by Fiona Murphy
I kept the long, massive ebony table but changed out the dark leather chairs for leather chairs in a cream color. The wall behind the buffet table was covered in a damask ivory and silver to soften the area. Petra replaced the bland lighting above the table with a long rectangle light that runs the length of the table. Crystals shimmer, softened by a white canvas shade. A scenic reproduction of a vineyard in Tuscany is the art for the wall in the dining area.
We left the kitchen, Cesare’s office and his workout room alone. In my room I picked out wallpaper in ivory and shimmer damask for the accent wall. I also picked out an ottoman that matches my chaise.
In the bedroom there is a new thick, plush white rug. I went with a damask wallpaper with the pattern in a raised velvet in gray and silver. I actually like the white on white in here, it feels clean and light. Although the raised velvet wallpaper is only for one accent wall, I had all the other walls covered in a cream grasscloth-textured wallpaper to soften the stark white on them. Jolene had also bought a new comforter and three different duvet covers of various patterns in grays and blues, then showed me how to change them out to replace the black silk comforter.
I’m nervously pacing, hoping Cesare likes it as much as I do. I check my phone to see I missed a text from him. Billings called and asked if they could get together, and Billings wanted it to be a one-on-one meeting. The text is only three minutes old, but Cesare texts a question mark as I bite my lip, trying to come up with a response that doesn’t look like I’m whining. Sighing, I text I understand and I’ll miss him with a kiss emoji.
He responds he’ll miss me too and not to wait up, as Billings sounds like he’s in a mood. With a groan I respond with a simple “k,” then throw myself on the couch. Huh, this is super comfy.
At loose ends on a Friday night, I could curl up with a book, a sexy book. Only I can’t stop thinking about what Bethany said about keeping the apartment. I text Lydia and ask if she’s free for dinner. It’s been a few weeks since we had lunch on a rare Saturday when Cesare and Dante had to meet with a client.
Lydia responds she’s free. I ask her if she wants to come over or if she would prefer to go out. I’m relieved when she says she’s happy for someone else to cook dinner, and she’s been looking forward to wearing sweats all day. I offer up a few different meals I’m pretty good at making, and she picks the swordfish. Running to the kitchen, I pull out the swordfish to defrost. Then dig out asparagus to go with the red potatoes. I do a caprese salad in case she wants something a little extra.
After I show her around, I go back to the kitchen to plate up our food then pick out a wine I’ve grown to love. “This place is gorgeous. You did an awesome job.”
“I hope Cesare thinks so too. I mean I changed his whole home.”
Lydia shakes her head. “No, you changed your home. You live here too now. It sounds like he’s happy you took the initiative to make this a real home, the way you want it to be. Also, hello, it’s a massive improvement and he said he didn’t spend much time here. Now that he’s been spending time here because of you, I’m sure he was sick of it too.”
“That’s actually something I wanted to ask you about. I still have my old apartment, I didn’t give up the lease. Bethany made it seem like a big deal. I think it’s too soon. The rent is a steal for the area and the building, and since I can afford it...I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think I understand where you’re coming from. If it was a financial hardship, then I’d tell you not to be stupid. Since it’s not, I get it and I’m not going to tell you to let go of it, it’s a security blanket in a way. You have it if you need it, all the while hoping you don’t. I do think she’s right, I wouldn’t tell Cesare because I think he would demand you give it up immediately. He also might be a little hurt by you feeling like you need it.”
Nodding, I agree. “You’re right. I’m not going to keep it forever, just until he talks about forever. So you never said, how did you become a stylist?”
I have more fun than I thought I would. We talk for hours. Then go back for an evening snack with ice cream. When she starts yawning, I ask the front desk to get her a cab then walk her downstairs. Back in the condo I’m surprised it’s already almost midnight.
I take a long, hot bath with the yummy-smelling oil Cesare used that night. Then I decide to wear a sexy babydoll in black lace Gertrude had suggested. In bed, I turn off the lights but I can’t get comfortable, tossing and turning for what feels like an hour even though I am starting to get tired I can’t sleep. I hear the front door, but it takes forever for Cesare to come into our room. I reach out and turn on the bedside lamp.
He’s looking around the room, then his eyes come back to me. I’m propped up against the headboard. “Thank you for making this space a home. I love it.”
“Really?” My teeth catch my bottom lip.
Nodding, he begins undressing. “Yes, really.”
“If you really love it. Then maybe I deserve a reward for doing a good job.”
Naked now, I can’t take my eyes off my favorite part of him. “A reward?”
I nod, then lean over to open the bedside table. I take out the lube I had purchased and put in it earlier today. “A reward for the both of us.” I offer him the lube.
His smile warms me to my bones, and I just melt for him. “Indeed.”
Cesare comes down on the bed, lifting me up and over him. I gasp as I wonder what the hell he is doing. Then I understand as he lowers me down on his chest. “Good girl. You’re going to ride my mouth until I make you come so many times your whole body couldn’t resist my cock in your ass if you wanted to.”
My hands go down on the bed to catch myself. Okay, that sounds like a plan. This is one of Cesare’s favorite positions. I don’t dislike it, but sometimes he makes me come so many times it’s almost painful. Tonight I welcome it. As usual I’m already wet for him, but he takes me to the edge hard and fast with his amazing mouth.
Tongue deep, fingers teasing, he has me moaning and gasping through an orgasm in minutes. Fuck. He doesn’t let up, not stopping as my entire body shakes uncontrollably. Now his fingers do more than tease—they dive deeper into me. Holy fuck, those fingers turn, finding that spot and demanding my climax, wringing it from me. Oh god, I scream as I buck against his mouth.
Please, it’s enough, I beg. Please fuck me, I want your cock. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t even hesitate. Those fingers slide up into my ass. After several weeks using the toys, using the largest one for the last few weeks, my body accepts them easily. For the first time he slows down, those fingers lazy as they move inside me. He’s tormenting me, I swear. I plead for his cock, and Cesare chuckles. I think I might hate him. Until his mouth begins to take me to heaven all over again. Okay, now that’s really enough. Please, I beg.
He still doesn’t stop. Too much, this is too much. With his mouth driving me crazy and those fingers where I want his cock, he sends me crashing into another climax. I’m in tears now; my body feels too sensitive. Begging, I fall forward, unable to hold myself up.
“Hmm...now you’re ready.” I feel him move out from under me, but I can’t even lift my head. I hear the lube flip open, then Cesare moan as I know he coats himself. Before I can turn my head, his hand comes down on my hips, forcing me onto my knees. My bones still feel like mush but I try, excited even through my languor.
Oh, I catch my bottom lip as the head of his cock presses slowly into me. From using the toys and the four orgasms in a row, there is no resistance. Hot, so hot, the toy wasn’t hot but this is no toy this is all Cesare, hot, hard, and thick. Deeper, yes, more, I can take it, please. Oh god, he’s buried inside me to the hilt. We’re both working to swallow air as we take in the feeling. I whimper his name, unable to form other words. His hand glides up my neck, his grip firm as he begins to move. Slow, small thrusts build to faster, harder, more. This isn’t good, this isn’t hot; this is fucking phenomenal, better than any hope I had of this moment.
My
head goes down as my arms give out, unable to hold me up. Everything in me is centered on Cesare inside me as the pleasure surges through me from my fingertips to my toes. There is nothing else but this moment, this feeling. Harder, yes, faster, please, the words are barely out when the climax I thought was still just out of reach slams into me with the force of a freight train at a hundred miles an hour. The scream is squeezed out of my lungs as I bury my face in the mattress. As the world slips further away, I hear Cesare groan my name then feel him come deep inside me. Hot, wet electricity zips up my spine, tipping me over into darkness.
21
May
Alicia
Although my body is still humming with satisfaction from making love with Cesare, as I lie in bed my mind won’t settle. Tomorrow Bethany graduates. Although, I was shocked by Cesare offering to come with me to the graduation I had been set to jump on the offer. Until stupid Dante reminded Cesare one of our most important clients was flying in for an afternoon meeting from New York that day. Even though I was disappointed I understand, I was just happy he wanted to come. It’s the middle of May and it’s been three months since I moved in. And every day feels better than the last. All because of Cesare. Every day I fall a little more in love with him.
It’s also because of him that I finally have an awesome graduation present for Bethany: a weekend in London. I had no idea he owns a private jet, and in the next breath he was offering it up for Bethany to take to London. It was also faster than a commercial flight, it would take only five hours instead of the almost eight hours of an airline. Since Bethany only has four days between graduation and her flight to Mexico, I was thinking of a weekend in New York. However, Cesare’s idea is way cooler. Then I told him I always wanted to see London. His reaction when he realized I was going too has me smiling even three week later.
“Why do you have to go too?” As he pulls me into his arms, those wrinkles across his forehead scrunch with unhappiness.
Running a finger over those lines, I whisper against his mouth. “Because she’s my little sister and she’s not going alone. She doesn’t have many friends. Her best friend is in Los Angeles. I’ve also always wanted to travel to somewhere that wasn’t less than two hours away from here.”
“I don’t want you to go.” His lips brush mine over and over, teasing me. “It’s good for your sister to be independent.”
His teasing driving me crazy, my arms go around him to hold him in place for a proper slow kiss. “It’s only three days and two nights. You’ll have the bed all to yourself. Grover will be here to keep you company.”
“I don’t want the bed to myself. I changed my mind, you can’t take the jet.” He tries to pull away.
Even though he’s trying to pull away, I feel his cock throbbing against my hip, so I don’t let him go. “Pretty please with I’ll suck your cock all night long on it.”
He stops. “How about pretty please with just two days and one night of you gone?”
I rub against him. “Hmm...how about pretty please with it will make me unbelievably happy and grateful to have a man who cares about me so much he’s willing to put my happiness before his own.”
His groan is loud against my neck. “Christ, you don’t fight fair.”
“You taught me well.”
When he pulls back to look down on me, I shiver at the glow in his eyes, and his wolfish smile. “Fine. But you spend this weekend completely naked for me.”
Oh lord, he’s insane. It’s something he’s teased me about often. Little did he know I already planned to spend Saturday, his birthday, completely naked, except for the dinner we planned on having at Dante’s with Enzo. “You’re on. We keep the door locked, and I’m naked all weekend long except for when we go have dinner at Dante’s.”
He presses his cock against me. “Let’s seal the deal.”
The weekend had been so wonderful, I’m already planning to do it again soon.
“Alicia, why didn’t you get your sister a bed for when she spends the night here?” Cesare asks as he dries his hair. “Were you planning on making her stay in a hotel?”
Crap. Over the last few months I retrieved a few things from my apartment with the explanation I got them from storage. Which technically my apartment is right now. I have made up my mind I’ll let my landlady know I won’t be renewing when my lease is up in four months. Although I’m pretty sure Cesare still won’t think it’s soon enough.
“Alicia?”
“She’s not staying here. She’s staying at my apartment.”
He goes still, the towel in his hands. “Your apartment?”
“Yes.”
“You haven’t given up your apartment?”
Eyes down, hating the confusion on his face, I shake my head.
“Why not?”
“My lease is up in September.” My stomach is in knots. “It’s a great apartment. I’ve lived there for over seven years. I thought better safe than sorry.”
I don’t hear him move; all I know is his hand is in my hair. His grip is tight as he pulls me back to look at him. “Do you think I’m going to let you go?”
My throat works as my fear won’t allow me to lie. “I don’t know.”
“Know this: I’m not letting you go. You belong to me. Do you understand me, Alicia?”
He’s nearly vibrating with aggression. “Yes.”
“Tomorrow we go to your apartment. We bring everything back you want to keep. Once your sister has left for Mexico, you give your landlord your notice.”
“Yes, okay.”
With a sigh he lets me go. I’m a little lost without his hand. For the first time since I have slept with him, when he climbs into bed he doesn’t pull me into his arms. Instead he turns onto his side with his back to me.
He couldn’t have hurt me more if he slapped me. Even though I know I hurt him, I can’t hold back the tears. Cesare has to know I was only trying to protect myself. He called me his but he never told me he loved me; he never talked about a future.
I can admit it now: I said I didn’t want a man in my life because it was easier than saying no man wanted me. Without a man in my life I believed children weren’t an option. Although it made me a little sad, I consoled myself with the thought that at least I could sleep as late as I wanted or leave the house at the drop of a hat or spend all day reading. They were small pleasures that never felt like a fair trade-off. Now that I’ve been dumb enough to fall in love with Cesare, I want his babies with a fierce desire almost as strong as my need for him. I dream of having little boys with big black eyes and dimples who tumble around the house and a big backyard. Is that a dream Cesare shares too? If not, would he at least be open to it, or is it not even an option?
I’m surprised to hear Cesare swear seconds before he pulls me into his arms. Sniffing I bury my face in his neck. “I’m sorry. This all feels overwhelming sometimes.”
“Talk to me, Alicia. Whatever your thoughts and fears are, I need you to share them with me. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
I nod, grateful for the cover of darkness as I swallow the fear lingering within me.
***
Cesare
Alicia is driving me crazy. It feels like we move three steps forward then two back. When I called Hannah to tell her I wouldn’t be in today, her shock wasn’t a surprise. I’ve never not gone into the office unless I was laid out sick. But this feels too important to leave up to Alicia to do on her own. I really believed she saw this place as her home, the changes she made were so complete, done with such care. I loved the changes, from more comfortable furniture, to the colors on the walls, to the pictures from the past. How could she put everything she did into transforming this place into a home, and still keep her old apartment as an out?
Another punch to the heavy bag lands with satisfaction. This morning I’m so filled with frustration I hadn’t even started with weights like I normally do, my first thought was getting to the bag. Heat hits me then flares, and I turn to
find Alicia in the doorway watching me. Her big eyes are wide, her breathing shallow; those beautiful breasts swell below my gaze with her nipples becoming fine points of desire. In this way, there are no secrets she hides from me. One look at her and I’m hard, only I don’t trust myself to touch her right now. We also don’t have much time. I know Bethany’s graduation is at one, and it’s a little after eight thirty. The way I feel, she’d be very late.
“Give me ten minutes. I need to shower then we’ll go to your apartment to pack everything up.”
She nods before continuing down the hall. I go take a shower.
I carry up the boxes I had Daniel purchase along with a few rolls of tape before picking us up today. When he drops us off, I let him know we’ll be a few hours. I’ll call him when we’re done.
Alicia shakes her head. “I don’t think we’ll take the full two hours.”
He shrugs. “I’ll be close by.”
As she opens the door to her apartment, the memory of pressing her up against it flashes brightly. Walking inside, I study the room, recalling my fear she had brought Wyatt here. It’s not large, but it’s clean and cozy and easy to see her touches here that match the way she decorated our home.
We work for an hour and it looks like she’s right, we’re almost done. I had laughed at finding the two vibrators in her bedside table. When I told her we would be playing with them tonight, her eyes glowed up at me with excitement. Damn, she is beautiful. I hadn’t been able to resist pulling her to me for a kiss.
I spot a canvas carryall at the top of the closet and take it down. Alicia’s eyes go big. “I’ve got it. It just goes in a box.”
Immediately my antenna goes up. I unzip it. Inside there are two pairs of jeans, a pair of sweats, two T-shirts, and one sweater. Which seems normal until I find a box of granola bars, two packets of tuna in a tear-off pouch, a large Ziploc bag that holds what looks like a thousand in cash and her passport. That’s not all, there’s a large switchblade knife, a heavy flashlight and just as I’m shaking my head, trying to figure what all of these things are doing in one bag, at the bottom of everything is a small vibrator, a bottle of lube, and a four-pack of batteries. My eyes go up to her. “What in the world is this?”