That Girl: Bre

by Amber Monroe

  “Come on, bae. A nigga been missing you, I need something to remind me of what you feel like.” He said while reaching his hand down in the pants. He knew how to get me, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss his feeling either.

  “Mmmm.” I moaned.

  “You like that?” He asked while kissing me.

  “Yes.”

  “Yes, who?”

  “Yes, daddy,” I responded and hated it. It was weird calling him daddy since that’s what I called my own father. I wasn’t one of those girls who were into that, it was always awkward, no matter how many times he made me say it.

  “Are we the only ones here?” I asked before letting him take me all the way there. He was known to have his friends spending the night or crashing from time to time; I guess he could do that since he basically had the place to himself. He lived with his dad, but his dad was currently doing time in prison. I’m not sure how long he has, but he’s been gone for about a year, and Jemar claimed to be the man of the house now. They had a three-bedroom apartment not too far from Georgia Ave. Since I’ve been here, it was never really clean and reminded me of a mini trap house. It was definitely decorated like two guys lived there. Jemar recently upgraded it with new TVs and a big ass gray sectional. His game consoles and games where all over the living room. Clothes and shoes were scattered around, and food packages were on the coffee table. Jemar would only clean up whenever one of his dad’s friends would visit and check on things, but most of the time, it looked like this. I rarely wanted to come over here because of how nasty it was. I was used to cleaning up after my family, but I didn’t feel obligated to clean up after him and his friends.

  “It’s just us.” He answered. I smiled at him, relieved because I never felt comfortable around his friends, except for Ricardo. He was sweet and actually spoke, unlike the rest. He was cute too, but I wasn’t that type, and I don’t know if he even found me attractive.

  “Come on, let’s go to the bedroom.” He said as he took his hand out of my pants then led me to his room. I followed him like a lost puppy, knowing I wasn’t up to this, but wanting to please him was on my mind. I may come off naive, but I know that if not you’re taking care of your man, somebody else will. I know I have gone longer than expected. Jemar seemed to be the same, but I could tell he was starting to get impatient. As soon as we got into his room, he laid me down and started to peel my clothes off. I can’t lie, I felt a little nervous since my belly was now starting to grow. It wasn't much, but with my clothes off, you could tell, and I wasn’t sure if he would be turned off by it. So far, he didn’t seem to be, so I was somewhat thankful. Once his clothes were off, he got on top of me and started kissing me. I was beginning to get a little queasy but brushed it off because I felt like my nerves were trying to get the best of me. I felt Jemar position himself at my opening and braced myself for what was next. And a quick sidebar, I loved Jemar, and he had a great length, but his penis was more on the skinny size. He got the job done, and I always seemed to enjoy myself, but every time I watch a porno, I wished I could experience what it was like to be with a man with great width. But like I said, I loved him, and I was satisfied so far. Don’t people say, “It’s not the size of the boat, but the stroke of the ocean.”

  Right after he inserted himself, my stomach took a turn for the worst. I quickly pushed Jemar off of me and ran right across to the bathroom. I made it just in time to catch the toilet and throw up.

  “Not this shit again!” I heard Jemar yell. You would’ve thought he would have been more concerned about my well-being than his nut, but that was Jemar for you. After I cleaned myself up, I went back to the room and sat down on his bed. Jemar was putting his clothes back on and avoided making eye contact with me.

  “Sorry,” I said as I rested my hand on my stomach. I was still feeling queasy, but vomiting helped a little. He didn’t say anything but just continued to get dressed.

  “Are you mad at me?” I asked.

  “I got a move to make, so I’m taking you home. Get dressed.” He said while tossing my clothes at me. He was mad and trying to send me on my way because he didn’t get what he wanted. I didn’t say anything but got dressed while he left the room. As much as I wanted to cry for being with somebody who would get cold at the slightest thing, I couldn’t because it was my fault. I saw this side of him before I got pregnant and always annoyed it by giving him some space. However, we were bringing a child into this world, and he needed to learn how to communicate his feelings. I don’t care if we didn’t stay a couple after our child was born, but I wasn’t going to let him get off the hook and leave me to be a single mother.

  “I’m ready,” I said as I walked out of his room and into the living room. He was texting on his cellphone and quickly put it up when he heard me. I could’ve asked why he put his phone up so fast, but I didn’t care. If Jemar wanted to play me, he would be in a world of a surprise if I ever found out. So for now, I’ll put it behind me, but not for too long. He didn’t say anything but just looked at me.

  “What?” I said with an attitude.

  “Now, you’re mad?” He chuckled.

  “I’m not. I’m just ready to get home.”

  “You’re mad because you ain’t been press to get home. You love being over here.” He smirked. Little do you know. I thought to myself. I ignored him then headed to the door, but as soon as I opened it, he closed it back.

  “Wait.” He said. I still kept my back towards him. I could feel him breathing on my neck.

  “I’m sorry. I’m a little sexually frustrated, and I miss you being around. Since you got pregnant, things ain’t been fun like before, and I feel like we never just make time for us. The only time we’re around each other is because of the baby. Either I’m taking to the clinic for a check-up or buying you more prenatal vitamins. I don’t feel like I’m your boyfriend anymore, but just the nigga who got you pregnant. I understand that we both put ourselves here, but it shouldn’t stop us from being an actual couple. I know we haven’t said it yet because everything happened so fast, but I love you, Bre. And I’m happy that you’re carrying my first child.” He expressed. And that’s how he got me every time. And I didn’t know it then, but this would only be the first of many “heartfelt” moments whenever he knew could draw me back in. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and end things right here, but I was so hopeful for us.

  ∞∞∞

  I was lost in my thought as Jemar drove me back home. As much I wanted to believe what he was saying, his words really didn’t touch my heart. It only manipulated my mind and made me feel like I should except how he was treating me because we were bringing a child into this world together. That wasn’t the first time he told me he loved me, he actually said the night I gave him my virginity and after our first argument. I don’t know if he had a bad memory or was forgetting his lies, but I was starting to see Jemar differently. I know I said I loved him, and I did, but something about his love for me didn’t feel right. And it was too late to go in the past and change things, so I guess I could thug’ it out with him and see where things go from now on.

  “I thought it was called morning sickness for a reason. You seem to get sick in the afternoon more.” He said, killing the silence in the car.

  “It can happen whenever, to be honest. Every woman experiences different pregnancies. My mom actually got her sickness in the afternoon like me when she was carrying Alexis.”

  “That’s weird, but you be thuggin’ it.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled at him. If only he could stay like this throughout my pregnancy, there might be hope for us. I thought.

  “Speaking of your mom, does she know yet? I feel like you keep me more of a secret than the baby. The only person I met is Chianne, and she doesn’t really like me. Is that why you haven’t introduced me to your family yet?” He asked. I looked at him with my eyebrow raised. Jemar had a big family like me, but he hasn’t formally introduced me to them either. The folks I did meet were mainly his
friends, who he considered cousins and his dad’s friends, who he regarded as uncles. I never really met anyone who was actually blood related to him. Still, I never sweated it because I understood how he was raised. And to be honest, Chianne’s impression of Jemar was part of the reason I wasn’t rushing with introductions. She told me that she didn’t get good vibes from him, and I definitely understood what she was saying, but a week later I found out I was pregnant.

  “It’s not that, it’s just I would be introducing you as my boyfriend and the father of my child. I’m just trying to buy us some time so that when I tell them, we’ll be well into our relationship, and they’ll have no choice but to accept our child and us.” I explained. Half of it was true, but I let you decide which is the truth.

  “I get it, but we gotta tell them soon because you’re already starting to show. And I don’t want your peoples’ thinking I’m a deadbeat or something. I’ma be there for you and mine. That’s on my life.” He said.

  “I’ll tell them soon, bae,” I said then leaned over to kiss him. Jemar actually surprised me by putting his hand on my stomach for the first time ever. I don’t know.... maybe we can last and be a family.

  When I got home, the sun was almost finished setting, and I was happy about the conversation I had with Jemar. He was right about introducing him and telling my family about the baby. I was scared, but it was time to face the music, or the music was about the face me. The lights were off when I walked into the house. It seemed unusual because my mother usually keeps one light on downstairs even when everyone had retreated to their room. As I made my way up the stairs, a light came on, scaring me instantly. I looked to the left and saw my mother sitting in the dining room, looking at me with disgust in my eyes.

  “You scared me, ma. What you doing in the dark?” I asked.

  “Jemar, just dropped you off?” She asked.

  “Yes. I’m headed up to take a shower and change for our girls’ night.” I said then started to head the stairs again. I heard my mother laugh as I made my way to my room. However, once I got to my room, it looked like it had been stripped of everything I owned. I ran back downstairs, and that’s when I noticed that all of my things were sitting in the living room, neatly packed up.

  “Is this a joke?” I asked, annoyed. My mother was never a prankster, so this caught me off guard. I honestly wasn’t in the mood, but if my mother was being funny, I could appreciate it since she was always so serious. However, she could’ve settled with something more basic.

  “You got me. Ha.Ha.ha.” I said as I started to grab my things.

  “You should probably call Jemar back.”

  “Why? We agreed that you would meet him in about two months.”

  “Things changed.” She said nonchalantly.

  “Like?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you being fucking pregnant.” She said, banging her fist on the table. I jumped but tried to remain calm.

  “What?” I played off, but I was scared as shit.

  “Don’t fucking “what” me! You heard what I said. Your fast ass done got pregnant, trying to hide the shit from me.” She yelled.

  “Mommy, what are you talking about?”

  “I got a call from my job about a clinic calling for me, saying they needed my permission for an abortion for you.”

  “WHAT!?” I screamed, not at her, but at what she shared. I never signed up for an abortion. Why would they call her when I never gave them her information? And I thought there was a patient to doctor privacy policy. Why would they need to call her? And why would they lie about me getting an abortion? Did they have my information mixed up with another patient?

  “Don’t worry, I gave them my permission, your appointment is on Monday, and I’m going with you.”

  “I’m not getting an abortion. I’m almost four months, ma.” I finally confessed.

  “See, I was hoping that this was a misunderstanding, and they called the wrong person, but you didn’t even deny it.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said slowly. I was trying to hold back my tears, but they were coming down on their own.

  “I trusted you! I fucking trusted you! You lied in my face for months.” She said as she put her hands over her face.

  “It was an accident, and I was going to tell you.”

  “When? When you’re going into labor?”

  “No, soon because I know I couldn’t keep this secret anymore. I’m sorry, mommy. I really am. This wasn’t my plan, but I’m going to be responsible and handle everything.”

  “Being responsible is aborting that thing and going about your business. You’re not old enough to raise a baby, hell you’re still being raised. You have school, college, and a future. A baby will ruin that for you!”

  “But, you did it.”

  “And you think I was happy? I struggled, dropped out of school, got my GED years later, and settled with a hospital job. You think I wanted to be an RN? No, but it was a great opportunity to feed my family and support us. I ruined my life getting pregnant early in life.”

  “But you made stuff happen and survived.”

  “Life shouldn’t be about surviving, Bre. That’s all I’m doing, surviving. I’m not living, I’m not happy, I have to do what I have to do because of the choices and mistakes I made. Don’t be like me, and I thought I instilled that in you.”

  “You wasn’t this vocal with Wayne.”

  “That’s what you think? I didn’t have a say in Aniyah’s life. You don’t think I tried to get Wayne to convince her to abort or even told her mama. Aniyah’s freeloading ass was on a mission and had that child for security. That bitch thought Wayne was going to take her out of the hood, but the joke was on her ass.”

  “I don’t need this baby for security. I will do whatever I have to raise this baby.”

  “But you don’t have to, Bre. Why make life hard when you don’t have to? You can always have another baby or babies, now is not the time.”

  “Ma, please don’t make me.” I cried out.

  “If you want to stay under this roof, you have no other choice. I’m not allowing another bastard in here!”

  “I’m too far long.”

  “I know someone who will do it. You don’t have to share that information with them, as far as they know, you just found out.” She said calmly like she had this planned out. I was honestly disgusted with her. How could my mother be like this? Did she really hate her life that much? Did she despise Wayne’s kids that much? Would she despise mine?

  “NO!” I said.

  “Part of me was hoping you be as smart as you claim to be, but some people who are smart on paper are not as smart as they appear in real life. You better call that fucking deadbeat, because that’s what he’ll be and tell him to come to pick your ass up. You have ten minutes to get your shit and get the fuck out of my house, bitch.” She said as she folded her arms. I wanted to break down and beg her to change her mind, but I hated her now. How could a mother treat her own child like this? She didn’t even treat Wayne like this, and he had two kids. Not to mention, she allowed Aniyah to stay here from time to time.

  Why was she treating me like this when I always did what she told me? I made one mistake, and she was already ready to be done with me. And she called me out of my name. I could never and would never forgive her. I pulled my phone out and quickly dialed Jemar. Of course, he didn’t answer. I didn’t have anyone else to call at the moment. My cousin, Keisha, lived too far, and I didn’t feel like explaining to her what was going on. Chianne didn’t drive, and I couldn’t even afford an Uber because I would definitely need an SUV. And where would I go? Jemar talked all that shit earlier, he needed to back it up now. I needed him. We needed him. I decided to keep calling until he answered.

  “What’s up?” Jemar said when he finally answered.

  “I need you to come to get me, it’s important. Like, ASAP.” I said.

  “What’s going on?”

  “It’s time for you to step up and take care of your
child and me,” I said, lowly into the phone.

  “I’m on my way.” He said. I just ended the call.

  “What’s all this stuff doing in here?” Wayne asked with Asia on in his arms. Ariana was next to him. He looked at my mother than at me, I tried to wipe my tears off my face.

  “Grandma!” Ariana said. My mother didn’t say anything but just looked at her.

  “What’s going on?” Wayne asked. It was silent. “Ari, take your sister upstairs to Auntie’s room and don’t come down until I call for you.”

  “Okay, daddy,” Ariana said as she waited for Wayne to let Asia down, then they walked upstairs.

  “Is anybody going to talk? Who stuff is this?” Wayne said once they girls were upstairs.

  “Ask her.” My mother said. Wayne looked at me, waiting for me to talk.

  “It’s mine. I’m pregnant, and ma is kicking me out over one mistake!” I shared.

  “You’re pregnant?” Wayne repeated. I nodded. I know he was disappointed since I was his little sister.

  “By who?”

  “My boyfriend,” I said.

  “What, boyfriend? I didn’t even know you were dating.”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “Well, I got time.”

  “Not now, Wayne. I don’t have time, your mother wants me out in ten minutes.”

  “Six.” She smirked.

  “Really, ma?” Wayne asked.

  “Wayne, stay out of this.”

  “How can I? That’s my sister. You’re her mother.”

  “She’s not my fucking daughter. She’s a stupid bitch who’s ruining her life. She wants to act like she’s grown, well let her be just that and fall right on her face. I’ll give her about a week until she realizes she’s making a mistake. The only way she’s coming back is if she aborts that bastard.”