
“This isn't about you, and I. This is about Ronnie, and what's best for her.”
“Derek, is what's best for her!”
“Derek is a cheating bastard!” He spat back.
“Enough!” I yelled, and they both looked at me with embarrassment.
“Sorry, honey.” My dad said.
“Thank you.” I said, running my hands through my hair. “Look, I don't know what's going to happen. But what I do know, is that I can't marry Derek. Not anymore.”
“What about couple's counseling?” My mom offered.
“If he was able to be intimate with someone else, then he never really loved me. How does that saying go? If you have a choice between me, and someone new pick them. Because if you loved me, there would never be another option.”
“Life isn't always so cut, and dry Ronnie. Lot's of couples go through rough patches. Especially young couples. The two of you are unique in that you were each other's firsts. That has to mean something.”
“It did mean something. To me.”
“What did Morgan have to say on the matter?”
“I haven't told her yet.”
“I'm calling her right now.” She said, pulling her phone from her back pocket.
“No. You're not.” I said, snatching it from her hands. “You're going home, and I'm getting in the shower. Then, I'm calling a moving company.”
“You're going to move in here?” She asked, crinkling her nose.
“I'm moving to New York.”
“Now?”
“Why the hell not?”
“Sew New, isn't set to open for three more months!”
“All the more reason to go early. I'll have more time to set my apartment up, and get acquainted with the city.”
“Alone?”
If you didn't know her, you'd think that she was worried about my safety. That the thought of her child running off to New York on her own was terrifying, but that wasn't it. Her concern was that I was single. Being the smart girl never got me anywhere socially. The fact that I had managed to snag Derek in high school was still a conundrum for my mom.
His family wasn't wealthy, but they were well off enough and he was a handsome man. He actually dated Morgan before me, but the two of them never hit it off the way that we did. At first, he was intimidated by me. But then, he started to embrace it. He began asking me for help with his business classes, and of course I was happy to oblige.
Looking back now, I think that's when our relationship started to change. It was the little things at first, like he'd forget to kiss me goodbye in the morning or he'd forget an important date. Later, he stopped telling me he loved me when he hung up the phone, and stopped holding my hand in public. Maybe the signs had been there all along, and I was just too wrapped up in Sew New to see it.
For the past six months he had been drifting away, and instead of asking him about it I let it go. Just like I always did. I let every damn thing go because it was easier. It was easier than dealing with the conflict, and the hurt that may have come along with it. Maybe I turned a blind eye, because I simply didn't want to see it.
The realization suddenly struck me like a bolt of lightening, and I started to cry all over again. My entire life I never felt good enough, or pretty enough. And now I felt it more than ever. I had let my own insecurities push Derek away, and when the signs were right in front of me I couldn't even find the courage to confront them.
“Oh honey.” My mom cooed, as she stood to pull me into her arms. “I'm sorry. I just want what's best for you. I know you're hurting, but just try to see things from Derek's point of view.”
I sobbed harder, and suddenly I wasn't sure if was because of Derek, or her. I loved my mom, but the outlook she had on life was nothing like mine. I think part of the reason she was so dead set on me working things out with Derek is because she regrets not doing so with my dad. I see the way she looks at him from time to time, and I can't help but wonder if things could have been different.
I felt my dad's hand on my back, and he rubbed it gently.
“You can stay here as long as you need, Ronnie.” He said.
I pulled away from my mom then, so that I was facing the both of them.
“Thanks, dad.” I said, wiping my tears with my hands. “I just need a few days to get my things together, and make the necessary arrangements.”
“Whatever you need.”
Whatever I needed huh? What I needed right now was a time machine so that I could go back and fix this whole mess. I'd go all the way back to high school to the first time that Derek asked me out, and I'd tell him no. I knew that Morgan had put him up to it, but I still said yes. I had her blessing, and that was more important to me than anything.
The most beautiful girl in school wanted to be my friend, and in doing so she made sure that no one messed with me. I had gone from the nerd who always had her nose in a book to insanely popular over night. Not popular enough to over shadow Morgan though. A part of me knew that was why she picked me, but I also didn't care.
When you're pushed around your entire life, it isn't hard to take the easy way out. Especially if easy involved a makeover, and a new wardrobe. There were a few boys who inquired about me, but Morgan always shot them down. She'd tell me later why we wouldn't have made a good match, and then she'd come to school the next day with the same boy on her arm.
It bothered me at first, but the more our friendship grew the more I stopped letting it. My grades were exceptional, no one was knocking my books out of my hands in the hallway, and I had Derek. Despite his short lived romance with my best friend I thought he was different. I should have known the one boy she let me have wouldn't live up to any standards.
Maybe that's why I stayed with him as long as I did? If we broke up in high school, would another boy even have dated me? Or would Morgan have just warned them all away? I didn't like to think of her as a malicious person, because she wasn't. When I drank too much at my first college party, she was the one who held my hair back and tucked me into bed.
Aside from the teachers, she was the only person who ever really took me seriously. I had no idea where I'd be right now if it weren't for her. So even with all of her flaws, I could never be mad at her. Her father was in the picture, but his way of parenting involved tossing money at all of her problems. She lost her mom when
she was three, and was 'raised' by a slew of nannies. So even though she may have had it all, I often felt sorry for her. Maybe it was why I let her get away with so much?
After promising my mom that I would at least talk to Derek, she finally left my dad's place. I had absolutely no intention of following through on that promise, but some promises were meant to be broken. So, dad and I put his new train set together on the living room floor. We set the station up, and added the mini figures, and cars. I placed the trees, and he wired all of the lights in. We worked in silence, and when we finished, we smiled when the trains came to life.
I was going to miss simple things like this. New York was far enough away that I knew my dad wouldn't be coming to visit. He hated change, and anything over an hour away just took him completely out of his comfort zone. Luckily for him, I enjoyed driving and planned to make the trip back as often as I could. If not for him, for me.
I helped him clean up the mess from breakfast, and then I brought my suitcases inside so that I could shower, and change. I called a moving company next, and then... I called Morgan.
THREE
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, Morgan and I sat in her car down the road from my apartment complex. She had a pair of binoculars, and I had a large iced coffee. Together, we formed our own little stakeout, and the minute Derek left for work we made our way up to my apartment.
Walking into the place that I had called home for the last two years suddenly felt nothing like home. Visions flashed through my mind. First of the woman, and then the look on Derek's face when he knew that he'd been caught. Every emotion that I was feeling that night came rushing back to me, hitting me with so much force that a tear slid down my cheek.
“No tears.” Morgan said, as she brushed past me. “The movers will be here in three hours, and we've got work to do.”
I nodded. She was right. There was no use in wallowing in self pity. The sooner I got my things packed, the sooner I could start over.. whatever the hell that looked like. I watched as she taped the flattened boxes, and tossed them into a pile in the corner of the room. When she had ten, she placed a few on the bed and cleared her throat.
“I know this is difficult, Ronnie.”
“You have no idea.” I sighed, picking up a photo of Derek and I at myrtle beach.
“Just because I've never been in a 'relationship' doesn't mean I don't understand betrayal.”
I set the photo down ignoring her comment, before I started to gather my things from the top of the dresser. My jewelry box, toiletries, knick knacks, and a few random picture frames were all placed into one of the boxes. I decided to leave all the photos of the two of us behind. Where I was going, I didn't need that kind of negative energy.
Morgan gathered all of the items from the adjoining bathroom, and then I found myself in the living room. I boxed up my record collection, and then my books, leaving behind only what he'd paid for. I left the DVD collection, and didn't bother with any of the kitchenware. I contemplated taking the furniture, but the more I looked around the more I just wanted an actual fresh start.
Between the two of us we managed to get everything packed just in time for the mover's arrival. Morgan was feeling a bit more petty than I was and decided to take the dressers, bed frame, headboard, and foot board. She said it was best to make dogs lay on the floor. I didn't question her. I knew that in her own way she was trying to help me, and I'd take all the help I could get at this point.
She was also able to secure our apartment in New York. Even though we weren't set to move in for three more months, it was amazing what a little bit of money could do. Her dad was able to get us the keys, and a new move in date. Next month, we would officially be New Yorkers.
As I watched the movers load the last of my things into the back of their truck, Morgan sidled up beside me and bumped me with her hip.
“Where to now?” She asked.
“Back to my dad's place I suppose.” I said, sounding defeated.
She was quiet for a minute, and I could almost hear the wheels turning in her head. Suddenly she turned to face me with a huge smile on her face.
“Road trip!” She announced.
“What?”
“We have an entire month to kill, Ronnie. What better way to forget all your troubles then to get the hell out of the place that caused them? Just you, and me, and the open road!”
“What about work?”
She rolled her eyes. “What about it? It is spring break season, and you've got money in your savings account right?”
“Yes, but that's for living expenses-”
“Daddy's already paid our rent six months in advance, and will continue to until Sew New gets up and running.”
“I can't just quit my job! I need to put my two weeks notice in, and my mom would never-”
“Stop over thinking everything. We're doing this! In three months you're going to be knee deep in figures, and I'll be covered in fabric swatches. Come on Ronnie, live a little!”
In my head, I knew that running away from my problems wasn't the answer. But the more she spoke, the better her idea started to sound. No work, no stress, just the open road, and a chance for adventure. She gave me her puppy dog eyes then, and stuck out her bottom lip for good measure. We both already knew that it was only a matter of time before I'd concede. So I took a deep breath, and gave her the answer that she was looking for.
“When do we leave?”
THE NEXT FEW DAYS WENT by in a blur. Derek had been calling, and texting so much that I had to change my number. I also decided to sell my car, since my dad gave me his truck. He said that if Morgan and I insisted on this road trip that we needed to be safe, and my ford contour wasn't going to cut it. I figured once I was settled in New York I'd find something else, and until then there was always the subway.
My mom was less than pleased with our plans, and it took a lot of convincing to get her on board. I think a part of her still held out hope that Derek, and I would find our way back to each other. My dad was the complete opposite. In fact, when Derek showed up on his doorstep late last night, he threatened him with a shot gun.
Leaving him was one of the hardest things that I've ever done, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still crying myself to sleep at night. That was one of the perks of going away with Morgan though. No time to cry. I wouldn't be alone long enough to start wallowing, and I'd be too busy keeping her out of trouble.
I had just finished loading my suitcases into the back of the truck when a car I didn't recognize pulled into my dad's driveway. I squinted my eyes, and used my hand as a sun visor, watching as it came to a halt directly in front of me. A few seconds later, Morgan stepped out of the back seat, and the driver jumped out to open the trunk.
“Please tell me you're packed?” She asked, as she dug around in her purse.
“I am..” I said with caution.
She pulled an actual road map out of her bag then, and spread it out on the truck's hood. There in bright pink high lighter was a route. I shot my brow up skeptically.
“What's this?” I asked.
“I've got it all planned out!” She said excitedly. “We'll start here, and stop in Virginia. They have the world's largest roller skate or something like that. Then, we'll head to Maryland. I did some research and Ocean city is on the must see list. Next is New Jersey, and then Connecticut, before reaching our final destination in New York.”
“That's supposed to last us an entire month?”
She rolled her eyes. “We can stay in each state for a week. Take in the sights, try the cuisine, it will be just like when we were looking at College's.”
“Except we're nearly thirty now, still single, and everything we eat goes to our hips.”
“Can you not be a buzzkill for once?”
I ignored her, as I watched the Uber driver begin to back out of the driveway leaving a pile of luggage in his wake.
“What is all of this?” I asked.
“My clothes.” She said, as if I were
a complete moron.
“Do you really need six suitcases? What happened to traveling light?”
“We're going to four different states before we reach New York, I need to be prepared for anything.”
“No wonder dad wanted us to take his truck.”
“Har, har, har.” She said sarcastically, as she stuffed the map back into her purse.
“As long as there's room for the cooler, I guess we'll be alright.” I sighed.
“Don't worry, I've got some things for you too.” She winked.
I rolled my eyes, before heading towards her pile of luggage and grabbing two pieces. She followed suit, and in a few minutes we were all loaded up. I shut the tailgate, and closed the glass door of the cab down after. It was late, and the plan was to sleep here, and head out first thing in the morning.
When I led Morgan inside she headed towards my bedroom, and I found my dad sitting in his usual spot in the living room. The television was on, and I noted that he was watching one of his favorite shows. There had never been a more predictable man. I smiled to myself, as I sat down beside him on the love seat.
“Does this mean you're all packed?” He asked, nudging my elbow.
“Is it bad that I'm having second thoughts?” I asked, resting my head on his shoulder.
“I know it's earlier than you planned, but I think it will be good for you.”
“I'm sorry about the wedding, Dad. I know you've already spent so much-”
“I don't care about any of that.” He interrupted. “I only want you to be happy.”
“What if Derek was it for me?” I whispered. “What if he was the one, and I gave up too soon?”
“You're not the one who gave up, Ronnie.”
“I'm really going to miss you, Dad.”
He kissed my temple then, and the two of us sat in silence for a while watching TV. I thought about everything that had happened, and then what was about to. I never saw myself with anyone other than Derek, and the thought of starting over with someone new was terrifying. Maybe if I were younger, and wasn't about to start the next chapter in my life things would be easier. But that wasn't the case. I was nearly thirty, and even though Morgan, and I had the boutique... I wanted more.