His Dirty Demands

by Fiona Murphy

  ***

  Alicia

  I roll over with a groan. Damn it, I had way too much wine last night. I’m embarrassed it was so much wine Cesare had to put me to bed. Burying my face in my pillow, I struggle to remember who was here when it happened. Then sigh with relief as I recall Hannah and Ruthie left early because they were both tired and the baby was fussy. They left with plenty of leftovers, then not long after Lydia also left, but only took pie for her breakfast.

  I’m cranky as I find the note from Cesare telling me he needed to go into the office today to handle a few things and see a client, he’d be home as soon as he could. I stumble into the shower and turn on the hot water as high as I can take it.

  Bethany is in the kitchen making bacon. “Morning, sunshine,” she calls as she waves with her spatula.

  “Please don’t be chipper before I’ve had my coffee.”

  “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

  “Please don’t talk before I’ve had my coffee.”

  She makes the motion of buttoning her lips. Don’t pick up a knife. Don’t pick up a knife. Ignore her and make the coffee. My birthday present from Claudine was an easy to use push-button coffee maker. I do like the pot espresso maker, but this is what I use when I don’t have the patience for the pot. I swallow some water as I wait for the coffee to finish.

  I sit down with my coffee and bottle of water in front of the plate Bethany has made for me. After some coffee and food I’m beginning to feel human. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but what’s with you making me breakfast?”

  “I felt bad I didn’t really help you with making all that awesome food. Instead I slept the day away like a bum.”

  “Please, you aren’t a bum. You’ve been working flat out. You obviously needed the sleep. Don’t worry about it.”

  She shrugs. “I figured breakfast would help me with my guilt, and it did. Anyway, Cesare was talking last night about you guys going away for Christmas. He said you were concerned about me for the holiday. You know I love you. Because I love you, I want you guys to go away together by yourselves. We’ve had twenty-three years of Christmases together; this will be the first for the two of you. This is your time to start making good memories together. Without worrying about me. Like I said, I’m only taking off three days, and as much as I loved our trip to London the whole three-day thing left me exhausted. I’m more than happy to just hole up and get some rest to recharge.”

  “Did Cesare put you up to this?”

  Her eyes go wide. “No. He didn’t. He was trying to pick my brain on where I would like to go so I could help him talk you into it. When I told him about only having three days, he shrugged and said never mind because he knew you wouldn’t want to leave me.”

  Her surprise is so genuine I don’t doubt her. “Okay, I never know with him. When he wants his way he can be a force to be reckoned with.”

  Bethany laughs. “I know, he’s kind of awesome that way. I love him—he’s perfect for you.”

  ***

  Alicia

  Saying goodbye to Bethany, I get a little weepy knowing I won’t see her for months. Cesare closes the door behind us, then guides me toward the couch. He presses me down as he sits down on the ottoman, keeping ahold of my hand. The expression on his face reminds me of how he looked when he was holding Amari, as if he were completely enchanted by her, followed by longing. Seeing Cesare holding Amari, my whole body clenched tight with longing to see him with our baby, to jump him so we can make our own baby, to tell him I love him.

  Swallowing the words as I have for months doesn’t work; this time they refuse to go away. “I want a baby, your baby. Actually, I want three little boys with big black eyes and a dimple in their cheek. And as much as I love this place, I want to raise our children in a house in the ’burbs with a big backyard. Somewhere where they can ride their bikes and build a fort and get dirty.”

  Cesare closes his eyes. Sighing, he brings my hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to my palm. “I’ll be right back.”

  I watch, unable to move as he gets up and walks out of the condo. What happened? He didn’t say, Me too, yes please. He didn’t say, I only want two kids, is that okay? His expression was sad, I think. Fear grips my entire body. Where is he? Seconds feel like hours. Why did he walk out? Is he going to get security? Out of every worst case scenario I had thought of, none of them were what is happening right now. I roll off the couch and run for my closet. I grab my go bag, Grover, and I’m gone in seconds.

  I’m out on the street, trying to wave down a cab in the freezing cold, when I feel a hand around my arm. It’s Cesare, I don’t even have to look. He doesn’t say a word, just marches me back into the building. I’m crying, I hate crying in front of him. The quiet in the elevator is suffocating me. He pushes the door closed with a bang, then pushes me up against it.

  “How the hell could you walk out on me? What the hell is going on in that fucked-up head of yours? I leave to go get a ring to put on your finger, and after you telling me you want my baby, you walk out?” he thunders and I’m shaking.

  “You didn’t say anything you walked away. You didn’t say yes, I want children too. I finally told you I loved you and you walked away.”

  “I was overcome with emotion because I had begun to wonder if you would ever say it. I didn’t want to fucking cry in front of my future wife. There are some things a man does not do. Like letting go of the woman he loves.”

  Anguish is running through me, for the honesty in his words, for screwing up all over again. “I’m sorry. I’ve loved you for so long. Even though you said all this about being yours, you never said you loved me. You never talked about the future.”

  “You spent the first few months going on and on about raising Bethany not to think becoming a wife and mother was the be all and end all for a woman, so I wasn’t sure how you felt about marriage. You never mentioned children. It wasn’t until I saw you with Amari on Thanksgiving I knew you wanted them, and I do too. I want little girls with big brown eyes and their mama’s smile. If you want to live in the suburbs we’ll live in the suburbs; you want to live on the fucking moon, I’ll make it happen. I’ve told you over and over, whatever you want, all you have to do is ask and it’s yours. My heart, my fucking soul—it’s yours and it’s been yours, always.”

  It’s there, his whole heart in his eyes. My hand goes up to his chest, to touch him. The heat of him, the solid muscles, the vibrating of his heart pounding beneath my hand—this is no dream, this is the real thing. “I love you, Cesare. Te amo.”

  His hand captures my hand, holding it tight. “I’m going to need you to say it again.”

  Tears fall. “I love you. I think as stupid as it sounds, I loved you from the first moment I saw you. You snatched my breath away then sent me reeling. Me not sharing my worries was because I was afraid I would tell you I loved you and you couldn’t say it back.”

  “I love you with everything I am. I know I messed up by trying to maintain control of this. Thinking it was just lust, I was determined to get you out of my system. It only took once to realize I didn’t want to fuck you; I wanted to make love to you. Then we made love and...” He shakes his head. “I had no idea I was so empty until you filled me full, had never guessed there was a part of me missing until I found it in you. Why do you think I kept telling you I would never let you go, that you were mine? If you left you were taking me with you. I belong to you, body and soul, the same way you belong to me. Please don’t cry, it makes me ache to see it.”

  “They’re happy tears, and tears because I’m sad and sorry I didn’t recognize it for so long.”

  “All that matters is you do.” His mouth is on mine. Dimly I’m aware we’re moving down the hall, then we’re on the bed. We’re both frantic; clothes are torn apart, pushed out of the way instead of all the way off. His first thrust sends him home, buried deep inside me. We both gasp, our breaths mingling, our souls connecting, merging, recognizing we have
found the other half of us we never knew we were missing. Mine. Cesare’s mouth finds mine, bringing tears to my eyes. I’ve been so stupid. He’s told me he loved me a thousand times already, every time we make love.

  The sun is setting as I run my hand over his tattoo, tracing the ink. His eyes are closed but he’s awake, a smile on his face. Suddenly, he sits up. Gently, he moves me off him. I sit up, wondering where he is going. He finds his jeans, and I watch him take a small box out of the pocket. As he gets back in bed he opens the box, takes out an enormous ring, and without saying a word he slides the ring on my finger then leans against the headboard.

  The ring is too big: an enormous diamond solitaire is surrounded by a halo of even more diamonds. I would never have picked it. It’s so completely Cesare, and I love it. I hug him tight. “When did you get my ring.”

  “The day after you said that stupid shit about leaving because the twenty five days were up. I already knew I wanted you forever, I wanted you to know too. After I got it I stashed it at Dante’s, I was worried you would find it before I could think of the perfect way to propose. Then the very next night you said something about Jeanine’s and Billy’s problems they were having. I remember vividly you saying it was always the women who got shafted in marriage then you shuddered.

  “I figured I’d give you more time, hell you had only just moved in. I was hoping gradually you would become comfortable in our home, with the idea of making it all legal. I wanted to lock you down tight, you are never getting away. But you never talked about it in a positive enough light to think it was safe to ask you. So I’m not asking, I’m telling you that we are getting married and soon.”

  Now I laugh, god I’ve been so stupid. “I’m thinking I want a spring wedding on Dante’s boat.” We’ve spent several sunny warm days on Dante’s boat. Calling it a boat is laughable, though, when it’s actually a three-hundred-foot yacht with three levels and two gorgeous decks.

  “Why not do Vegas?”

  Rolling my eyes, I cuddle up to him. “We are not getting married in Vegas. It doesn’t have to be a big wedding, that’s not the point. We could find a house and get married there. I want to make sure Bethany isn’t under stress while she’s there. If we wait until school’s out it will be easier for her.”

  He sighs. “Whatever you want, however you want. As long as my ring is on your finger I don’t care. When will be working on our first baby girl?”

  “Hmm...I don’t want to be showing on our wedding day, so is March okay?”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “Me either. I love you, Cesare Sabatini. I made up my mind. I don’t regret taking that money. I would do the same thing a thousand times again.”

  “I love you, Alicia Jeffries. As I told you long ago, I’m grateful you took the money. That you were patient enough to give me another chance, to give us another chance. I don’t even want to think of my life without you. You’re mine forever, my love.”

  “Thank fucking god. Now show me.”

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  "This place is insane. It's an honest to god mansion. Holy freaking crap."

  I look up from the text I just received from Dante. "Where did you go? I came out of the bathroom, and you were gone."

  Bethany holds up a bag of white cheddar popcorn, bought specifically for her since she's addicted to it. I hope Claudine never leaves us. Since we moved into our home three months ago, Claudine hired a cleaning service to handle the deep cleaning in our home and Dante's but has continued making our lives easier by splitting her week between the two homes. For now, the condo is empty. Cesare has no plans to sell it. He is considering gifting it to Bethany when she graduates next year. "I used the elevator. I didn't take the stairs. An elevator, your home has an elevator." She shakes her head as she walks over to the French doors that open to a balcony. "Seven bedrooms with a bathroom attached to every one of them, and three more half baths in the house. Then a guest house with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. You guys have a private beach, an indoor pool and an outdoor pool and a freaking elevator. It's gorgeous. I can't believe it was built in 1912. Man, they built things to last back then. I thought you were exaggerating this place. If anything, you undersold it."

  "I told you. The first few places I tried to look at, Cesare thought I was joking. Anything below ten thousand square feet and less than an acre of land wasn't even up for consideration. The three other homes we looked at were all this huge. It’s nuts. What do we need with a ten-car garage? Decorating this place for Christmas was a pain in the ass, but I had fun decorating three trees. Dante loved it. And I will admit I love having the indoor pool." I shrug. "This isn't a place I thought we could make a home, but it's been easier than I thought. I'm also warming up to the idea of having four kids instead of three. Cesare is so persuasive."

  There is no warning before Bethany pats my stomach. "A baby, I can't wait." Then I'm enveloped in a hug. "I'm so happy for you. I'm also so happy I get to hold her and play with her then I can hand her right back to you guys when she needs her diaper changed."

  "Spoken like an aunt. Dante said pretty much the same thing. But he, like Cesare, are sure it's a boy."

  "Boys." Bethany rolls her eyes as she goes back to her popcorn. "You're four months along. I'm shocked Cesare hasn't already found out the sex. It also totally sucks Dante can't be here for the wedding tomorrow. The girlfriend's dad dying is awful for her to go through but him being there for her is important. He is getting serious about this chick, huh?"

  "Oh, he's tried. I wanted to wait and be surprised but the more we talk about the nursery and everything I changed my mind. Don't tell him, I want to surprise him. After we come back from the honeymoon, an appointment for an ultrasound is scheduled.

  “Yeah, Dante might marry this woman which terrifies us all. I'm bummed he won't be here, I mean the whole point of not doing the Vegas wedding Cesare wanted was for our family to share this with us. You're right. Even if we don't like her, Dante cares about her and he needs to be there with her."

  "You guys don't like her? Why?"

  "Because she doesn't love him, she loves his money. If Nina ever once looked at Dante with love, I'd welcome her in a heartbeat. I hate the way she constantly complains about him to us when he's right there. It’s like she's trying to shame him. He didn't buy her the SUV Mercedes she wanted. He bought her the sedan. Dante only gave her one credit card when her best friend's boyfriend gave her two, never mind that there's no limit on the card and she goes through money like its water. Cesare found out she charged almost a million dollars in a single month. I swear, he bit his tongue so badly it bled not to tell Dante that she's just a money hungry bitch and to drop her. Enzo did, and they got into a huge fight. It was weeks before Dante talked to him again. Ever since we've all been careful not to say a peep against her. But, fuck, it is not easy."

  "That sucks. I'm also bummed I haven't even met Dante yet. It's weird to talk about him and feel like I know him, but after more than a year of hearing about him, I still don't. So who all is coming tomorrow?"

  Huh, that is kind of weird. "I didn't even realize that. Then again with you not being able to come back to Chicago much, it makes sense. It will be Lydia and her guy Decker Holt, Enzo, Cesare's uncle and his cousin, Gertrude, and her wife, she's that awesome woman I told you about. I got that lingerie I sent you from her. Claudine and her husband, Hannah, Ruthie and her man Stephen and the baby.”

  “Ooh, the mob uncle and cousin are coming? Do I have to kiss a ring or something?”

  Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. “Don’t even go there. Please be cool and not an idiot. It took me going to visit his uncle to get him to come. Cesare asked me if it was okay and I said yes. His uncle was worried about Cesare’s reputation and declined, at first. However, enough is enough. After more than twenty years of keeping their distance I think it’s long past time. Family is important if they don’t want to come to Sunday dinner that’s fine but they should be here t
omorrow. Besides, it’s not like this is some society affair. Cesare will put a picture in the paper after but no one except the people invited know it’s happening and we asked them not to anyone.

  “It was supposed to be low-key which you would never know if you looked at what Cesare is spending. I don't need an arch filled with four hundred blush roses and three hundred white peonies. We don't need centerpieces and vases filled with over a hundred of both peonies and roses filling the house. And oh my god don't get me started on the food. There is no way it's going to all get eaten. Claudine already called around to see where we can send the leftovers. I kept telling him it's not about having a big, fancy wedding it's about doing it with family and friends. I'm not sure if he's deliberately obtuse or what."

  "He didn't have to spend over thirty thousand on a couture Monique Lhuillier wedding dress that's made for a freaking princess either. He's doing it because he knows it will mean more in the future. Sure, you won't look back with regrets if you had just a bouquet of roses and an off the rack dress but to look back and see how beautiful the day was. Those pictures he's spending a fortune on will be something you show your kids with pride. Don't be a brat. Just say thank you."

  The more I consider what she's saying, the more I get she's right. Crap. I have some apologizing to do. "Fine, you're right. While we're being honest, I'm going to tell you: I can't wait until you are done with school. You never get to come to Chicago. Are you going to be able to visit us at Christmas? The baby will be here by then. Our due date is for the fifteenth of December. Don't you want to meet your niece?" Her eyes dim as they slide away from mine. My stomach sinks, I'm a horrible sister for making her feel guilty. "I'm sorry. If you can come that's awesome. Ignore me."