Heartbreak And Past Mistakes

by Chenell Parker

  “I’m not talking about Zina. I need to talk to Lyric,” he replied.

  “Oh God! Are you serious right now? Lyric should the furthest thing from your mind. You’re a married man, Deuce. What is wrong with you?” Kierra questioned as she frowned at him.

  “You can’t stop loving somebody in a week Kierra. The shit is impossible. If so, you really didn’t love them at all. Like it or not, I’m in love with Lyric and that will probably never change,” Deuce answered honestly.

  “Well, I’m sorry, but Lyric is not taking my calls either,” Kierra noted.

  “Can you just try Kierra, please? Call her mama or daddy. I just need to know that she’s okay,” Deuce pleaded.

  “No, I’m not helping you cheat on one cousin with the other. I hope Lyric never talks to you again,” Kierra said as she tried to walk away.

  “Kierra please, I’m desperate as fuck right now. Look at me, man. I can’t tell you the last time I really got any rest. My appetite is fucked up and I haven’t had a hair cut since the day of the concert. This ain’t even me right now and you know that. I agree that I put you a fucked up position but that wasn’t my intentions. I didn’t know that you were Lyric’s cousin too. That’s no excuse but I can’t change what’s already happened,” Deuce replied.

  “This is my first and last time getting involved in your mess. And this better stay between us,” Kierra said as she looked at him.

  “You got my word,” Deuce promised her.

  Kierra was a traitor or at least that’s how she felt. She should have remained neutral and sent Deuce on his way after she said what she had to say. Zina always told her that she was too soft and she was obviously right. Kierra didn’t even bother calling Lyric. Instead, she dialed Melody’s number and waited for her auntie to pick up.

  “Hey, my love,” Melody said when she answered the phone.

  “Hey auntie. I was just calling to check on Lyric. I’ve been trying to call her, but she hasn’t been answering for me,” Kierra said as Deuce listened in.

  “It’s not just you, baby. She hasn’t been answering for anybody, but she’s straight,” Melody replied.

  “Okay, I just wanted to make sure she was good. I’m just so sorry about everything that happened,” Kierra said as she wiped a few tears from her eyes.

  “It’s not your fault Kierra and Lyric is not mad with you. That nigga was the one who cheated on his wife and dragged my baby into all this bullshit. Lyric ain’t never been to jail a day in her life until she met his ass. I can’t even be mad at your cousin because she got fucked over too. It’s all good though. My baby got my blood flowing through her veins. She’ll get over this like she got over all the others. I’m just tired of seeing her hurting,” Melody replied.

  “I understand auntie. Just let Lyric know that I called. Tell her that I love her and to call me whenever she feels like talking,” Kierra said.

  “Okay baby, I will,” Melody replied before she hung up.

  “Are you happy now? She’s still fucked up over what you did,” Kierra snapped as she got into her car and sped away.

  Deuce dropped his head in defeat. Once Kierra left, he got into his car and did the same. He felt like a shell of his former self and he didn’t know what to do to feel whole again. Not even six months into a relationship with Lyric and he was feeling like he couldn’t live without her. He hadn’t been home since everything went down. Zina had been calling him like crazy but they hadn’t discussed anything yet. Deuce was stressed and there was only one person who he wanted to talk to when he was feeling like that. When he pulled up to his grandmother’s house, he smiled when he saw her sitting on her front porch.

  “Hey baby.” Mildred smiled when her grandson walked up on her porch.

  “Hey,” Deuce replied as he kissed her cheek and took a seat right next to her.

  “What’s wrong my love? I haven’t seen you look so down since your father was killed,” Mildred noted.

  “I messed up grandma,” Deuce admitted with a sigh and lowered head.

  “I know you did baby. What’s her name?” Mildred asked as he looked over at her in shock.

  “Why do you assume it’s another woman?” Deuce questioned.

  “I know it is. You came here with her a few times before,” Mildred replied.

  Deuce was really shocked after she said that. Mildred and her sisters visited each other often and they sometimes stayed the night at each other’s houses. When he knew that his grandmother would be gone for a day or two, he used those opportunities to bring Lyric to her house. He had a room there and that’s where he and Lyric usually chilled at.

  “How do you know that?” Deuce asked her.

  “Look around you, baby. This block is full of retired widows and we look out for each other. I get a call if my mail is late. Those neighborhood watch signs aren’t just there for show. We really do watch,” Mildred noted.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew I was bringing somebody here?” Deuce questioned.

  “Because unlike my kids, I know how to mind my business. I did pray and ask God to expose you though. And from the way you’re looking, I think my prayers were answered,” Mildred said.

  “What! How do you wish bad luck on your one and only grandchild?” Deuce asked with an amused smirk.

  “I didn’t wish bad luck on you, but I know how these things go Bronx. I can talk until I’m out of breath and you would have still did whatever you wanted to do. Whatever happened needed to happen in order for you to get your mind right. I always told you that no good ever comes from wrongdoing.”

  “Yeah and you were right too,” Deuce admitted.

  “I saw the change in you though. You seemed happier,” Mildred said.

  “I was happier,” Deuce acknowledged.

  “But, you were greedy and that’s why you got caught. I never did understand the whole cheating thing. If you’re that unhappy with a person, you should just leave. And whoever that other woman is ain’t no better than you for allowing it.”

  “She didn’t allow anything. She didn’t know that I was married,” Deuce noted.

  “That’s even worse,” Mildred said while shaking her head.

  “I just want to be Bronx and bury Deuce right along with Ace. That’s who Lyric knew me as and that’s who she fell in love with. She didn’t know about the club and my brief stints in jail. My life as a dope boy was nonexistent when I was with her and that’s what I liked the most. She introduced me to a whole new world and I don’t want to go back to the old one,” he replied.

  “Lyric, huh? Did you love her?” Mildred inquired.

  “I still do,” Deuce confessed.

  “And what about her?” Mildred asked as she discreetly pointed.

  Deuce looked in the direction that she pointed and saw Zina pulling up with her kids in the car. He ran his hand across his scruffy face and sighed. He already knew that it was only a matter of time before Zina wanted to talk. He owed her an explanation and so much more. She deserved that and he had no problem giving it to her.

  “I guess I’ve stalled long enough,” Deuce said.

  “Hey, my sweet babies.” Mildred smiled when the kids came running up on the porch.

  “Hey,” they both replied with a wave.

  “Good evening,” Zina spoke when she walked up.

  “Hey sweetheart,” Mildred replied with a smile.

  “When are you coming home Deuce? My mama got me and Baby Blue a trampoline and we need it hooked up,” Armani said.

  “I got you, baby,” Deuce replied as she came over and gave him a hug.

  “Y’all come on inside and I’ll fix us all some ice cream,” Mildred said as she got up from her rocker. She knew that her grandson and his wife needed privacy and she didn’t want the kids hearing whatever they were about to discuss.

  “Baby Blue can go. I’m staying out here and talk to my mama and Deuce,” Armani replied like she was grown.

  “Lil girl, you already know that I’m not the
one for you to play with. I’ll whip you in front of your mama and you know I will. Now, get up and come in this house,” Mildred said sternly.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Armani replied as she got up and slowly walked inside behind the older woman.

  “That lil girl is a mess,” Zina laughed as she took a seat next to her husband.

  “That’s not funny or cute and you need to stop encouraging it,” Deuce replied.

  “I’m not encouraging it. I tell her about her flip mouth all the time. But I didn’t come here to talk about Armani,” Zina pointed out.

  “I know you didn’t,” Deuce countered.

  Zina had lots of questions, so she got right down to asking them. “Was she the first? If not, how many others were there?” Zina asked him.

  “There were no others. That was the first and only time that I’ve ever stepped outside of our marriage,” Deuce assured her.

  “Is that your final answer?” Zina asked, making him look at her and frown.

  “What kind of nigga do you think I am? That’s not some shit that I made a habit out of. I can’t speak for nobody else, but I didn’t wake up one morning and just decide to cheat on you.”

  “It was my fault, I already know that,” Zina replied.

  “I would be less than a man to even let you carry the weight of my affair on your shoulders. No, it wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I can’t lie, Zina; shit has been bad with us for a while and that played a part in why I did what I did. Truthfully, there is no excuse that I can give that will make it right though.”

  “I don’t care about any of that Deuce. I can’t lie, I’m hurt, but I don’t want my marriage to end over one infidelity. I’ve been through worse and I stayed and worked it out with men who I wasn’t even married to. Just tell me what I have to do to make this right. We obviously need more than a few days at a resort to get back on track,” Zina noted.

  The few days they spent at the resort was a disaster. All they did was argue and they didn’t have sex not even once. It was then that Zina started to suspect her husband of having somebody else. She decided to plan their getaway on the weekdays so that the resort wouldn’t be too crowded. She wanted them to make love on the beach and do any and everything that their hearts desired. Deuce was there with her physically, but his mind was somewhere else. He was always texting somebody or receiving text messages. They got into it so bad on their way back that he didn’t come home for three days after that. The getaway that was supposed to make them closer seemed to pull them further apart.

  “I don’t know if getting back on track is even possible,” Deuce said, pulling Zina away from her thoughts.

  “Don’t say that! We never even tried. Maybe we can do counseling or something. Just tell me what you want me to do? I’ll have a baby if that’s what you want. Hell, I’ll have two if that will make you happy. I’m the one who caused this and I’m willing to do whatever to make it right,” Zina rambled.

  As hard as she tried to be, she was always putty in the hands of her man. Whatever Deuce wanted her to do would get done, no questions asked.

  “Having a baby won’t fix things Zina. I wanted all that with you until you singlehandedly made decisions that affected us both. The fact that you’re sitting here willing to take the blame for my fuck up shows just how much trouble this marriage is in,” Deuce pointed out.

  “How did you even meet Lyric? Did Kierra have anything to do with it?” Zina asked.

  “No, and you’re wrong for even thinking that Kierra would do you dirty like that. She’s always been solid from day one. I didn’t even know that they were related. I saw Lyric at her job one day, but we officially met at the gym,” Deuce replied.

  “I take it she’s who you’ve been spending nights with too. I passed here a few times at night and your truck was nowhere in sight,” Zina said.

  “Yeah,” he replied honestly.

  “Well, there’s no need for me to ask if feelings are involved because I can clearly see that,” Zina said as she ran her hand through her bone straight weave.

  She kind of wanted Deuce to deny it, but he remained silent instead. They were both quiet for a while until her kids came running outside a few minutes later.

  “Can you come hook up our trampoline Deuce?” Baby Blue asked as he stood right next to him.

  “I got you, bruh. How have you and your sister been doing in school?” Deuce asked him.

  “We both passed our test and my teacher said that she’s proud of me,” Baby Blue replied with a smile.

  “That’s what’s up. I’m proud of you too. We’re paying that tutor too much money for you to still be failing,” Deuce replied.

  When Armani came out, Deuce talked to her for a little while too. When they saw their friends come outside, they ran next door and started playing with them.

  “When can we expect you to come back home?” Zina asked.

  “I don’t know Zina. I got a lot on my mind right now and I’m just trying to figure some shit out,” Deuce replied.

  “You love her. If you didn’t, there would be nothing for you to figure out,” Zina said as she stood to her feet.

  Deuce felt bad as fuck but stringing her along would only make things worse. He regretted going to the resort with her because he almost lost Lyric because of it. He told Lyric that he had a lot going on, but he wasn’t even in town for those few days that he didn’t see her. After that, he made it a point to see and talk to her every day. As easy as it would have been to pack his clothes and run back home to his wife, it really wasn’t fair to her. His heart was with someone else and she deserved more than that.

  “You can let the kids stay for a little while if you want to,” Deuce said when it looked like Zina was about to leave.

  “Wow. You’re not gonna even try to deny it,” Zina laughed sarcastically.

  “What good would that do Zina? Lying is what got me in this fucked up situation right now,” Deuce pointed out.

  “Why do you feel the need to take all the blame? That bitch don’t get no passes for fucking you. Nothing good ever comes from messing with a married man,” Zina argued.

  “She didn’t know that I was married,” Deuce admitted.

  “God Deuce! Was I that bad of a wife that you felt the need to deny me altogether?” Zina asked him.

  “Yeah, you were. It’s fucked up because I honestly thought that I was the problem for a while,” Deuce answered.

  “You were the problem for a while. Our life was perfect before you started switching up on me. You turned into Bronx, but Deuce is who I fell in love with,” Zina pointed out.

  “If becoming a better man is a problem, then you need more help than I can give you. In less than a year’s time, I made more money in investments than I ever saw when I was selling dope. All you ever cared about was being the wife of a nigga who pushed weight but I’m no longer that nigga. It’s a problem when I ask your son what he wants to be when he grows up and being a hustler is his only answer.”

  “That’s what he hears his uncles say. Baby Blue knows better than that. He knows the dangers and risks that comes with that because I talk to him about it. He ain’t selling no dope because I won’t allow it,” Zina replied.

  “You won’t allow your son to sell dope, but you’re good with your husband doing it. The same dangers and risks that you want to shield him from are the same ones that you wanted me to face every day. Think about that for a while and let me know if you can make some sense out of it,” Deuce said as he got up and walked into the house.

  Zina’s kids weren’t ready to go and she gladly let them stay. She needed a drink and her mother’s house was always the place to be. She hadn’t told her sisters about what was going on in her marriage but now was the perfect time to fill them in.

  Chapter 26

  Two weeks later and Lyric still wasn’t back to her old self. She did a great job of pretending that all was well though. After taking an entire week off from work, she was back like she never left. Bronx was stil
l calling her from different numbers, but she never answered the ones that she wasn’t familiar with. She was still saying by her parents and she didn’t have any immediate plans to go back home. Melody went and cleaned out her refrigerator and she threw away anything of Bronx’s that was still there. Lyric didn’t want any memories of him in her home Her broken heart was all the reminder that she would ever need.

  After using the restroom, Lyric exited the stall and washed her hands. Just as she grabbed a few paper towels to dry them, the bathroom door flew open and Jena came rushing inside. Lyric cringed when she heard her in the stall throwing up. Jena was really going through it in her pregnancy and Spencer didn’t seem to give a damn. He flaunted his new woman around her like Jena was nothing. Lyric was thankful that she dodged that bullet, but she still ended up getting hit with another one.

  “Here you go,” she said as she walked into the stall and handed Jena the paper towels that she had just wet for her.

  “Thank you,” Jena said, shocked that Lyric was being so nice to her.

  “Do you want a ginger ale or something?” Lyric offered.

  “No, I’m fine,” she replied as Sabrina came rushing in there.

  “Sorry for leaving my work area Lyric, but I was coming to check on Jena,” Sabrina said when she saw her. Ever since she’d been put back on active probation, Sabrina had stepped up her game. She hadn’t come to work late or called off since then and she barely left her desk.

  “It’s okay Sabrina, I understand,” Lyric replied as she walked away.

  She wasn’t trying to be a bitch to anyone and she actually felt bad for Jena. She didn’t know how far along she was in her pregnancy, but she was obviously going through it alone. She was going through her own thing and she didn’t wish heartbreak on anyone. Jena deserved what she was getting and she was paying out the ass for her mistakes.

  “Hey cousin. I was just coming to look for you. Kierra was asking if you wanted something to eat since she’s bringing me some lunch,” Nova said as she met Lyric in the hallway.

  Lyric had eventually called her cousin just to put her mind at ease. She wasn’t mad at Kierra and she had no reason to be. Nothing that happened was her fault and Lyric told her so when they talked. They didn’t go into any details, but she did apologize for shutting her out for an entire week. She was an emotional wreck and she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone during that time.