by Amber Monroe
“Not really, but I can’t talk now. Pick me up at this bitch’s crib.”
“Bet.” He said before ending the call.
“You didn’t deserve that. I know it don’t seem like I like you, I don’t. But you didn’t deserve that.”
“Man, in a respectful, but disrespectful way- fuck you and your hoe ass daughter! You knew that bitch was foul, and you sat in my face, knowing what her hoe ass was up to. That nasty bitch up there sucking dick and getting fingered in her bedroom where my kids sleep. In your damn house!” I screamed at her. I didn’t have to come this hard at her. I really wanted to project this towards Aniyah, but I was too fucking hurt. And to think I was about to marry her. Yeah fucking right. Ain’t no forgiving her after this shit. She’s dead to me, and if I was a little more stable, I would try to get custody of my girls. They don’t need to grow up in this kind of environment where their mama getting a train ran on their bed. Just thinking about that shit, just got my blood boiling.
“Well, maybe if you had your shit together, she wouldn’t have to fuck guys who got more money than you to get her bills paid.”
“So basically you raised a fucking prostitute?” I laughed.
“Please, bitches do this shit every day to get what they want. If nigga wants to treat you because he enjoys your company, it ain’t prostitution. If called being a fucking boss, something you don’t know anything about. Hell, you barely a man. Working at a bare minimum job, living in your mom’s basement, and you don’t have a car! I don’t know what my daughter saw in your ass. She claimed potential. She thought you came from a family of wealth; that’s why she trapped your ass the first time. The second time was an accident, but she figured if it didn’t work out, you’d be paying child support for two kids instead of one. That bitch was making chess moves on your ass, and you thought it was love. Stupid.” She laughed. I rushed over to her and grabbed her neck, squeezing the breath out of her.
“Wayne, what are you doing?” Aniyah screamed from behind me. I turned to look at her and saw that she had a silk robe on. I looked back and her mother and saw her eyes starting to roll to the back of her head. I quickly released my grip around her neck.
“You’re fucking dead.” Her mother said, trying to catch her breath.
“Fuck you!” I said to her.
“Fuck you. Just wait, Mario and Case are gonna your ass, bitch. Aniyah will be raising those kids as a single parent after they’re finished with you.”
“I’m taking that you’re talking about them niggas upstairs? You don’t really know me, MarKeisha. I’m not one who take threats lightly. Fuck around, and Aniyah will be burying your ass.” I said with a smirk. Yeah, I like to be a stand-up guy, but I grew up in these streets and not just knew the people in it. Nobody really knew that I witness ed and participated in a lot of shit when I was younger and some shit you don’t forget.
“Wayne, can we talk?” Aniyah said. I looked at her as if she was the scum on the bottom of my shoes.
“Nah. I’m done with you. And to think I was about to propose to your hoe ass on your birthday. I’m glad I came straight here after getting fired. I needed to see this shit. God wanted me to see you for who you really are. Now I understand why niggas was always looking at me a certain way. They knew who you were and probably was laughing behind my back. Five years! Five fucking years down to the drain because of you. Now everything makes sense. You damn sure wasn’t no virgin when I met your ass. No telling how many bodies you already had on you. No telling how many you had since being together. Are Asia and Ariana even mine?”
“What?! Yes, they are. Wayne, I would never-”
“Save it, bitch. I don’t trust anything out of your mouth. I’ll just have them tested, and until I get the test back, they’re your fucking kids. I ain’t doing shit, so don’t fucking call me for shit until I confirm they’re mine.”
“Don’t take it out on them. They are yours, Wayne.” She cried. Those tears meant nothing to me. Asia looked just like me, so I wasn’t concerned about her. But, Ariana looked too much like Aniyah and had nothing that resembled me. If she wasn’t mine or if they both weren’t mine, I was going to body Aniyah’s ass.
And right on time, I saw Roon pulling up in his all black with red trim 2015 G-Wagon. I walked out without saying anything, Aniyah tried to grabbed my arm, but I pushed her ass, making her stumble back.
“You good?” Roon asked as I got in the passenger seat.
“Nah, man, I’m not. You knew she was a hoe, huh?” I asked, staring at him as he pulled off.
“Everybody knew, man.” He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. I shook my head.
“I thought we were brothers, man. You had me walking around here like a damn fool. Niggas were probably laughing behind my back and shit.”
“Sorry, son. I knew how much you cared about her ass. I didn’t know how to tell you without having proof. I heard some stories, but it’s not like I actually had proof to show you. I figured her hoe ass ways would eventually catch up to her. That’s why I lowkey trying to stop you from proposing to her ass.”
“I get it, bruh. But I wished you would’ve still planted something in my ear.”
“Nigga, I never said anything nice about her ass.” He laughed, and that made me crack a smile too.
“True,” I said.
“So, what’s next?”
“I need to pick the kids up and go find a place that does DNA testing.”
“Damn, bruh, you testing the kids? You ain’t do that when they first were born?”
“Nah, fool! I never thought I had a reason to. Not until now. I don’t trust her ass. And her mama was talking about how Aniyah trapped me with Ariana because she thought I came from money. Asia was just extra insurance in case we ever broke up. What kind of fucked up shit is that? The bitch never loved me, she was just using my ass for financial security while she fucked niggas to pay her bills and shit. What bills? I don’t know. They on Section8, her lazy ass mama, get a check for everything damn thing, so I don’t know what bills she has. Hell, she even got that free ass Obamacare phone.”
“Not the Obama phone.” Roon laughed.
“Bitch was always asking me for $10 for extra minutes and shit because she ran through the little 300 they gave her. Man, my mama was right. I should’ve listened to her and never fucked around with that bitch.”
“You live, and you learn bruh. Just get these tests done so you’ll know what to do next. If they,not yours, then that’s somebody else’s problem. If they are yours, then I’ll know you’ll do what’s best for them.” He said as he stopped at a red light on Rhode Island Ave. He took a blunt out of his ashtray and lit it.
“I’m all they know as a father figure unless she had other niggas playing that role too. Man, I can’t trust nothing her ass said or did.”
“I feel you. Just let the test do the talking and go from there.” He said then handed me the blunt. I no longer had a job, but I was trying to take this test first.
“Nah, man, I need to take this test.”
“Nigga them places are closed for the day. Take this shit and calm your nerves. Shit, you probably need some pussy too.”
“Hell yeah. She ain’t been giving me none in months. Now I know why.” I said as I took the blunt from him.
“We still need to get the kids?”
“Nah, let that bitch pick her kids up,” I said as I took a long pull from the blunt. It’s been years since I smoked, and this shit felt so good traveling through my lungs.
“Shit good, huh?” Roon said as he lit another blunt for himself. I guess he could tell that I needed this one to myself. “It’s from my new supplier, Henríquez Cartel. Hang with me this weekend, and I got you! It’s time for a boys’ weekend. Just money, weed, and bitches.” Roon smirked. Shit, I was newly single and jobless. I needed a fucking break for once. This walking the straight and narrow path was kicking my ass, and I needed something different. I don’t know, maybe I should take Roon up on his offer.
Hell, his life looked good from what I could see. It was time that I did something with my life and become somebody. I was about to be twenty-one this year, and I needed something to prove that I was living. I can stack my money, become financially independent, and help moms out. This year is going to be about me! It’s time that I lived and enjoy being single. There will be no more relationships for a while, hell I don’t know if I ever want another relationship. Bitches ain’t shit.
11. Chianne
It was around 10’o’clock when Eric finally decided to come over. I can’t believe I allowed myself to be available to him...again. I can’t lie, I missed him a lot, but allowing myself to be on the side for him was getting old. However, I was ready to put it all on the line and see where things would go.
Tap..tap..tap
I heard taps on my window and slowly made my way over to it to let Eric in.
“What’s up?” I said as I opened the window then watched as he climbed through.
“Hey.” He said once he got in. He looked and smelled good. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt, light washed distressed skinny jeans, and a pair of Jordan 4’s. Even in his basic attire, my body still quaked for him.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush... I’m ready to take it there with you. However, that means we stop being a secret and start being an actual couple.”
“Wait...you ready to have sex? Like sex-sex? Like my yeah’ actually going into your... yeah’?”
“Yeah…” I said lowly. I was ready, but I was scared.
“Look, Chi, you know I care about you more than I show, but there is no pressure. We can just be cool until we’re ready to take it there.”
“So you don't want to have sex with me?” I said. I was not expecting him to say that. If anything, I thought he would be happy and ready to get this over with. “Have you been having sex with someone else? Is that why you’re trying to end this?” I was offended.
“What? No.”
“So what’s up? You’ve been complaining about us staying in second base with each other, and when I’m finally ready to give it to you, you just want to be cool. There must be somebody else in the picture, and you no longer want me until you need me.”
“Chi, it’s nothing like that. It’s just….”
“It’s just what?” I shouted. I wasn’t trying to be loud, but I was getting irritated.
“Calm down. Look, don’t tell anybody about what I’m about to tell you.”
“What?” I said, confused.
“Promise to not share what I’m about to tell you.”
“I promise.”
“I’m a virgin.”
“What?” I chuckled.
“What’s funny?”
“I don’t believe you.”
“What’s not to believe.”
“Eric, you are the ladies’ man. You want me to believe that you never went all the way with them hoes?”
“You don’t have to believe it. It’s my truth, and I thought I could trust you with it. I’m good, Chi. Share your goodies with whoever. I’m out.” He said as he headed towards the window. I’ve never seen Eric like this before and was feeling like shit that I laughed in his face.
“Wait, Eric,” I said as I pulled on his arm. He stopped. “I’m sorry for laughing. I’ve always assumed that you’ve done it before. That’s why you always seemed so impatient with me.”
“I was never impatient. Sometimes I did get anxious, but I never wanted to rush anything with you. I know I act like an asshole, but I do care about you.”
“I care about you too,” I said, then grabbed his chin and kissed him.
“Are you sure, Chi? We don’t have to rush into this.”
“I’m sure, Eric. There’s nobody out there that I want to have it, but you.”
∞∞∞
Ten minutes later, we were in my bed naked, just listening to each other breathe. We haven’t done anything yet. I was nervous, and I guess he was too. I honestly couldn’t believe that Eric was a virgin also. I was happy to hear that, but I was always under the impression he wasn’t. I’m not trying to get my hopes too high because we had a long way to go, but this was my sign to keep the hope alive.
“You ready?” Eric asked, taking me out of the thoughts.
“Mhm,” I said.
“I wasn’t prepared, so do you have protection?”
“Yeah,” I said as I turned on my side to grab a condom from my nightstand. They always had free ones at clinics, so I always grabbed some just in case. “I hope it fits, I grab a handful whenever I go to the clinic. Not that I often go, but I go see my doctor to make sure I’m healthy and clean.” I rambled. I was nervous, and I was the one who initiated it.
“Cool,” Eric said. He took the condom and started to put it on. It seemed like he was struggling with it for a minute.
“Do you need the light on?” I said as I sat up and cut my light on. I pulled the covers back and saw that the condom looked a little too tight on his penis. It didn’t look right, and I didn’t want him potentially rip it, and I end up pregnant. I wasn’t trying to have that because I was still young, and to be honest, I’m not sure if I want kids. After everything I’ve been through in my life, I don’t know if I ever see myself having kids.
“What?” Eric said with an attitude.
“I thought you might need help,” I said.
“It’s my dick. I think I know what to do with it more than you.”
“Well, you seemed like you were struggling.”
“Well, I wasn’t so cut the lights back off so we can get this over with.”
“I think this was a mistake. You can just go.” I said as I wrapped myself up with the covers. Eric was ruining this moment that was not just big for me, but us. No matter how much I cared for him, I wasn’t about to let him talk to or treat me anyway.
“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted this.”
“I thought I did too, but I’m not feeling your attitude. I want my first time to be special and loving. Not rushed with attitude. I’m good. I can hold out a little longer and eventually find someone worthy of experiencing this with me.” I expressed. Eric didn’t say anything, but just sat up and rested his back against my headboard.
“I’m sorry, Chi. I’m just nervous, and I feel like I’m not prepared. I didn’t even have my own condom, and this shit is tight on my joint. I feel embarrassed.”
“Why? This is our first time, and we don’t really know what to do.”
“Yeah, I know. I just want to be perfect for you.”
“You already are,” I said while looking into his eyes. Eric leaned over and kissed me.
“I love you, Chi.” He said, surprising me. I knew that I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.
“I love you too,” I said, kissing his lips. I reached down and took the condom off then replaced it with one that was a size up. I patiently waited for Eric to put it on, and this time it was the perfect fit. And I think it was vital for us to have that little moment because my nerves were calm now. I needed that assurance from him, and he needed it from me too.
“Ready?” Eric asked again. I cut the light off, laid back in the bed, and took a deep breath.
“I’m ready,” I said while nodding my head.
12. Eric
“You good?” I asked Chianne. It’s been about five minutes since we finished and she was quiet. I was quiet too, but I wanted to make sure she was okay.
“Mhm.” She said lowly. A half-smile appeared on my face. I enjoyed my first time, but I know things were a little uncomfortable for Chianne. The pain eventually went away, but I was feeling pleasure the entire time. I always imagined how my first time would go, but I never expected it to be with Chianne. However, I’m happy that it was with her.
“Was I good?” I asked. Probably wasn’t the ideal time to ask, but I had to know.
“Typical Eric.” Chianne chuckled.
“Was I?”
“I guess. Ask me once we get
used to each other’s bodies.”
“You’re right. Do you need anything? Want me to clean you up?”
“No, I’ll get up to take a shower in a minute and change the sheets. I just need a minute.
“Did you bleed a lot?”
“I don’t know yet. I’ll see when I get up.”
“So….what’s next for us?” I asked as I turned on my side to look at her.
“I already told you that I wasn’t giving my virginity away unless I was your girlfriend.”
“I know, but are we going to tell people about us or stay a secret?” I asked just as my phone started vibrating. I turned over and found my phone in my jeans on the floor. I missed the call but saw that Tiffany sent a text.
“Who was that?” Chianne asked.
“Wayne. Reminding me about my mama’s new curfew rules. I gotta head out.”
“You know you can stay the night and just leave in the morning. It’s pretty late, Eric.” She said, sounding a little sad.
“I know…,” I said then leaned back on her headboard.
“Are you staying?” Chianne said.
“Yeah.”
“How are things at home since Bre left?”
“For the most part, they’re the same, it’s just that my mother be snapping more over the littlest things.”
“Is she still mad about Bre being pregnant?”
“It’s hard to tell sometimes. During Christmas, she still had Bre’s gifts under the tree, and I caught her putting them up in the attic. However, whenever Alexis asks about Bre coming home, my mother ignores her. It’s weird.”
“She’s probably still hurt. She still needs some time to heal.”
“Yeah, I guess. Have you talked to Bre? She hasn’t called anyone, I know she keeps in contact with you.”
“She does. She’s fine...I guess. It’s just Jemar.”
“What about him?”
“I just don’t trust him...it’s just something about him.
“Like what? Is he hurting her or something?” I said, raising my voice a little.