The Wolves Are Everywhere

by Janie Marie

  He pressed his forehead to hers. “Why are you so wise, baby doll? People want to see you burn.”

  Her lips trembled. “Because I already burned when my demon lit my soul on fire.” Her eyes glowed as she stared at the moon. Gold and emerald. They hadn’t done that since she was a little girl—now she was continuously lighting up in the dark. “You know I have angels, and they burned with me. I’m a lucky girl—I had you and Lance telling me my story for as long as I can remember. So when I saw my favorite angel hold out his hand, I grabbed it. And I listened when he whispered—”

  “Glow,” Logan took over, reciting only part of her story as he cupped her cheek, “for you are fire, my darling gold flame. You are beauty in darkness. You are light, Little Moon. Our goddess. Now roar.”

  She grinned, and she might as well have been his goddess roaring in darkness.

  “You are still my beautiful girl, you know that?” He gently slid his thumb over her bruised cheek. “I’m sorry for what I did. I never should’ve let my urges take control. I need help.”

  Her eyes watered. “I’ll help you. Well, not with your urges.” She giggled when he smiled. “And you’re still my Grimm boy. I can’t wait for you to see you’re still him.”

  His entire being ached. He’d thought she’d fall after everything with Trevor, yet here she was, trying to fix things for him. “I don’t want to face her. I don’t think I can stay with her.”

  “Staying with her isn’t something you should decide right away. And you can face her.” She nuzzled his hand. “I believe in you. Because I know something else.”

  “What’s that?”

  Her eyes brightened. “When Logan Grimm loves a girl, he really fucking loves her. You’ll figure out what to do.”

  “I’ll never stop loving you,” he murmured. “I wanted to love her because it would mean I was over you, but I was trying to love a fantasy. You’re still the girl I love.”

  She touched his lips, lightly trailing her fingertips over them. It was something she’d always done, but there was sadness in her eyes each time—she wasn’t finding what she was looking for when she touched him. Her hand fell away. “You’re still the boy I love. It’s okay. I just got lucky with Ryder. He knows I’ll never get over you, and he allows me to embrace every bit of beauty we shared.” Her eyes dimmed. “But you started to give her your heart. I can tell by the way you’re trying so hard to hide behind anger. You don’t want to accept you were falling for the girl she pretended to be.”

  “I already told her I loved her,” he admitted. “I’m so stupid.”

  She said nothing.

  “I’m realizing my lies mirror hers. I made a fake Logan Grimm, pretended I wasn’t an asshole. I played a victim while she made you the bad guy. I embraced it because it made me feel better.”

  “You said you showed her my picture at the gallery,” she mumbled. “You started opening up.”

  “Leaving out the parts I was too afraid to tell,” he muttered. “I think she was hurt because you’re my Red Riding Hood.”

  A sort of vicious smile teased her lips. “Foolish girls will always want to be your Red Riding Hood. Like a silly story where they’re the main character, and you’re the Big Bad Wolf who will fall for them. Eat them. Don’t know how many times I’ve seen girls write stuff about you.” She made her voice extra girly, “Forget about Prince Charming, go for Logan Grimm, the Big Bad Wolf. He can eat you better.”

  He chuckled, kissing her head. “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you? And I had no idea girls said that about me.”

  That mischievous smile stayed on her face. “Yes. She was clever when she wrote our story—knew exactly what anyone reading it would assume.”

  “You mean I’m not some sexy Big Bad Wolf for horny women?” It broke his heart because that’s exactly what Kylie wanted him to be.

  “You’re not,” Janie said firmly. “You wanted to be so you could punish yourself. But I won’t let you embrace that. All girls have their Big Bad Wolves—I see mine now. And any girl who tries to make you the wolf isn’t seeing you. He’s bad, not a fucking sex symbol.” She huffed, her pulse jumping on the monitor. “I mean, we know there are different types of wolves, and I love quite a few of them, but the Big Bad Wolf is not something to embrace. Ever.”

  “So protective, baby doll.” He smiled softly, wishing he could just hug her forever, and never see her so broken like this.

  “I’m just trying to help you accept you’re not as bad as you think.”

  He smiled at her. “Stop letting me off the hook. Let me pout.”

  She beamed up at him. “Five more minutes of pouting, then promise me you’ll stand by her. Even if you decide later that you don’t want to be with her, which you can do, support her like you said you would. There’s nothing wrong with supporting her. Don’t forget she’s been abused and needs serious therapy for everything she’s suppressed and done. Can you imagine if you ever saw Lance doing that to me? How messed up that would make you?”

  Logan couldn’t bear to imagine it.

  Janie kept going, “Just tell her you support her for getting help. You don’t have to promise anything else. You barely started your relationship, but it means everything if the person you care about is not treating you like you’re crazy. Or that it’s a bad thing to get help. You remember that with me, right? I believed it was wrong to want to get help because of how my family acted.”

  “That’s why I’m thankful Ryder came into your life.” He hugged her, wondering if he’d ever come close to being as good as Ryder was.

  She wore a faint smile. “Me too. But Kylie needs someone she cares about—you. She needs someone who won’t be super harsh. I knew she wouldn’t go to the center with me saying it, but maybe she’ll give it more thought if it comes from you. I gave her a phone. You could call her. Just be calm. You know Ryder was mean when he confronted her, Luc too. They have a whole new level of reasons to dislike her. Only those of us who see souls will understand why she’s one they loathe.”

  Seeing souls? It was a reminder there was more going on than just Kylie’s lies. He was in a world where monsters looked like everyone else, a world where the heroes were monsters too. “I’ll think about it,” he said, trying not to freak out about what it all meant, but the shit with Kylie overwhelmed him. “I tried to go in there to do just that, but she ran her mouth. I’m distracting her from her problems. That’s all she has used me for. I guess I did the same.” He huffed. Janie didn’t understand how much it hurt him to hear Kylie say that shit about her. “I should’ve put together that she was a bully when she saw a picture of us and called you chubby.”

  She snorted, but whined, grabbing her throat. “I guess I’m lucky Ryder’s an ass man.”

  “True. Your ass is what dreams are made of.” He glanced down. “You have great tits too. Really, they’re better than I thought they’d be, but your ass—I miss it.”

  “Logan.” She laughed, coughing.

  “What? The first time I made it clear I wanted you started because your ass was taunting me to make a move.” He grinned, remembering her bent over. “All your dancing and your legs . . . damn.”

  “Shut up. You’re supposed to be thinking about Kylie.”

  She was right, but he couldn’t. “I feel sick thinking about her. I never should’ve started dating her.”

  “I thought y’all were cute,” she said distractedly.

  “Are you thinking about us?” He smirked at her faint smile. “And you told me not to get turned on by you?”

  She squeezed his hand, turning on her side again so she couldn’t see him. “You care about her. Some part of the girl you’ve been with was genuine.”

  He laid his head behind hers, still rubbing her neck. “I lied to her about so much. I told her I never slept with a girl without fucking her, never just cuddled in bed, never snuck in and slept at a girl’s house.”

  “Well, you weren’t exactly lying.” She pulled his hand to rest
against her heart. “We were obviously asleep when we slept, therefore not having sex. But I think there were times we woke up practically doing it.”

  He smirked. “I was asleep. It doesn’t count.”

  She giggled, making him laugh. “Gosh, you sneaky bastard. You really did lie. You snuck me in your room because there was no need to sneak into mine—no one was ever home. And we rarely just cuddled, so I see why you wouldn’t count our cuddling as just cuddling.”

  He closed his eyes. “Yeah, I’m an asshole. That’s what really sucks most. I’m just like her.”

  “No, but you’re pretty sneaky,” she murmured.

  “Yeah.” He kissed her head. “I guess no one really cares I counted every time with you as making love instead of meaningless sex or fucking. I mean, what we did is considered fucking—we went at it hard and just about everywhere.” Images of holding her against the wall at his house, covering her mouth as he thrust in and out like a madman—of pulling her on his lap in the driver’s seat after parking in the woods, lying her in the grass in those woods, the cold ass creek, in the pool, the locker room, the girls’ bathroom at school, the movies—the backseat of the SUV while Gawain and Gareth drove, arguing about where they were all eating. The list went on and on.

  Janie’s heartbeat sped up beneath his hand, and she breathed out slowly.

  Logan lifted his head, chuckling when her bruised skin flushed. “Thinking about us?”

  “Shut up.” She blew out a breath. “Yeah, I don’t see you telling her all that after she flipped out so hard just knowing I was your ex-girlfriend.”

  “I panicked.” He lowered his head behind hers again. “You know, I thought she was you when I first saw her. Well, like a ghost of you because of the red hood. It freaked me out. I think that started all this; I instantly associated her with you. Like I was getting my chance all over again.”

  She said nothing.

  “I gave her your project,” he mumbled.

  “Which one?”

  “The bug one I drew for you—when I asked you to be my girlfriend. I still had it. Trevor had asked for it, and I told him no. That’s why she was there that day. He left her to do it, and I snapped. I looked for your project, and I gave it to her to use, then I took her to my fight.”

  “She thought it was yours?”

  “Yeah.” He felt like such a piece of shit. It was something he cherished with Janie, and he used her, like he always used her. If he was going to make amends, he had to tell her the truth. “She’d been drawing for a few hours, then I went and tossed it to her. I told her, ‘I’m not giving it to him. I’m giving it to you.’ I saw her melt and completely forget about Trevor.”

  “Damn,” she whispered. “That’s a panty-dropping line in the whole situation, but you lost all points for it being my project—that was special to us. It’ll break her heart to find out you asked me out while you were doing it for me.”

  He lightly squeezed her. “Then I got you naked right after.”

  She sighed, patting his leg. “We don’t have to be ashamed of our past. I’ll always love our happy times. That was one of the best days ever to find out you really loved me as much as I loved you.”

  “I know.” He sighed. “I’m just angry because maybe none of this would’ve happened if I’d accepted things with you. I saw her with her hood and instantly wanted to save her because it somehow meant I saved you. And she was so into Trevor.”

  “All the girls are.” She exhaled, and it looked like it hurt by the way her body vibrated. “I mean, he’s like a blond-haired and blue-eyed, pretty boy version of you.” She grinned, adding, “Luckily, I’ve never been a fan of blond guys, so I never fell for his act. I dig you boys with your dark hair.”

  “Is that your way of saying I should’ve known better? She was a blonde?” He gave her a little squeeze.

  “No, I think you do like blondes. It’s okay.”

  He didn’t know what he liked, except that realizing he really did still love Janie meant he hadn’t really loved whoever Kylie was.

  “Trevor’s soul,” she said. “I don’t know if he’ll ever change. He said things, like he’s dreamed of life there. Lance said he hasn’t had access to the stories, but the bathroom I dream of—he knew.”

  Logan stared out the window as the moon came into view again. He knew what she was talking about. She’d told him about the nightmares of seeing herself as a little girl, pinned below a boy as he appeared to fuck her on a bathroom floor. Worse, she’d say sometimes he’d look like him. “It’s not your fault if a dark soul chooses not to change. At least he didn’t get you like that dream.”

  She gripped his hand tightly. “He did something else this time.”

  He frowned. “What?”

  Her body trembled. “You locked the door to your room. I unlocked it to go look for medicine. When I finished talking to you, he was waiting for me. He had my knife and Glock. It was my fault.”

  Logan kissed her hair. “No, baby. I didn’t search the apartment properly. I hadn’t even checked the balcony. That’s how he got in.”

  “He walked to the bathroom door, Logan. He was going to kill you in front of me.” She turned her head, her teary eyes focused on him. “When he turned the knob, I told him I’d do anything he wanted. I thought he’d just take me with him somewhere.”

  Logan’s heart raced as he cupped her cheek. “You didn’t tell Ryder this, Janie. What are you talking about?”

  Tears spilled free from her eyes as she croaked, “He was going to kill you. You wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

  “Baby doll, what did he do to you?” His hand shook.

  She pointed to her mouth. “I’m sorry. Please don’t tell Ryder.”

  Logan couldn’t breathe. “No, baby.”

  “I’m sorry,” she sobbed, rolling to bury her face against his chest. “He held the knife to my throat but pointed the gun toward the bathroom door.”

  Logan cradled her head, his mind not catching up with the rage and sorrow roaring from his soul. Oh, God, what had she done?

  She clutched his shirt. “I did it, hoping I’d give you time to get out—that he’d drop the gun or something. He got too excited, and he set it down to hold my head. I acted into it, and he let his guard down, dropping the knife to use both hands. That’s how I got him.

  “I reached for the knife. I was all for cutting his dick off then—I don’t know. He saw, though, and he shoved his dick in too deep. I gave up on the knife and punched him ’cause I couldn’t bite with how he had me gagging.”

  “Baby, stop.” He covered his eyes, knowing he had been doing. “God, I was jacking off. I was thinking about you. I’m so sorry.”

  She cried, hugging him. “I tried to fight him like you showed me, but he was so strong, and he pinned me. He told me he knew the baby had been yours, and I’d pay for it. You’d see with my corpse who I belonged to. When you called out, he covered my mouth and cut me. I yanked the knife free and stabbed his leg. Then he choked me.”

  Logan saw the whole scene in his mind.

  He’d shoved the bathroom door open and froze.

  Blood. There was so much blood.

  Trevor pressed a knee pressed down on Janie’s chest as he squeezed both hands around her neck. She couldn’t even scream. All she could do was frantically kick her legs and claw at Trevor’s hands as tears streamed down her red, busted face.

  Then her arms fell away, her eyes rolled back, and a guttural sound left her mouth.

  The paralyzed state broke when Trevor leaned his face close to hers, and fear and rage took control of Logan’s mind and body.

  He ripped Trevor off her and lost all sense as he punched him over and over again. Every part of his soul roared in fury, torn between destruction and the need to check on Janie. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to kill. He would kill.

  Then he swore he heard Janie whisper his middle name, and he halted, his bloody fist hovering over Trevor’s unconscious form.

 
Logan turned, his eyes locking on Janie, and he knew she hadn’t spoken at all. There was no rise and fall to her chest. No cries.

  He released Trevor and snatched up her phone before rushing to her side.

  Her eyes were open but unseeing as they stayed fixed on the ceiling. The blood vessels had ruptured in them, filling the whites of her eyes with red. She didn’t even look like his baby doll anymore.

  “Janie,” he shouted as he dialed 911. “Baby, answer me!” He shook her, but her head limply rolled to the side. His eyes burned as he touched her stomach. The cut looked deep, and blood still seeped out while more spread beneath her. “Janie!”

  “911, do you require the police, ambulance, or fire department?”

  “I need an ambulance,” he said, his hands shaking as he tried to find a pulse. “My friend’s been strangled. She’s bleeding. Oh, God, help me. She’s not breathing. She’s not breathing! Janie! Baby, answer me!”

  “Sir, I need your address.”

  He rattled off his address and rubbed his face, shaking when he smeared her blood into his eyes. “I’m gonna do mouth-to-mouth. Please hurry.”

  He ignored her requests for information regarding the attacker still being present and cleared the blood out of her mouth. “Oh, baby, don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.” He blew a breath in.

  “Please don’t tell Ryder,” she whispered, freeing him from the nightmare he saw every time he closed his eyes.

  “Too fucking late.” Ryder’s voice sounded right behind him.

  Janie gasped, gripping Logan tightly as he sat up.

  He shielded her from Ryder’s glare. “Don’t look at her like this. Calm down.”

  Ryder growled, pausing when Janie whimpered and hid behind him.

  “Ryder, relax.” Logan held up a hand in surrender.